fast food feline

Also, today this lady told me she needed a minute and I told her to let me know when she was ready. So she sits there for maybe a minute and a half, then goes in a really obnoxious voice “helllllooo????” and I’m like…. you told me to give you a minute, so don’t be all rude and obnoxious and address me in that way. I wasn’t ignoring you; I told you to let me know when you were ready and it’s not my fault you chose not to.

Back when I worked fast food, we had this particular male customer who always rushed me. I’m talking about cutting off my sentences, shoving his credit card/cash into my hand or just simply dropping it on the counter, and watching me and the cook prepare every bit and critique as we go.
When I quit that job, I was so happy to not see him again. Well, a couple of weeks ago, while working the register at my new job, I see a familiar face that I would rather not see. Of course, it’s the ‘Mr. My time is so precious, let’s treat people like shit.’
I greet him (of course without a response, since he’s a dick), then start scanning his cans of food and he just slides his card. I cannot stress how much I hate premature swiping. The pin pad asks for your phone number for your savings card. Are you that stupid that you can’t read what’s on the pin pad.
After I’m done scanning I say, “you can enter your phone number on the pin pad for your rewards card, if you’d like.”
Of course I get, “yeah, yeah. Rewards card. Can you do it by last name?”
“No, I’m sorry. We do it by phone number. I can look yours up on here, if you want me to.”
“I can work a pin pad.”
He hastily puts in his phone number, then notices the screen says 'please slide card.’ “So I’m all set.” And he begins to gather his bags.
“Sir, does the screen say anything else?”
“Yeah it says 'please slide card.’ I already did that.”
“We can just slide it one more time, it didn’t seem to read the first time.”
“If I get charged twice, I’m complaining to corporate.”
“You won’t get charged twice. You only get charged if a receipt prints out.”
It was pretty much a back and forth until he finally got the concept of following directions on the pin pad. I ended with “you have a nice day.”
No response. Rushes out of the store.

Fast Food Etiquette for Customers

Park properly

Between the damn lines.  Doing otherwise is inconsiderate.  Also, be considerate when opening your door.  If you make a dent in my car I have absolutely no problem going through hours of security footage to get your registration number.  If a customer asks me nicely and I have time on my hands I’ll do the same for them.  Inconsiderate drivers are one of my biggest pet peeves.

Don’t join the queue unless you know what you want

Whether you’re in-store or using drive thru, make sure you know exactly what you want before you enter the queue.  Don’t be selfish.  If you get to the point where you’re making your order and you still haven’t decided, you’re holding up everybody else.  Not to mention you’re screwing up my times.

(Drive thru specific) Have working windows

If you know your windows are broken, stay out of the drive thru.  It makes things so many more difficult and time consuming.  I can’t hear you properly, it takes extra time to open and close your door, it makes payment more difficult.

And if you HAVE working windows, don’t roll them up.  I don’t need to be wasting extra time waiting for your window to open at each drive thru point.

(Drive thru specific) Be silent

I’m not joking.  Those headsets pick up a hell of a lot of noise.  A car beeping their horn from the other side of the car park will sound like it’s right next to me.  Beeping because you’re unsatisfied with the wait time will only worsen the situation as I need to keep asking the customer to repeat their order.

With that being said, the best way to be heard is to speak clearly and project your voice.  Turn your radio off.  Order from the driver’s side (I cannot hear your passenger).  If I ask you to repeat yourself, you need to speak up.  If I have to ask more than once for you to repeat yourself and no effort has been made by you to rectify the situation, I’m just going to guess what you want.

Order exactly what you want

The examples are UK McDonald’s based but apply anywhere.  If there is more than one option for the item you’re requesting, BE SPECIFIC.  Don’t order “a Legend”, order “a Legend with mayo (or salsa)”.  If you order “a Big Mac with Coke”, that is exactly what you’ll get.  I know damn fine well you wanted a meal but unless you’ve been a model customer up to that point (and you probably haven’t), I won’t bother checking.

(In-store specific) Tell me whether you’re eating in or taking away

Don’t say “it doesn’t matter”.  I’m not being nosy.  I don’t honestly give two shits where you’re eating, I just need to know if I’m giving you your order on a tray or in a bag.

Pay quickly

Your money should be in your hand BEFORE you are asked for it.  The time of payment is not the time for you to be digging for loose change in your wallet/pockets/arse crack.

Exact change is appreciated but only if you have it ready.

Wait patiently for your order

I’m getting your order ready as fast as I can.  Sometimes there are limitations which slow down your order.  If you’re a cunt about it I will go slower on purpose.

(Drive thru specific) If you’re asked to park, do it

I do it so I can get as many people as possible through as quickly as possible.  Also park where I tell you to park.  I don’t want to go round the entire car park looking for you.  If you make me, I might open up your bag while I walk so your food gets nice and cold.

Ask for your sauces properly

If you’re in a store that charges for sauces, ask for them before you pay.  Regardless of whether you’re charged or not, specify how many you want.  If you know you want 5 ketchup, DON’T ask for “a couple of ketchups” and then “a bit more…a bit more.”  Ask for 5 ketchup.

(In-store specific) Tidy up

Tidy up your rubbish and stack your tray.  It’s not hard.  I will judge you if you leave all your crap on the table and you’re not disabled.

(Drive thru specific) Don’t litter

In a fast food restaurant, you’re never far from a bin.  Dropping your rubbish out of the window is the height of laziness.  If you really must drop it on the floor, please do us the courtesy of sticking it all in one bag.  Those straw wrappers are a pain in the arse to pick up, especially if it’s raining.

Remember, we have very creative ways of punishing you if you piss us off.

Submitted by anonymous

I work at a fast food chain that that shares a name with a certain hedgehog, and let me tell you, courtesy is NOT common. The problem with working at a drive-in is that you get hundreds of customers a day with extremely loud vehicles. Our order boards are over 10 years old, fuckers. It’s hard enough to understand you through a headset without your roaring engine in the background. Pro tip: If you have to yell over the noise of your own vehicle, it’s a good idea to go ahead and turn it off. At the very least, don’t get huffy when I ask you to please repeat your order, sir. What was that, sir? I’m sorry, sir, what was that last thing you said? 

No, fuck you.

Turn off your fucking truck for the 30 seconds it takes to ring up a number one with fries and a diet coke.