fandom ficcery

cinderella: redo

so i was watching cinderella while doing my nails and waiting for them to dry which was clearly a Mistake because now i can’t help but think -

the evil stepmother was always evil, okay. say her abuse of her own daughters was different than that of cinderella’s - but it was still abuse. giving them impossible expectations, telling them they were never good enough, never pretty enough, never smart enough. and then she gets married, and anastasia and drizella are ecstatic because this man seems kind and warm and maybe just maybe he can temper their mother, maybe with him around she won’t be so cruel. so they’re on their very best behavior in the beginning, they do just as their mother taught - they trot out their best upper court manners in an attempt to get their new stepfather to like them. but it just comes off as cold and snooty and they’re trying, they are, they’re just bad at it. and they see how he is with cinderella, the smiling girl their own age, and they are jealous. they don’t mean to be, they try not to be, they know it isn’t becoming of young ladies. but she gets hugs and kisses and affection and they get rulers slapped on their hands when they reach for desert and sharp jabs to their sides when they slouch and - soon they hate cinderella, not for anything she’s done, but for what she has and they dont

but then her father dies. and it’s all a tumble of things and cinderella is crying and they’ve lost their only chance at escaping their mother’s clutches and it’s terrible. and everything settles and there’s no reason to be jealous anymore but resentment is hard to let go of and they don’t know what to do. they’re only kids too after all. and they’re so terribly bad at comforting people, they can do flowery words and know all the right bows but cinderella is so sad and they just don’t know what to do with that, because they’re supposed to be sisters but they’re not even friends

and slowly but surely their mother starts abusing cinderella, starts making her a maid in her own home, and she’s their mother, what are anastasia and drizella supposed to do? she rules them with an iron fist, and cinderella doesn’t even like them anyway, it’s none of their business.

except one night anastasia crawls into her sister’s bed in the middle of the night and wakes her up. “i was thirsty,” she explains, eyes wide and shiny, and they’re bad at this with other people but drizella has no problems with pulling anastasia into her arms. the younger girl clutches her sister and continues, “i was thirsty and i went down to the kitchen to get some water and - and cinderella is still up! she’s doing the dishes, and she should be asleep, mom is going to make her make breakfast in the morning and -” she cuts herself off with a hiccup and whispers, “it’s not fair.”

“life isn’t fair,” drizella says, echoing one of their mother’s favorite phrases. but her sister is staring at her with wet eyes, and it’s not like their mother is likely to get up before sunrise anyway, she hates waking up, so she pulls herself and anastasia out of bed and off they go.

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MMFD Fanfic Round-Up Nov. 30-Dec. 6

H’lo, my lovelies!

Sorry for the slight delay; work’s been particularly busy. Here’s the latest in fandom ficcery! I’ve already started the next Round-Up, so I’m hoping to get that one out in a more timely fashion. :) As ever, if you see that I’ve missed something, please let me know! 

* * * * *

@borntosikGonna Fly Away

@candlesandbeyonceButterflies

@crystalgiddings1993Hidden Pt. 13

@emmatationsforallFar, Far Away Pt. 5 - Pt. 6 

@endemictoearthAs in Champagne Pt. 2

@herhipshaverevolutionEvening

@idontliketalkingtoanybodyThe Writing’s on the Wall

@ililypopThe 4 of Us - Growing Pt. 1 - You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling Pt. 1

@janedoefromhereYou Drive Me Insane

@kneekeyta – Time, It’s Indefinite (it’s not letting me tag you anymore for some reason, hmmmm … )

@look-how-they-shine-love – Papers and Pathways

@nenita1978Enough Pt. 1My Weird Marriage Pt. 7

Prince Aladdin

i just rewatched aladdin with the roommates and it got me thinking

aladdin wishes to be made a prince, but all genie does is get him a lot of stuff and money. that’s not what a prince is. a prince is the son of the king, someone in line for the throne. someone with a lot of money is just - rich. so what i think is:

genie goes okay, that’s a big one - and i can do it! but not on my own, not if you want to do it right. not if you truly want a chance to marry your princess for real, as a prince. and aladdin is a foolish, moral, kind boy - and he agrees. he’s fallen in love with jasmine, an innocent all encompassing love, and he’ll do anything for this sweet, clever girl he only knew for a few hours. so genie takes him across the desert, far from agrabah, and plops right in the middle of a skirmish and is like okay, good luck! and aladdin is like ?????

but there’s assholes with swords attacking a young girl, and aladdin doesn’t even have to think about that, just like when he stood in front of the whip for those little kids. there are three men against him, but he’s fast and clever and has been against a dozen trained palace guards. so it’s not easy to get out of there alive, especially with the little girl to protect, but he manages it with only a thin slice on his upper arm, and he’s endured worse for less. so he picks up the little girl and says “i think we should get out of here, hmm?” and she’s in a pretty red silk getup with tiny jewels encrusted on her like stars against sunset. and she nods and throws her arms around his neck. she won’t talk, only points in the direction of home, but aladdin’s okay with that, he’s used to quiet, scared kids. so he keeps up a steady stream of stories of agrabah, which seems almost like this other desert land. but there are more men with swords and aladdin is like what the fuck is going on, but he hides the girl in a corner and fights them too. and that’s how it goes all the way home. there’s no one on the streets really, and they all scatter when the men attack, and they keep on attacking, he fights his way all the way through the city with the girl on his hip or hidden away.

and he should have known, of course, but he was tired and bruised and bleeding by the time he realized the little girl is silently guiding him to the palace and he’s like why can’t you princesses stay inside??? but he walks up and the guards get one look at the child in his arms and whisk him through and multiple people try to take the girl away but she won’t budge from him, a stubborn pout to her lips as her hands remained locked behind his neck. and he’s finally tossed into a throne room where a tall old man is sitting in agony and two young men pace in front of him, each at least a decade older than aladdin. “they’ve taken our sister!” one of the younger men hiss, “i don’t care about their power or their connections, they’ve taken esfir, and we must go get her!”

“uh,” he clears his throat, “hi?”

and all three men whirl on him and the old man stumble-runs to him. esfir finally lets go of aladdin to picked up and twirled around by her father. the two men are rahim and shapur and they look in wonder at this dirty boy of fifteen who’s returned the girl to them, and he speaks with an accent and clearly is not from here and they get the story from him - he’s traveled across the desert because those in his own country want him dead. “you know,” rahim says as the king clutches at esfir in desperate relief, “you could have held her for ransom. you almost died saving her, and we would have paid handsomely to have her returned safely.”

and aladdin gives him a flat disapproving look, appearing in this moment four times his age, and says “people are not objects or bargaining chips. especially not lost little girls.” and rahim and shapur share an impressed conspiring look and they each grab one of his arms and lead him away. “hey! what are you -”

“do be quiet little brother,” shapur says cheerfully, “we really have to get you out of your rags.”

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general li mulan

okay so i LOVE mulan okay. as far as i’m concerned it’s a Perfect Movie and doesn’t need any fixing. but i was thinking today and -

- what if mulan didn’t go to war to save her father?

say her father is dead, okay, killed by the previous war. so she’s raised by her mother and grandmother, women who’s complacency and softness has been worn away by necessity. she needs to marry well, for her family’s sake, because her mother has refused the hand of every man who offered. but mulan is even more rough around the edges than before, is educated not only in books (her mother said men wouldn’t find smarts attractive and grandmother pointed out that men aren’t always around and off to school mulan went) but in the sword too, taught to her by her classmate, ping.

mulan is considered in the lower end of the upper class, coming from a family of military men and scholars and successful merchants. ping is near the top, the son or nephew of an advisor to the emperor. his family is very rich and very important, and the reason they become friends is because mulan manages to notice something about him that he’s been hiding from everyone else - he’s going blind.

not totally blind, enough to get around, but blind enough that reading is difficult and swordplay is even worse, although once he has it down he has it. ping is no fool, he’s not weak or bumbling. his eyes just don’t work. so mulan notices and confronts him about it. she promises to keep it a secret, and hey, she’ll even help him with his assignments by reading the books out loud and helping him study. but in return he must teach her the sword, must teach her about military and tactics. he agrees.

ping and mulan become very good friends and there’s some raised eyebrows about it but they are TOO far away in class for it to be inappropriate, so they make tutting sounds and disapproving faces and let it go.

then the draft happens. ping can’t go to war, he won’t survive it. not with his eyesight like it is. so mulan offers him a deal - she’ll go to war for him, in his place. in return, if she survives, he must marry her. if she dies he must take care of her family.

ping can’t make this kind of family decision on his own, so he goes to his mother and tells her everything, about the eyesight and how he’ll die if he goes and mulan’s offer. his mother says he must keep it a secret from his father, but agrees - if mulan fights in her son’s place and survives, a wedding will be arranged. either way, mulan’s family will be taken care of. ping will be sent to live with some cousins in the meanwhile.

“you’re not in love with me, are you?” ping asks, helping mulan saddle her horse in the middle of the night. she scoffs and rolls her eyes, “not even a little. but marrying you will make my family happy, and besides, you’re my best friend,” she says, smiling, “better you than some grabby old man.” he smiles and hugs her and says, “i’m not in love with you either. but don’t die out there. we have a wedding to plan.”

so mulan goes to the camp, pretending to be ping, and she’s a little bit less lost but things still go as they go. she’s educated and trained, so it’s not hard for her to pass as ping. shang is keeping a special eye on her, thinking that she’s the son of an advisor, one of his father’s friends. and he sees how easily she excels, how quick thinking and smart she is, and starts giving her more and more responsibilities. by the time they’re called out, shang considers ping ie mulan to be his right hand man, and possibly his best friend.

he’s also a little bit in love with ping, and he’s long known he’s attracted to both genders, so he watches ping laugh and smile and the crease between his eyes when he frowns and does his best to let his feelings chase away the best soldier he has. every time shang looks at ping his heart clenches and he things to himself: i wish i could have you, i wish this was a time and a place where one man could have another, i wish you were a girl, is wish i was a girl - i wish we could be together. he’s literally a step away from doodling ‘li ping’ with little hearts over his battle plans. 

so the battles happen. shang and ping lead their men together, respected and loved. they each get promoted, and promoted, and promoted. it’s been years, and it comes to a point where they’re both generals in their own right. they trust each other, care for each other. and are both secretly in love with the other.

mulan is so conflicted. because she wants this war to end and to go home and settle back into life and become ping’s wife, so she can have an easy life spent studying and learning with her family taken care of. that’s what she’d wanted. but now what she wants is shang, her best friend, her brother in arms, her fellow general. she wishes to be everything to him, aches to be the woman on his arm and in his bed, but knows it’s the one thing she can never be.

then that final battle happens. mulan’s quick thinking saves them all and ends the war - but she’s injured.

shang finds out the ping has been a girl all along. he demands explanations - so she tells him everything, that she traded places with ping to save him, to become his wife.

and the lies should sting the sharpest, but they don’t. she’s still the same person, after all. it’s that she’s promised to another man, for one second he’d thought he might have her, but no. so he agrees not to reveal her but he’s furious and furious at himself for being furious and they’re not the same now, broken and splintered and neither of them know what to do.

the war is over. they leave. mulan returns home, and thanks to her ping is now known as a respected general. she’s done her part and survived, and now she gets her reward - ping’s hand in marriage.

but she sees ping for the first time and flings herself into his arms and starts crying. she tells him everything, because he’s still her friend, her very best friend besides shang, the man whom she lied to and betrayed and loves. and ping listens and takes her by the shoulders and says - i’ll uphold our bargain, if that’s what you want. you can be my pampered wife, you’ve more than earned it. but if you want to go to shang, i won’t blame you. you deserve your happiness.

and mulan goes back and forth, but ultimately she decides she has to try. if shang rejects her she’ll return and marry ping and uphold her family honor. but if shang wants her - he’s not as high up as ping, but he’s high up enough to satisfy her family, and also she would love him and want him if he was no more than a farming peasant so it doesn’t matter much anyway.

she rides to the capitol. she finally meets ping’s father, running into him while looking for shang. “ah mulan,” says this man who was never supposed to know of her until she became his daughter-in-law, “i didn’t expect to see you here. how fortuitous. walk with me.” she does, wary, and that’s how she discovers - he and the emperor had discovered her deception a year in, but at that point she’d already proven herself too skilled and valuable to lose. he tells her that he will uphold his son and wife’s deal and gladly welcome her to his household - but that she’s earned her rank as general, and that he and the emperor have no problem with letting her keep it.

she says thank you, shocked and joyful, but that she has to talk to someone first. “ah, yes, young general li,” he says, eyes twinkling, “i do believe he’s around here somewhere.”

she has no idea how he seems to know everything, but she finally tracks down shang who’s ecstatic to see her and hates himself for it. she confesses - says she loves him, that she’s engaged to ping but willing and able to break this engagement for shang. who is dumbfounded and elated and says yes, of course, finally and forever.

and mulan accepts her rank and marries shang, and they become the literal power battle couple of the general li mulan and general li shang. ping becomes a scholar and marries a very nice young woman who loves reading and is happy to read aloud to her husband with his failing eyes.

and they all live happily ever after.

he’s the beauty; she’s the beast

so i’m sure the remake of a timeless classic that disney is about to roll out is going to be great and all

but here’s another way we could do things:

he’s the beauty

she’s the beast

for a movie who’s central theme is inner beauty, it doesn’t really do anything to support that, you know? so how about this: adam, our prince turned beast, isn’t an inhospitable monster. because this back story doesn’t make any sense – why is the young prince of this land alone, in a castle, only to be caught unaware by a witch?

so how about this – this is pseudo france, right, so these royals do what their real life counterparts did. they flee. the cruel, greedy king and queen flee and leave their young son behind with their staff. their son who is kind and soft hearted and totally unfit to rule any kingdom (never mind that they’re literally running away from their own people). not only that – they trade their son for their freedom, trade their kingdom for their freedom. to the witch.

so the witch comes, and she doesn’t disguise herself as a crone, goes to him looking as lovely and young as her magic keeps her. but our prince adam has a talent, one many cast-aside, neglected children have developed – the ability to see people for who they really are, and he knows this is no kind young woman in need of his help. he refuses to let her in – and there’s this little twist to the magic, that she can only enter the palace grounds and claim her prize if she’s welcomed in a as a guest, and he, the young master of this castle, won’t let her in.

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chihiro never forgets her time spent in the spirit world, because that’s no fun for anyone. she never forgets her friends, how could she? she holds them all close to her heart, which is where they belong, especially her beautiful white dragon.

hake is hers as far as she’s concerned, but she’s his too, so it’s all nice fair. of course, haku thinks that she doesn’t know he exists, but that’s okay. she’ll go find him again one day.

because chihiro plans to return to the spirit world. but she knows the time isn’t right, that if she just goes darting through every place where the boundary between their worlds runs thin, then nothing will change. as is, she’s just a little girl, just a helpless little girl who will get lost and killed in the world of her friends, of her dragon. so she doesn’t go back.

she could. now that she knows what to look for, she sees entrances to the spirit world everywhere. they’re rarely in the exact same place twice but she knows what to look for, how to find them if she wants to, how to get back to rin and kamaji and zeniba. but she’s not ready yet.

she needs to get stronger.

her family’s not religious, so they’re surprised when she asks to go visit shrines, but maybe it’s for the history or the culture, or, they don’t know, the architecture. it’s a simple thing, and so they go.

chihiro keeps her eyes peeled, because she’s looking for something in particular.

she’s looking for a shrine with a lot of spirits living in it.

oh, because that’s another thing she can do now.

she can see spirits.

not ghosts, not the echoes of the dead. but spirits, nature spirits mostly, but tricksters and guardians, and all sorts, really. so they visit shrine after shrine, and there are sprits there, of course, but never enough, none of them are there for anything but the offerings, and that’s not what chihiro is looking for.

it takes months, and she’s already started school, settling into it easier than she knew she could. after her adventures in the spirit world, human children are nothing. but one day she visits a shrine, and she knows it’s the one. it’s small, nothing impressive, all the way at the top of a long hill.

but she knows she’s found what she’s looking for. someone who can help her.

there’s an old priestess taking care of it all on her own, and all around her dart spirits, some lingering, some running by and doing nothing more than patting her on the shoulder or back, but all of them acknowledging her in some way. she takes one look at chihiro and says, “looking for an apprenticeship, then?”

her parents start to say no, but she interrupts them, says, “yes, i am,” and her parents don’t understand, but they have no reason to deny her, so they don’t.

“it’s been a while since i’ve seen someone else who was spirit touched,” she says the first day that chihiro returns, this time on her own.

“what happened to you?” she asks, and knows the old priestess will understand. those with the ability to interact with the spirit world aren’t born. they’re made.

“a spirit saved my life as a child,” she answers. “you?”

she grins. “a river spirit saved me. once when i was younger, and then again just a few months ago. i’m going to back to him.”

“returning willingly to the spirit world is foolish, and dangerous,” she says, but there’s something like approval in her eyes.

“yes,” she says, “teach me how to survive it.”

so the priestess does. chihiro becomes known to the local spirits, helping them however she can just like the old woman. plenty of guardian spirits offer to attach themselves to her, to mark her as under their protection, but she always refuses. there’s only one spirit who’s mark she’s willing to carry.

years pass, and chihiro grows, from a girl to a young woman. she grows up strong, and beautiful, and thanks to her years under the priestess, she grows up powerful. she learns how to shoot arrows that cut spirits and to write spells on rice paper, she learns every inch of the forests around her home and the spirits that dwell there, and on the day she graduates high school she moves into the temple.

but she’s not planning to stay.

“i hope he’s worth it,” the priestess tells her.

chihiro grins, sharp and eager, and says, “i guess i’m going to find out.”

she walks into the woods and slips through one of the places where the border is too thin, and enters the spirit world once more. she has her bow and her ink, and this time she’s not going to be easy prey, she’s not going to be someone that has to be saved or coddled.

she’s come here for her dragon, and she won’t let anything get in her way. it’s haku, and haku alone, who will be able to turn her away. if he rejects her, she’ll leave. but for no other reason.

it takes her a long time to get to the bathhouse, to fight and bargain her way there, because before it was an obstacle, so it came to her easily, but now it’s a goal, so this world holds it back from her. but she won’t let it stay out of her grasp forever. when she arrives she’s filthy and tired and half her arrows are missing, her clothes are different, and she’s older. by how much she doesn’t know, because time isn’t the same in here, but she’s not the same girl who entered.

the whole realm is talking of her, of the human who walks among them and won’t be chased away, of the girl who marched across the endless marshes until she reached the end, something few ever manage, and then just kept going. who aids those in need and destroys those who stand in her way.

when she walks through the bathhouse doors, haku is there.

“it’s you,” he says, eyes wide, and he looks older too, like breaking free of yubaba’s curse finally allowed him to grow up. “i didn’t think it could be. i didn’t think it was possible.”

she marches forward, grinning, and grips the front of his snow white shirt with her muddy hands. “anything is possible. you taught me that.”

she kisses him, exhausted and filthy and feeling more alive than she ever has. she kisses him like it’s the last thing she’ll ever do, because it just might be, because if she angers him, then he could easily kill her.

he doesn’t kill her.

he kisses her back.

chihiro gets exactly what she wanted – her friends, a place in the spirit world, and a reputation as someone who’s dangerous, even as a human.

and her dragon husband, of course. she gets that too.

fma fic idea:

ed literally CAN NOT deal with his brother stuck in a suit of armor for years and years it hurts him more than losing his limbs and automail ever could. he wishes over and over again that he could give his body to al - then he goes  LIGHTBULB and so during that year that he’s recovering he studies and studies and they all think it’s to get al’s body back but not quite.

and like 6 months in he’s like okay i think ive figured it out and he can kinda stand and walk around and what not so he’s like al cmere im going to try something. they’re all like ????? and ed tugs down his pants and on his hip is a scar. a very familiar, precise scar. ed had carved al’s seal into his flesh then let it heal and done it again again until it had scarred just like he’d wanted it to. winry screams and threatens to strangle him and ed is like ‘pls stop’ and al gets it then and if he could cry he would and he asks ed over and over again if he’s sure and ed just tells him to shut up, claps his hands together and presses them to al’s seal

then next thing he knows he’s staring down at himself and the first thing he says is “i am short” and is immediately horrified and the first thing al does is throw himself down on the ground to feel grass between his fingers and hugs winry to feel skin and now he is crying because he can

and so this is how they survive this, by sharing ed’s body between them. ed tried to say it should be 50/50 but al refused so ed is in his own body for 2 weeks then al is in it for 1 week and they don’t tell anyone because they’re not insane. and when ed’s sleeping weird places or eating a ton it’s actually usually al. their wildly different personalities would be a problem, except that they’re still children and like twins who switch places they get a giant kick out of it. al loves pretending to be loud and angry and having a fly away temper and it’s all ed can do to go chasing after al shouting ‘brother!’ trying to act disapproving but inside he is laughing so damn much

there’s no negative effects, nothing goes wrong. they don’t knows this, but it’s actually helping, because their souls gain a stronger connection and ed’s body spends a whole lot more time sleeping and eating then it would otherwise so al’s body is actually getting a reasonable-ish about of nutrients and sleep behind the gate. also every time ed switches their souls it’s like he’s renewing the seal so al’s soul never gets loose and isn’t going to be rejected form the armor.

then al remembers the gate and can do hands free alchemy, which is awesome, because now they can go into battle in each other’s bodies when before they always needed to hastily switch back otherwise people would start asking questions. it becomes something so easy and natural between them, and more than once ed’s been up late studying with his eyelids drooping, exhausted past the point of reason but unwilling to stop. and he just goes ‘al, come here, sleep for me so i can finish this book’ an al loves sleeping so he’s like ‘fuck yeah’

al doesn’t need to make a list of things to eat and experiences to do because he gets to experience them all, it’s just you know, keeping up a timeshare of his brother’s body isn’t realistic and he’d really like his own back, thanks.

and they don’t have secrets, obviously, can’t when they spend half the time running around in the other’s body. except ed kind of develops a crush on mustang and roy’s confused with all these mixed signals?? because sometimes ed looks at him like he wants to eat him and other times there’s nothing???? but one day ed says screw this and he and roy end up making out and all that and kinda sort of start a relationship ish and ed means to tell al, he does, he just can’t bring himself too. so it’s 2 weeks of dating roy and he switches their bodies, and still hasn’t told him. they’re spending the day away from base so ed doesn’t worry about it, is like okay, i’ll tell al tomorrow this is not a big deal i can handle this

except they’re, i don’t know, in the market or the library or something and roy sees ed is and internally like ed! ededed! <3 <3 <3 but he has to pretend to be cool so he corners ed and kisses him and is shocked and hurt when ed pushes him away and ed just stares at him for a long moment before howling “oh my GOD you and brother are DATING?”

and they don’t call roy a genius for nothing so he’s like “…. alphonse?” and ed goes really pale and and then al’s armour rounds the corner like ‘brother! what’s wrong i heard you yell - “ and he sees them and goes “oh shit” and roy is like “EDWARD???”

and it’s like fuck, after about 5 years of playing this game they’ve been caught. and so roy drags them back to the office and everyone gathers’ round while they explain and eds like ‘you should have just gone along with it al, jeez’

‘gone along with it?’ al in ed’s body screams, ‘the COLONEL KISSED ME’ and then he goes kinda pale and whispers ‘my first kiss was the colonel so unfair i don’t even like boys’

and havoc, breda, and maes take this opportunity to excuse themselves so they can die laughing in the hallway while ed and roy look kinda embarassed and riza just. regrets everything. why is this idiotic pyromaniac her best friend again???

and things settle down and continue on and roy is very, very careful about who’s in ed’s body when in the future. and al eventually gets his body back and it’s not sickly and dying its just kind of underfed, so this isn’t too bad. and the very first thing he does is tacklE winry to the ground and they lock themselves in her room for like four hours because timeshare of ed’s body or not none of them had felt comfortable with them having sex with al in his body, and winry even had to close her eyes when they’d kissed.

and their souls have mingled so much that al and ed are almost telepathic with each other which they think is the coolsest thing ever and literally everyone else despises because they only abuse their new powers to be brats, because that’s what the do, obviously

and everyone lives happily ever after the end

Lady Keladry of Mindelan

i’ve just finished reading the protector of the small series for the dozenth time, and i’m just … i can’t help but imagine how the rest of her life pans out

raoul says that giving kel all that she asks for within reason to build her new refugee town is the crown’s way of saying they’re sorry for putting her people in danger. but the crown doesn’t care about her people, can’t care about five hundred refugees when there’s a whole war being waged.

they’re not saying sorry for endangering the refugees.

they’re thanking kel for winning the war.

no one can acknowledge what she did, running from her post into enemy land to save her people was treason, and those that followed her (besides dom’s squad) committed treason too. they can’t acknowledge what she did, because then they would have to punish her for it, and they’re not going to do that. so giving her more supplies is their way of saying thanks, the only way they’ll knows she’ll accept, this painfully practical girl who always, always puts others before her own self-interest.

she killed blayce, and stopped the killing machines, the only things that stood in the way of tortall winning the war. she marched into scanra with a ragtag group and did in a couple weeks what the rest of the realm hadn’t been able to do for over a year.

the tales they must tell of the lady knight, of keladry of mindelan.

they took her people, stole them right from under her nose. so she marched into the heart of war and took them back, rather than follow orders she flung herself like an arrow into enemy territory and killed the famous mage that had stolen them, saved the adults, and then kept going and saved all the children too. she didn’t leave anyone behind. she refused to leave anyone behind.

commoners trust her, like her. they know that if they follow the lady knight she won’t abandon or abuse them. kel has this gift for making everyone around her shine a little brighter, she brings out the best in people.

her maid lalasa becomes the best seamstress in tortall and opens up her own dress shop, making dresses for the queen and other noble ladies. kel picks up an abused boy from an inn, one touched my horse magic, and he finally gets to use his gift, sharpens himself with it, and learns weapons.

she hates praise, is only trying to work and do right by those around her. but just as raoul told her when she was a squire, she’s a commander, a natural leader, and people flock to her.

i like the idea of kel accidentally becoming powerful. not with the nobles, but with the commoners. whispers travel fast, and everyone knows about kel, soon commoners she’s never met trust her with their lives, will follow her orders when they’d follow no other’s, just based on what they’ve heard, what they know she’s done for others.

kel could single handedly lead the commoners in a rebellion against the crown, if she so desired. she doesn’t. she’s loyal to the crown, and if she’s unsure how she feels about their current king and queen, she knows how she feels about roald and shinkokami.

toby eventually goes to work in the palace as a horse breeder and trainer. every time kel or her squire (she has several, over the years. after her first stunningly successful squire, the crown quietly offers her a gold purse for every squire she takes on so she can afford to outfit them. she tries to protest, but they only call it an investment – those under her tutelage always prove invaluable to the crown) need a horse, he’s the one who supplies them, and he won’t accept any payment. kel tries to argue, but toby only laughs at her. she raised him after she took him in, and he calls her mother more often than not, and refuses anything she tries to give him.

it’s like lalasa, who after all these years as a fabulously wealthy and famous designer and seamstress, still mends the holes in kel’s clothes, still fits her for everything she wears, and makes her dresses whenever she has an occasion to wear them. and still won’t take anything for her work.

they are the rule, not the exception. kel becomes the person who “knows a guy” for almost everything, and there seems like there always some sort of tradesperson or someone who knows someone who feels indebted to kel. the king jokes they could replace their spy network just with the friends kel’s made on the road, and she’s appalled.

when she’s older, and had spent decades fighting, they offer her a position – the pages’ training master.

under her, the pages are stronger, smarter, kinder. the knights who’d complained about her appointment shut up when they take her pages on as squires.

kel enjoys fighting. but she loves teaching, and it shows. as much as wyldon had disliked this position, kel loves it.

and when it all threatens to overwhelm her – her best friend, sir nealan, is just down the hall. he and yuki live at the palace, where he divides his time between teaching magic classes to those pages who have the gift, and assisting in the infirmary.

and they all live happily ever after.

JUST CAN I SAY that the grunman-mustang-elric line of mentoring when it comes to reputations means so much to me. by which i mean:

grunman is a shrewd, calculating ambitious man who masks his true self by appearing to be silly and frivolous and easily distracted. roy was serious and forthcoming about his emotions and political views during the ishvalan war, but i think it was under general grunman that he learned that crafting a devil may care, harmless air was more beneficial than being honest and forthcoming. and ed was the same i think, serious and intent with his goals when he first joined military, and he had his moments of childishness, sure, but he was on a serious mission and he took himself very seriously.

but what if he saw mustang, and he knew what mustang had done in the war, if not specifically, could see the wariness he was greeted with - and saw the way that wariness gave way to incredulity when mustang acted like an idiot. ed is very, very clever when it comes to people. he picked up on roy’s ambitions by the end of his state alchemist assessment with bradley. so i think it’d be pretty easy for him to pick up on how people relaxed around roy and didn’t take him seriously because of his reputation and how that actually made it easier for roy to get away with a ton of crap.

so ed does the same - he’s a child soldier, emphasis on child, talking too loud, making a mess. he crafts the reputation of always being too much trouble, bratty and annoying and a terrible subordinate. and the brass leaves him alone. people go from envying roy his child genius to pitying him, and ed always, always completes his mission. just in the most destructive and immature way possible, and no way in hell is that an accident. ed is playing a delicate balancing act for both al’s safety and roy’s.

ed does this by being brat, just like roy does it by pretending to be a ladies man and grunman does it by pretending to be an old coot. but actually all three of them are incredibly ambitious, focused, powerful, clever men.

but putting all them in room together produces the biggest headache in the world, because until they drop they’re guard they’re just straight up obnoxious with each other, grunman waving fans about and roy waxing poetic about imaginary women and ed pouting and shouting and stomping his feet

then like a switch being flipped they’re intent and sober and terrifying like few other people could ever be

just. some hilarious and scary shit all wrapped up in one package, and a method unintentionally passed down to now encompass three generations of dangerously powerful morons

okay so like, in the inuyasha verse, demons straight up …. don’t age

like inuyasha is two hundred years old, but like fifteen? and sesshomaru is over five hundred years old and like …. twenty? twenty five maybe?

what i’m saying is kagome is from five hundred years in the future, and unless something horrific happened? inuyasha and sesshomaru and idk maybe shippo is still kicking. and like on one hand inuyasha’s half demon, so this shouldn’t work on him at all, but also like? he’s not your average half demon, and he ages just as slowly as his brother does.

i don’t think they’d even be old?? like maybe shippo because he’s not a powerful and noble dog demon, but inuyasha absolutely looks to be in his mid twenties, while sesshomaru now looks to be barely pushing thirty, and wow, he Sure Is Bitter About It.

shippo looks to be in his fifties, and anytime sesshomaru or inuyasha complain about aging he wants to just. straight up murder them. but even after five hundred years he can’t even scratch them, so he just grumbles and complains about it instead.

and the low level demons? those died out a few hundred years ago. but the high class ones are still fine, are still living amongst humans like nothing has changed and everything is normal. they either hide out or pretend to be one of them. and around the time the brothers realized that thanks to their unusually long lifespans (even among noble demons) they were going to be the only people they didn’t outlive, they also start integrating themselves in with the humans. because inuyasha doesn’t believe in backing down, and sesshomaru wasn’t going to hang back while his little brother charged forward and called him a coward. so they have old money thanks to hundred of years of investments, and they don’t need to work.

whenever there’s a war they go to the front lines, because why wouldn’t they, they were warriors for so long before they were anything else. but they don’t like acting like mercenaries, they don’t hire themselves out to foreign nations, so that’s a whole lot of time spent doing nothing. both of these brothers are oh so bad at doing nothing.

sesshomaru becomes a doctor. he hadn’t meant to, at first he was just doing research on medicinal plants, had just been trying to do something to finally understand tensusaiga, because after all these years he has a much more strained relationship with his sword than inuyasha has with his. but about two hundred years later he’s respected surgeon, and every fifty years or so he has to change his name and move, has to use some cleverly applied youkai so no one connects the dots, but it doesn’t matter. he’s the best.

and inuyasha does a little of everything, becomes an expert in so many things and eventually grows bored in all of them. he’s has more masters and doctorates than he could possibly need, in such a large variety of subjects that it’s almost comical

so one day kagome is accompanying her grandmother to an appointment, and the doctor walks inside and –

for a moment’s it’s double vision. first she sees nothing out of the ordinary, an extremely handsome young man with dark hair and eyes, and his long hair pulled into a ponytail at the base of his neck, who looks kind of a familiar in a way she can’t place. but she’s a born priestess, so that layer is peeled away and underneath is white hair and golden eyes and markings along his face. underneath it is sesshomaru.

“is something wrong, miss?” he asks her, eyebrow raised, and she shakes her head and rubs at her eyes, but he’s still … there. but he can’t be, but he is, and kagome just sits silent and confused.

They go to leave, and she’s just going to chalk this up to lack of sleep, but the door opens and a young man is leaning against the wall, arms, crossed, in a loud red business suit. it’s the same double vision with him, but even worse. because it’s inuyasha in his human form, black hair and violet eyes, but under that it’s just him, as a half demon. only he doesn’t look her age anymore, he looks older, like an adult.

“yasha,” the doctor says, surprised, and she has to be hallucinating, none of this can be real. “what are you doing here? is something wrong?”

“hey, ru. i was in the area for a meeting, just swinging by to see if you could grab lunch. you work too hard.” he turns to them and smiles, courteous and restrained in a way her inuyasha never is, and says, “i’m sorry to disturb you.”

her grandmother says it’s fine, that they were leaving. but she can’t move, can’t breathe, and inuyasha and the man who has to be sesshomaru are looking at her, frowning, but then inuyasha takes a deep breath and his eyes widen.

kagome?”

and sesshomaru takes a step back and her grandmother stops talking and asks, “do you two know each other?”

“yes,” she says, an answer to both of them.

and look, okay, i don’t know how this goes from here, maybe inuyasha and sesshomaru visit the past, maybe kagome just starts hanging out with adult inuyasha and shippo all the time, maybe nothing happens and inuyasha and sesshomaru are halfway across the country with new names the next day

but i can’t stop thinking about it

emilise284  asked:

PLEASE talk about your villain!saitama au

OKAY wow you’re going to regret this ask but honestly I’M DELIGHTED

so disclaimer i haven’t read the manga, just seen the anime, and picked up manga bits and pieces here and there. so in this au:

saitama is a villain

he’s really fucking bad at being evil

like so, so bad at being bad. so saitama was a hero for like a week okay and he went this is boooooring i’m booooooorrrreeeeeeddd. and because people just love to turn on him for some reason, and he kept saving everyone - like he does - and he just kept getting blamed so he went you want me to be a villain? FINE

and the association got really worried but saitama literally just traded his yellow jumpsuit for a black one and started laughing maniacally inbetween punches. he literally didn’t change his behavior any other way, and soon he’s known as the strongest villain ever. smart monsters hesitate to attack z city because that’s saitama’s turf, his city, and he doesn’t take kindly to interlopers. but there are lots of people who don’t want to be a big dog, but work for a big dog. so saitama accidentally gets all these eager criminal minions and is like, well, i am supposed to be a villain. so he starts setting non fatal “hits” on people and sending his crews to attack banks and take all the money and destroying specific buildings.

except every person he has his henchmen beat up is an abusive ex, a child beater, a rapist, a dirty cop - all these people that sift through the legal system because the city is being attacked every other week by literal monsters. the money from the banks was dirty, and (after paying his henchman a very competitive wage, because it is actually possible to buy loyalty if you do it right) he gives the rest away. he still lives in his studio apartment, still goes shopping for deals on saturday. all the “random” buildings he destroys are involved in on corrupt deal or another. oh, yeah, saitama knows all this because he has the most intense underground criminal network no one has ever thought of - all those grandmas he goes deal hunting with on saturday know everything about everyone. he spends a lot of time hanging out with old ladies, only part of it to maintain his spy ring.

so saitama accidentally on purpose turns his hodgepodge criminal organization into some vigilante justice group. they all know it but none of them are willing to bring it up because hey - they’re well paid, they work for the #1 s-ranked villain, and saitama has never killed any of them. this is the best gig any of them have ever had, and they’re not willing to mess it up by pointing out that they’re one of the good guys.

but saitama is bored again. his life as a the most notorious villain of z city is so-so.

then he runs into genos.

genos who knows of saitama because of course he does, but meets him in the middle of some battle or something and is instantly aware that something is off. saitama is cheerful and funny (and hot) and somehow leaves the battleground having caused no casualties, having killed the monster that nearly killed a bunch of s ranked heroes, and somehow saitama is still being blamed for it all. genos is intrigued.

he goes to bang about it, trying to find out how evil saitama really is. instead this conversation happens: “actually his death count is zero.” “what” “i think he was just bored. he was a hero for a bit-” “he was a HERO?” “-but it didn’t work out. it’s not his thing. he really hated those weekly quotas.” “…you’re joking.”

and he starts stalking saitama, and is BAFFLED by his normal lowkey lifestyle. finds out that saitama regularly “kidnaps” king so they can hang out and play video games and no one even goes after him anymore. starts hanging out with him, which he thought would be harder, but instead he just offered to help him carry home groceries and saitama agreed and then they were talking about a random show and the next thing genos knew he was in the notorious villain saitama’s studio being made dinner.

and this goes, with genos slowly peeling back the surface of it all to discover the truth. and he starts falling hard, harder than he thought he could fall, but it’s okay, because saitama is falling too. and soon everyone knows genos and saitama have a ~thing~ and he keeps waiting for the hero association to say something about it, but they don’t. what does happen, however, is that some monsters will see him and automatically surrender because they figure jail is nicer than they’d get if saitama figures out they hurt his boyfriend. it doesn’t happen often, but it happens enough for it to be a running joke.

so saitama stays the #1 villain, it’s just that now he has a hero boyfriend whom he adores and they are an adorable power couple; its disgustingly cute.

The Red Dragon Warrior

OKAY so on one hand i very desperately want to write this out properly, but on the other i already have an akayona series that i’m writing, and multiple wips, so we’re going to do this instead:

yu-hon is not content to give up his seat to his younger brother. he loves him, but he believes that he will lead kouka to ruin. so, when yona is seven years old, yu-hon leads a coup and kills his younger brother to take the throne.

yona sees this, and escapes, runs away crying. she runs into hak, he sees people are chasing her and throws them both into the nearest room – soo-won’s.

soo-won is woken from his sleep by his two best friends barging into his room, and then hak puts his hand over soo-won’s mouth. he looks into his eyes, but only sees confusion, and hak relaxes. hak is only nine, still a kid, but he’s smart. he knows what’s happening. he tells soo-won to say nothing, that yona;’s life depends on it, and says nothing else. soo-won agrees, wants to help, but hak says the most important thing is for soo-won to pretend that nothing has happened, that everything is fine, nothing is wrong. hak manages to smuggle yona out of the palace, and he means to follow her, but the guards see him, and instead he slams the door shut behind her. he says he was going for a walk, he couldn’t sleep, asks if something is wrong? the guards trade glances, but escort hak back to his room and tell him to stay there, and hak wants to scream and cry and go running after yona – but he can’t. so he goes back to his room, buries his face in his pillow, and hopes yona is okay, hopes she manages to get away.

she does. they don’t even think to search the forests until the next morning, and by then she’s already gone. maybe a kindly merchant offers her a ride to wherever he’s going, maybe she hides in the back of noble’s carriage, who knows, it’s not important. what is important is where she ends up – awa.

she makes her way to awa, somehow, and her father is dead and she’s a princess no longer, but even at seven she’s tougher than she looks. and she happens upon gi-gan, the captain of a pirate ship, and maybe she wanders onto her boat, maybe she’s kidnapped by some less nice pirates, but either way g-gan finds her.

gi-gan finds this girl who’s managed to survive this far, who is pampered and weak, but stubborn too, and she loves her. she knows who yona must be, knows what must have happened, but she doesn’t care about that. she cares about yona. so she offers yona a place on her ship, in her family, and lonely yona with nowhere else to go and no one else to turn to accepts.

yona grows up. she grow’s up a pirate captain’s daughter, and it’s hard work, there’s no room for laziness on gi-gan’s ship. especially from yona. she leads by example, just like gi-gan, and she does lead. as the captain’s daughter she becomes second in command, becomes just as firm and moral and grey as her mother.

when yona is twelve, when she’s finally getting into the swing of this whole pirate thing, jae-ha appears. he’s smiling, but it looks fake, and gi-gan is unimpressed. but yona feels drawn to him, for some reason, so she pushes herself forward, looks at this sixteen year old boy with strange hair and strange clothes, and offers him her hand.

he takes it.

Keep reading

lost prince merlin au

so i’ve had this story rolling around in my head for like, idk, 3 or 4 years but i’ll probably never get around to writing it

nimueh captures baby arthur a la sleeping beauty and hides him away. she gives him to a sterile couple who’d so desperately wanted a child, and they’re so grateful. nimueh, who at this point is a good witch, a kind person, says that all she asks for in return is that they raise this boy with respect for the olde ways, and that they name him arthur. the couple happily agrees, and thats the last they see of this kind witch.

uther rages - he’s lost his wife and his son and his hatred of magic is even more intense. nimueh returns and has a giant fight with uther and he tries to slice her head off but instead she gets the sword from him, plunges it into the stone steps in front of the palace, and says uther is unworthy of his title of king, since he’s so willing to murder so many of his loyal subjects. uther tries to pull the sword out, but can’t, and nimueh says only the true king of camlot will be able to remove that sword, and when her magic shimmers down on it becomes a golden hue, longer and more impressive, and ceases to by uther’s sword but is instead excaliber.

the couple who raise arthur have nothing but kindess and good things to say of magic, and his father who used to be in their lord’s army shows him how to use a blade, says that magic is just the same as steel - it can be a plow that provides for your family or a sword that cuts down your enemies.

so arthur grows up a farmer’s son, but he’s smart and talented and soon he’s practicing with the nobles’ sons, sneaking into their lessons and doing their homework in exchange for getting a chance to read their books. arthur soon becomes a better swordsman than they ever will be. he’s a pitiful farmer, but he’s smart and quick and no one can beat him with a sword in his hands, and soon it becomes clear to everyone, including the noble, that a life working the land is wasted on arthur, while his own sons are good warriors and tacticians but not great.

so the noble makes arthur and his family a deal - he’ll pay for arthur to go to the royal university in camelot, and in return arthur will come back and help manage the family land and finances. and this would breed jealousy in lesser men, but the noble’s son, leon, is a good man and so is his brother, and they love arthur as if they are his own kin. so when they go to camelot to become knights they bring arthur to be a scholar. and because they’ve already shared everything, they teach him the swordsmanship they’re being taught if for no other reason than arthur can do it better, and teach them too. then one day arthur takes a wrong turn in the castle and stumbles into merlin doing a spell and merlin panics and gaius panics and arthur is just like chill i have no problem with this, but also you’re doing magic in the palace are you brain dead???

and merlin and arthur become best friends, and arthur somehow ends up upon morgana as she’s sobbing, and he manages to figure it out, and he reassures her that magic isn’t all bad, a witch gave him to his family, and he teaches morgana what he was taught, that magic is nothing more or less than a tool to be wielded. and everything’s fine up until one day uther stalks down to practice and leon sees uther and arthur side by side and is like ????

and eventually leon and merlin are convinced that arthur is the missing prince and arthur is convinced they’re insane. this all culminates when arthur is practicing with the knights and uther stumbles upon them and loses his SHIT like a commoner is training in MY royal house? and he’s like i’ll show you a real knight, boy, and attacks arthur with his sword. only arthur is really, really good so he and uther end up fighting all the way to the palace steps and they’ve attracted a crowd of peasants and nobles, leon and merlin included

and the king finally disarms arthur and swings to kill him, but arthur reaches for the sword that no one’s ever been able to move and pulls it out

and he swings excaliber up and disarms uther and there’s no putting this genie back in the bottle, because most of camelot just saw arthur pull the sword from the stone, something only their lost prince can do

leon is the first to bow, because something inside him always knew, and then the rest bow and uther is staring at this boy whom he nearly killed and who’s his son and

and arthur is the most beloved in all the land, because he’ll die a king but he was raised a commoner, and he intimately knows the struggles they face. and uther doesn’t know what to with this boy, he’s nothing and everything like the son he wanted so badly, and somewhere nimueh smiles, because she’s gotten her revenge in the best way possible

(arthur marries gwen because no noble lady will lead the people the way he wants them led, but takes merlin as a lover, and gwen takes lancealot as a lover and everyone’s very happy with their choices. arthur’s adopted parents don’t leave their village, and keep farming, but now it’s only because they want to since arthur provides everything for them and visits at least twice a year. merlin is his chief sorcerer, morgana his head priestess, and on the day of his coronation nimueh stands at the back of the crowd and bows with all the rest)

anonymous asked:

Hello! You don’t have to answer this or you could decline because im on mobile and I can’t read anything and it’s stupid, but do you think you could write more of the hp drabble where Draco’s also a parselmouth?

draco’s been keeping a secret his whole life, from his parents, from his friends, from everyone. people thought poorly enough about the malfoy family already, he wasn’t going to make it any worse. he’ll just have to deal with this alone.

except in second year, the dueling club happens, and he’s completely thrown by what happens there. he can’t stop thinking about it.

the next day he corners potter when he’s away from his friends, concentrates for a moment, and asks “you too?”

in parseltongue.

draco thought he was the only one, but clearly he was wrong.

draco is so fucking elated that the golden boy is a parseltongue, because if harry potter is a parseltongue, then that means it can’t be bad, can’t be evil, not if harry has it too. he swears harry to secrecy, and harry agrees because they haven’t been truly awful to each other yet, they’re enemies, but just when harry thought there was something else to mark him as different, as other, here is someone else who’s like him. even if it’s draco malfoy, he’ll take what he can get.

and he and draco sneak out to the forbidden forest together, and draco has known about this for years, has been practicing for years. “practicing?” harry asks, confused, “what’s there to practice? it’s just speaking snake.”

draco rolls his eyes, because what a muggle raised simpleton. “of course it’s not just speaking snake. when you told that snake not to bite justin, do you think it listened out of a sense of courtesy? because it was trying to be polite? of course not. you compelled it too. that’s what being a parselmouth really means. being able to control snakes, not just speak to them.”

harry’s horrified, and this is why it’s considered a dark skill, because it takes away free will. not just in snakes, a truly gifted parseltongue can do it to humans too, can weave compulsion into their voices, more subtle and powerful than imperio.

how many of voldemort’s followers believed in him, and how many had been compelled into following him? it’s impossible to say. it’s how so many people got away without punishment – they claimed to have been compelled by voldemort, and there was no way to prove otherwise.

“do you compel people?” harry asks warily.

“i’m thirteen,” he snaps, “i can barely get magical snakes to listen to me, never mind real people. one step at a time.”

“so you would compel people, if you could?” he presses.

draco shrugs, unrepentant. “wouldn’t you? it’s a nice security blanket, knowing if someone ever tries to hurt you or the people you care about that you’ll be able to stop them. it’s … nice.”

harry can’t argue with that. what wouldn’t he do, to keep his friends safe?

so he practices with draco, and the snakes of the forest seem to know him, delight in his presence. it’s not all compulsion, because draco switches easily between the two, just talking to the snakes one moment and then ordering them around in the next. there’s a difference between the two, and it’s small, but he can hear it.

“i don’t know if i want to learn how to compel anything,” he admits, “it seems wrong.”

“relax.” draco says, rolling his eyes. “we’re both a long way off being able to compel actual people, if we ever can. we know voldemort can, but there’s debate about whether salazar slytherin himself could even manage it.”

“it seems wrong to take free will away from the snakes too, even if we never get to people,” he says stubbornly, ready to dig his heels in if he needs to.

instead draco turns to him, surprised, then smiles. “come on. you can ask their permission first if it will make you feel better, but i personally find lower level snakes a bore to listen to.”

draco turns and walks deeper into the forest, an ever growing parade of snakes slithering after him even though harry hadn’t heard him tell them to do anything special.

he hurries to catch up, lest he be left behind

anonymous asked:

Hello! I love your writing! Even the fics in fandoms or about pairings that I'm not usually into! It just makes me want to go and write and try to reach your standard :) I was wondering, would you ever do maybe an FMA/HP crossover ? Or FMA/YOI crossover ?? Or a crossover in general? They're pretty hard to do I think. But you'd ace it, because I'm sure if you did, it would be the best darn crossover and I'd love you

thank you that’s so sweet to say!!!!

okay so here’s the thing: i don’t LOVE crossovers usually, it takes a certain something to get me invested, and i one hundred percent don’t have a full fic in me. but –

edward elric, the cleverest wizard of his age. edward elric, who is just as extraordinary in this as he is everything else. he’s a hufflepuff, of course he is, you’d think he’d be a ravenclaw except literally the only thing more important to him than knowledge is loyalty and fairness  and what’s right. so.

he’s quiet and even surrounded by people he seems alone and there’s more than one slytherin vying for his attention, desperate to claim some of that shining talent for their own. but he rebukes them all, has no patience for stupidity or being used or political games. he’s the son of a muggle and a long absent wizard, and his brother – his brother is a squib.

edward hates hogwarts, hates the time he’s forced to spend away from his family. he has a single friend, winry, a fast talking ravenclaw, and she’s the only one who can pull genuine smiles from him.

his house doesn’t dislike him, but they know he likes to be left alone and they respect that. he gets them more points with perfect spells and perfect essays than any other student, so they like him and he’s never mean or rude, just quiet, so they all have a general sense of goodwill towards him but aren’t really friends. except alex armstrong who bursts into tears whenever he seems him, because armstrong is the hufflepuff quidditch captain and ed refuses to be the team’s seeker, or anything at all, even though anyone who’s seen him on a broom knows he’s just as capable and talented at it as anything else.

and lets talk about ed’s talent. ed who midway through first year got bored and started doing spells wordlessly. then wandlessly. who spends every waking moment in the library studying who the hell knows what because it’s certainly not classwork. he does all his spells without a wand or word now, no one has seen him even touch a wand since his second year. and it’s fear and awe that mark him too, because even dumbledore keeps track of his wand, uses it if he doesn’t have to, but ed doesn’t bother. he got straight Os in all his owls and he never pays attention in class but can answer any question or perform any spell asked of him so it’s not like the teachers can do anything with that.

then there’s slytherin seventh year roy okay, and his merry band of people – slytherin maes, gryffindor riza, gryffindor havoc, falman and fuery in raveclaw, breda in hufflepuff. and he’s fascinated by ed, they all are, who wouldn’t be? roy’s the quidditch captain for the slytherin team and hast to listen to armstrong cry at least once a week about ed’s wasted potential.

then the triwizard tournament happens. whole schools are submitted, and the best is chosen from each. everyone expects it to be roy – handsome, popular, powerful, with a special studies in fire spells.

roy knows better. he doesn’t say anything but he’s not surprised at all when edward elric’s name pops out of the goblet. the hufflepuffs are going crazy, and roy makes sure to cheer just as loudly with them.

the other two champions are rose, a quiet girl with a friendly smile, and ling, a not-quiet boy who already spends all his free time attempting to irritate ed into being friends with him, and this isn’t going to help at all.

so the first task happens. the dragons. ling uses a freezing spell to slow the beast down and gets a broken arm and a gash down his side for his trouble, but gets the egg. rose conjured a flock of birds to distract it and went for an egg, but the dragon used a puff of fire to kill the birds and burn half of rose’s body in a singe breath. but she gets the egg.

then it’s ed’s turn. he stands there, staring. does nothing. he takes a step forward. waits. takes another. waits. takes another, and the dragon rears up against him, so he takes a step back. she quiets back down, and he waits, and takes another step forward. that’s what he does. for hours. people have literally fallen asleep in their seats by the time ed has worked his way to the dragon’s nest, being watched carefully but not attacked, being trusted, and picks up the golden egg. the dragon’s nostrils flare and ed holds it up for her inspection, and she realize it’s not her egg at all, and settles back down, and ed backs up and away.

and that’s how ed gets the dragon egg with not a single bit of a magic and without a scratch on him.

roy wonders why ed is even bothering to compete, because he doesn’t seem that invested in it. the other champions are seen studying and practicing, are found with their professors colluding and working. ed continues on as if nothing has happened.

then the second task takes place. ed shows up late but he shows up furious, and roy wonders who it was that they took, because he can see winry sitting anxiously in the stands below him. ed reaches into his sleeve and takes out his wand and roy goes rigid in his seat and maes lets out a curse besides him. ed hasn’t used his wand in four years, hasn’t needed to, and if he’s using it now –

he says a spell they can’t hear and makes large encompassing swish – and then the entire great lake is lifted into the air.

the lakebed is dry and edward suspends the massive ball of water and merpeople and giant squid likes it’s nothing, is holding aloft something bigger than the hogwarts castle, and ed uses his other hand to point and direct, is doing two spells simultaneously, and roy didn’t even know that was possible. a hole opens up in the lake and a mer-person drops out, screaming. then another. then another. the screams are so high and so awful that roy is certain he’s going to have nightmares about it.

“give him back,” he says, voice clear and rippling with banked fury. “give him back

and a merperson swims to the edge, holding out a sleeping boy that looks remarkable like edward. ed lets the lake drop back to earth with a thunderous wave that soaks the judges. the boy comes gasping awake, still suspended in the air, and ed levitates him gently to the ground. the other champions are still in the lake.  the boy clings to ed, wet and shivering, and ed presses a kiss to his forehead and glares at the judges table. they give him a perfect score, shaken by what they’d seen as much as the students, and they march away.

later, roy and company worm their way into a conversation in the library, where ed sits with his brother going through a book in a language roy doesn’t recognize. “so,” he says awkwardly, now with two sets of scarily intelligent eyes fastened on him, “that was an impressive spell.”

ed snorts and rolls his eyes. “spells,” he scoffs, “great big waste of time if you ask me. wave a stick and say some words and you too can do the same damn spell as thousands before you. pathetic.”

“oh,” maes says, taken aback and wide eyed, “that’s uh,” he looks to alphonse, grimaces, and goes, “okay.”

“he’s not saying that because I’m a squib,” al says, “he’s just a nerd who like things that can be quantified and explained. magic isn’t really his thing.”

roy stares. the most powerful wizard he’s ever seen, and magic isn’t his thing.

“fuck flamel,” he snarls, “if he didn’t insist i get my newts before taking me on as an apprentice – he didn’t make you wait to begin learning!”

“but i cant do magic,” al says reasonably, “besides, i’m learning from his daughter now. we’ll learn from him together when you graduate.”

ed wrinkles his nose, “better hogwarts than izumi. i guess.”

“nicholas flamel?” falman breaks in, “you want to learn alchemy?”

“we want to master alchemy,” ed corrects, “the basics are easy enough, but flamel made a philospher’s stone. do you have any idea the level of mastery that takes?”

“we don’t really want to live forever,” al frowns, “but it is the ultimate test. we won’t rest until we make one.”

they all stare. “alphonse,” havoc says hesitantly, “are you – can you –“

he blinks, “of course. i may not be able to do it without circles like brother and flamel, but i’m not inept. that’s why i’m learning from izumi – she’s a squib and has to use circles too.”

“circles,” maes repeats, completely lost, “what?”

al sighs and takes out a piece of chalk, “like this,” and sketches out an array on the table. he grabs a notebook and puts it in the center, and with a crackle of energy its transformed into a bouquet of live flowers.

“nice trick of pulling water from the air,” ed says.

they’re all flabbergasted. “transfiguration?” maes asks.

“yeah sure,” ed rolls his eyes, “the same way cutting out a snowflake from a piece of paper is like origami.”

they keep staring. ed stares back. it’s the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

ed doesn’t win the tournament because he lets ling win for reason he refuses to explain, will only say that it was more important to him.

roy pesters and irritates ed until he agrees to teach him alchemy, and even grudgingly says roy has a knack for it. so he sets it up that when al and ed are studying with flamel roy is studying with his daughter, and he goes to ed and al whenever he gets confused because they’re at least less scary than izumi.

ed and al create the philosopher’s stone, and promptly destroy it. roy becomes a master of fire alchemy. they all live happily ever after.

anonymous asked:

I'm way too excited with your fem!ed fanfiction and I was wondering, hope its not an issue, if you have any headcanon about a fem!ed in the series like if it was canon? I don't think it would have changed the story since fem!ed is just as badass in my imagination but I was thinking in the interaction with other characters like Mustang and the crew, Hughes, Armstrong, Hohenheim, Winry and Alphonse himself, maybe Greed/Ling and the chimera? Sorry if I'm asking too much hope you don't hate me!!!

no worries! i’m happy to answer :)

hm so

mustang: does not realize ed is a girl until she come to take the state alchemists exam. honestly not even then, just thinks ed is an especially pretty boy. ed realizes this about two seconds in and tells al not to call her sister around mustang because she wants to see how long it takes him to notice. six months later ed comes back from a mission and she’s thirteen and puberty has started to rear its ugly head and roy’s like HOLD ON A FUCKING MINUTE and for the rest of his life everyone makes fun of him for the fact that roy spent years of his life thinking ed was a boy. roy also gives himself a heart attack because of all the times he sent a GIRL into very dangerous places with bad men. and he tries to give her safe missions for two seconds until she threatens to castrate him if he doesn’t stop being a sexist dick. he stops being a sexist dick but he WORRIES and FRETS.

riza: she and ed are the only girls on the team. they are Best Friends. riza takes ed under her wing, and ed’s seen too much to be a child and riza’s not a mother, but they toe this line of best friend and sisters, and riza teaches her everything she needs to know about being a woman in the military and ed doesn’t want to be same type of military woman riza is, she’s too much of a brat or that, but she listens and pays attention and riza expected this to be a mentorship but by the time ed’s sixteen they are tried and true friends who spar together and get brunch and help each other get ready for dates.

havoc: the entirety of havoc and ed’s relationship is playful flirting mostly because it makes roy’s eye twitch. havoc is a country boy and goes “well hello there ma’am” to ed when she’s a tiny twelve year old and does silly stuff like say, “you’re looking awfully pretty today, miss elric,” in this thick southern twang thats not even close to natural. and it makes ed laugh and so she pretends to be delicate southern belle with him, places her hand over her mouth and going ‘why i never!” and by the time ed has grown into a beautiful young woman havoc is so used to playing this game with her that rumors run rampent that havoc and ed are dating. havoc tries to dispel them because now whenever he hits on girls they think he’s stepping out on ed, but whenever he tried to get ed to help out she just goes “honey, i thought we had something special!” VERY LOUDLY but she sets him up with her pretty friends so it evens out

hughes: ed is elycia’s dear big sister! to be honest he’s really grateful ed is there to be such a good role model for her. oddly goes less pap bear because somehow someway ed being a girl gives roy EVEN LESS chill and when she starts dating the nice wide eyed privates roy looks like he’d like nothing more than to incinerate them all.

armstrong: meets ed and is immediately reminded of olivier. gives ed the same treatment he gives his elder sister, which is hilarious. olivier meets ed and has never approved of someone so strongly in her life. her and olivier bond asap and its one hundred percent terrifying. whenever they’re all in central olivier, ed, and riza will go out together and it’s beauty and grace and terror.

ling/greed: oh poor ling. things go as they go but something in him tugs towards ed, and who can blame him. but he needs her so he still uses her like he does, but towards the end he’s just like - this woman is the type of woman i need one day. and he becomes greed and greed understand - ed is a precious, rare jewel that they must posses. so he offers to sleep with her for ling, and ling is FURIOUS but greed’s like chill, conquest is only fun when they come to your willingly. but ling makes him lay off, and but greed still flirts wit her a ton. which confuses her and makes her angry, because it’s not the dumb prince flirting with her, it’s the homunculi, and she likes both of them and they both like her and it’s just. really confusing. so she doesn’t worry about. then they go on the Great Camping Trip and Ling and Greed are RIGHT THERE and ling loves her, loves this girl of precious metal and fire who’s determined to save the whole damn world, and greed loves her greed “the whole damn world, huh? thats something i can get behind” and they tumble together one night and ed can’t keep track if it’s ling or greed inside her but it feels amazing and important and real when little else does.

and things go a little differently in the end. greed and ling separate but greed doesn’t die, he gets his old body back. and they all three go their separate ways, but -

ling is named emperor. and there are many beautiful woman being send to him as his brides, one form each clan, but they’re not who he wants. if he wants to be the leader no one has ever been, he has to do what they’ve never done. so he sends and envoy to central where ed is still serving in the amestrian military under fuher mustang and with and offer of marriage.

and ed accepts. she thinks she’s losing her mind but she accepts and becomes the official ambassador from amestris to xing and, oh yeah, empress of xing. which has a ton of responsibilities and really, ling, couldn’t you have picked on of your eleven other wives to be empress? no. and ling never touches his other wives, the role evolved from a concubine position to a political one, and each of his wives become spokespersons for their clans. and everyone is very wary of their immortal emperor and foreign empress, be ed dedicates herself to studying the language and the history and the alkahestry and becomes a master in the art herself and combined her and ling just. make so many good changes.

and then greed rolls up a few years in like hey i heard you guys were ruling a country how’s that going. and ed and ling don’t even have to think about it, they pounce greed and bring the homunculi to their bed and greed just. sticks around being the lover to the emperor and empress of xing.

and al and winry move to xing because fuck if they’re going to be left behind. and the entire country of xing is like ???? what is going on.

but eventually it becomes this Thing. like “hey didn’t drachma declare war on us or something?” “ye dont worry about it the emperor took care of it.” “how?? the army hasn’t been deployed.” “ye he sent the empress and her brother to take care of it.” “…our immortal emperor. who has a non-human, immortal lover, sent his mortal wife and brother in law to defeat AN ENTIRE DRACHMAN ARMY?” “yeah. we won. drachma took back their declaration of war and drafted a peace treaty instead.” “what the fuck.” “listen, i don’t pretend to understand. he’s not sleeping with his eleven wives from the clans, the empress spends half her time in the library, and no one has any idea what’s going on with the immortal monster with sharp teeth, but according to the rumors from the palace the emperor and empress are most definitely and loudly sleeping with him. but violence is down, poverty is down, literacy is up, and the chances of there ever being a draft seem pretty low considering our empress casually fights whole armies. whatever. they can do what they want its clearly working.”

(around the time ed turns 25 and ling still looks the same as when he was 15 it occurs to ling and greed that their lover isn’t immortal and they beg and plead and there are many many tears before ed agrees to become immortal too. she only does it because al tells her too.

by the time she’s 45 she figures out away to triple someones lifespan using alkahesrty but it’s dangerous and costly and terrifying. she uses it on al and winry who basically bitch for 300 years that she should have figured it out before they got arthritis, thank much)

chimera!ed wingfic

so im writing this ficlet thing in response to one of my followers talking about wingfic, but it got me thinking. so to be clear this is set in brotherhood and what if

what if it wasn’t nina that tucker used in his experiments. what if he did love his daughter like a father should, but he was still desperate and crazy so he trapped a 15 year old fullmetal alchemist and used him in his experiments

only ed is no ordinary test subject, is no ordinary alchemist even. he doesn’t need circles. so when tucker performs the transmutation ed cant’s stop it - but he can alter it. so every step of the way ed’s alchemy if chasing tucker’s, fixing it and repairing the grotesque nature of it along the way. and edward may only be 15 and he’s never intensively studied chimera alchemy, but he knows his biological alchemy and at the end of the day he was a better alchemist at 10 than tucker ever would be. so edward does it right, does it better.

alphonse figures out something is wrong and comes barrelling in with the military not far behind him, and what he finds is his brother furious and bleeding and tucker’s unconscious form in front of him. ed’s shirtless and his back is horrifying, two disturbingly deep gashes too close to his spine for comfort and he’s positively bathed in blood. but he’s alive and human and al and roy’s team is too stupidly grateful for that to question it much. so tucker is taken into custody and with some nudges from edward nina is taken in by hughes and gracia. it’s all chalked up to a close call until almost two weeks later when ed and al are on the other side of the east, back in resembool that he locks al and winry in a room with him, shaking he’s so scared, and looks at them and says, “please don’t freak out” when what he means is please don’t hate me

“brother?” al takes a step towards him and ed backs away. he tugs off his shirt, and turns his back to them. there’s still bandages on his back from tucker’s experiment. but inbetween one blink the next they’re ripped away and in there place are - are -

“fuck,” winry says, always the most polite of them, and edward flinches and can’t make himself turn around to face them. “fuck, ed, you - they’re gorgeous.”

that wasn’t what he was expecting. he hasn’t looked at himself in the mirror like this, but he should have. giant, beautiful, powerful wings unfurl from his back, and that would have been impressive enough, if they were wings of white or brown or black.

but they’re gold. the same shining gold as his hair and his eyes, feathers a color that no bird has in nature. “did tucker - “ al has to ask, because he saw tuckers’ notes. he couldn’t have down this.

ed winces and turns to face them, carefully curling his wings close to his body so he doesn’t knock anything over. “i - helped. it seemed better than the alternative.”

“you can just - make them disappear when you want?” winry asks, stepping forward to delicately trail her fingers over his feathers.

his mouth thins but then he does his best to fore a smile, “yes. but it’s - it hurts to not have them out. a lot.”

and al and winry share a look at this but say nothing. they’re both mourning this, because however beautiful it looks this is one more burden ed has to carry, another pain he has to endure, and they don’t know what his breaking point is. they don’t want to find out.

so they all keep it a secret, and it works until it doesn’t. and just imagine team mustang’s faces when in the middle of a fight edward busts out the wings and starts flying around their enemies, easily throwing a spear through their opponents from above

the first person to make a guardian angel joke gets punched

(its breda)

suicide squad as i would have written it:

cut out the enchantress entirely. totally unnecessary. we can keep rick flag. actually for the squad we should only have: harley quinn, deadshot, killer croc, captain boomerang, and el diablo. so the original setup is fine. whatever. but the villain shouldn’t be enchantress and her weird brother, but it should be: the joker

i can already hear you all groaning. remove jared leto from the equation for a moment, and bear with me. the joker cant find harley. the joker loves harley. not as person loves a person, but as a megalomaniac loves their most prizes possession. harley is his queen, the best thing he’s ever stole. he won’t let her be taken from him. so he starts just – killing people, bombing shit. he can’t find her and he’s furious. he demands her back, says he’ll destroy this whole damn world if they don’t give her back. because amanda waller is INSANE she sends the squad after him.

so rick flag has been given the leash to people he REALLY DOESN’T WANT TO HAVE LEASH FOR. but what’s to make us give a fuck about this man now that his lady love isn’t thrown up all in this mess? this is where diablo comes in.

so in the movie they have diablo be this peaceful reformed whatever. yawn. i don’t want him to be ghandi. i want him to be SUICIDAL. i want him to try killing himself day after day, i want that fireproof room there because he spends hours trying to burn himself to death, but always failing, because fire won’t be the thing that kills him. he hates himself, hate what he’s done, he killed his wife and children. there’s no coming back for him.

so the threat of death won’t keep him in line, not like it will with the others. so that’s why amanda calls in rick. rick flag, not the enchantress’s lover, but rick flag – el diablo’s brother in law. rick says you’re going to save the whole goddamn world and follow my orders, because you OWE ME. you killed my sister and my niece and my nephew, and you don’t get to just die and join them, you asshole. you have to do your penance first. and diablo agrees.

note: harley and deadshot hate diablo. there’s bad people, and then there’s bad people. and it doesn’t really matter that he didn’t mean it, he killed his wife and kids. deadshot cares about nothing in this world more than his daughter, and all harley wants is to settle down and have a family. both deadshot and harley are itching to put a bullet in this guy, and rick finds himself in the unenviable position of having to protect the superpowered asshole who killed his sister from the other assholes he’s in charge of.

so harley and deadshot become fast friends, just like in the movie. and boomerang is an asshole, but he likes a good time, he likes an adventure. this is fun. so they all go after the joker, and you bet your ass that everyone is calling amanda waller ten kinds of idiot for sending harley in after the joker. but they’ve all  got explosives in their neck, and if they don’t follow orders they die. so harley is playing this delicate game of at least giving the appearance of following orders while the joker does a lot of background shit to get her off her leash so she can come home. so in the meanwhile they’re fighting their way through joker’s traps and his goons, which is especially hilarious because at least twice they catch sight of harley and either give up or just run away screaming. hey, just like amanda says: harley does everything the joker does, but backwards and in high heels. the last thing anyone in joker’s crew (her crew) wants to do is fight her. so they run. and this goes like it does, boomerang blowing shit up and crock being silent, and diablo quietly doing as he’s told while harley and deadshot keep on helping each other out and having each other’s backs. (side note: croc and diablo develop a broship. boomerang remains the comic relief and is treated as a beloved if rabid dog)

so deadshot choosing not to kill harley was nice and all. but how about:

joker gets rid of all the kill switches, just because its easier to take them all out than one. he comes to get harley, who’s so fucking down to go. but she looks at deadshot with some regret, because it’s been so long since she’s had a real friend. this is a mistake. the joker notices and is instantly jealous, instantly furious. harley’s appeal is that she loves him more than anything else, to the exclusion of everything and everyone. so he turns the tables, points a gun a deadshot and tells harley to shoot him. she doesn’t want to, tries to convince him to let it go. but he won’t, says if she doesn’t kill deadshot, he will, and then he’ll kill her. if she loves him, she’ll kill deadshot. and deadshot gets harley, he understands her. so he says it’s okay, he wasn’t that keen to returning to prison anyway. “just take care of her for me, okay?” he says, not being specific, but she knows. he’s saying to take care of his daughter, he’s willing to die by her own hand so she can be with the man she loves and after that he’s still trusting her with his kid, the person he loves most in the world. and deadshot is her friend, but joker is her everything. so she picks up her gun and pulls the trigger and –

– shoots the joker dead.

and she’s sobbing and tries to point the gun on herself, because she just killed the love her life, but deadshot stops her and saves her, and he’s shocked and the squad is shocked and amanda waller is fucking floored. harley quinn just killed the joker. batman owes her a fucking fruit basket. and harley says “you’re not going back to prison” and pushes deadshot in to the getaway helicopter, and smooths back joker’s hair and reaches for his gun to point it at herself again but deadshot yells her name and so she leaves it all behind and gets in the chopper.

and harley quinn and deadshot escape. they don’t go far, they stay in gothem. joker’s crew was her crew too, and none of them skip a beat when she retakes her mantel, deadshot at her side. they all knew how her and the joker were, and she killed him. if any of them were willing to cross her before, they aren’t now. and deadshot straight up kidnaps his daughter from her abusive mother, sends her to the best schools and lives in a nice house with her. and during the day he’s still an assassin, still kills on command – harley’s command, specifically. and harley comes to the house, and deadshot’s daughter loves her, and harley gets what she wanted, if not who she thought she wanted it with: a life of crime and a family to come home to, the two things she loves. harley and deadshot rule the streets their way, and no one’s really sure if they’re good guys or bad guys or what. and no one stops them. because harley quinn killed the joker, and for the good guys it’s out of a sense of gratefulness and for the bad guys its from a sense of wariness, because now they know, or think they know.

god help anyone who disrespects the queen.

(then they break everyone else out and splash suicide squad across the city, because they’re not the good guys, but to quote one of my favorite shows: sometimes bad guys are the only good guys you get)

fem!ed/havoc happy au

@arrowsbane well i guess we’re going to just have to keep being inspired by each other. i read her amazing post HERE, which was in turn inspired by my post HERE and you don’t need to read any of these to read this, but can i just say –

holy shit. havoc/ed. what a brilliant fucking paring that i’ve never even thought of before. holy shit, it’s perfect.

so – to set the scene. trans female ed. trans ed who performed human transmutation not to bring anyone back to life (both her parents are alive, but gone, trisha was not content to be left behind this go around) but instead to give her the body she always desired. and she succeeds. she and al are still trained by izumi curtis, and this gives ed her driving passion, her goal in life – to be a housewife.

so she and al go about her adventures, dragging winry along more often than not, but they stay away from central and they always come home. and ed’s about to turn twenty, and pinako is talking to her old friend ellie, and ellie is moaning about her unmarried grandson, her grandson who refuses to inherit the general store and won’t settle down and is off in the military, of all things. he’s a bright, handsome boy, elle says, he just has his head in the wrong place.

and pinako taps her pipe and goes – you know i’ve been raising three kids right, my granddaughter and my neighbor’s kids, a boy and a girl. and ellie is surprised, she thought both elric children were boys, but she dismisses the thought easily. she remembers ed as a tomboy, of course, and with that name who can blame her. but no one’s first thought is unprecendented human transmutation when presented with someone’s who’s a different gender than the one she remembers.

ellie is like oh, is winry looking to settle down? but pinako scoffs, says she’s a career gal through and through. but her other girl, eden – she has a wandering spirit, but she’s a good girl, a lovely country bred woman who’s looking to be a housewife (ellie’s idea of housewife and ed’s idea of a housewife vary wildly, but pinako’s not about to bring that up).  so pinako sends a message to her children, and ellie sends one to her grandson: she’s sending a young woman to central from their hometown. she’s single, and looking to settle down, and the granddaughter of an old family friend.

so jean havoc gets this letter, completely and utterly horrified. the whole team makes fun of him. but grandmother eleanor rules the family with an iron fist, and havoc better come up with a damn good reason not to marry this girl. he’d not interested in a country mouse for a wife. before he can think of one, eden has already agreed and is on a train to central. she convinces al to stay behind, just for a couple of weeks, because she doesn’t want him scaring this jean havoc off.

ed is gorgeous, and a genius, and an absolute terror. she’s dated a lot of men, slept with just as many, and hasn’t found a single one worth her time. she doubts she’ll be interested in a boy from their little rural town, but pinako knows her and she trusts the old woman’s judgement. if she thinks jean havoc is someone who could make her happy, eden is more than willing to give it a shot.

so havoc has to leave early from work to meet his amost-maybe-fiance at the train. obviously, the team minus hawkeye follows him. they’re dying to know.

a country girl. they were expecting a country girl, someone wide eyed, unpolished, a little out of her depth. instead they get eden elric, a girl who’s been to cities and knows how to dress for it. they get eden elric, black boots and black leather pants and a black shirt with a dramatic red coat flaring out behind her. eden elric, golden eyes and golden hair and in the setting afternoon sun just golden. she smiles when she sees him and jean’s mouth goes dry and his heart goes zing! and havoc is going to send his grandmother some really nice flowers. “you must be jean,” she says, voice low and smoky, eyes crinkling at the corners. “you look like your father.”

“i, you,” he fumbles, holding out his hand to shake and stepping forward to take her bag at the same time. “hi.”

“hi,” she repeats, and he’s screwed, she’s already laughing at him and it hasn’t even been five minutes. “did you know you’re being followed?”

he sighs and doesn’t look behind him. “those would be my coworkers and my superior office.”

“delightful,” she says, dry and completely unimpressed, and she’s from resembool, his job and his rank is worse than useless with her, it’s a detriment. none of that crowd like the military. his mother hadn’t talked to him for over a year after he enlisted. “that won’t do. we’ll have to ditch them.”

“how?” he asks, and she grins, sharp. he takes her to his car and she shoves him in the passenger seat and climbs in the driving one, breaking about a thousand laws as she careens down crowded city streets. jean’s horrified for about thirty seconds, then he’s egging her on and cheering, directing her down roads whenever she hesitates and laughing the whole time.

they make it to where he was supposed to drop her off, beaming. “usually men throw up when they drive with me,” she says, beaming.

“nah, that wasn’t scary, it was fun,” he says, and he’s already kissed this relationship goodbye before it’s started. she’s beautiful and brave and exudes the same type of easy confidence the colonel does, and that’s not something he’ll ever be able to match. she’s no country mouse. she’s a supernova, and he’s stardust.

eden smiles at him, and says, “would you like to meet me for lunch, jean?”

havoc peers up at the building, and it’s central university. he wouldn’t have expected a country girl / wanna be housewife to be pursuing a degree, but clearly he should toss every preconceived notion he had about eden out the window, because none of them are going to be right.

“yes,” he says, because eden will make an effort with him for a while, he knows, since she’s here on the insistence of both their grandmothers. but she’ll grow tired of him eventually, like they all do, and jean intends to spend as much time with her as she can before that happens.

except it doesn’t happen. she’s kind and smart, so unbelievable smart, and dry and biting. she snores when she sleeps and get snappy when he interrupts her reading, refuses to drink milk and hates brushing her hair, so more often than not it’s up in a truly awful ponytail. he likes these things about her best, because her little imperfections, her temper and her skittering attention, the messy way she eats, all make her human. she’s flawed, and each new one havoc finds delights him, because the fact that she leaves crumbs on the counter brings her just a little closer to his level.

they keep going out. the brother shows up, and gives him one overly-firm handshake, then takes his lead from eden. she’s happy with him, so alphonse is happy with him, but he imagines the easy friendship he shares with the other man would disintegrate the second eden indicates she’s moved on from him. eden talks about her classes and the kids in them, which ones are good students and which ones aren’t, and havoc keeps meaning to ask what exactly she’s studying but it keeps slipping his mind. he listens to her talk about it for hours, but it’s all science mumbo jumbo and honestly goes in one ear and out the other. he just likes listening to her talk when she’s excited.

she follows him home about a month in, and the sex is so amazingly mind numbingly good it almost doesn’t seem real.

she comes to office one day to meet him for lunch, a first because she hates his office and his work and the impasse they’ve managed to maintain about his career is that they just don’t talk about it much. but she shows up, pretty pale pink dress and softly curled hair, looking close to the delicate country girl they all expected her to be. havoc is running late, and when he shows up it’s to eden sitting on hawkeye’s desk and laughing with the woman. it’s a terrifying experience. he didn’t know hawkeye could laugh.

but she’s around more after that, befriends hawkeye, and jean finds out that eden met catherine armstrong on campus and they’re fast friends, she spends a lot of time at the Armstrong mansion. and havoc is sure that’s it, that eden will meet strong, rich alex and their relationship will go out in flames. but it doesn’t happen, eden keeps asking to see him and he keeps saying yes.

it’s been almost a year when eleanor barks down the line, “are you going to marry this girl or not, jean?”

“i don’t know if that’s something she’s interested in,” he says, because he’s not the marrying sort, but for eden? he would be willing. he’d be a husband if it meant having eden as a wife.

his grandmother scoffs down the line, “she’s a smart girl, jean. if she’s still seeing you, she’s interested in it. she didn’t move to central to date you. the girl wants to be a housewife.”

and jean hems and haws, but the thing is he does love eden. and maybe, just maybe, eden loves him. so he goes to hawkeye for help, and she goes, “oh thank god, finally.” havoc is offended for all of two seconds before realizing that means eden’s been waiting for him to propose. yes.

he’s walking down the street with her after a movie, holding up his jacket over both of them as some sort of minimal protection from the rain. there’s a ring burning a hole in his pocket, but thanks to the torrential downpour this is not the romantic evening he intended. they see roy, and are confused for about to seconds until they see serial killer scar going to attack him. havoc yells at eden to run, and she does – right at the serial killer.

but then she does something he’s never seen her do, she claps her hand together and blue energy cracks in the air, and – she’s an alchemist?

he really should have had that conversation about what she’s studying at university.

she good, incredible good, and he knew she worked out, but he didn’t know she was combat trained. she launches a relentless alchemica/physical attack against scar that has him running away with his tail between his legs. ed’s helping roy up when jean runs up and grabs her by shoulders to shout, “you’re an alchemist!”

“what,” she blinks, “of course I am? i talk about it all the time! i know i teach the advanced theoretical alchemy seminar, but my knowledge isn’t theoretical. what kind of professor would i be if I didn’t’ test my own theories before teaching them?”

“teach,” he says faintly, “professor. right.” he’s such an idiot, eden isn’t attending central university, she’s teaching there.

she gives him an odd look, and okay, his girlfriend is way more awesome and too good for him than he previously thought, but that doesn’t change anything.

“will you marry me?” he asks. they’re sweat, rain, and blood soaked. roy has horrible gash on his side, and he thinks eden might have a broken arm. he had a speech planned, but he can’t remember it right now. “you do still want to be a housewife, right?” he knows better now, that eden will never be the traditional housewife. but he can give her a home and his name, and, oh god, kids, when she wants them. he’ll give her everything within his power to give her, if only she’ll take it.

finally,” eden and roy say at the same time, and havoc doesn’t have the time to get flustered before she’s kissing him.

and they all lived happily ever after

FMA Mulan Fusion feat. Trans Woman Ed

so there’s a war. there’s always a war, now. say it’s the ishvalan war, except this time there’s nothomonculus, no country destroying plans, no dwarf in the flask. just a power hungry, racist ruler who doesn’t know when to quit. that also means there’s no philospher’s stone, so this isn’t a war easily won.

the east is dangerous, resembool is a dangerous place. and the elrics and rockbells, they’re dangerous too. winry continues her parents work, does what she knows they must of have done, and protects isvalans. heals the wounded, hides them and shelters them. and of course al and ed find out, and they help. of course they help, her two best friends.

and ed’s a girl. she goes by ed, it’s short for eden (trisha helped her pick it out when she was five). winry provides her with hormones so her body looks like eden wants it to, and she has a penis but tbh that doesn’t phase her much, because she’s a women so it’s a woman’s penis and that’s that. her and winry are best friends, and the cutest girls in the village. al gets in the habit of punching a lot of guys who try hitting on them, not because winry and ed aren’t more than capable of defending themselves, but because it’s kinda fun and they both ruffle his hair after. so these three children are doing everything they can to help stop a big war.

but then there’s a draft. a man from each household across amestris must join the military, and if a woman from the household has already enlisted it doesn’t count towards the draft. the draft is for men only. and the rockbells have no men, they are exempt. but the elric’s have one - alphonse. and they’re all devestated, and edward and winry are furious. if there’s anyone less qualified to be a soldier, they don’t know it. and it’s ed that comes up with a plan, and she ropes winry into it, of course. that’s what best friends do.

ed’s going to disguise herself as a man and answers the draft in her brother’s stead. “you have breasts, eden,” winry tries to argue when ed brings it up, fists clenched at her side because this war just keeps fucking taking from her, and she’s sick of it. “yeah, well, i also have a penis, so im pretty sure i’ll get away with it,” ed returns, smirking to hide the fact that pretending to be a boy when she’s a girl is going to kill her, slowly and completely, but it’s for al. there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for her brother.

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