fastest bike

Headcanons for the Revolutionary Set playing Mario Kart

Hamilton always plays as a mii, because he’s “just that handsome”. (Mulligan always makes sure his mii is the correct size- very small- before he plays.) He always picks the fastest bike he can, and is extremely competitive, in fact a tense race is one of the few things that can shut him up. When he’s not playing, though, he will not stop giving advice/narrating to the other racers.

Burr does not have a character he chooses regularly, he switches between several (but his favorite is actually Baby Daisy). He’s the kind of player who will hold a banana behind him for protection for as long as possible, rather than dropping it and picking up a new item. When he falls behind, he hopes for the powerful items to bring him back to the front, but sometimes that backfires on him.

(A large section of the itemized list of disagreements is A. Ham’s list of “Burr hit me with a blue shell when I was almost at the finish line!!! Burr saved his red shell to hit me specifically, and I fell off a ditch!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT BURR BEAT ME ON MOO MOO MEADOWS HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.”)

Laurens plays as Koopa Troopa, and he is almost always shouting at the screen. His favorite items are red shells and invincibility stars. He wants to win, but more than that he wants to beat up his opponents. His favorite course is Rainbow Road just on principle.

Mulligan likes playing as Toad. He’s one of those ones who you don’t see during the race until the end when he’s ended up placing in the top three and everyone’s like how?????? He’s crazy good at Ghost Valley 3 for some reason. It’s also his game, so he can threaten restrict access to anyone who starts getting too intense.

Lafayette picks Peach every time, unless someone else wants to be her in which case they will graciously concede the character. They enjoy playing online when they can race against Adrienne, their girlfriend back in France. When they’re playing with their boyfriends in America, they enjoy sitting on them and gaining advantage that way.

Eliza prefers playing as Yoshi. She’s usually in the middle ranks, placing between 4th and 6th. She steers well but tends to have bad luck with items, and she’s not as vicious as, say, Hamilton or Laurens or Angelica. She picks Karts over bikes, and that gives her an advantage when it comes to not being knocked off the course.

Angelica plays as Rosalina most often, and she is just as competitive as Hamilton and Laurens. Except when she’s racing Eliza- then they’re on an unofficial, unspoken team and will not attack each other, instead focusing all their attention on their other opponents. Like Lafayette, she will sit on people if it gives her an advantage.

Peggy is almost always Bowser. Ze likes running people off the road almost as much as Laurens does. This might be revenge for being the youngest and, for a short while, underestimated, but it’s also just really fun. Ze and Laurens will sometimes team up if they’re playing together to make everyone else’s lives miserable.

Jefferson isn’t invited over, but whenever Waluigi shows up as an NPC the gang calls him Thomas and makes a special point of trying to get him in last place. (Burr doesn’t really do this, or at least, he says he doesn’t.)