fat white kid

I realize

that if the worst problem you have is that you have to get up from your tumbling to go get ready for a school fundraising party wherein a whole bunch of suburban moms start out talking about their kids’ extracurricular activities but then get turnt af on $11-a-bottle chardonnay and end up dancing like a pack of assholes to the kind of music I only hear at the gym, that you’re doing all right, but – godDAMN do I not want to go to there. I have to 1) put on makeup, 2) pretend I give an airborne fuck about soccer vs. gymnastics vs. hockey or whatever else these fuckin people do with their time, and 3) not spiral about XF s11, my Special Feelings about GA, and/or the amount of space Gillovny takes up in my brain. Send me good vibes, y’all … I need your strength to tuck into my party clutch alongside my lip-plumping gloss.

anonymous asked:

Excuse me sir, but wouldn't you agree that all lives matter? Not just black lives, but every life. I am a proud African American man, but I think all lives matter. I want all white people to be able to eat spicy food without being afraid. I say we put burn clinics in every neighborhood across America because all lives matter. I am definitely not a pasty fat white kid sitting at home on a Friday afternoon, I am a proud African American standing up for equal rights. God bless you.

this is a black person pretending to be a white person pretending to be a black person,

amazing.