fandom: gaming

In the CRPGs I grew up with, it’s almost universally possible to break the main quest within the first five minutes of play in a way that won’t become apparent until dozens of hours later - generously assuming that you even know what the main quest is, let alone how to tell whether you’re on it, being as the signposting ranges from frustratingly gnomic to wholly absent. And these aren’t like set-your-own-goals sandbox games; they’ll totally hit you with a bad ending right out of fucking nowhere because you missed a hidden deadline on a quest you had no reasonable way of knowing you were supposed to be pursuing in the first place.

I’m not saying this as a “you kids don’t know how good you’ve got it” grump. I’m saying it as a caution against misguided nostalgia. It’s absolutely true that they don’t make games like they used to, and that’s a good thing!


A dessert worthy of a Battle Chef Champion. Watch it in action here.

What You Need:


  • 2 cups whole milk
  • 1 cup of cream
  • ½ cup of sugar
  • 1 TBL lemon juice
  • ½ cup bag non-fat Milk Powder
  • ½ tsp vanilla extract
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1 pound dry ice

Slime eggs and sauce:

  • 1 cup canola oil
  • 4 cups grape soda and or grape juice
  • 1 ½ TBL gelatin
  • 1 tsp cornstarch
  1. Note: use dry ice with extreme caution. It can cause serious burns if you’re not careful.
  2. For Helado: place milk, cream sugar, lemon juice, milk powder, vanilla extract and salt into a blender carafe. Blend until combined. Set aside. Using gloves, place dry ice onto a tea towel. Fold over the other end of the tea towel and crush with a hammer until it’s powder. Carefully pour into a metal bowl.
  3. In a stand mixer with a metal bowl and a paddle attachment, pour in your ice cream base. Turn the beater to low. Slowly sprinkle in your crushed dried ice into your mix. Allow the smoke to dissipate before adding another spoon. Once it’s thick, speed up the blender and continue adding dry ice until soft serve consistency is achieved. Spoon soft serve into your spiral molds and freeze until hard, about 4 hours. You’ll have leftovers. Eat them now, or freeze for later. Discard any unused dry ice.
  4. For slime eggs and sauce: Place oil in the fridge. In a large saucepan, add grape juice and soda. Cook on high until reduced to about 1 ½ cups of liquid. Pour 1 cup of your liquid into a measuring cup. Pour a little into a small bowl with your gelatin. Allow to bloom for five minutes.
  5. Add the rest of your 1 cup into a small sauce pan. Bring to a low boil. Once boiling, add your gelatin mixture and turn off the heat. Stir until the gelatin is totally dissolved. Pour into a squirt bottle and allow to cool for 15 mins. Pour remaining half cup of your liquid mixture into the saucepan. Add cornstarch and whisk until dissolved. Place in the fridge to cool.
  6. Remove your cold oil from the fridge. Squirt droplets of your gelatin mixture into your cold oil to form little “eggs.” Drain out the oil and rinse with cold water. Place eggs in a small jar until ready to use.
  7. To assemble: Mix eggs with a little cool sauce. Remove ice cream from molds. Fill the crevice with eggs and spoon sauce over dessert. Serve immediately.