he makes you weak. he tears you open, rib after rib and you still thank him for it. he doesn’t talk to you for three months, and you keep your chest open, hoping he’ll fall back into it someday. he does. he always does.
there is love, and there is him. he is somehow, impossibly, more. he is what it feels like to get stabbed in the chest when you’ve been wishing your whole life to die. he is bittersweet fulfillment, he is like kissing a mouth full of blood, he is what the first poet wrote about.
'i cut his hair myself one night, a pair of dull scissors in the yellow light, and he told me that i’d done alright, and kissed me til’ the morning light’
the first time he kisses you, the sunlight is so bright that the backs of your eyelids are painted red. there are hands in hands, hands under shirts, hands burning through skin and touching soul. the first time he kisses you, it tastes like burning, like fear, like the only salvation you need. the first time he kisses you is the first time you commit blasphemy, the first time you think Hell would be worth it if only you got to keep him.
'the history books forgot about us, and the bible didn’t mention us, not even once’
you expect fanfare. you expect the whole world to shift, you expect everything to seem a little off, at least by the smallest degree. the first day after he leaves you, everything is the same. there is still the fucking heat, there are people laughing, you look the exact same you looked when everything was perfect, and it seems wrong. there should have been darkness, changing constellations, there should have been the fucking apocalypse, but the world is moving while you are standing still trying to stop it, trying to make it notice the crack.
you start believing in other dimensions, other worlds where the two of you are a reality rather than a forgotten history, you start believing in other realms when you lose all hope in this one. in this world, it is the end. in this world, he is kissing someone else. in another, he’s yours, he never wants to be anyone else’s again.
honestly I saw 5sos and 1d within 10 days of eachother and there’s such a big difference between them. like I love them both so much, but 1d is a crowd pleaser. they do things to make the crowd go crazy, they try a little harder. but 5sos is really truly a pop rock band. they play their instruments, do their thing and put on a show. they’re blind to the things that they do that make them seem hot. they don’t care, they just do them. they’re just finding their way and finding their sound and anyone that compares them to 1d doesn’t know what they’re talking about