farting problems

This is a very serious question about male fart protocol

Seriously, what are you supposed to do as a guy when another guy farts in front of you?  I was talking with a cis male coworker last night - he’s great about referring to me as a guy and I feel like he really sees me as male…  and thus felt free to release a cloud of anal mustard gas in my presence.  He just fuckin rips ass while we’re talking and doesn’t acknowledge it at all?

I was truly at a loss, my friends.This dude was downright brazen with his flatulence…  Every female I’ve ever met would, upon farting in front of a coworker, blush and giggle and apologize profusely while retreating to safety.  Other females in the vicinity pretends to be disgusted while laughing hysterically.  

How am I, as a man, supposed to respond to this? Do I acknowledge it?  Do I say “good one” in my deepest voice and give him a manly, playful shove? Was Is supposed to fart back? Does it turn into some sort of alpha male fart-battle?  Do we light the fart on fire? Do I give him a congratulatory slap on the ass? Honestly what was I supposed to do I do here?  Im genuinely so perplexed, help a confused brother out? 

I think my least favorite thing about being a lady is that when you have a lower stomach ache it could be so many things… like hey tummy… you ok? Do you have to poop? Is it gas? Are you hungry? Did my yoga make you sore? Is it middleschmertz? Are you getting cramps? Is my appendix ok? Are you just angry that I ate a big lunch? Are you just trying to kill me?

I think we should start calling pugs “asthma dog” .. just so people know what they would be getting themself into. 

In all seriousness.. I sometimes regret getting a pug.. mine doesn’t have any serious problems so far but I would definitely not get another one. He’s an amazing, loving companion but yes, his life is more limited than that of most dogs. 

I just wanted to add a more elaborate point than - I’m a pug and life sucks *wheeze*! 

Funny idea: What if the reason Wisely hasn’t been reading Bookman’s thoughts/searching his memories is Bookman fighting back by trolling Wisely into a migraine. Every time Wisely tries reading information about the 14th, Bookman starts thinking about all kinds of brain-melting bullshit, like numbers and difficult mathematical problems, fart jokes, perverted scenarios, complicated poems and, the worst of all, repeating ear-worming songs and beats! Wisely struggles and struggles until his head explodes, and he ends up running out of the room crying while Bookman just picks his nose smugly.

“Why do you write like your running out of time?”

Because i sold my soul to a demon in the 9th grade I need to finish all 83 of my bOOKS BUT MORE KEEP APPEARING AND I HAVE 0 MOTIVATION