fanfic come to life

*scrolls through pages of AO3 to find a decent length fic*

Me: Oh this one sounds good

Also me: *whispers to self as I click on it* please don’t be first person, please don’t be first person…

Fic: “When I awoke that morning….”

Me: GAH WHYYYY!!! *bookmarks story and clicks away to save it for desperate times

*continues to scroll AO3*

One time in class this girl asked ‘what’s fanfiction?’ and me, being the fanfiction expert I am decided to speak up. 'Read the hat fic. Then you’ll understand’ I said.

And that was how I managed to make my enTIRE FUCKING CLASS read the hat fic. I don’t think they see me as the 'sweet innocent smart one’ anymore.

HIGH STRUNG

Guys. GUYS. I was browsin’ through Netflix to find a movie to put on in the background while I unpack from my trip and tidy up my room and I saw some dance/music rom-dram called High Strung, and that formulaic shit is my JAM so I put it on. Guys. GUYS. THIS IS BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THE MOST UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS MOVIE I’VE EVER SEEN I’M HALFWAY THROUGH AND THERE ARE ACTUAL TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE IT HAS EVERY TROPE IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE AND IT’S GLORIOUS. 

BASIC PLOT: shy, talented American blonde ballerina attends a ~~~super exclusive~~~ Arts conservatory in Manhattan (is there even another city in the US?) and is pushed extra hard by her teachers because She’s Just So Talented™. Shy, talented American blonde ballerina is strolling down the subway post-class and hears a broody British modelesque violinist playing for money. Turns out the broody British modelesque violinist is an illegal immigrant with Nothing Left For Him Back Home™ (’what about your family?’ *moody stare* ‘like I said’ *dramatic glance into the Manhattan skyline* ‘nothing’) and the lawyer he’s been paying to get him a green card was swindling him (he kicks a trashcan into a car in front of a swanky office building out of RAGE because that’s what people trying to avoid run-ins with the police do obvi). Blonde Ballerina goes back to the subway the next day and shares a slow-mo stare with Broody Violinist and then OUT OF NOWHERE a gang strolls out of the subway train and starts shit with a crew of painters working on the subway station. Naturally both the gang and the painters are dance crews (!?!?!?!?!?!) who bust out into elaborate aggressive choreo, and Broody Violinist starts playing his violin to their battle music cause why not???? Chaos ensues, Blonde Ballerina gets pushed to the ground, Broody Violinist rushes to help her, his violin gets stolen, and OH NO his grandfather gave it to him so it’s A Big Deal™ and Blonde Ballerina is so distraught so she follows him all determined to help. That’s the set up of the basic plot, now HIGHLIGHTS:

1. The movie literally opens up with the most dramatic, horror-movie-like shot of Broody Violinist playing his violin shirtless in a vast, shadow-drenched bedroom in the early morning light with a voiceover that’s like ‘the music is inside me… and if I don’t play it… it consumes me’. Something to note about Broody Violinist is that he’s barely surviving NY but he lives in a swanky bachelor pad and dresses like a Calvin Klein model.

2. His downstairs neighbor just happens to be the head of the world’s most extra dance crew and he intercepts Broody Violinist one day for NO REASON and forces him to come into his apartment and watch his crew dance like it’s a fucking recital (LITERALLY I SWORE HE WAS HITTING ON HIM BECAUSE IT WAS SO TARGETED AND OUTRAGEOUS BUT NAH HE WAS JUST LIKE ‘HEY STRANGER COME MEET MY FRIENDS AND WATCH US DANCE NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER LOL HAVE SOME CALAMARI WHILE I WALK YOU THROUGH WHO EVERYONE IS AS THEY DO A SOLO’).

3. Blonde Ballerina’s roommate is the token Comedic Party Girl™ and they are honestly so gay it’s outrageous? Like they constantly walk around holding hands and had a pillow fight within 5 seconds of meeting each other and casually chat while one’s naked in a bubble bath and who the fuck is this movie trying to kid????

4. At one point Blonde Ballerina shows up at Broody Violinist’s apartment (HOW DOES SHE KNOW WHERE HE LIVES??? IDK???) with a violin she borrowed from her school and a flier that’s CONVENIENTLY for a ‘Strings and Dance!’ competition where the winner gets 25K and a full scholarship to the conservatory (i.e. student visa!!!!!!!), but Broody Violinist is Too Ferocious and Independent™ for conservatories and they’re beneath him and his Subway musician ways and Blonde Ballerina is Too Establishment™ to understand. So Blonde Ballerina is REAL UPSET and leaves and calls her girlfriend to cry about this random stranger rejecting her offer during the cab-ride home, and Broody Violinist stares dramatically at his table before realizing his Big Mistake™ and running after her, but NOOOO, the cab pulls away just as he reaches the door!!!! GASP, I’m so sad for these literal strangers acting like they just ended a five year relationship!!!!

5. There’s a straight-up montage where Blonde Ballerina is dancing with her frenemies at bar (what’s a dance movie without a bar scene where everyone inexplicably knows impromptu choreography) and it’s spliced with BROODY VIOLINIST RANDOMLY BOXING. LMAO LIKE THERE HAS BEEN NOT A SINGLE INDICATION THAT HE’S INTO BOXING OR ATHLETIC IN ANY WAY BUT HERE HE IS, TAKING SUPERHUMAN, SHIRTLESS SWINGS AT A PUNCHING BAG IN THE DARK TO THE BEAT OF THE BAR MUSIC THAT HE’S NOWHERE NEAR. I died. 

6. Broody Violinist RANDOMLY SHOWS UP as a waiter for an event Blonde Ballerina is attending with an Arrogant Playboy Violinist™ from her conservatory, and I kid you fucking not, they tango. INTENSELY TANGO. BROODY VIOLINIST CAN TANGO. HE CAN BOX, HE CAN TANGO, THE SKY’S THE LIMIT FOR BROODY VIOLINIST, AND THERE’S NO EXPLANATION OUTSIDE OF ‘My grandmother taught me’. So Broody Violinist and Blonde Ballerina tango all ‘frictiony’ (it’s hilar) and Arrogant Playboy Violinist (who’s playing the violin in some kind of performance) starts playing SUPER aggressively because he’s getting jealous that the girl he wouldn’t even call his date is friction Tango-ing with another guy. And then comes the moment where I lost my shit:

7. Arrogant Playboy Violinist™: “You want to settle this outside?”

Broody Violinist: “I’m fine settling it right here.”

Aggressively strides over to the orchestra and grabs a violin and THESE TWO TESTOSTERONE MACHO MORONS HAVE A FUCKING HOMOEROTIC VIOLIN-OFF. SAID VIOLIN-OFF INVOLVES SMACKING EACH OTHER’S BOWS AND AT ONE POINT EVOLVES INTO A LEGIT VIOLIN BOW FENCING MATCH AND IT’S THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE BECAUSE THEY’RE LIKE SNARLING AND TWO SECONDS FROM MAKING OUT AND IT’S MEANT TO BE SO SERIOUS AND ~~ALPHA MALE~~ OMGGGG. And then naturally the rest of the wait staff is Broody Violinist’s extra ass neighbor and his dance crew so they take over the DJ-ing and start dancing in unison with their serving trays and oh my Gooooood it’s just the most perfectly absurd scene in cinematic history.

That’s as far as I’ve gotten. I don’t even know how this movie’s going to top itself but so far it’s been the most well-invested hour of my life and I can’t recommend it enough.

In my whole life I have never loved another television family the way I love the Griffin-Kane-Blakes.  Seeing the whole squad team up together was like all my fanfic dreams come to life.  Kellamy dad advice! Kanetavia rising! Griffin women feels all over the place! Abby side-eyeing Octavia like “what do I do with this one” and Kane losing his shit at Echo like “um excuse me how DARE you disrespect my stepdaughter”!  Aunt Indra showing up to drop some wisdom on the hot-headed Blake kids!  I LOVE THIS FAMILY

Yet another HolbyCityDay Tuesday is upon us and the week before Christmas is shaping up beautifully.  Catherine Russell is working her usual magic and tweeting lovely pictures of herself and Jemma from the ward what a Christmas present to receive and she might have just saved 2016 and pretty much all feels right with the world.

Having said that, I know there’s been some rumblings in our beautiful dumpster fire fandom as of late as to the total lack of amount of screen-time our lovely surgeons have been receiving and the quality of their interactions. I have some thoughts about this when do I not and decided it might be worth throwing up a little fanciful holiday guide to enjoying Campwolfe.  Because I have zero chill ability to be concise twitter will so never be my medium for communication I will be throwing these thoughts under a read-more to save y’all’s dashes.  Please peruse if you are at all inclined. One thing I will say before I jump to that read-more is that it speaks to how little positive representation we actually have on our screens that we all feel so tender and afraid for this pairing.  I think it is such a shame that we all have to ‘don our bullet proof vests’ in order to watch these two women.  At the slightest divergence from what we might think is ‘good canon’ we all go into fits myself included i WORRY about this pairing and storyline on the daily even though I know that I don’t really have to and it’s not always easy.  All of us, for whatever reason, have fallen in love with these women and we simply want the best for them  We want to have a positive, healthy, loving relationship between two women mirrored for us.  And we’re afraid, I think, sometimes we worry, just as we’re allowing ourselves to enjoy it that it will suddenly be ripped away from us.  That’s tragic.  Hopefully as other shows see how wildly successful a pairing like this can be we will begin to have more and more representation that doesn’t immediately break our hearts.  In the meantime I really don’t think we need to watch Serena and Bernie through our fingers with our breath held.  They’re going to be around and together for awhile longer yet. 

Keep reading

viki.com
Dramaworld
What is the most exciting — and most terrifying — thing that can happen to a K-drama fanatic? Claire Duncan is a 20-year-old college student who finds her real life boring. Maybe that’s because she’s never looking up, instead having her nose buried in her smartphone and watching her favorite Korean drama, “Taste of Love,” starring her favorite actor Joon Park (Sean Dulake). Joon Park plays the hot chef and protagonists in “Taste of Love” who is still waiting for his one true love to come into his life. Through a touch of the supernatural and a sprinkle of magic, Claire’s desire to shed her own boring life and live in the world of “Taste of Love” comes true when she is transported into her favorite drama and comes face-to-face with Joon Park! There, Claire also meets the mysterious waiter Seth Ko, who made his own journey into the drama years ago from the real world and mentors Claire on how to navigate the dramaworld. When the appearance of Claire throws “Taste of Love” off-balance, causing other dramas to splice into the series, what kind of crazy adventure will Claire experience? “Dramaworld” is a 2016 Viki original series. Set in Los Angeles and Seoul, the first-ever American-Korean mashup series is written by Josh Billig and Chris Martin and directed by Chris Martin.
youtube

i recently realized that i haven’t talked nearly enough about my favorite football commercial of all time, the commercial of my heart. i’d like to deeply apologize for that, and for anyone who might not have seen this masterpiece from 2003 (the date in the youtube description is wrong) before due to my silence. please enjoy what is truly the greatest work of commercial art, and art of any kind, of our times, featuring:

  • peak early aughts feathered hair heartthrob beckham
  • raul as the noblest, most put-upon sheriff in the west (with blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cameos from hierro, mori, and GUTI) 
  • tiny arrogant smooth-cheeked baby iker
  • rivaldo as the man-in-black outlaw?????!!!!
  • oh and gary neville is there too, “acting”
  • seriously you guys this whole thing is a giant becksillas wild west fanfic come to life how did this exist almost A YEAR before beckham moved to madrid 
  • wait wait wait but the end is probably the best part 

HI ROBERTO CARLOS - please call becks a gringo again thnx

do i have a million dumb promo and behind the scenes photos taken from this commercial? am i going to be posting them here forever because nothing makes a bad day better than seeing roberto carlos splayed out like the crankiest forties pinup girl ever, or raul and the team giggling like fifteen year olds playing their first round of strip poker? 

come on. you guys should know me by now.

Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life SPOILERS!!

Okay, so I just finished the Revival (been up since around 3am). And tbh I’m having a hard time processing. I’m hoping writing about it will actually help me figure out how I feel about what just happened.                                                  Just want to start by saying, I am so glad this revival happened. The revival was so necessary and so desired by the fandom after that seventh season. Also, this revival was not a dream come true. It wasn’t our fanfics come to life. It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t everything I wanted it to be. But I am so grateful for it. So grateful to Netflix for existing and making things like this revival possible. I am grateful for the Palladinos and the stars and the networks that felt GG was worth all this, was worth bringing back. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!                                                                                                                       That being said, I do not feel the satisfied sense of closure I (and I think all of us) craved. I respect ASP and her vision and her intentions with the full circle ending. I get it. It’s not necessary an awful idea. However, its just not what I wanted. Not what we wanted as a fandom, I think. That ending was strange. Despite all the love life drama throughout the years, and all the Gilmore guys who have come and gone, this show was never about those relationships. It was never about Lorelai and Luke or Rory and her multiple suitors. It was about mother & daughter. That was the idea, the pitch, the heart, the driving force. And somehow it feels like those famed last four words diminished that somehow. Those final four words felt less about Lorelai and Rory and more about Rory and her boyfriends. Which I have to admit is more than a little disappointing. It feels kinda wrong. That ending might not have felt so…idk whatever this not quite right feeling is, if it wasn’t actually the end. They did leave open the possibility for more, but I don’t really want more. I love GG and I have wanted (needed) more all these years, but deep down I think I wanted this to be the end. I didn’t really want a “reboot”, I wanted closure. I wanted a proper final season, and this didn’t feel like that.                                                                                                                                                     This revival had a lot of great Gilmore moments. Some of my favorite original Gilmore moments are fights. I don’t really know why. Maybe I love the drama, maybe I love the honesty and emotion. Maybe I think that’s where the actors really get their chance to shine, but I love the Gilmore fights in the original series. And the Gilmore fights were some of my favorite revival moments as well. The Lorelai/Emily fight after the funeral was great! “We end up here in the middle of this room [the kitchen]!” Love it! The Lorelai/Rory fight in the graveyard; loved it. It hurt, but I loved it. Even the Lorelai/Luke fights were good. I also greatly enjoyed the scene in Fall when Lorelai tells Emily her Richard story over the phone. That was perfect. And though I’m not a big Logan fan, I did always enjoy the Life and Death Brigade shenanigans, so that bit in Summer was fun for me. Everything to do with Paris was great! I love Paris! Dean’s scene was fine. I kinda always just wanted him to disappear so I was pleased that he was only there for a few moments. And I enjoyed their little joke about the shoplifting too. Sookie’s cameo was also fine. Not great, but about what I expected given Melissa McCarthy’s schedule. Jess coming in and once again reminding Rory who she is and who she really wants to be was perfect and in true Jess fashion. I really enjoyed seeing that scene between Rory and Christopher, as much as I dislike him, it was a strange but important conversation. Rory had never asked him those questions, never asked his side of the story, or held him accountable for his choices. So, I’m actually really glad they included that scene.                                                                                     Now for the little problems. Was it just me or has Lorelai grown a bit bitchier with age? Like sure she’s always had her bad days (we all do), like that time she yelled at Michel about the RV, but particularly in Winter and Spring she seemed kinda bitchy to me. Next, why did Rory have to be so into infidelity? Why? That seemed super unnecessary. They could have hit all the same points in her story arc without her cheating on Paul (why did Paul even exist btw?) with an engaged Logan? And don’t even get me started on the Wookie. She and Logan could have still been casual bedfellows without them both being in relationships. It just felt so out of character for Rory after everything she’d been through with Dean in S4 and Logan in S6. And Lorelai’s reaction to the news of this chronic infidelity made no sense, because of her reaction to the whole Dean thing in S4. I guess, I just thought I knew where the Gilmore girls stood on the topic of cheating after all that, but apparently I was wrong and cheating is just no big deal. Next, that musical was awful. I don’t know why that was there or whose idea, but that was just bad. I get that they were trying to fill space, but the musical kinda made me physically uncomfortable. Lastly, the whole Lorelai doing Wild thing was funny, but went on a little too long for me. I feel like it wasted some of Fall that could have been used for…more. I ultimately liked where the Wild thing led, but it could have reached that conclusion sooner.                                                                                                                                                                                   Big problems. Not to be a bias shipper here, but I’m Team Jess and now that its basically canon that Literati is endgame, I feel cheated out of that relationship. In ASP’s mind, Jess and Rory end up together. He’s her guy. Her “Luke”. “It was always supposed to be Luke”? Well, I think at this point we can all agree that in ASP’s mind it was always supposed to be Jess. It was. I knew. Luke knew. Jess knows. And now we all know. But for some reason it was decided that we wouldn’t get to see it. It wouldn’t actually happen. Did they think the confirmation would be enough? That our imagination would be all we needed from this point? Was it to do with Alexis & Milo’s relationship and breakup? Why? I just need to know, why not Jess? Why not now? I’m just sad, because what’s so wrong with a happy ending? Why not give the people what they want after all these years when it fits in with your original vision? Let us have Rory & Jess. Let us see it. Why wasn’t Jess at the wedding?!? Come on, no matter what was happening (or not happening) with Rory & Jess why on earth would they not have Jess in that wedding scene? Michel gets to be there and Lane gets to be there, but Jess (Luke’s closest friend and relative) doesn’t get a late-night call saying “get your fine ass to the gazebo asap!”? Why not? I actually like the Logan/Christopher parallel a lot. It was always there, I guess, but it never entirely clicked for me until I heard Alexis say it in an interview a few days ago. It’s so true though. Rory and Logan have such a difficult time “quitting each other” just like her parents. Its like in the back of their minds, they are waiting for one another the same way Lorelai said she was waiting all those years for Chris to get it together. In a lot of ways its insulting to Logan, and the revival was a bit unfair to him. By comparing (and essentially assuming) 30-something Logan would make all the same (bad?) choices as 16-year-old Christopher is almost cruel of Rory (and ASP). Like sure, I see the similarities. And yes, Logan and Rory were not ultimately right for each other and probably shouldn’t try to raise a kid together. I don’t really like the idea of Rory not even telling Logan about the pregnancy. At least, Christopher knew. At least, he and Rory had some kind of relationship. To deny Logan even that doesn’t seem right.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Ultimately, the cast was awesome, the dialogue was everything it needed to be, the chemistry was still there, the Stars Hollow magic remained, and it was still way better than season 7. I felt closure with Lorelai, Emily’s arc was actually kind of flawless, I have no complains about Rory’s career arc. But Rory’s love life is more of a mess now than ever, some parts (the musical, the Wild) were unnecessary or unpleasant, and that ending should have been more Gilmore Girls less Maury. If this is all we ever get I wish it had been better. If there’s more to come, I’ll be thrilled to watch and once again hopeful that Rory & Jess finally get their timing right.

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Alex “I wanna be a contemporary dancer” Turner, you guys