fart head

  • you: who's your favourite composer
  • me: mm i love me some clawed the boo sea
  • you: i've never heard of him!
  • me: or pole hinder mitt
  • you: who
  • me: or fee licks mend else on
  • you: ???
  • me: head fart greek
  • you:
  • me: heck tore barely owes
  • me: jewel mass a neigh
  • me: or to rain oh rest pee gay
  • me: hair rick wit tucker
  • me: are am catch at oar ian
  • me: salt and cow dye
  • me: john willy hams
  • me: bell a bar took
  • me: yo hand a may
  • me: hen rye purse hell
  • me: cammy san sons
  • me: leigh oh dell leaves
  • me: and tony oh viviality
  • me: pole duke has
  • me: france juice F. hiding
  • me: art oar oh markers
  • me: lend burns time
  • me: duh meet rye shots her cove itch
  • me: and tonne brick nor
  • me: bed riches met anna
  • me: me kyle gull inker
  • me: john sir bail he us
  • me: all hicks under glass urn off
  • me: rich hard S. trounce
  • me: yo hannah's bra mmmmmmmmmmmmms
  • me: ant on in vore jack
  • me: sir gay pro coffee elf
  • me: rich hard walk nor
  • me: free the rick shopping
  • me: fee licks mend L. son
  • me: sir gay rack man in off
  • me: lay uphold moats art
  • me: more E's rave L.
  • me: car L. kneel son
  • me: purse E. grange her
  • me: sea pee E. bark
  • me: loo E. spore
  • me: france shoe Bert
  • me: loo twig fan bait hoe Venn
  • me: all ban beg
  • me: goo staff holts
  • me: john add hams
  • me: robe hurt shoe man
  • me: aah! run cope land
  • me: do my neck oh scar latte
  • me: yo hand the bass tea and bark
  • me: hill the guard fan bing in
  • me: head ward L. gore
  • me: goo staff marlboro
  • me: peter ill itch chai cough ski
  • me: wolf gang am a day us moats art
  • me: E. gore strap fins key
  • you:
  • me:
  • you:
  • me:
  • you:
  • me: hbu
  • Katara: Why can't men just get a grip? You wouldn't believe what I have to deal with when Aang sleeps.
  • Mai: I bet I can top it.
  • Katara: He bends in his sleep.
  • Mai: So does Zuko.
  • Katara: His sleep-farts always blow off all the covers!
  • Mai: Zuko's sets the sheets on fire.
Popcorn Ceilings

Happy really, really, really, REEEEEALLY late Birthday Alisha! @rivendell101

This was inspired by you and B’s Natsu and Gray brotpcop! AU with private investigatorLucy! …as well as that one fic of yours where drunk Lucy crashed in Natsu’s bathtub! 

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His wet boot soles screeched on the polished tile, his shoulders tensing at the cacophonous noise. In his grip, the gun shifted, aim dropping lower by inches. “Oops-”

“Quiet, flamebrain.”  His partner, Gray Fullbuster hissed at his side, his own pistol still held up and ready. He had his jet black hair greased back, looking more like a misplaced business man than a cop but at least he had a sharp eye and a quick draw. Especially helpful when the power to the building was off, save for a few flickering emergency lights on a generator.

They were both going blind into the hornet’s nest so to speak.

“I was quiet!” Natsu hissed back, readjusting his pistol as if his lack of attention never happened.

Gray’s lips quirked, but Natsu knew it wasn’t from amusement. “I was talking about your yapper. Every time you open your mouth, you’re loud…and stinky.” he added as an afterthought, “Do you ever brush?”

What a dick.

“Do you ever hear the stupidity that comes out of your pea brain?” Natsu retorted in a whisper, pausing at a corner to cock his gun up. Gray followed suit on the other corner, the two of them mirroring the other in image and breathing. The first time they were truly silent and one unit.

3…

     2…

1…

They moved as one, twisting to point their weapons down the hall in opposite directions. Their eyes scanned and pinpointed all possible threats, index fingers poised to fire.

“Clear.” they both muttered, relaxing.

Back up just entered the opposite side. If our guys are still dumb enough to be here after we pulled the power, we’ll catch ‘em.’ A voice buzzed from their earpieces, stern and hardened from working the beat.

“10-4 Captain.” Gray murmured into the little radio on his shoulder, unable to hear any reply since it was muted. “We got the first floor almost clear. Proceed to the second.”

“Ass-kisser.” Natsu teased with an emotionless face, although the humor in his tone was hardly hidden.

“Shut it. We got this already bagged. They can take the rest.” Gray snapped, already moving down the right hall, careful not to let his boots squelch on the floor. Down the left hall, a single window offered a glance outside. Rain was still pouring down, keeping the outside light away.

Every so often, thunder rolled, shaking the very walls of the building. It shook Natsu down to the bones too, stirring up the thrill with every quiver.

“Steady. Two more rooms and we can stake at the stairwell.”

Gray huffed, adjusting his grip on the weapon. “Shouldn’t I tell you that? You are practically bouncing.”

Of course, he was also thriving with energy, his heel twitching. Not even his partner missed it. They were both ready for action, wherever it may happen.

Keep reading

i wrote limericks about trump

remember that art journal i submitted haikus too last semester? well i wrote some limericks about how much i hate trump to submit for the winter edition!

unfortunately something went wrong, either the submission didn’t go through or i just straight up forgot to submit them lmao, so i thought i’d might as well share them here, that way it can gain at least some amount audience

((note: pay attention to the titles))

Donald is the Pig of Animal Farms - A series of limericks about the 45th United States President

“There isn’t much else he can do”
It doesn’t seem Trump understands,
What’s needed to sign off commands.
   'Cause time and again,
   He must use a pen,
Which he can’t, ‘cause he’s got tiny hands.

“But make room in his ass for my shoe”
There once was a man known as Trump
Who brought the whole world to a slump.
   He’s missing his heart,
   and he smells like a fart,
‘Cause his head can be found up his rump. 

“Can he even see?”
He looks as if eaten by squids,
And has eye lips instead of eyelids.
   He’s worse than a mare,
   has fraudulent hair,
It’s no wonder he scares all the kids.

“lmao my b”
He seems like a pretty good fellow
And looks good in orange or yellow.
   He packs quite the punch,
   and goes great with a lunch,
No wait - I’m describing a Cheeto.

“Making fun of his hands #2”
I’d worry that taunts precede bans,
Even though we live on separate lands.
   But what could you do?
   'cause I can’t hear you
Over the sound of my normal-sized hands

anonymous asked:

If Tom King and Tim Seeley got into a fight with Peter J. Tomasi and Patrick Gleason, who would you help out? (let's pretend Tom King couldn't kill them all in his sleep)

Why is this happening? Who did what to whom? Did Tom and Tim get jealous that I was sucking off Pete and Pat in the back room at the local con? How about we make it more exciting by adding Gail Simone and her husband as combatants?! Although why would they be involved? I bet Tom and Tim got snarky with a cosplayer and they came to the cosplayer’s defense. And maybe the cosplayer had an animal companion and Pete and Pat were all, “Hey! Let’s kill that stupid dumb animal!” so then they joined in. Oh! And then when the fight was really getting bloody, Alan Moore and Warren Ellis descended from heaven and began jerking off all over the battle!

I think if this happened, I wouldn’t help anybody. While everybody was distracted, I would go fart on Cullen Bunn’s head.