fat-sexuality

Researcher Looking for Self-Identified Fat Young Adults of Color

Fat studies researcher looking to pay $10 to self-identified fat young adults of color for interviews on fat identity, sexuality, race, and the Internet.

Hello everyone!

My name is Philippe Fradet and I am a graduate student at San Francisco State University in the Sexuality Studies program. I am seeking participants for a study with self-identified fat young adults of color who currently live in the United States. I’m looking to interview people of any gender and sexual identity, of any socioeconomic background, and of any physical and mental ability status. Interviews in this study will focus on four topics:
· fat identity, including self-acceptance and personal histories;
· sexuality, including sexual identity, sexual practices, and sexuality as a fat individual;
· race, including the interactions of race, fat identity, and sexuality;
· and the Internet, including how the Internet is used to build community and support.

If you are interested in participating in this research or if you have any questions, you can contact me either by email at pfradet@mail.sfsu.edu or by sending me an “ask” or “submission” on my Tumblr (fatdisid.tumblr.com) with your Tumblr account.

When you contact me, please let me know a bit about yourself and your interest in the project. In order to participate in this study, you must identify as a fat person of color and be between the ages of 18 and 25. Participants will be given a $10 gift card to Amazon.com for participating in the project. All interviews will be conducted using the voice chatting or phone call features of Skype, which means anyone in the United States is welcome to participate. Your name and participation in the project will be kept confidential, and you can contact me with any questions. I will be posting any pressing questions about the project on this blog.

Thank you for your interest!

 

Philippe Fradet
Master’s Candidate
Sexuality Studies Department
San Francisco State University
fatdisid.tumblr.com
fatdisid@gmail.com
(415) 799-7109

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Every Thursday we run a feature on Chubstr called Answerland. It’s basically a way for us to answer some of the questions we get from readers on a regular basis. The questions we get cover everything from food to fashion to sex. 

Last year, the amazing Hanne Blank asked me to write a blurb for the revised edition of her book, Big Big Love. If you’ve got questions about love, sex, or intimacy as it relates to being a person of size, I definitely recommend this book. You’d be hard pressed to come up with a question that isn’t somehow addressed within its pages. Learn more about the book at Chubstr, and follow Hanne on Twitter

So like, I’m fine at playing along with the “girl talk” and whatever you call that when you’re all “OMG I would soooo do him. He’s fucking HOTTT” but then when we’re being real with how and who I’m attracted to it’s different because I feel like I have to really know someone and connect with them before I can really develop any romantic/sexual feelings. And then this leaves me in the awkward pool of being super confused because I can’t tell if I’m trying to befriend someone, or if I’m crushing on them.

Then there’s the awkwardness of last night where I may have had someone outwardly say they were flirting with me. But it was a joke. And idk. I’m usually the type to be like HAHAHA NO LIKES ME EVER so I don’t even think it’s possible. And on one hand, maybe I’m leading them on (though things felt awkward when I left, so that may be done) and on the other hand, maybe I want to lead them on because I’m attracted to them (but I don’t know if I can and I don’t want to be an asshole).

For basically all my life I’ve never had crushes returned so the idea that maybe, just maybe, I’m not completely delusional is putting me in a weird state.

i wish bi/pan kids had a cute appellation like gay or lesbian to describe their identity without a big fat “-sexual” suffix hanging off the end. ten-year-olds are not sexual beings and need to be able to express their identity without implying that they are.

[photo // post]

[[ Image Description: A photo featuring a tiger passing through tendrils from an overhead plant, its mouth hanging open as if shocked, with a post on it by user crybabydyke.

The post reads: “Fat woman: *exists*
Man #1: you are disgusting and unfuckable, therefore worthless
Man #2: not so fast. she is not totally worthless. I would fuck her #bodyposi #feminism” ]]

pandabearshape.wordpress.com
NYMPHOMANIAC (2014, DIR. LARS VON TRIER); CONCUSSION (2013, DIR. STACIE PASSON)

[CW diet talk, discussion of consensual sex]

Two recent films, Nymphomaniac and Concussion, spend ample time exploring the marginalized sexualities of their (thin) female protagonists. Joe (Charlotte Gainsboug/Stacy Martin), the titular character of von Trier’s epic, labels herself as a nymphomaniac and constructs her life around her insatiable libido; Abby (Robin Weigert), the heroine of Passon’s directorial debut, is a lesbian who subverts her life as a mainstream upper middle-class homemaker by involving herself in sex work. Both women have fat sex partners over the course of their respective stories, neither of whom function as a source of comedy or disgust.

to be clear, yes a while ago i was ranting about my frustrations with an “asexual sadie” post. i want to clear up that it was about a SPECIFIC person who was literally making (serious) posts that asexual sadie was the only thing sadie could be. this specific person literally IGNORES every canon fat girl character in everything if she is mean, yet has to make every quirky nice girl fat in her drawings (and by fat i mean no belly, big thighs and big boobs) and acts so fat activist. this specific person was saying these things despite not actually caring about sadie (or larsadie as the context was about island adventure) and was saying these things SPECIFICALLY to be shady to my friends talking about larsadie as a whole. the whole thing that was pissing me off was this WHY CANT YOU EVER LET A FAT GIRL BE SEXUAL because they always want them innocent! blushing! sweet! shy! and it was really fucking obvious.

the situation was very specific and i got really pissed off and should have clarified how specific it was in my original post, i still fucking SEE people actually exaggerating what i said (it wasnt even who the post says it was about, it was someone else holy shit) and acting like i was bullying someone when it was kind of a personal rant?? again should have clarified but whatever

just wish people could butt their noses out of things theyre not involved with like, there was a lot of abusive behaviors going on between these people and my friends and it was bothering me SO fucking much so it all boiled up

ugh whatever thats all i have to say

anonymous asked:

I know you're not feeling well now, and that even if you did feel well, you might not want to or be able to respond, so if I don't get a response, I understand why and won't be upset. I wanted to ask, though, if you have advice for seeing a gynecologist when you're fat, have sexual trauma, and are continually talked to like a child and treated badly by doctors because you're cognitively disabled? How can I make sure I find a gynecologist who's respectful and safe?

Oh geez.  I have no idea. 

I got my last gynecologist because I had a friend who recommended her as amazing.  Then she retired and now I’m still looking for one (as in, I’m unsure whether to remain with her successor at her practice or whether to try and find a new one, especially after some stuff that happened with billing that was really screwed up and has left me in permanent debt), and kind of freaked out about the whole thing. 

There’s a Planned Parenthood within walking distance of me, I’ve thought of going there out of convenience, but I don’t know how respectful they’d be.  I have a horrible time with gynecological exams, and sometimes have had to go under anesthesia for procedures that don’t normally require it, so… yeah.  I have no idea how to find someone respectful, and right now I’m right in the middle of that problem myself. 

It might be possible to interview different doctors and see which one would be a good fit before consenting to any exams, but that could also prove impossibly expensive if insurance wasn’t covering the visits (which they might not if no exam was taking place, I don’t know a lot about things like that). 

So the short answer is:  I wish I knew.  Myself – I’m fat, hairy (which always comes up with gyns as a “holy crap are your hormones okay!?!!” thing), genderless, a sexual abuse survivor, and cognitively disabled myself, as well as having what seem to be physical issues that make exams excruciatingly painful (like I can handle a nerve block in my face without flinching but I can’t handle a speculum without screaming my head off, it feels as if they’re tearing flesh, and even if they knock me out first it’s excruciatingly painful when I wake up so their constant idea that I must be tensing the muscles is probably wrong, unless I can tense muscles in my sleep).  And I don’t have periods since I was 28 or so (I’m turning 35 next month), so I need gyn care to avoid cancer (because of the particular causes of this for me), plus I really do have pituitary problems (including severe adrenal insufficiency) that might be contributing to some of this.  And all of those things have made gynecological stuff really difficult.  I didn’t even start getting exams until a later age than I should have, because of all that, and I can’t get the same kind of exams most people get, because of all that, and it’s a serious pain in the butt at minimum.

I’m posting this in case anyone knows this sort of thing better than I do.

anonymous asked:

I saw your post about hoping for diversity in lesbian couples and I just wanted to give you hope, I guess! I'm a half Asian, half white very femme girl. I've got that "bikini body" and get hit on all the time. My girlfriend is the only one I see, though. She's a "fat lesbian," and I mean she's huge. She's big on makeup and jewelry, but people only tend to see how fat she is. My baby just has more body that I get to make love to, her heart and body are bigger than anyone else, and she's perfect

I don’t know, I know it’s not intentional, but it sounds like you have some fatphobia and fetishization to work through, yourself. From the square quotes around “fat lesbian,” your off-color and rude “she’s huge” remark, and the sexualization of fatness with the “more body than I get to make love to.” I don’t know, personally, if a woman were to ever say these things about me, I’d be very uncomfortable and feel dehumanized. So really, you didn’t give me much hope at all. 

sanjuromartell asked:

Do you actually enjoy laughing at those?

It intrigues me why you enjoy being so fat. Albeit I sorta respect that position, as IMO the one benefit to being a fat fuck is being sexually invisible. I found when I was fat less men harass me. I kinda miss that power to be invisible. 

What Fat Activism is About

What it is about

  • Fighting for fat rights
  • Fighting to stop fatphobia
  • Showing big is beautiful in an none sexual way
  • Fat acceptance
  • Fat art ( to an extent)
  • Showning it is acceptible to be fat in public without being judged
  • That another persons size is nobody’s business but there own
  • That all bodies are good no matter how big or small

What it is not about!

  • Feederism
  • Fat fetishishim
  • Glorifying obesity
  • Fat porn
Is it the Food that I Love or the Self that I Hate?

Is it the Food that I Love or the Self that I Hate?

Part 4 of restaging the never-aging. Is it the food that I love or the self that I hate? For me it was not an uncontrollable love of food that made me fat. Truthfully, it was the only time in my life when I hated food. But at 21 I was fat and the fatter I got the more I ate. Eating was a divergence from the helplessness, the longing I felt after three-years of watching my father fade away and…

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One Tree Hill

So you’re probably looking at this and making fun of my outfit, right? Anyway here’s alll you really need to know about today; if… you’re fat, dumb, sexual and a guy, you’re OK. If you’re a girl, not so much. Please tell me that’s changed in the future. Somebody tell me you’ve got love figured out, because I got news for you; it’s pretty darn messy right now. But I guess it has always been that way. Wanting to be loved, to find somebody that makes your heart ache in a good way… feel understood. So… if you’re robots, or aliens, or something and you’re watching this right now and that feeling no longer exists; well… you missed it… and I feel sorry for you. ‘Cuz as far as I can tell, that’s what it’s all about. And that’s what I know it should be about.