fat professor*

  • (After finding out his last name, George and Harold decide to pull a prank on Professor Poopypants before class begins.)
  • Harold: Hey, Professor P! Good to see you, man! Listen, you know, I really think you should say, "Yo caca mis pantalones!" It means, "Everyone, it's time for class to begin!" I think everyone will really like it!
  • Professor Poopypants: Yo caca mis pantalones?
  • Harold: That's good, very good! You got it!
  • Professor Poopypants: I'm not falling for that!
  • Harold: What?
  • Professor Poopypants: Yeah, "What?" George!
  • (George walks up to Professor Poopypants.)
  • Professor Poopypants: How do you say, "Everyone, it's time for class to begin?"
  • George: Yo caca mis pantalones.
  • (George and Harold take their seats, and Professor Poopypants addresses the class.)
  • Professor Poopypants: Boys and girls! Yo caca mis pantalones! [Translation: I pooped my pants!]
  • (All the children laugh at Professor Poopypants. )
Today in fandoms: October 31st
  • 1981: Voldemort attacks James and Lily Potter in their house, but fails to kill their son Harry Potter and is instead defeated by the magic protecting him. Thus, the First Wizarding War ends.
  • 1991: Harry Potter and Ron Weasley save Hermione Granger from a Mountain Troll in the girl’s bathroom, released by Professor Quirrell as a diversion as he attempts to steal the Philosopher’s Stone. This event signals the start of their life-long friendship.
  • 1992: Sir Nicholas celebrates his 500th death day with Harry, Ron, and Hermione in attendance. Ginny Weasley, under the influence of Tom Riddle’s diary, opens the Chamber of Secrets and Filch’s cat Mrs. Norris is petrified by the basilisk.
  • 1993: Sirius Black enters Hogwarts Castle and attacks the Fat Lady.
  • 1994: The Goblet of Fire chooses Cedric Diggory, Fleur Delacour, and Viktor Krum as its Champions. However, Harry Potter is also announced as the unexpected fourth champion to mixed reactions from his peers.

75. The Fat Friar sets up revision classes to help worried Hufflepuffs get through their exams. While he is knowledgable in most subjects, he pays particular attention to helping students with History of Magic because he knows how dull Professor Binns can be.

submitted by anonymous

Professor Rae

Hey guys! First and foremost, I want to thank you all so much for the amazing things you had to say about Yeses. I was surprised and stunned and delighted. I got so many messages and wonderful comments, I was pretty much in (happy) tears for days. Thank you, thank you, thank you! It means the world to me. Being part of this fandom full of kind and encouraging and wonderful and intelligent women has been very transformative for me, and I owe so much to you guys. You’ve given me so much.

Secondly, I think this is the last of the prompts I’m going to do for a while. I ran out of steam. So, sorry if I didn’t get to yours. I’m going to hang on to them and maybe go back at some later date.

Thank you, dear madfatty for talking me through this, what, like six times? And then making it shiny and fit for consumption. Talk about people who’ve given me things! You’ve done so much for me, I can’t even say. Much love!

And finally, thank you to the prompter! I really loved this idea, though it didn’t pan out quite as I had intended. It was a lovely AU to inhabit, and a chance to try out some new things- first person and an Archie POV. I hope you like it.


Finn’s definitely drunk. He’s on his fourth pint already, plus two rounds of shots, and we haven’t even been here two hours. He’s smiling and laughing though, which has been rare enough over the last couple of weeks, and it’s so nice to see him that way that I don’t say anything as Chop places yet another glass of beer in front of him. I resolve to just watch him carefully for signs that he’s falling into mopey drunkenness.

“I can’t believe I fuckin’ made it, Arch! It was a close fucking call this time.” He says, leaning towards me and squinting as he talks. I bite back a smile. As soon as he gets a couple of drinks in him, it’s all fucks, all night.

“I know, mate! I’m proud of you for sticking it out. I told you you were bloody smart, you arse.” I laugh, clapping him on the shoulder.

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Sarah on feminism, racism, white privilege, marginalization, learning about asexuality, fat positivity, her professor that is trans etc.