fat evan

Tendons and bursa of index finger

The tendons of the hand wrap very close to the bones of the fingers, and the loss of subcutaneous fat is the primary reason that the fingers of the elderly, moribund, and chronically ill appear so bony, yet don’t seem to lose much of their strength.

My grandma once ripped out a 3″ x 0.5″ splinter lodged more than two inches in the sole of my foot after my mom, dad, and forest fire-fighter uncle failed to anything other than make it scoot to the side. Her hands were absolutely skeletal. Don’t underestimate those bone-hands.

Atlas of Applied (Topographical) Human Anatomy. J. Howell Evans, 1906.

anonymous asked:

Hi josh, i really need some help, would you suggest some music to play in the background during a wedding dinner? I am thinking of some jazz

YAS JAZZ

there’s literally jazz for every different kind of occasion, and tbh i think an ideal wedding would just have jazz in the background all night, as Baudelaire described, “swirling in the evening air.”

here are some recommendations off the top of my head for great wedding night jazz (all links are to YouTube, but I think they’re all also on Spotify), in no particular order:

Some Other Time - Bill Evans (specifically the version on the reissue of his ‘58 album)

The Very Thought Of You - Billie Holiday

Mean to Me - Bill Harris

That Ole Devil Called Love - Billie Holiday

My Old Flame - Charlie Parker

I Wonder - Louis Armstrong

Ain’t Misbehavin’ - Fats Waller (can you imagine having him play this live?!)

Cheek to Cheek - Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong

Almost Blue - Chet Baker

Easy Living - Billie Holiday

It Never Entered My Mind - Miles Davis Quintet

If You Were Mine - Billie Holiday

Happy birthday, Emus! 🎂

Originally posted by girl-that-no-one-knows

🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂 …..BIRTHDAY CAKE*!!!!!

It’s been a busy week for birthdays - today’s the day for the sensational @endemictoearth! Shawna, have a wonderful day, and thank you for all the amazing fics and your continued curation of @mmfdfanfic.

Also celebrating this week: Ana @ch1darkcy 🖌, Erin @14000romances / @u2bibliophile 📚, and Sara @ducky17 🐥; as well as MMFD stars Darren Evans (currently on a birthday cruise with his bestie) ⛴ and Ciara Baxendale @makeshiftginge 👱! You are all WORLD CLASS.

* (and vodka!)

Corset (Evan Hansen x Reader)

AN; Chubby reader! I feel like I wrote the beginning based off of how I feel about myself? I have never worn a corset, though.

WC; 1,635

TW; insecure reader, crying

Request: if you have time, pls do an evan x chubby reader where she’s super insecure and he just loves her and the squish… and everyone is friends and all love and support each other HNNNGG i love your writing !! :)


You slid on a baggy sweatshirt and pushed the sleeves up, sighing deeply. You glanced at yourself in the mirror, looking at your thick thighs and chubby face. You ripped the sweatshirt off, frustrated tears gathering at your eyes. You paced for a minute, not letting the tears fall. You ended up stopping in front of the mirror and looking at your shirtless torso. You raised your hand gently, running your finger across a stretch mark on your stomach. You looked at your chest, seeing fading stretch marks and new stretch marks on your breasts as well. You crossed your arms, thinking about what you could wear. A single tear fell, but the rest refused to fall.

Your face lit up slightly, and you stumbled over to your underwear drawer. You slid it open and dug your hand into the back, slowly pulling out a tight corset. You shuffled back to the mirror and gently wrapped it around your stomach. You took a deep breath and clipped it as tight as it would go. You slid on a tank top over it, and then a slightly loose t-shirt. You turned sideways in the mirror and looked at your figure, a frown still on your face. Nothing was good enough for you.

You shook your head and walked out of your room, into the kitchen and then outside to your front steps. You sat down, setting your backpack right next to you. You sat there for a few minutes, waiting for your friends and boyfriend to come pick you up. It was sunny, and you were sweating in your (jeans/leggings). You refused to wear shorts in school, because you felt like everybody would stare at the way your legs jiggle when you walk. Not even Evan has seen you in shorts.

A packed car pulled up, and you heard someone shouting for you to hop in. You stood up and approached Zoe’s convertible, slowing down when you noticed Alana decided to ride with you guys today. That meant you were going to have to sit on Evan’s lap.

“Ohohoh, this is great! Sit on Evan, (Y/n)!” Jared cried, a huge smile on his face. Jared was squished in the middle back seat, between Connor and Evan. Alana and Zoe were in the front together, giggling.

“You can- you can.. S-Sit on my lap. O-Only if you’re comfortable! You-You don’t have to!” Evan squeaked, his face bright red.

You shuffled, unable to think of an excuse to get out of it. You hesitantly stepped forward and climbed in, gently setting yourself on Evan’s lap. Everyone was giggling, and your face was bright red. You were tense and making sure you were holding yourself up so you didn’t have to put your full weight on Evan.

You felt Evan hesitantly wrap his arms around your waist, his hands hooking together in your lap. Your face was bright red as Evan gently pulled you into his chest, resting his head on your shoulder. The move was bold for Evan, and it was enough to make you die inside. He was so cute, but you were afraid you were crushing him.

Your friends returned to singing and talking after they had giggled and teased a bit. Evan rested on of his hands on your side, and you could almost tell he was confused. He gently rubbed up and down your side for a second, then whispered to you.

“What are you wearing under your shirt?” Evan turned red. “I didn’t m-mean that in a w-weird way.”

You shook your head, gently taking his hand off your side and holding it in your hands.

“It’s not a big deal, Evan.” You mumbled, looking at his hands.

“Is it a corset?” Evan blurted, making everyone glance at you two.

“A corset?” Alana said, turning to look at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“Why would you need one of those?” Zoe questioned, glancing at you in the rear view mirror. Jared was going to make a comment but decided against it. He had known you the longest, and he had remembered walking in on you crying in a tank top in your room once. You were in a ball in front of your mirror, and you had told him about every insecurity you’ve ever had.

Connor was looking at you with sympathetic and slightly mad eyes. He couldn’t believe you felt like you needed one. He knew how it felt to be insecure, and it was a horrible feeling. Everyone in the car knew that feeling.

“I-I, uhm, it’s- yeah, it’s a cor-corset.” You said nervously, glancing at your hands.

“(Y/n)..” Evan sighed, hugging you closely. It was quiet for the next minute, the radio playing quietly in the background. Zoe pulled the car up to the school and parked, turning it off.

You all climbed out of the car one after the other, awkwardly smiling. The bell rang, and you all said your goodbyes.

Evan walked you to your class like he always did, but this time he was very touchy. He held onto your waist as you both walked, and he was pressed into your side. When you arrived to your classroom he kissed you.

“Hey, I have something for you after school. Is it okay if I come over after school and give it to you?” Evan said, pushing your hair behind your ear gently.

“Y-Yeah, of course. I’ll see you then.” You mumbled, blushing.


You had taken the bus home to avoid any awkward conversations in the car. You had sat with your old friends Michael and Jeremy so you weren’t alone. You ruffled Jeremy’s hair and gently hit Michael on the back of the head as you got off the bus, earning a yell and laugh from each.

You walked up the steps with a smile, entering your house quietly.

“Hey, hun’, how was school?” Your dad called out, looking up from his newspaper.

“It was alright.” You said, heading upstairs towards your room.

“Hey, I’m heading out in a few minutes, okay?” Your dad called out, hearing an okay from you.

You ripped your shirt off when you got into your room. You struggled to unclip the corset, so you just gave up and laid down on your bed. You had heard your dad yell goodbye and drive away. You stared at your ceiling while completely zoning out. There was a faint knock at your door and you slowly got up to answer, forgetting you were in your bra and corset.

“Oh, hey Evan.” You smiled halfheartedly, letting him come in.

“Y-Your- um, corset? I- Uh..” Evan stuttered, diverting his eyes away from you.

“Oh,” You mumbled. “I couldn’t get it off.”

Evan glanced at you, an odd sadness in his eyes.

“I can, uh, help you take it off?” He mumbled, keeping his eyes locked with yours. You nodded and stepped towards him, your face red.

He hesitantly raised his hands to the clips and started to slowly undo them, his face redder than a tomato. He let the corset fall to the ground, and you immediately wrapped your arms around your body insecurely.

Evan’s eyes were wide as he looked at you. He dropped a bag you hadn’t even realized he was holding.

“You’re-You’re..” Evan began.

“Fat, chubby, gross?” You snapped, small tears gathering in your eyes.

“No, no, my god, no. You’re gorgeous, you’re so gorgeous.” Evan said, stepping forward and hugged you. He wouldn’t let you know but he could cry right now. He didn’t know that was how you felt about yourself.

“But-but I have stretch marks and-and..” You stuttered, the tears falling slowly.

“Everything has flaws, (Y/n).” Evan whispered into your hair. “Our flaws make us unique, these beautiful unique people. Words fail when it comes to describing how gorgeous you are.”

You sniffled, hugging Evan. “I love you so much, Evan.” You whispered.

“I love you too. I also have something for you.” Evan gently pulled away from the hug and wiped your tears, smiling at you. Evan bent down and pulled a (fav color) dress from the bag.

“I saw this and thought of you. I could only imagine how cute you would look in it.” He gently handed you the dress and you unfolded it, seeing it was a knee high, sleeveless, (fav color) lace dress. You thought it was a cute dress, but you didn’t know if it’d look good on you. You were also slightly embarrassed Evan knew your clothing sizes.

“Here, I’ll help you.” Evan seemed to loose a lot of his anxiety when he was alone with you. He stepped forward and helped you slip it on gently. He walked around to your back and zipped it carefully. He spun you around so you could see yourself in the mirror.

“So?” Evan smiled sheepishly, wrapping his arms around you and setting his head on your shoulder.

“It’s beautiful. I’m beautiful.” You whispered, resting your hands on top of Evan’s.

“I told you, you were beautiful.” Evan pressed a kiss to your cheek.


deh pets headcanon

ok so i made another headcanon before about phones and things they would all have and mentioned that evan would probably have a dog. so then naturally i just started thinking about all of them which resulted in this. another warning that it’s midnight and im half dead soooo yeah enjoy??? 


jared:

  • he would be the kid that BEGGED until his parents got him whatever animal he wanted
  • like he has a lot of pets idk
  • the first thing that comes to my mind is a bird
  • and i’m not talking like a cute little parakeet
  • im talking like an annoying ass huge bird
  • like they used to keep it in the house but it was just,,,, , so loud
  • so now they keep it in the shed
  • (don’t worry he takes great care of the bird even tho it’s in the shed)
  • i keep picturing a parrot
  • is that even llegal? idk 
  • don’t ask me
  • the bird’s  name would either be like something he named when he was little like “rainbow”
  • or it would be literally just meme
  • like
  • the bird’s name would be meme
  • there is no in between don’t fight me on this
  • he would also have a guniea pig named something really stupid too
  • idk what it would be probably dat boi or another old meme 
  • but he would love that freaking thing
  • he would like constantly hold it or like carry it around his house
  • or he would show up at evan’s house holding it and evan would be like “what why”
  • and he would be like “oh yeah. this is dat boi and he’s coming inside with me”
  • he wouldn’t have a dog tho
  • they probably had one when he was little but it passed away and they didn’t think anything could be better than that dog
  • aw now i’m sad
  • maybe he would have a hamster at one point too but it would like probably get annoying and he would give it to connor
  • oh thats another thing for later
  • long story short jared loves animals

connor:

  • connor would probably be like “i hate all animals. i hate everything. angst blah blah blah
  • but jared one day just showed up with a hamster like “just tAKE IT”
  • and then left
  • so he was like uhh okay
  • and he ended up becoming secretley obsessed with this hamster
  • like when he was feeling really angry and about to freak out he would just watch it run on it’s little wheel and it would calm him down
  • he wouldn’t name it because “he didn’t want to get too attached” 
  • (he was so attached. he loved it.)
  • he would buy so much stuff for it
  • like he would come home with bags and bags of little tubes for it to run in or a bunch of different wheels to try out 
  • his mom would be like “connor what is that” and he’d be like “nOTHING”
  • it would be a hamster mansion
  • p.s. zoe wouldn’t know about the hamster
  • she would be completley oblivious somehow
  • his parents did tho and didn’t really care
  • evan was the only person that knew about the hamster other than that
  • and he loved that thing so much
  • like whenever him and connor would hang out he would just be constantly holding it
  • evan probably named it in his head but never really says it out loud 
  • and one day he lets it slip
  • like
  • “aw can we take out hammy?”
  • and connor’s like “whatthefuck”
  • and evan gets all nervous and stuttering 
  • but they eventually just start calling it hammy
  • it would be a really tan almost orange looking hamster btw
  • and it’d probably be really fat because evan likes to give him treats
  • side note: the only other animal connor would like is evan’s dog which i will talk about later

alana:

  • alana would always love animals but she never really acted on it much
  • like she would know anything and everything about animals but would never really vocalize it 
  • until one day zoe starts talking about how she likes animals
  • then she just goes crazy
  • like she’s a Certifed Animal Lover™
  • but anyway
  • I feel like she would have a little dog
  • like not a chuiwawwawawaw i gave up on spelling that rip
  • but like a little rescue dog
  • it would probably look like a puggle 
  • and while she’s doing homework the dog would just like sit in her lap
  • (if u haven’t already noticed this is heavily based on how kristolyn lloyd mentioned alana having a dog or something with her on stage and tbh i agreed hard core)
  • this dog would be so freaking spoiled
  • like im talking huge beds made for golden retrievers 
  • purple sparkly collars and harnesses and clothes (the dog’s color would be purple. dont fight me on this) (wow i can’t believe i just gave a dog a favorite color rip)
  • she would make it wear shoes sometimes and take funny videos to post on her instagram
  • this dog would have the most extra name of all time
  • like Persephone or athena or some goddess name 
  • i didn’t include this in the other hc but she would DEF have a vlog channel
  • and she would be like “hey guys! this is alana and dionysus (yes i just googled that im sorry) and welcome to todays video!”
  • either that or she would have a guinea pig
  • but i more see her with a dog
  • she would love that dog so much

zoe:

  • golden retriever. for sure.
  • she would be the kid who BEGGED their parents for a dog for years and years
  • like every school essay would be about why she should get a dog
  • and she would like tape dog pictures to the fridge and on her notebooks at school
  • she would be s’cute
  • but when she got into high school her parents expected it to kind of drop off
  • but no
  • not at all
  • she only wrote more essays about why she should get this dog
  • and they were still like “mehhh no”
  • (actually cynthia would be fine with it but larry would be like hell no hell no hell no)
  • so the day she turned eighteen she was like “screw this im an Adult™ now”
  • and just went out and got a dog
  • and when she came back home with it everyone was like “what have you done”
  • and she just shrugs and is like “i’m an adult now i get to do what i want”
  • and nobody really says anything after that
  • she loves that dog so much
  • it would be a girl named kiwi
  • or something weird but adorable like that
  • and she would sneak it into school sometimes 
  • she would totally get caught but it would be worth it to her
  • she only did that when the dog was a puppy tho
  • when kiwi got big she loved her even more
  • omg this dog would know so many tricks
  • like im not talking “sit” and “roll over”
  • (but obvi she would know those)
  • im talking like dance and jump and speak and play dead
  • that dog would be so smart
  • zoe would work really hard to train her tho
  • she would try to bring her everywhere
  • like when all of them would hang out she would make the plans around wherever place was dog friendly ya know
  • her parents would be like “no dog on the bed!1!1!”
  • but no
  • i mean the dog would obviously have a dog bed 
  • (and it would be damn comfy tbh)
  •  but she would always sleep in zoe’s bed
  • not at her feet but like right up on top of the pillow like she’s a human
  • ok I’ve gotta stop now time for evan handsoap

evan:

  • i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: i love evan so much okay
  • just a reminder
  • anywho
  • evan would never really be the type to beg for a dog
  • but heidi got one for him at the beginning of senior year just bc she thought it would be good for him
  • (she tries so hard i love her too)
  • and at first he was like “oh ok hi dog”
  • but then he’s like “ohmygod i love u”
  • it’s def a dachshund/wiener dog don’t fight me on this i know it’s a thing
  • he would name it bonsai 
  • i know he would
  • my hear is melting just thinking about this s end he lp
  • but he would love that thing so much
  • he would love taking hikes or little nature walks with her
  • (the dog would be a girl btw idk how i know this i just do)
  • and the dog would be very fit
  • like she would never be fat
  • she wouldn’t know very many tricks
  • like  only sit and high five
  • but it’s ok she’s an angel
  • she’s probably  like very light tan almost blonde (if u google a pic of a light tan weiner dog you’ll see what I mean they’re so cute I cant)
  • and when he’s anxious she can always tell
  • so she goes up to him and just like sits next to him and kinda whines bc she’s worried?? idk you know what i mean
  • but at night she sleeps curled up into evan’s side
  • like wiener dogs when they sleep literally curl into a little burrito 
  • she does that
  • it’s so cute
  • when connor stays over the dog sleeps between them
  • oh yeah
  • that’s the only dog connor likes
  • like he hard core loves that dog
  • when he sees her he uses this high pitched baby voice
  • you know the one im talking about
  • it’s adorable
  • evan thinks it’s the best thing he’s ever heard actually
  • he loves that connor loves his dog
  • i just thought of this but what if it was a therapy dog
  • like he could bring it to school when he had really bad days
  • and she would be v friendly and love people
  • and in class when he got anxious he would just stick his hand down and pet his dog
  • (if u can’t already tell idk how service/therapy dogs work someone educate me)
  • he wouldn’t bring her with him a lot
  • bc people would want to pet her and he would get all flustered
  • and once he got kicked out of a store because the worker thought he just brought in a dog and evan was too nervous to explain that it was his therapy dog
  • poor boyo
  • but zoe and alana and connor and jared would BEG him to because they all love her
  • so when they got ice cream at a la mode he would always bring bonsai just to make them shut up
  • and the employees there know bonsai and always give them a free vinalla cone for her
  • ah i just love the idea of him having a dog
6

Dear Diary… That’s the secret, I reckon. You don’t need fixed ideas about who you are or where you’re headed. You don’t need offers or grades or stamps of approval. You just need to be ready to cope with whatever crap comes your way. And as for all the crazy shit: the mental screw-ups and the madness… Well, that’s mine, Dear Diary. I get to keep that. That travels with me.