My father literally came home, waved a $20 in my face and said “someone told me if I farted right there on command I would get a 20” so just let that sink in

thing to do if you don’t actually want to work but you want to do SOMETHING (aka: making use of your procrastination to avoid actual work)
• use smoke signals to sext your boyfriend/girlfriend
• learn to cuss someone out in fifteen different languages
• pick the largest house in your neighborhood then scale the house’s walls
• try to train your pet to fart on command
• learn to knit a poncho so u could look like you belong in a peruvian folk band
• learn how to pick pocket
• parkour the public library
• sit in a public area and try to doodle everything you see
• eat a ladybug and a couple rocks and live to tell the tale
• one man dance party
• bike around the beach and throw bread crumbs at people
• make a flower crown with poison ivy then leave it at your sworn enemy’s front door
• steal a horse
• explain memes to your grandma
• dialogue everything you do
• prank call the president
• maybe rob a bank


Trying to teach Misha to fart on command. #farting #goodbird #moluccancockatoo #misharillo #Misha #stupidpettricks #imightregretthis #cutebird #cutepet #cockatoo #fart #Lolz #funnypets