Dear Americans

I don’t know about your language, but here in the UK, when small children and adults around small children need to talk about farting, we use a different word. That word is trump.

So when one is farting, one trumps. When one farts, one is trumping. When the noxious odor of your recently de-gassed bowels floats around the room to the delight and disgust of your peers, you have trumped. The smell of your trump may linger for many minutes after the event.

For absolutely no reason whatsoever and apropos of nothing, I strongly feel that if your language lacks this wonderful word, you should feel free to immediately and prolificly adopt it for this purpose.