fat and ugly girls

So you are on your fourteenth shower in the last twenty-four hours and yet you feel dirty, your insecurities cling to you better than your skin and they even flow in your bloodstream. 


The word FAT refuses to go down the drain because it is too big to fit in through the hole and the word UGLY is hanging onto you by your nails, the word UNSIGHTLY is stuck in the mirror in front of you and the word LONELY just entered the bathroom. The word UNATTRACTIVE is still your closest friend because it never left, and the word PLAIN-LOOKING is the compliment you’ve ever felt

—  INSECURITIES SCREAM EVEN LOUDER IN SILENCE // JustScribbledWords
Summer

W wakacje nie chcę być tą dziewczyną:
- która zakrywa swoje ciało
- która wstydzi się zdjąć z siebie ubrania na plaży
- która nie idzie się kąpać ze znajomymi, bo boi się, że ktoś zobaczy jej tłuszcz
- która nawet w lato nie może jeść fast foodów, bo jest za gruba
- która nie wierzy w “wakacjne romanse”, bo wie, że nikt jej nie zechce
- która wstydzi się iść pobiegać po plaży
- która boi się kupować krótkie spodenki i crop topy
- KTÓRA ZAWSZE CZUJE SIĘ GORSZA

(via @disney-princess-bitches)

Sometimes I dream of hugging strangers and it doesn’t scare me, I am not scared in my dreams, even if I am I don’t really remember it and the feeling of not being anxious of hugging someone is rare for me so I try to dream more of it, I try to hug stray animals and at times they follow me back to my place, I don’t call it home, because I never felt that way, they don’t mind me, they don’t mind that I am fat or ugly or fucked up or angry or broken or anxious, they just need some warmth and they take it from me.
It’s funny because I have been a science student and it always taught me that energy can neither be created nor be destroyed but can only be transferred from one form into another but why do I feel the heat in my cold cold heart when I am playing with a stray? They aren’t warm to begin with so where does this heart energy come from?
◾ I’m fat
◾ I’m not pretty
◾ I’m not beautiful
◾ I’m ugly
◾ I am not a fucking
◾ I’m disgusting
◾ I’m stupid
◾ I’m emotional
◾ I’m not atletic
◾ I am fearful
◾ I’m not a talent
◾ I’m not special
◾ I am insignificant
◾ I am depressed
◾ I’m empty
◾ I am horrible
◾ I cry too
◾ I complain too much
◾ I am weak
◾ I am not popular
◾ I’m crazy
◾ I’m a monster
◾ I’m am a disaster
◾ I disappoint people
◾ I sleep poorly
◾ I don’t eat
◾ I hate everyone
◾ I’m not sweet
◾ I’m weird
◾ I do hurt me
◾ I have dark thoughts
◾ I’m not a genius
◾ I am not strong