fart-commander

anonymous asked:

Can you make yourself burp or fart?

I was always jealous of the kids who could make themselves burp, until one time in 7th(?) grade I watched a burping contest between two people that ended up in both of them puking their guts out.

Never had much of a desire to fart on command out of fear that I’d shart my pants.

Sooo you know there’s that.

rubyshowers replied to your post “rubyshowers replied to your post “rubyshowers replied to your post…”

Lol those farting kids were the best! I had a middle eastern friend in high school who could fart on command and it smelled like rotting eggs. We would just ask him to “drop a bomb” and he’d release his gas.

lmao those are the best kinds of friends. We had a sub for a gym teacher once (it was the in school suspension “teacher” ISS lol) she gave us candy for doing what we were supposed to do, again another fat black bitch lady. She was like “WHO’S SCREAMIN LIKE DAT!??!?!?!?” when somebody was screaming and running and then she heard someone curse ( i dont fucking know how, she must have fucking dog senses or some shit ) and she was like“STOP CUSSIN UP IN HEYAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

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