fast is faster

Saw this post earlier. Couldnt resist doodle a bit.

I imagine they went shopping and found these and probably bought them without the other looking to surprise each other. or idk, they like being weird together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

How to get straight A’s in college. Seriously.

Yes, even if you’re taking the maximum credit load. Because if I can do it, you can do it too. Note: My credit load also included a handful of honors courses. 

Side-note: I’m going to be a junior (how??) and an RA (!!!) in the fall. Life moves fast. College moves faster. Anyways, 

Here are my top tips: 

1. LOOK AT THE SYLLABUS AND WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN. This is step number one, and it’s not up for debate. If you do this, there’ll be no surprises, and if there are: point it out to the professor (a simple, ??? this wasn’t on the syllabus ??, usually works). Also, you have to check and see what constitutes as an A in that class. Sometimes it’s a 90, sometimes it’s not. (a 96 was an A- in one of my classes last semester. I’m so serious.)

2. Get a calendar. Not a planner. One of those giant calendars with puppies or something on it and write down everything you have to do for the month. Put it above your desk. This helps A LOT because you can see everything you have coming up for the next few weeks, instead of jus playing it day-by-day. 

3. It is OK to use ratemyprofessor. Sometimes it can be really helpful, but pay attention to the more in depth reviews that talk about what the homework, tests, quizzes and projects are like (instead of “her lectures are boring :///) 

4. Sit in the front of your class. You’ll be more likely to pay attention and less likely to scroll through instagram. (by the way, mine is @parissdb :) It also grabs your professors attention, so even if you’re shy, they’ll at least know your face.

5. Do that extra credit. A lot of professors offer it in the beginning of the semester, and hardly anyone does it because no one’s thinking past tomorrow. It may be what saves you in the long run. 

6. Figure out your best method of note-taking. For me, it’s good ol pen and paper. It helps me remember everything. Some people prefer typing it out. This is beneficial bc it makes it easier for you to find exactly what you’re looking for. (Thank you, command + F)

7. Put your effort into the percentages. If an assignment is worth 1% of your grade, do it well, but don’t exhaust yourself. It’s 1%!!!! If it comes down to it, spend more time studying for that exam that’s worth 30% than the group project worth 20. 

8. Please. Stop studying what you already know. We’re all guilty of it. It makes you feel better knowing you have chapters 1-3 down, even if you don’t know 4-7. The key to studying is to learn what you don’t know. 

9. Learn how to study. (Yes, it’s actually a skill that has to be learned.) I’m the biggest procrastinator I know, especially when it comes to studying. But I’ve found that studying 2 days before an exam usually does the trick for me. I create a master study guide during day 1 and study it all on day 2. Depending on what time the exam is, I may review on the morning of day 3. 

10. SAVE SOME TIME FOR FUN ffs. Seriously. You don’t have to study 24/7, and I don’t know about y’all but my attention span was not built for that.

I might add more to this later, or make another post because I could give these tips for ever and ever. But hopefully this helps someone out there. 

Be sure to check out my college tab here:(http://thesoontobenewyorker.tumblr.com/tagged/college) and follow me on instagram @parissdb (https://www.instagram.com/parissdb/) for more stuff. :) 

When an AI or ‘created human being’ (magic or otherwise) in a movie is coded as male, it learns fast, way faster than it should and becomes a coldhearted self-aware, actualized genius that overshadows its creator in intelligence and generally must be stopped before completing some complex plan to Kill All Humans. It is often ‘born’ completely articulate, focused, and mentally adult. Its physical adulthood is parallel to its mental development, at the least, if not somewhat behind it due to the immense intellect the being has.

When an AI or ‘created human being’ (magic or otherwise) in a movie is coded as female, it learns fast but shows almost NO outward sign of having retained complex information, acts naive like a child, and doesn’t understand anything it learns, constantly expressing confusion about it and looking to its (male) creator for guidance. It often may have a plan, but it requires daddy’s-…er, its creator’s help or the help of others to complete. It is usually ‘born’ physically adult but mentally infantile (for no good reason), with a marked and exaggerated mental deficit in comparison to how ‘developed’ the physical body is.


7

So? Dude, what we do, you can’t learn this crap in a book. You put on a flannel, you pick up a gun, you go out there. Either you get good fast or you get dead faster. - Dean Winchester

Happy Birthday Abby @spn-idjits-guide-to-hunting

2

Now if @shinyzango hadn’t found that Sammy walk as funny as she did, it definitely wouldn’t get all this attention so fast (260 notes in less than three days wha?!)
So thanks Z and thanks to everyone who reblogged and liked it! Some of the comments/taggs made me laugh so much! 😂

But comment from @neck-deep-in-dragon-hell inspired me to make these two walkie abominations.

And I have to thank @florageist who made me laugh during it’s making and gave some great music suggestions to go along with it XD

Use them wisely (who am I kidding, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT FOLKS) and if you make one yourself please tagg me!

Moca out *falls on face*

8

…I wonder if that was actually a good decision to make there, Kuroo

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My Girlfriend's An Idiot

Request: I was wondering if you could do a Jasper imagine, from twilight, where he and the reader are fighting because she’s human and he doesn’t want her to get hurt, but she does the thing regardless and someone accidentally hurts her and Jasper’s alter ego comes out and almost attacks the person so reader has to calm him down and it’s just really cute and fluffy… Sorry this is long.

Warnings: swearing, fluff

Originally posted by sweetlambs

“You know, for someone who’s seen me naked, I’m a little uncomfortable at how much you try to act like you’re my father.” You snapped, walking through your house, gathering the stuff you’d need for your day trip.  

“Y/N, you know I’d never try to control you. I’m just … worried about having you over there. Where I can’t reach you.” Jasper followed behind you. 

You sighed. Jessica had invited you to La Push for the day, and Jasper had basically asserted that you were not going to go. He was bothered by the fact that he couldn’t go with you and protect you. And probably slightly bothered by the fact that you’d be hanging out with boys from school. Mostly, though, he worried about the Quileute pack making an appearance.

“Bella’s going too, you and Edward can suffer together.” You said, throwing sun screen and a towel into your tote bag. You felt yourself calming down, and turned around. “Can you please not do that?”  

Jasper’s lips twitched. “It’s a habit.” 

“Well quit it. I’m angry at you. Take it like a man.” You said, a hint of humor in your voice as you turned around, making your way to the bathroom and shutting the door behind you so that you could change into a bathing suit. He was still standing there when you came out. 

“They’re animals.” Jasper said. “And even worse, they’re teenage boys.” 

You heard the dryness in his voice but you could see the worry in his expression. He truly didn’t want you to go. 

“Mostly, though, they’re just teenage boys. And I can handle those.” You said, grabbing his hands. “Jess and Angela and Bella are gonna be there too, okay? And Mike and Eric.” 

Jasper rolled his eyes. “Mike and Eric couldn’t protect you from a pack of guinea pigs.”  You snorted, but softened when he wrapped his arms around you from behind. “They’ll be able to smell me on you. If you got hurt, I don’t know what I would do.” 

You turned to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your lips to his. “I’ll be careful.” You said, putting one hand on his cheek, fingers brushing over his sharp jawline. “I’ll text you. I’ll stay with people I know. But I’m going.” 

He sighed, his hands rubbing absently over your hips. “I suppose I can’t stop you.” He smirked. “I mean, I could.” 

“But you won’t.” You said smugly, turning to pack the rest of your things. 

“Because my girlfriend carries a surprising amount of wrath in her fragile, mortal body?” He asked, hands still on your hips. 

“Yes.” You say, shouldering you bag. “And because you love her and would never dream of restricting her freedom for your own selfish reasons.”  

“I’m so glad we’re on the same page.” He said sarcastically, leaning in to kiss your lips, and then your jaw, and down your throat, before he stiffened and Jessica’s car honked from the street. 

“Guess that’s my ride.” You said. 

He nodded, no longer trying to conceal the worry in his eyes. “I’ll text you.” You said, and he nodded again, stiffly. “And I love you.” You said softly, with a smile. 

He was unable to stop the smile that answered yours, “Yeah, yeah. Sure you do.” He said softly, which was his way of saying it back. 

You kissed him again when he walked you to the door before you jumped into the backseat of Jessica’s convertible, where Bella was already seated with Angela in the front. Jessica cranked up the music on the radio before the four of you sped off to meet up with Mike and Eric and head to La Push. 

You spent the first couple of hours tossing around in the waves. You wrestled Mike to the ground for slapping you with a piece of sea weed until he finally gave up fighting you and apologized. You crawled onto the beach exhausted with the girls and sat in the sand, under the cool grey sky. Though you could tell Jasper was desperately trying not to check in too much, you made sure he knew you were okay every hour or two. 

The boys suggested, once it became too cold to swim, that they all take a hike up to the cliffs. Everyone was fairly rested up after swimming and agreed, so you all shrugged your clothes back on and set off up the narrow mountain trail that led to the cliffs above La Push beach. 

“And people jump off of these for fun?” Jessica asked skeptically, trying to stare over the cliffs but not daring to come within five feet of the edge. 

“That make you nervous?” Mike made like he was going to push her and earned a shriek and a smart punch in the arm in return.  

“Any of you ever jumped before?” All of them turned to see a group of three boys emerging onto the cliff, clad in normal clothes but clearly very muscular, and all with dark hair cropped short and dark eyes. You’d never seen the wolves in person but you knew that these had to be some of them, ripped with muscle though the oldest one couldn’t have been more than twenty.  

“No way, man.” Eric said. “I’m Eric. This is Mike, that’s Jessica, Y/N, Bella, and Angela.” 

“Sam.” 

“Jared.” 

“Paul.” Each of the boys introduced themselves. You noticed them glancing at you, and you realized Jasper must have been right. They could smell him on you. They all shared a glance and you tried your best not to notice, staring at your phone. 

They’re here. You texted Jasper. 

His reply was almost immediate: I will come get you. 

Do not cross that treaty line. You sent back. Under any circumstances.

You ground your teeth, looking up briefly. 

“Y/N, we’re headed back down to start a campfire. You coming?” Angela asked, frowning briefly your troubled expression and glancing at your phone. 

“I’ll be down in a minute.”  You said, and they left you alone. You looked back down at your phone.  

Who’s being selfish now? Jasper asked.

For keeping you from starting a war? You challenged. 

For risking your life because you’re too stubborn to admit you might be in danger.  He shot back.  

You shook your head, eyes completely focused on your phone when suddenly the ground fell out from under you and you screamed. 

The edge of the cliff. You’d wandered too close to the edge of the cliff. You were falling, eyes closed, and then, with a painful jerk of your arm, you weren’t anymore. Someone had caught you. The one named Sam had grabbed your wrist. 

“Grab the ledge.” He said, voice straining with the effort of holding your dead weight. You did and slowly, he hauled you back onto the rocky outcropping. You collapsed on your back on the hard ground, breathing heavily, your arm draped over your eyes. 

“Nice … catch.” You said between breaths, still reeling, adrenaline coursing like acid through your veins. 

“No problem.” Sam said, sitting beside you. His chest still heaved but he was catching his breath a lot easier than you were. “For future reference though, maybe don’t text on the edge of a cliff.” 

You let out a laugh, loud with relief as it dawned on you that you very well could have been killed just now and somehow remained relatively unscathed. “I’ll try to keep that in mind.” You said, bringing your phone up to look at it before you realized it was not in your hand. 

“Oh no.” You said, rolling onto your stomach and leaning up to look over the cliff before slapping your hand over your face. “Shit, shit, shit!”  

You jumped to your feet and found yourself dizzy. Sam steadied you. 

“Take it easy, what’s wrong?” He asked. 

“My phone!” You pointed to the cliff. “I was talking to-” You cut yourself off, realizing who you were talking to now, and just shook your head. “Um … I need to get ahold of someone. Do you have a cell phone?”  

He shook his head, “Sorry. I’m sure one of your friends does, though. We can walk down and …” His voice trailed off as you thought. Jasper was panicking. You just knew it. If you told him the wolves were here and then didn’t text him back … the longer you waited increased the likelihood that he was on his way here. It left you with one option. 

You turned to face Sam. “I need you to drive me to the treaty line.”  

Sam didn’t seem all that surprised that you knew what that was, but crossed his arms and looked you over. “Why?” 

“You know who my boyfriend is, I know you can smell it on me.” You said. He tilted his head up and watched you. “I was texting him about you being here. If he knows I was with you and then I don’t text back, he’ll try to come get me.”  

Sam’s eyebrows shot up. “And start a war?” 

“If he thinks I’m in danger.” You said. “You’re the leader, right? Sam Uley?” He watched you, but didn’t say anything. “This doesn’t have to end in a fight. Not if you can get me there in time.” 

Sam seemed to look over you, trying to decide if you were telling the truth, before he shook his head. “Get on.” 

He took off his shirt and doubled over and before you knew it a black wolf the size of a grizzly bear was standing in front of you. Get on, he’d said.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” You mumbled, before struggling onto his back. He let out a small growl which you guessed was wolf for ‘hold on’ and then took off at a run.

You’d been running with Jasper before, and were quite surprised to find that the wolf was just as fast, if not faster. Trees flew by you in a blur of darkness now that the sun had set and before you knew it, you’d reached the treaty line. You rolled off his back and doubled over, hands on knees, stomach churning. Though he was just as fast, Sam was not nearly as graceful. He looked at you warily before something in the woods caught his attention and he crouched into a more defensive position.

“Jasper?” You called out, knowing that’s the only one it could be, but Sam’s head was darting around, his lips curling back over huge canine teeth. There was more than one. “Emmett? Alice? Ed?” You guessed. “I’m fine, no one’s trying to hurt me.”

You glanced at the ground for something, perhaps, that marked where the actual treaty line was, but there was nothing, so you just glanced back at Sam and moved about ten feet forward, hoping that would put you in Cullen territory.

Emmet and Edward appeared just ten feet away, eyes trained on the wolf. Jasper was already in front of you.

“You smell like one of them, are you hurt?” He asked, voice stricken with tension.

“No, I lost my phone and-” You tried but he interrupted you.

“What’s this?” Jasper held up your bruised wrist and ignited a similar pain in your shoulder from where Sam had hauled you back over the cliff. You sucked air through your teeth and jerked your hand away from him instinctively.

What happened next happened very quickly. Edward, reading Jasper’s thoughts, said something along the lines of ‘grab him’ and before you knew it Emmet and Jasper were struggling behind you, Jasper trying to get to Sam, Emmett pouring all of his strength into keeping Jasper behind the treaty line. Sam was crouched and snarling, not attacking first but ready should Jasper get to him. Edward realized that Emmett may not be enough to hold him and grabbed Jasper’s other shoulder as Jasper kicked and snarled, as if all he wanted was to cross the treaty line. Before you really knew what you were doing, you were standing in front of Jasper.

“Y/N he’s not in control right now, you need to move.” Edward said seriously. He was not as strong as Emmett and his grip on Jasper’s arm kept slipping. You didn’t listen.

“Jasper look at me. Not him, me.” You said evenly. He didn’t listen until your hand touched his face. When he looked at you, you could tell it was not entirely Jasper staring back at you. Not your Jasper, anyway. “He didn’t hurt me, okay? You have to believe me, he didn’t. I lost my phone. He brought me here because I knew you’d be looking for me.” You said, your nails scratching in the hairs at the base of his neck.

He was still struggling but it seemed as if he was struggling away from you now, afraid he’d hurt you when he was not in control.

“Look at me.” You said again, forcing him to focus only on you.

“It’s working.” Edward said, looking at you. “Keep going.”

You looked back to Jasper and smiled. “Baby I’m fine. No one hurt me.” You said, your hands on either side of his face. “Listen, I’ll explain everything. But I need you to calm down.”

Jasper glanced back at Sam, and you did too.

“Thank you, Sam. For everything. You can go.” You said. Sam watched you for a second before he seemed to decide to trust you, and turned, loping off into the woods.

“He didn’t hurt you?” Jasper asked, his voice still laced with fury, but it was clear he was back in control.

“You can let him go.” You said to Emmett and Jasper, taking a breath.

“He saved her life.” Edward said, having apparently read Sam’s thoughts, “Apparently you were the one who almost killed her.” His voice was thick with amusement.

Jasper’s eyes widened and he straightened up. “What?” He asked.

You laughed in spite of yourself. “I may have been arguing with you and walked off a cliff.”

Jasper just watched you. “What.”

You broke into a fit of giggles and put your uninjured arm around him. “Let’s just go home. I have to go buy a new cellphone tomorrow.”

“My girlfriend’s an idiot.” Jasper put his arm around you, clearly pissed but amused as well.

“You love her.” You said smugly. His arm tightened around your waist.

You Meme A Lot To Me

Clint has created a chatroom.

Clint has invited Y/N, Natasha.

Clint: every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break

Natasha: clint, it’s 2 am.

Clint: every step you take

Clint: I’ll be watching you. happy valentine’s day. my gifts will be delivering later on pls do not trash them

Natasha: is that coulson’s song?

Y/N: this explains why my room is flooded with gifts from the others

Natasha: why must tony give us all cardboard cutouts of him every year?

Pietro has joined the chat.

Pietro: couldn’t u choose a better song old man? this is why u have no valentine. even ur wife said no.

Clint: did i invite u? no.

Pietro: today is a day of love so don’t be salty

Clint: Na.

Clint: hahaha get it

Pietro: no

Clint: ofc you wouldn’t

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