fashion poet

i’m in my prime,
not withering and old.
but i refuse to play
your wicked games any longer.

i know this tether is unbreakable,
but you make me feel like i’m interchangeable.
you drew a target on my heart,
when did this become fatal attraction?

i don’t have the strength,
the energy,
nor the patience
to be held hostage by your love.

so baby please don’t despair
when i say that
i’ve found the courage to
let you go.

you were never meant to be tied down in the first place.

—  believing i could love you was my mistake, c.j.n.
I'm a hopeless romantic

You hold your paint brushes
like a heart holds a soul.
Each fine hair on the handle
somehow makes you whole.

Green and yellow and blue and grey
midday,
your name stretches across my lips like a two-syllable Irish dancer
And wiggles between my teeth.
your name splatters upon every canvas,
in the ashes of every ashtray.
Hey,
Can I see the insides of your soul?

Two orders:
A black coffee and a mocha with whipped cream.
A dream,
I asked for chocolate sprinkles
to match the freckles on your nose.
You make me feel like coffee tastes.
like wiggling toes
and hand-me-down clothes.
without control-
can I see the insides of your soul?

Gazing at your face directly in the sun
may be the best thing that I’ve ever done,
because your watermelon wedge smile
makes my body tingle.
makes my heart concave
and I thought I was brave
until you made me stand on stilts.

And:
the hopeless romantic has hope.
may the mystery of your soul be a legend-
finger cuts and hand soap.
I’ll pack away your supplies,
whilst packing away mine:
your paint brushes and my storyline.
You won’t answer,
so ill play our song.
I’ll call-
and you won’t respond.
And I’ll hope that the next time my heart runs away with me,
next time,
there will be someone willing to come along.

“No matter what, I’m proud of you. Even when you do stupid things I have warned you about. I love you.”

“Aphorisms — To be read out loud every night before going to bed. Even when inebriated:

1. Don’t be afraid of ageing. As the saying goes, don’t be afraid of anything but fear itself.

2. Find ‘your’ perfume before you turn thirty. Wear it for the next thirty years.

3. No one should ever see your gum when you talk or laugh.

4. If you own only one sweater, make sure it’s cashmere.

5. Wear a black bra under a white blouse, like two notes on a sheet of music.

6. One must live with the opposite sex, not against them.

7. Be unfaithful: cheat on your perfume, but only on cold days.

8. Go to the theatre, to museums and to concerts as often as possible: it gives you a healthy glow.

9. Be aware of your qualities and your faults. Cultivate them in private but don’t obsess.

10. Make it look easy. Everything you do should seem effortless and graceful.

11. Not too much makeup, too many colours, too many accessories..

12. Take a deep breath and keep it simple.

13. Your look should always have one thing left undone — the devil is in the details.

14. Be your own knight in shining armour.

15. Cut your own hair or ask your sister to do it for you. Of course you know celebrity hairdressers, but only as friends.

16. Always be fuckable: When standing in line at the bakery on a Sunday morning, buying champagne in the middle of the night or even picking the kids up from school. You never know.

17. Either go all grey or no grey hair. Salt and pepper is for the table.

18. Fashion rules the world and Parisians rule fashion. Fine, it may not be true. But the world still needs fairytales.”

—  How to be Parisian wherever you are; Sophie Mas, Audrey Diwan, Caroline De Maigret and Anne Berest
As I’ve grown up, I’ve realised no one is going to do the fighting for you. You have to pull yourself up off the ground no matter what it takes or how many times you trip and fall. You have to be your own friend when the world becomes dark and lonely and cold. Because only you can make yourself survive. Only you can make yourself feel something and only you can mend your broken soul each time someone smashes it to pieces right before your eyes,
—  21:25 - Only you can make yourself survive
“Don’t fall in love with him,” her brain murmured.
“I want to,” said her heart, longingly.
“He’ll ruin you.”
There was a hesitant pause and then a hushed whisper. “I don’t care.”
Her brain gave a resigned sigh, for it knew that even the smartest of souls could not deny love.
It was the one thing logic could not triumph.
—  n.g // excerpt from a book i’ll never write #24