fantastic beasts and where to find them

  • Tina: Wait, didn't the Aurors take your wand at the door?
  • Newt: *holding his wand* Yeah...
  • Tina: Then how did you-
  • Newt: Why, do you need one? *pulls out an extra wand*

the two ends of the gay spectrum are aziraphale not realising crowley’s in love with him for six fucking millennia and albus dumbledore marrying his goth bf within like a week of meeting him

If Harry Potter had Riordanverse-like chapter titles

“A DADA teacher tries to kill me - a sequel”

“Put this horcrux back where it came from or so help me”

“Fifth year: I still have no idea what’s going on”

“I don’t have bones and I am not surprised”

“Hermione solves everything, even faster than Annabeth Chase (though I have no idea who that is)”

“I have to catch a flying golden shit”

“I’m dead, but not really”

“An ancient cup tries to tell me what to do”

“To all the boys I’ve ever killed before - Tom Riddle’s diary”

“Wingardium Levifuckyou”