Let’s start a new list! Here are some of the best parts of the original post by @thefatzone, with some editing by @themightyif:
1. His fat face is the cutest face and is extremely kissable, so you should take advantage of that.
2. His belly is the perfect resting pillow for your head, and I believe it evolved exactly for that purpose.
3. If he is a nerd then you are one lucky son of a bitch.
4. His chubby body is a cuddler’s heaven. If he likes cuddling, go for it!
5. Moobs … need I say more?
6. He probably emits a lot of heat, so in the winter his body is like a customized heated squishy sexy pillow that will keep you warm.
7. If you like stuffed animals, he’s like a human-sized soft teddy bear that can actually talk; if he’s hairy it’s a plus.
8. If you’re a handsy person and he’s into lots of touching, your boyfriend will provide you with a big assortment of places you can handle him, with different levels of thickness, softness, and accessibility.
9. He is easier to find in a crowd.
10. He is almost impossible to kidnap.
Here are some more advantages of fat boyfriends:
11. His big t-shirts and hoodies make super-comfy night shirts. Swipe them! (Or, y'know, just ask to borrow some.)
12. His plush lap is the most comfortable seat ever.
13. He is so aesthetically pleasing - all soft, round curves, no jagged edges or rough spots. Very easy on the eyes.
14. You can potentially stand behind him to avoid awkward social situations. (“Oh no, it’s THEM - quick, hide me!”)
15. It’s fun to make up pet names for your Big Boy/Teddy Bear/Chubby Hubby/etc. Find one he likes and use it to tell him you love and appreciate him.
There’s more to your boyfriend than just his fat body - but, well, it IS a pretty great body! What are some more advantages of having a fat boyfriend?
why do you have a vendetta against him? he's not too bad. i liked him
You’re totally entitled to your own opinion. However, since you asked, I know Ross to be the worse human being since the creation of time because that phrase applies to people who:
are terrible friends: possibly my most hated Ross moment happens in 4.02 when Phoebe finds a cat that she believes is her mother reincarnated and Ross is a totally asshole about it. Believe what you want, but when your friend is clearly grieving over the loss of her mother, perhaps give being supportive instead of a condescending fuckboy a try. Or after the infamous Ross and Rachel we were on a break thing, he guilt trips the other friends for hanging out with Rachel. Breakups are shitty, but why he would drag their MUTUAL friends into the middle of it always baffled me
are judgmental: literally it never ends. It hasn’t been a Friends episode if Ross doesn’t make a condescending comment to at least someone. I dare you to find one. It can’t be done
make everything about themselves: it doesn’t matter what your issue is. It’s happened to Ross and it’s been worse. He is so egotistical it is almost impressive
are possessive/jealous: Mark, Pablo, any male that looks that any woman. In 2.16 Rachel feels the need to hide her plans to get a tattoo from Ross because he wouldn’t like it. Why Ross feels like he has the right to make any decisions about RACHEL’S body is beyond me. In 3.05 he makes a LAMINATED list of celebrities he would have sex with (they should be so lucky). Plus in 2.08 he writes the world’s grossest pro/con list about Julie and Rachel (HUMAN BEINGS) as if he was deciding what car to buy, not which woman to grace with his presence
are horrific boyfriends: well since you brought up Ross and Rachel, that relationship is the most toxic thing I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. The way Ross treats/yells at Rachel when she is getting ready for his gala in 3.02 gives me heart palpations. In 3.15 Ross is so grossly un-supportive of Rachel’s job at Bloomingdale’s, it’s laughable. She tells him that it “is the first time in [her] life [she’s] doing something [she] actually care[s] about.” His response? He is “tired of having a relationship with [her] answering machine.” Ahh, nothing like making your girlfriend feel guilty for being successful. And then, when Rachel stands up to him (you go gurl!) Ross has the gall to accuse her of cheating on him with Mark. Which, somewhat hypocritically, actually brings me to my next point…
are cheaters: Phoebe’s friend (the bald girl), Julie, and basically Emily all get cheated on by Ross (maybe even Rachel, but they were on a break so I’ll give Ross the benefit of the doubt on that one)
are sexist: in 9.06, Ross gets angry at Rachel when she hires a male nanny. He uses the phrase, “That’s like a woman being a…”. BEING WHAT ROSS. PLEASE FINISH THAT THOUGHT. In 3.04 Ross loses his mind when Ben opts to play with dolls (a girl toy) and basically forces his young son to confirm to gender norms with the G.I. Joe. Also, episode 3.01 The One With The Princess Leia Fantasy exists
are homophobic: Ross literally never once misses the opportunity to remind anyone listening that his ex-wife left him FOR A WOMAN. The fact he doesn’t see himself as having anything to do with why Carol left him speaks to how flawed of a character he is (never mind that she makes it super clear it wasn’t about her sexuality alone). On top of that he constantly belittles the importance of Susan’s and Carol’s relationship. In 1.02 when he, Carol, and Susan, are at the doctor for the sonogram, he literally tells Susan it’s “not her baby,” and that she “can’t be the mother of the child.” In the same episode he plays the “sperm card” implying he’s (or at least he thinks he is) more valuable in this situation.
Honestly, he acts like Carol’s acts lesbianism was something she choose to do to spite him
are shitty parents: he brings up Ben to win an argument or to avoid helping his friends move, like in 6.06. He basically uses his son solely a prop to suit his own needs. Which is actually for the best because when he does see his son, he spends his time explaining the whole we were on a break thing to the poor kid. And oh yeah, he does this to his daughter as well (way to shit talk your daughter’s mother Ross….)
are terrible siblings: Monica essentially grew up being verbally abused by her mother and I think it’s so tragic that her own brother continues this pattern of abuse into her adulthood. Ross constantly tries to undermine Monica successes, and never misses an opportunity to define her by her current or previous weight. Friends is pretty problematic with the ongoing “Monica used to be fat!” jokes anyways (but I mean it was the 90s and nothing is perfect), but Ross is by far the worst of them. He jokes about how she never had a boyfriend because FAT and how she threatened to sit on him (never mind that skinny Monica could still totally whoop Ross’ terrible ass). Any time he feels like he is losing an argument, he immediately brings up her weight. Aside from all of this, he is grossly unsupportive when Monica and Chandler start dating (which is why they try to hide it from him for so long I am sure)
In addition to all of this:
HE SAID THE WRONG NAME AT EMILY’S WEDDING
He doesn’t annul his and Rachel’s wedding AND LIES ABOUT IT
he made a move on his COUSIN, and RATIONALIZED THAT IT WAS FINE BASED ON HER ACTIONS
He didn’t read the letter
WE WERE ON A BREAK (if Ross thought he and Rachel were on a break and he did nothing wrong, why did he hide the girl from the copy place behind the door? Urgh, brb rage spiraling)
He kept track of how many times he and Rachel had sex
He is whiney
He constantly belittles the accomplishments of others
He has anger management issues
He suffers from the Nice Guy Syndrome (NGS); fun fact, Friends coined the term the friendzone, this is no coincidence
The whole turkey sandwich thing
When he got caught getting high in highschool, he throws his oldest friend under the bus
He dates a student
He’s never been in a relationship where he hasn’t lied
The “We Hate Rachel Club” and the rumor that he and Will started in high school
This list is by no means comprehensive or exhaustive. I think Ross is an extremely troubled human being. Granted, I do think a lot of his trust and self-esteem issues stem from his failed relationship with Carol. A lot of Ross’ personality deficits come from his own fear of his own crushing inadequacy. However, that doesn’t give him carte blanche to be shitty guy.
What did Diablo ever do to deserve Genji and D.Va ganging up on him/her (depending on the skin you use??). Leave Diablo alone its fucking hard being a Prime Evil okay like jesus cyborg ninja and gremlin meme what is this who taught you why are you like this let Diablo be evil in peace