fart trap

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Reader: 15+ 

You have never lived with your brothers, And it has only been a few weeks since you moved into the bunker with them. You where with them at all times, So they could protect you; And watch you at all times. Right now you were filling your duffel bag full of your clothes, Ready to leave the cheap motel you have been staying in for the past week.

You were sick of sleeping with your brothers, Since they only get motels with two beds, You always have to take turns sleeping with your brothers. Sam was your favourite, He always hugged you and pulled you close to his body to protect you and when he was cold. 

Dean was an asshole. He always tore the blanket away from you, Snored, His legs always found a way to lay on your body, pushed you off the bed, And farted while keeping you trapped under the covers. You hated sleeping with him, Even though sometimes he would leave you with the biggest side of the bed. 

“Hold on guys! Let me get my stuff from the bathroom! and I gotta pee!” Your brothers were all ready to go, But they woke you up late and now you had to hurry.


After doing your business, You stuffed your forgotten objects, Zipping the bag closed; Running outside and not seeing the impala. Raising an eyebrow, You look around the parking lot, Every car possible but the impala.

“Oh no. They did NOT just leave me here” Looking around once more, You walk to the reservation desk, The lady who worked there giving you a soft smile when you walked inside.

“Hello, Ma’am? Did you see a black impala leave?” You place your backpack of the chairs and walked toward the desk.

“Oh, You where with those fine boys from last night. Oh yes, They left about 15 minutes ago. Went south from here from the looks of it” 

“Oh really?” Venom dropped from every word, Your face still keeping a smile. “May I use your phone? They seemed to have left me”

The lady laughs, Handing you the phone.

“I’m sorry for laughing. My husband did that to me one day. It was our first date too-” 

You slammed the buttons on the phone, Nodding at the lady to continue. Stomping your foot, You waited. One ring. Two. Three. Four. Then Dean’s rough voice was heard.

Yeah?

“Hello dear brother it seems like you have forgotten a package back at the motel” 

Oh shit! Sam! We forgot (Y/n)!” 

You could hear the wheels screeching; Dean was probably doing a U turn. 

We’re sorry (Y/n) We forgot you where with us. We haven’t had another person-

“Sam- Sam! It’s fine. How could you have forgotten your own sister!?” You shout, Startling the lady in the middle of her story.

We’ll be there in about 15 minutes. Stay put and don’t talk to strangers” Dean hangs up, And you’re left seething.

“And then here we are - 65 year later and still happily married” The lady ends, And you smile.

“It’s like a fairy tale story. Hopefully my brothers get here before I kill them”

“Oh I’m sure.”  The lady smiles.

You hand her the phone, Walking outside and sitting down on a bench with backpack on tow; Ready to kill your brothers when they got there.

How Each Sign Reacts To A Harsh Breakup

Aries: clutches their consenting friend, snogs the shit out of them and then screams at ex, “Does It Look Like I Give A Mother FUCK???”
Taurus: bakes a batch of cookies laced with laxatives and sends it to ex’s work office.
Gemini: starts with minimal noise but as the ex tries to talk to Gemini, their scream becomes louder and louder, then they eventually break ex’s eardrums.
Cancer: traps their fart in a perfume/cologne and sends the bottle to their ex.
Leo: “You’re breaking up with me?? ME? Pah, no sucker. I broke up with YOU 10 years ago.” “But we weren’t even together ten years ago!” “EXACTLY.”
Virgo: drinks 10 bottles of vodka and has no memories of the fact that they hit every ass in the club.
Libra: When ex is not at home, they sneak into their house and place all their furniture 0.6 inches to the right.
Scorpio: Sells all of ex’s belongings online and keeps the money.
Sagittarius: Does a backflip away from ex after each word. “Oh look my fucks are not anywhere to be seen.”
Capricorn: Tilts their head and looks confused. “Have we even met before? LMAO!!”
Aquarius: pats ex’s cheeks and looks lovingly into the ex’s eyes, “One day, I will send an army of angry ants to your door and I will watch as they consume your body whole.”
Pisces: Grabs the spare bottle of glitter that they keep in their bag and dumps all of it’s content on to the ex. Proceeds to float away on a cloud.

Silver rings are probably my favorite accessory but I can never buy as many as I want because they keep escaping into the Void, never to be seen again

(I keep losing them)

Silver Witch, holds essences, power, magic in silver accessories (rings). Is useful when ur sitting next to a smelly passenger on the plane. Rub a ring, remove fart smell. Alternatively, trap fart smell and enchant ring with the fart. Give fart ring to someone u don’t like. Incredible.

Also can store food b/c who doesn’t like snacks

anonymous asked:

I was trawling through your ancient Chrono Trigger crap and then I found out you are friends with Plebcomics and now I know you are fucking awesome keep it up.

True story we met through mutual love of drawing Dalton farting on Janus and trapping him under laundry baskets - the theme of a flatulent douchebag bullying children continues in her comics to this very day ♡