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The night starts with a big, spicy Philly cheese steak. It’s about 6pm. I’ve been wanting to try the cheese steak from this corny, 50’s retro place for a long time. I gobble down the big greasy bowl of meat, hot sauce, and cheese, then head to the coffee shop for my weekly draw group. A little after I get home, about 10pm, a stomach ache comes on. “Damn, guess spicy foods are out.” I’ve been getting stomach aches every time I have spicy Thai or hot wings. I google search about spice pain- possible stomach ulcer? “I guess I have been stressed lately, but no more than usual I don’t think…” File under “Will investigate further later.“ According to the comments on this health website, a glass of milk will help. Gulp one down, go to bed.

Wrestle to sleep for about an hour. Realize the ache is just over the required pain threshold to keep you from sleeping. Do some work on my comic, more tired, but stomach worse. Will play batman until I fall asleep. I feel like I’m just running in circles… How many times have I failed this mission? Batman, batman, stomach now hurts too bad to enjoy an active task like video games. Deliriously tired. Would be great to sleep through the rest of this abdominal temper tantrum. Try the old “hot shower will make you sleep” trick. Take some Pepto-Bismol, and some generic acetaminophen. Out of the shower, hurts to walk around now, and to lie down. Guess I’ll have to wait it out with my eyes open. Call and leave my Doc a message, maybe will get a spot in there tomorrow. Need to get that ulcer discovered… Time to enjoy a passive task like watching TV. Breaking Bad feels like the right mixture of funny and painful, just like me and my burning spice belly. Damn, I can’t even enjoy that part where during Hank’s interrogation of that meth head, Wendy, she accuses Hank of trying to buy sexual services from her on behalf of an underage “football player” (a misunderstanding involving Walter Jr. from a few episodes before). Oh hell. Time to look up what time emergency medical clinics open. Guess I’ll have to pay out of pocket since I can’t wait for my Doc tomorrow.  It’s about 4am now. Earliest clinic opens at 8. Now hungry again, but can’t eat what with all the pain. One hour down. Man, this is really starting to hurt. Can I really wait 3 more hours? Sitting is starting to hurt as much as lying and standing. And I’m still not enjoying TV. Okay, I’ve come to a decision…. 

“Hey, Kayla, my stomach still hurts, I’m thinking about driving to the ER, do you wanna come?” “Oh! Ya, sure. What time is it?” “It’s 5:30”. I  call the hospital “Hey, I’ve had a pretty bad stomach ache all night, I’m thinking of coming by.” Operator: *long pause* “Haha, well, okay! We’re open all night, so just come on in.” 

Driving with a stomach ache is not so bad, because you’re already hunched over. Wish Kayla could drive, but she doesn’t really know how, probably would have a panic attack and would definitely crash. Interesting that they have ER parking, I wonder how many ER patients drive themselves here… All bodily positions hurt my insides now, signing in to this place sucks. Give Kayla half the paperwork to fill out, glad she’s here, or this would be really boring. Man, they sure take a long time for someone trying to get into an empty emergency room… Signing in with a nurse, she ask me my height and I say “ ‘5’’8”, but I notice she puts down “ ‘5’’7”… They want to look at my pee, they always want to see my pee. I pee, no blood, so whatever that tells them means I’m getting an ultrasound first. Then a young nurse named Ken, a cool Asian dude with screws through both ears, squirts so much morphine into my IV that I lean back and audibly say “oh my god.” I feel it ripple like a shock wave from my arm down to the ends of my body. My belly is feeling alright now. 

The ultrasound technician tells me that babies are the least common thing she uses ultrasounds for. My joke has fallen flat. Back in the room, the doctor and his manila folder tell me “Good news! No gallstones, there are kidney stones inside your kidneys, but since they are inside, you shouldn’t be feeling the pain from those.” “Wait, does that mean I have to pee those stones out at some poin–” It is not discussed again. Seeing that neither organ has the appropriate stones, Doc would “rather not expose me to more radiation than necessary” and is working on discharging me. But, “I won’t leave here without a diagnosis.” 

In I go to the CT scan tube. That hot squish of contrast dye spreading through my veins. “Okay, we’re moving you into a room upstairs.” Says a hippy technician. Upstairs in my sweet and swanky single with couch, a person I’m pretty sure is just a businessman disguised in medical scrubs types on a computer. He takes down my answers to what seem like pre-surgery questions. “Do you have anybody specific on file in the event you are medically unable to yield consent  for yourself?” This, combined fact that they won’t feed me, makes me wonder what it is I’m going into surgery for. I saw this same thing about a year and a half ago with the whole brain debacle, but that’s a story for another time. Several medical people dip in, sprinkle breadcrumbs of information; it’s like a game show challenge that combines a scavenger hunt with a jigsaw puzzle. You have to gather the pieces of information from their hiding places, then assemble them in the correct order to reveal an answer. A tech comes in and spoils the game, “You seem to have a lot of questions, so I just want to make sure, you know you have appendicitis right? We’re about to take it out.” “Thank god,” I think. “It’s not the spicy foods. Spicy foods are still in.” Downstairs, in pre-op, I complain to my plain-clothes surgeon about how analog tests like pressing on my stomach are remarkably inaccurate, since a doctor’s subjective interpretation of my poor description of say, “the pain is slightly higher” can rule out appendicitis, the same appendicitis that a machine might spot an hour later. I tell him that I almost got sent home. My surgeon tells me he’s been doing analogue tests for 30 years, and not to worry about it. I start to tell him how “my deadpan reaction to pain also causes a lot of people to misdiagnose me, that a lot of people laugh when I describe how I’m in pai–”, but he walks away in the middle to get dressed for surgery. The operating room has big TVs and lights, it looks like a set, and I consider the possibility of fake hospitals as the anesthesia takes the wheel.

In the recovery area, the nurse tells me how big, inflamed appendixes can be agitated by spicy foods, foods high in fat, and dense foods like heavy cheese. I see an image of a spotlit cheese steak appear in a black void. Nurse feeds me ice chips and tells me she craves ice chips when she’s dehydrated. I suggest that she only craves ice chips because she works in a hospital, that ice chips are too unsatisfying a thing to crave at random, and that most people would just crave water. She agrees. Back upstairs in my room, it is now 8pm, and it has been 26 hours since I’ve eaten. I’ve been hydrated only through IV’s. The driest mouth and the clearest pee. Because the lingering anesthetic can cause nausea and vomiting, they will only give me jello. I go nuts on the jello. They continue to give me every jello I ask for, one at a time, like a test. Way past where I though the cutoff point would be, the nurse tells me “That’s it! There’s no more jello! You ate all the jello on this floor.” You’re damn right I did, you’re damn right….

Attention!

Part of your health and fitness journey should include becoming an informed consumer!

I recently received a message from an MLM seller pushing their wraps, teas, shakes, and pills to “help me lose weight” (as if I haven’t already figured this out at -170 lbs). I thought this was a great opportunity to remind everyone that there are very few instances where one needs to spend any money to achieve their health goals. The only “additive” I’ve purchased is my gym membership and that’s not even a requirement! It’s only helpful because of how I enjoy working out.

  • Superfood is a completely meaningless and made up marketing word. Common greens, fruits, nuts, seeds, oils, etc are as nutritious and often more nutritious than the hip, trendy foods grown in the loamy soils of Demeter’s mythical garden. If you can’t afford it, you don’t need to! The ingredients we’re already familiar with will provide you a balanced and healthful diet. 
  • As a horticulturist, I’ll be first to say that plants are beyond cool and can be beneficial medicines. BUT–be careful. Some plants do have promising health benefits (and many need more research), but there are outrageous claims out there; especially by predatory lifestyle brands in a notoriously unregulated supplement industry. Any herbal supplement should be discussed with your doctor and cannot replace your doctor’s expertise. No matter the effect they actually have on your body they are still compounds. Natural is not a synonym for inert.
  • Natural and its variants is also a meaningless marketing word. Natural is also not a synonym for healthy, just as is not a synonym for inert. 
  • Anyone selling you a wrap, a “fat blocker,” a “carb inhibitor,” a detox tea, an herbal tonic, or whatever is selling you snake oil. No one needs to buy a “product” to get healthy and fit.
  • Shots of apple cider vinegar is a really easy way to screw up your teeth and esophagus, and it won’t help you burn fat. 
  • Anything that promises to boost your metabolism is too minuscule to matter at best and completely made up at worst.
  • Your body already knows how to detox. It’s not dumb. Drink a glass of water and eat foods that keep you regular. Go for a walk and take a shit. Any detox product is just an expensive way to starve or induce a bout of diarrhea. 
  • A food manufacturer can claim there is “0g Trans Fat” as long as there is less than .5g. Turn the label to the ingredients. If there is “partially hydrogenated oil,” there is trans fat. 
  • A food manufacturer can slap “whole grain” on the label even if the first ingredient is “enriched bleached flour.” Read the ingredients on the loaves of bread and boxes of pasta you pick up. 
  • Read the label in general! Sugar and salt make appearances in strange places. Keep an eye out for added salt and sugar! Keep an eye out for bleached grains! Keep an eye out for trans fats!

Do your homework. Much of what entails food, health, fitness, and supplements are wildly unregulated. They can print whatever they want and there is little to stipulate what they can and cannot print. Be skeptical and examine if it’s really effective, safe, and beneficial to put a substance into your body.

A lot of headaches can be avoided if you do most of your shopping on the outside aisles and buy ingredients, but that doesn’t mean everything on the inside is crap! We all enjoy a branded product or two. There’s nothing wrong with that! There’s also nothing wrong with enjoying a bit of junk food every now and again, but it never hurts to be an informed consumer. There are good and honest products out there but there is certainly no shortage of companies trying to skim a dollar off people making an effort to do things a little bit better.

BTS Reaction to Their GF Finding Out About Their Erection

Incognito; my request for you is a bts reaction to their girlyfriend finding out about their erection??

Note: I totally forgot I made this a while back lmfao I crack myself up | REPOSTED *credit to gif owners*


Jin ➳ He felt it slowly spring to life while you two were watching a movie at the movie theaters. You were too engrossed with the movie to notice how uncomfortable he was sitting, and as he put the popcorn container on the floor, your hand instantly went to his lap to grab more—only for it to jab his clothed erection. He stiffened and you flamed red, looking to Jin wide eyed as he slowly turned to you only to stare you down. “Sh.” He whispered, and you nodded; quickly turning away while not being able to keep your focus on the movie anymore.

Originally posted by jungkookiescookies


Suga ➳ He was sitting on the couch while you glared at him, his fingers were holding the loops of your pants while he pulled you closer to him and had you sit down on his lap. You felt something poke the inside of your thigh, and you wriggled around to find that your suspicions may be true once Yoongi tried to stiffle a moan. You raised an eyebrow, staring at the man as he gave you a mischievous grin and as you quickly tried to get back up; he held you in place. “I-is that your-?”

“Yes, yes it is.” He said, nodding while he slowly leaned in before catching your lips in a soft kiss.

Originally posted by jeonsshi


J-Hope ➳ You two were laughing madly on the bed before going to sleep, finding a hilarious video online and watching it over and over again. It was sort of sexual, but you passed it off as something normal and apart of the joke. The only thing is, someone else took it seriously, having some thoughts slowly drown him in. You threw your phone on the bedside table, turning off the lamp while you still giggled about the video until you pulled yourself into Hoseok’s chest, feeling something poking at your torso. You looked up to him, eyebrows furrowed and he winked at you, a small smirk reaching his lip. “Do you still want to have fun?”

Originally posted by theseoks


RapMonster You were annoyed with how Namjoon kept squirming and being outright awkward while you two were at a family ball. You had enough when someone tried talking to him but he just plain out ignored them, so you grabbed his hand and took him somewhere quieter, looking to his pocket and seeing something bulging out. You became angrier, glaring at the confused man. “Really? So your fat ass was hiding food?” You snapped, quickly reaching in his pocket only to nearly rip off his clothed erection.

You froze, slowly looking up to the man who was flushed from embarrassment. “Oh dear god.” He murmured in pain and you just walked away, too petrified to face him.

Originally posted by namseok


Jimin You had both been watching Fifty Shades Darker, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the sudden atrocious scenes that had taken place in the movie. You turned to Jimin to see if he found the movie as hysterical as you did, but when you found him blushing madly and struggling to keep his breath normal, you glanced down to find the large bulge threatening to rip itself out from his sweats and make itself known. “Oh,” you whispered as you smirked sadistically, leaning towards Jimin who was mortified and looked away quickly in embarrassment, “you must really enjoy this movie, huh, Jiminie?”

Originally posted by aestheticvbts


➳ He was innocently sitting on a bench at the park while he waited for you to come back from a clothing store nearby. You saw him, and on instinct ran while throwing yourself onto his lap and he immediately threw his head back, a groan escaping his lips as he turned to glare at you. You instantly got off him, apologizing over and over but he was still in pain. “Really?” He spat, looking towards the softening covered bulge. “Not only do you frustrate me but you also get to hurt me?” You began to splutter, looking away in fright and he only grabbed your wrist, pulling you to him as he got your full attention. “It’s time to go home.”

Originally posted by jeuguk


Jungkook ➳ You both were outside during the night, staring towards the stars littering the dusky sky. The air was calm, and as you kept teasing Jungkook he couldn’t help but smile at how happy you made him, that was, until you stumbled a little and grabbed onto his jeans, ahem, his clothed member to keep your balance. Your eyes widened, quickly letting go as you wondered if whatever you had felt was really there and when Jungkook’s smile vanished as he stared at you expectantly—time froze. “We should go inside.” He suggested, and you gulped, agreeing with the man.

Originally posted by jengkook


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okay so @one-piece-of-harry posted something regarding kid!Tony being brought to the future and then being scared of adult Tony bc he looks like Howard and it immediately pierced my heart directly and so I had to write and share the pain. Have fun!


It was movie night.


This was normal. Movie night came around every Thursday, and involved the whole team gathering on one single couch in order to watch the weekly movie of choice. 

They were currently on Bruce’s turn. This meant Star Trek was playing, loud and clear through the sound-system as Clint complained, Thor reveled and Natasha called for more food.

This was normal. So Tony sighed, and then rolled off Steve’s lap in order to go on the popcorn round. “Two minutes,” he mumbled, as he got to his feet lethargically and stumbled out into the kitchen.

Steve watched him leave, a fond smile on his face. It was well into the early hours of the morning by this point, and so everyone was pretty dead on their feet, and yet still insistent upon finishing the second film.

This was normal.


A flash of blinding light, a crack like lightning and a high-pitched yell of fear were certainly not normal, however.


In the time it had taken for light to recede, all five of them had jumped to their feet instantly, weapons procured from places not previously believed to have been possible before. Steve and Thor instantly stepped forward- the biggest and most indestructible on the team acting as a barrier for the lesser protected members. 

Guns, hammers and shields drawn, they all pointed it steadily at the source of the noise, pinpointing it instantly and with a deadly accuracy.


A little boy stared back at them; his eyes criss-crossing as he stared at the barrel of the gun pointed at his nose.


“Oh,” Steve muttered, a little dumbstruck. So dumbstruck, in fact, that it took him another few seconds to realise he was still holding up a pistol to a child.

Dropping his hand immediately, he stumbled back, eyes wide. The boy was watching them all; hadn’t even moved a muscle or shown an ounce of emotion since his initial yell. He was just…standing there. His eyes observing all of them separately, cautiously.

“Who are you?” Clint asked eventually, trying to make his voice sound as non-threatening as possible.

The little boy just kept… watching. His hands were clenched into fists, and his knees were bent a little.

 “I just moved through space and time,” he declared eventually.

It was so bizarre; so completely impossible for a child of his age to say, that Steve knew immediately afterwards. “You’re called Tony Stark, aren’t you?” He said softly, unable to help the smile that crept up his face, because now he had connected it, the similarities were impossible to ignore. 

Tiny Tony stared at him, and for a second, outright contempt flashed across his features- an emotion that should really have been far too old for a boy of that age just then. “And you’re Captain America.”

“That I am,” Steve smiled, getting on to one knee so that he was level with Tiny Tony. “Listen, I know this is probably weird for you-”

“If this is a trick, or you’re going to use me as a ransom demand, then you’re out of luck. Howard Stark doesn’t pay ransom fees,” Tiny Tony spoke over Steve, his voice robotic and dull, like he’d been made to practice the words in a mirror a hundred times over.

“Not even for his own child?” Thor blurted in his usual booming manner- and for the first time since he’d landed there, Tiny Tony flinched.

Everyone noticed, despite Tiny Tony’s worryingly smooth transition back into neutrality. Thor look horrified, and took a step forward, hand outstretched, but Tiny Tony just reeled back from it. “Not even for his own child,” the boy snapped.

Steve stared, open-mouthed. That… that had been an awfully strong response.

“How old are you, Tony?” Bruce moved on effortlessly, stepping past Natasha and Clint in order to get to the little boy stood in front of them.

“Tell me who you are, first,” Tiny Tony argued, stepping back once again, “Prove to me that you are who you say you are, and that I have fallen what looks to be half a century into the future, rather than just kidnapped by a group of phonies.”

“See the mouth on him wasn’t a recent development, then,” Clint said, amused. 

“I save it especially for stupid people,” Tiny Tony retorted, and Steve bit back a laugh as clint gasped in offence and Natasha just nodded like that wasn’t any different from the Tony they knew now.

Bruce stepped forward again, undoubtedly ready to start explaining to Tiny Tony what had happened (Loki, probably- the room smelt faintly like his particular brand of magic), when there was a clatter of bowls and faint swearing from the other side of the room.

“Next time, I swear I’ll just invent a server bot to grab all this shit for me, I don’t have enough hands to carry the amount of food your fat asses require-”


Adult Tony stopped dead, looking at the circle of people stood around the tinier version of himself. The bowl of popcorn slipped out of the crook of his elbow entirely.


Steve opened his mouth to speak, hand going up and gesturing at Tiny Tony in greeting, before realising that the boy had… gone. He frowned, raising his eyes and looking around until spotting Tiny Tony again, this time a good few feet away from where he had been at the beginning.

What put Steve on edge, however, was the look on his face.

All that unnerving neutrality had vanished, and the tiny little boy had taken a full turn- eyes wide, face pale and hands visibly shaking as they fixed on Tony’s face. He continued to back away until his back hit the glass wall and he ran out of any more room.

“I didn’t know,” Tiny Tony blurted suddenly, looking in horror at Tony and shaking his head vigorously, “I din’t know you were doing an experiment, I thought someone had tried to take me again, I’m sorry, I didn’t know, I didn’t know,” he turned to Clint, lip wobbling, “I’m sorry I was rude, Mr, I thought you were a bad guy-”

“Hey hey hey, Tony, calm down, it’s okay,” Steve frowned, taking a step forward in an attempt to reach out to Tiny Tony, only to watch in shock as the boy jerked to the other side, eyes searching for an exit.

“I didn’t… I’m sorry, please don’t be mad,I swear I wasn’t trying to interrupt or anything,” he whispered to Adult Tony again, and his eyes were actually fucking tearing up, Steve had no idea what was going on, none of them did, things had just spiraled out of control so quickly-


“I’m not Howard,” Steve’s Tony called out across the room. He was quiet- uncharacteristically so, and looking at the young boy with something Steve couldn’t read. “I’m not Howard,” he said again, stronger this time.

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Inflation after a big belly stuffing [ Full video ]

This was my first time trying to inflate after a stuffing, I was way too confident. It was a lot tighter then I expected on my belly so I stopped after filming after a while. I decided to not continue and try it again a next time. I always have a of unused footage lying around which I’ll post on YouTube ( MariaPhilia ).

It’s not a lot but it’s still a way of saying thank you to all who have supported me over this year.


xxx

Maria

when it melts 01 (m)

Jungkook x Reader, enemies to lovers au

Genre: Smut, Angst

Warnings: light bondage???

Word count: 6.1k

Summary:Six months ago, you had envisioned spending the month of June on the sandy shores of a tropical beach, wearing out the soles of your shoes and the lens of your camera exploring the bustling cities of Europe. Anything besides what you were doing right now; moving back to your hometown and scooping ice cream at your old high school job for the summer. But when you meet Jeon Jungkook, you discover that ice cream isn’t the only thing cool enough to fend off the summer heat.

A/N: unedited. happy national ice cream day. also i wrote the end like an hour ago i’ll go back and fix it later

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