Things That Remind Me of the Signs

Aries: Clenched fists, speaking to a crowd of people, slow smiles and laughing until you can’t breathe, taking risks and jumping off cliffs

Taurus: Seeing your ex with someone else and missing them, flower crowns and floral aesthetics, prolonged eye contact, pridefulness

Gemini: Putting in a contact lense, sudoku puzzles, scenic photography, late night giggles on the phone with your lover

Cancer: Fluffy towels, warm hugs, chandeliers, blushing

Leo: Hairspray, glossy lips, standing up for your friends, looking at a person and thinking you’d want to marry them

Virgo: Tall, old-fashioned buildings, suits and ties, shy smiles, planting a seed and watching it grow

Libra: fancy jewelry, red wine, inspirational quotes, sitting in your pajamas and laughing with your friends

Scorpio: Black leather jackets, keeping secrets, movies, toothy grins

Sagittarius: Dying your hair a different color, messy handwriting, chalkboards, learning something new

Capricorn: Elegant, silver jewelry, black sharpie, all caps handwriting, forehead wrinkles

Aquarius: Washing shampoo out of your hair, typewriters, steaming black coffee, dimples

Pisces: Comfortable hoodies, colored pencils, sunsets, long bubble baths

They made him kill his horse.

(long story. TL;DR at the end)

This is a story that my grandfather liked to tell. It’s kind of long, and I can’t say if it’s true, but it seems to fit the very old and cantankerous guy I knew, who never, ever let a grudge go. I mean, in the 1980s and 90s, he would sometimes go and yell at Democratic candidates for office, because Woodrow Wilson had made him fight in WW1.

The story actually starts with that, kind of. You see, Grampa immigrated to the US early enough that the first election he could vote in, he voted for Teddy Roosevelt. Wilson won, though, and then he ran for reelection under the slogan “He Kept Us Out of the War.” Which seemed like a good platform, so my grandfather voted for Wilson. Few months after that, he got us into the war, and a few months after that, my grandfather was in the trenches somewhere in France.

Keep reading


etsyfindoftheday 4 | FRIDAY FRENZY | 5.12.17

colorful prong-set gemstone jewelry by alanadouvros

this fancy boho jewelry style is right up my alley — love the varied color combinations and the rustic prong setting and all the awesome gemstone varieties!!

Birthday Girl

Dan x reader

Request- Anon:  Can you write a smut were dan gets the reader something special for their birth day, like a sex toy or something kinky idk, and they play around with it please and thank you

Warnings- smut, swearing

sorry that i took forever to write this, dear anon. Sorry it’s bad lol

request more things guysss



You open your eyes and you’re greeted with (your boyfriend) Dan’s peaceful face. You yawn and adjust your position slightly, the movement causing Dan’s sleepy eyes to flutter open.

“Happy birthday, y/n.” Dan mumbles whilst pulling you into his chest.

It’s nice to know his first thoughts of the day were about you.

You move closer to him and tuck your head into the crook of his neck. A comfortable silence settles over the room once again before three knocks erupt from the door.

“Yep.” You yell, moving to sit up, Dan coming up with you.

“Happy Birthday, y/n!” Phil tells you enthusiastically, a smile covering his face and a tray of breakfast in his hands.

“Thanks Phil!” You reply, smiling as well.

He sets the tray on your lap and steps towards the door.

“Got any plans today?” He asks.

“Well, my mum wants to see me, but that’s it.” You tell him. He nods and points a thumb behind him to the lounge.

“So do you both want to watch a movie later?“

Both you and Dan nod, Phil smiles and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. You look down at your food and start to eat. Dan attempts to take sneaky bites of your pancakes, but fails. It just results to you feeding him and spilling syrup down his chin which you both laughed at.

“So, I have a few presents for you.” Dan starts, a cheeky smirk painting itself onto his face. “You get two now, and the others tonight.” You nod and set the empty tray on the bedside table.

“Also I’m taking you to dinner.” He says as he gets out of bed and makes his way to his wardrobe.

“Dan this is very unnecessary.” You tell him. You loved when Dan was cheeses, but dinner with him usually ended up with him teasing you.

“I know, but the second present you are getting is for me as well.” He admits, “And dinner goes with it.”

You sigh and shake your head, causing him to laugh as he returns to you with a small black paper bag. He pulls out a small wrapped box and hands it to you. You tear the paper back and open the box.

“Oh my God, Dan.” You gasp, taking the bracelet from the box and attaching it around your wrist. It was black material braided in a pretty way that attached with a silver clasp that had rainbow edges. “Thank you so much it’s amazing.”

Dan knew you don’t like fancy jewelry as the just make you anxious and afraid you would break them. So this was a perfect middle.

“No problem, princess.” He replies, kissing your temple. “Now for your second present, I need you to lay down and close your eyes.”

You do as he says and feel him take the duvet off of your legs and hear him take something from the black paper bag. You feel him hovering over you and move your shorts and panties down your legs. He spreads your legs and runs a finger over folds before pushing into you, causing you to moan. He covers your lips with his and kisses you roughly, making your more and more aroused as he adds another finger, then another. He thrusted his fingers at a quick pace, bringing you to the edge before removing his fingers from you. You whine into the kiss and open your eyes.

“Eyes closed, love.” Dan tells you and you sigh, closing your eyes. You feel something cold press against you, an odd contrast to your burning core. Dan pushes the vibrator into you and pulls your panties and shorts back up your legs.

“Alright y/n, time to get ready.” Dan says, ignoring that he just put a vibrator inside you.

“Dan the fuck is this?” You ask, moving your hips into the bed and moaning as the device moves inside you.

“Don’t wear anything to fancy, the restaurant we are eating at later isn’t bad. I know you don’t like extravagant places.” He says, turning to you. “But, you have to wear a skirt or shorts and no panties.” He tells you.

“Why should I listen to-” You moan loudly as the device inside you starts vibrating at an high rate, stopping after a few seconds.

“That’s why. Do as I say and you won’t be teased as much today. But if you disobey me… He moves closer to you, pulling you off of the bed and close to his tall frame. “You won’t like the consequences, princess.” He moves away from you and starts to his wardrobe, pulling on some skinny jeans and a black t-shirt. You groan and move to get dressed. As Dan moves to the door, he turns the vibrator back on at the lowest setting, causing you to stop in your tracks and bite your lip to hold in a quiet moan. You turn to look at Dan, expecting him to turn it off again, but you are met with a smirk.

“And remember my rules. You don’t get to cum unless I say so.” He smiles at you and leaves the room. The hum of the vibrator sending small waves of pleasure through you as you feel it start to go faster.

You finish getting ready and head to the lounge where you are met with Dan and Phil on the couch with your favourite movie waiting to be played. You sit down next to Dan, but as you sit the toy was pushed in further a bit, causing a quiet moan to escape your mouth that Phil thankfully didn’t hear. Dan, however, did. He looks over at you, pulls you into his side with an arm around your shoulders, and reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a small remote and turns of the toy, pushing the remote back into his pocket.

The movie was, to your enjoyment, completely voided of teasing from Dan. You managed to stay in the same position, not moving much at all as to minimize the chance of the device moving inside you.

After the movie, You and Dan leave to your mum’s to visit her, making it there with little teasing. Dan knows from experience not to try anything around your family, so nothing happened. It was a good day so far, but once 5 p.m.

Dinner was filled with Dan turning the vibrator all the up and making you order food for yourself. It was Dan moving his hand up your thigh and pushing the vibrator into you until finally in the cab he turned it off.

You both enter your room when Dan tells you to sit on the bed before pulling out that black paper bag. He takes out a set of ropes, a gag, and a blindfold before pushing out back on the bed.

“Time the best present, birthday girl.”

Random relationship hc for the RFA

(this wasn’t a request sorry but i’m slowly trying to get back into the whole writing thing hhhh my bad, if you want i’ll do a V and Saeran edition)


  • would be so damn cheesy : he’d try every cliché lines, dates, moves and just about everything he’s seen in romantic movies
  • if you played video games with him, he’d try to do couple stuff in there : he’s Mario and you’re Peach in Mario Party; matching outfits in LOLOL, you’re always in the same team/guild when you play multiplayer, he’d name both your Pokemons with matching names
  • If he ever played a game where you can romance someone (like Mass Effect, Dragon Age, Fallout..) he’d avoid talking to any of the romanceable characters just bc he’d feel like he’d be cheating on you (lol nerd)
  • he takes cooking classes so he can be better at it and loves to make you a cute bento box for lunch
  • loves coffee dates and loves holding your hand even though he’s super shy about it
  • kinda shy with PDA but if he’s really happy, he’ll get super confident and will kiss you and hold your waist all the time
  • biggest cuddle bug you’ve ever seen : you’re working on something? he’ll find a way to sit behind you and wrap his arms around your waist. He’s playing LOLOL? He’ll ask you the second you enter the room if you can sit on his lap. You both just came home from college/work? He’ll drag you to his bed and cuddle until it’s time for dinner.
  • Loves pet names but he’s so embarrassed with them; he loves stupid names like cutie pie, my hero, my player 2, honey bunny (he’s so embarrasing jfc yoosung)


  • I mean he’s no better with pet names but he’s a bit more traditional (with babe, honey, darling) but if you do something cute or just if he’s in the mood to coddle you (which is very often) he’ll give you long and embarrassing names like ‘my fluffy cutie sweet beautiful adorable little cupcake’ it’s bad and it’s even worse that this man has no shame - he’ll say that in front of everyone good luck with him
  • he’s so dedicated and observant though. Doesn’t matter that he only sees you in the morning before going to work and at night when he comes home and you’re already sleeping - if something’s wrong or you don’t feel well, he’ll know. It’s like he has a radar and he just knows even if he’s away from you, when you’re not okay and he’ll do anything to help and cheer you up
  • he’s always so open about his feelings and how thankful he is to have you - not only will he never take you for granted but he’ll always make sure you know just how much you mean to him, how grateful he is for staying with him despite how his career isn’t making things easy for your relationship together
  • doesn’t matter if you’re in college or at work or even in another city or country - he’ll find a way to talk to you almost all day long - not necessarily in a clingy way (although he can be clingy if you let him) but he’ll check up on how your last class went, make sure you’ve had lunch (although he’d do what he can to always eat every meal together), call you when you both have a break, send you selfies when you’re at work
  • he loves suprising you : there’s a beautiful bouquet on your desk at work/home? that’s him. you’ve had a stressful week and you’re about to have a breakdown? let’s go on a date where it’s just the two of you and you don’t have to worry about anything or anyone. He has a lot of work and spends his time practicing? He’ll leave a bunch of sticky notes everywhere for you to find and he’ll write compliments, declarations of love, things to cheer you up and help you get through the day.


  • Not very open with PDA, she feels like it’s not proper and she’s not a fan of showing her love to strangers. she’d prefer walking close to each others rather than holding hands for example
  • since she loves baking, she always makes some stuff for you and she also makes you try all her new creations to know what to improve before she makes them available on her coffee shop’s menu
  • ahh and if you love coffee (and I hope you do if you’re with her) she makes the best cup and always prepares you one in the morning - she absolutely loves having breakfast together and wouldn’t mind waking up extra early just so you can both take your time and enjoy the moment before going to work
  • she’d always be there if you needed help with your work or making notes for school - she’s so organized and her way to make notes and color coding are on point
  • she’s not spontaneous and she hasn’t been in a relationship in a very long time so you need to take things step by step with her but with time she becomes a lot more open to you and while she’s not very good with voicing her feelings and thoughts, she’ll always make sure you know what her feelings for you are
  • she’s independent but she’s also been alone for a long time, she would want to start living together kinda early on in the relationship just because she wants to share as much as possible with you
  • she gets incredibly touched and flustered at random acts of affection because she is just not used to them and it means so much to her, even or actually, especially the little things : you made her breakfast? she’ll give you the brightest sleepy smile you’ve ever seen first thing in the morning. You saw something in a shop and it reminded you of her so you just bought it? doesn’t matter what it is, she’ll keep it with her at all times and smile every time she looks at it. You tell her how proud you are of her for following her dreams? she’ll be in tears in less than two seconds


  • you’d think this man would be proper and distinguished and what not but no. When he’s with you, he’s like a giddy teenager who just looks at you with so much love in his eyes that it terrifies anyone who knows Jumin Han the Robot Man.
  • you’ve got him wrapped around your finger and you don’t even need to do anything about it. You just have to exist and bam, he’s 100% smitten with you. You can ask him anything and he’ll get/do it for you. Ofc, it makes more sense for him to show you his love through material stuff like expensive clothes, jewelry and fancy trips to the best spa in the world; if you didn’t want him to spend his money on you then too bad because he’ll buy you stuff anyways, he just can’t help it, it makes him so happy to buy you stuff – but with time, he’ll learn how words alone can affect him and you. 
  • He’ll feel so wonderful when you tell him that you love him and just if you tell him your feelings - it won’t take long for him to do the same bc he wants you to feel as happy as him - and he has a way with words + no shame so good luck trying to survive this combo bc the fluff this man brings will be the death of you
  • he loves to show you off, he just needs the whole world to know how perfect you are and he’s pretty handsy too - he’s never felt the need to be so close to someone both physically and in a relationship so it’s pretty overwhelming for him and if you give him the okay then he won’t see the point in holding back - he doesn’t care about what the others say, as long as you’re fine with him holding you, kissing you, nuzzling into your neck and resting his forehead against yours in front of everybody (be it at the office, in the street or in a super important party with fancy people from all over the world) that’s all he needs
  • you know, he’s kinda rivaling with Yoosung on the #1 RFA’s cuddle bug bc he absolutely loves holding you and there’s nothing better in the world for him than waking up with you in his arms, still sleeping with your face hiding in his chest
  • he’s still shit with taking pictures and it’s a shame bc he’s become a selfie slut (watch out Zen, a new challenger has arrived) but, he only takes selfies with you
  • and he download more or less every single app that lets him add stupid filters to your faces so you can have kitty whiskers or flower crowns and what not
  • despite how busy he always is, he always tries to see you in the morning and makes it a point to come home for dinner - doesn’t matter if he has to bring home five full folders from the office and work at home - dinner time with his love is important and he won’t miss it

707 (i don’t know how to write him so it’s gonna be bad sorry)

  • it’s gonna be a rollercoaster of emotions with him so I hope you’re patient with his shit bc he’ll still have his emo days where he just wants to be alone with his deep dark edgy feelings so yeah you deal with that 
  • most of the time though, he’ll just goof around, prank you H24, try to make you two become a meme
  • he has 0 domestic skills so hahhh I hope you do. either that or you’re fine with living in a constant mess and eating junk food all the time - you’ll either have to be like his caretaker or his partner in crime (or both if you can manage)
  • he doesn’t take most things very seriously though and making you smile and laugh is his number one priority so there’s that
  • he’s more or less a walking wikipedia + urban dictionary so if you need anything for an essay you’re writing just ask him - he’s full of knowledge - both accurate infos and random useless trivia
  • he’ll take you on every single date possible and once he’s done them all, he’ll invent new ones. The classics will be going to the arcade and getting the highest score on every single game or going to a lasertag or paintball and teaming up to be the winning team every time. He always gets so into it and you’ll both have code names like 'God 1, this is God 2, I have the enemy team in my sight do you copy?’ and if it’s a game where only one person can win, he’ll make you shoot him and be all dramatic about it 
  • for the more original ones, he’ll make the both of you dress up and wear wigs and pretend to be other people with other identities; like you’ll slip in weddings and pretend to be distant family of the bride while you stuff your face with the food there
  • he’ll make a bunch of stuff for you like he’ll make an app where there’s a 2D version of him and you can poke him to get voice lines, pet him and he’ll say “nya”, you can dress him up and you have interactions with him with dialogues choices (like in MM, how meta)

i hope this wasn’t too awful rip

The Joker x Reader - “The Red Queen”

The Joker’s Red Queen is as dangerous and lethal as he is. Her heart is full of secrets and she is capable of unspeakable acts. The Queen of Gotham wouldn’t have survived for so long in his world if not for her perfect instincts and abilities.

“Hey, didn’t see you around before; what’s your name?” you address J, turning your head towards him.

“No talking!” one of the heavily geared soldiers warns, holding tighter to his riffle.

You ignore him, rattling your chains in order to get The Joker’s attention:

“Hey, handsome, are you single?”

“I said no talking!” and the van takes a sharp turn, making you lean on J for a few seconds. “Pardon me, sir,” you sniffle, “it wasn’t on purpose. Do you work out?”

“What did I just tell you, hm?” the guard snaps, getting annoyed with your crap.

The Joker has the most demented grin they ever saw on anybody’s face: he just keeps on looking straight, not saying a word. It makes all 5 of them uncomfortable, even if they’ve seen a few insane things in their line of work.

One of the guards quietly analyzes you:  he didn’t see you in person before and now that you’re right in front of him he can’t help but glare:

You are wearing a two piece red leather suit, pants and sleeveless top, red high hills and your very red and very long hair almost reaches your waist. You have “RED QUEEN” tattooed around your neck with red ink like a choker, the word “Joker” repeatedly going down from it about an inch apart, making look like a necklace. Your left cheek has “King” tattooed with green ink next to a red heart and your right cheek is tattooed with the word “Queen.” More tattoos on your arms, spelling “J+Y/N”, “Red Queen” and “Mister J’s Queen.”

You smirk and he realizes you’re looking back at him.

“You’re cute. Like what you see?” you wink, unraveling your perfect white teeth that stand out even more against the bright red lipstick.

No answer.

“Are you hitting on my woman?” The Clown Prince of Crime finally speaks in such an outworldly tone it almost manifests in physical form. Definitely gave you goosebumps and you love it. Your guardians, not that much.

“I wasn’t doing any…”

“Don’t engage, that’s what they want,” the one that seems in charge reminds the rest of them.

You giggle, then start humming and grab J’s arm:

“Anytime now,” you whisper and your hand gets slapped away by the soldier that was checking you out earlier:

“No touching you damned lunatics!”

“Calm down, we are only here to make sure they get to the destination, it will be over soon,” the guy next to him points out, trying to keep everybody’s temper under control.

“If you touch The Red Queen one more time, you’re dead,” J threatens, the psychotic smug smile returning on his face.

“Shut the hell up, you crazy son of a…” the warden starts his tirade but gets interrupted.

“I said don’t engage, it is exactly what they want!”

“Yes, captain,” the man straightens his back even more, taking a deep breath before regaining his posture.

“Wise words honey,” you agree, smacking your lips. “And if you talk to the King of Gotham in such a disrespectful manner one more time, you’re not going to live through the night,” you crack your shoulders, maintaining an eerie smile.

“Shut up!” you get yelled at once more.

“Nobody…” The Joker’s chest is going up and down faster and faster, “…tells my Queen to shut up except me!!” He’s beginning to lose control and you are very fond of what follows.

“Why are these two freaks so obsessed with each other?! I don’t get it!” the soldier that slapped your hand gets mad.

“Do not engage, don’t make me repeat it one more time!!!” the captain snarls, tired with tonight’s assignment. He was supposed to be in bed already, if not for this stupid late night secret mission.

“Sorry, sir,” the apology is fast to follow.

You tap your red painted nails on the metal bar that separates your seat from J’s, amused.

“This was fun, huh? I’m not bored anymore,” you snicker and the Joker is fast to laugh in such a strange way it makes them all cringe.

A sudden strong impact and the van being turned around at 360 degrees makes you grab his hand and mutter:

“A few minutes late; could be worse, right?”

*** Both of you were in the mood for some action and had to do something about it: you decided to burgle a fancy jewelry store and let yourselves be captured. Of course that once the cops were there they called the Special Unit Force to escort you in great secrecy to Gotham Police headquarters.

Frost and your henchmen were instructed to follow closely and stop them from fulfilling their objective. All was planned in only one day: when the adrenaline rushes through your veins, no need for more - just act on instinct and impulsiveness. Your goons faked a blockade and the unmarked, bullet proof van took a turn towards the less busy roads under the Bridge of Angels. No convoy of police cars, no sirens, no fuss: the point was to haul you without getting any unwanted attention.

Which you guessed will happen.

And it did. ***

“What do you want to do with them, Doll?” J aims his head towards the kneeled soldiers surrounded by about 25 armed henchmen.

“I don’t know, they were pretty entertaining, don’t you think?” you rest your head on The Joker’s shoulder as he’s holding on to your waist.

“Should we kill them?” he inquires, undecided. He’s starting to trace your neck tattoo with his fingers, purring with such intensity it sends shivers down your spine. How you love the sensation!

“Whatever you want, baby,” you bite your red lips, fluttering your eyelashes. “But I don’t want be here anymore since we already had our fun. Actually…I take it back…We can have even more fun since we’re still awake,” you change your mind instantly because you’re both so turned on by tonight’s events. “Just state your will and then let’s go, the boys can take care of the rest. I really want to get you back to the penthouse. Pleeassee…” you moan the last sentence in his ear and he closes his eyes, aroused with anticipation.

“You’re such a bad girl, Pumpkin,” he growls, brushing his thumb on your “King” tattoo for a few moments, fighting with himself. “Go in the car, I’ll be back shortly,” he urges you, spanking your butt as you turn around and walk away towards one of the SUV’s awaiting on the side of the road.


Early morning and you didn’t snooze for one second. You surely exhausted J and now he’s in a deep sleep. You carefully move your head from his chest, cautious not to wake him up. You snatch a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from the closet, not making any noises, and after finding your car keys you sneak out of the penthouse, avoiding being seen at all costs.

After about 20 minutes of driving, you get to the meeting point at the abandoned factory on Helssel Street. Your contact is already there. You approach, suspicions.

“Who are you?” you grumble, surveilling your surroundings, just in case.

“My name is agent Collins. Nice to meet you agent Y/N,” the guy tries to speak and you cut him off.

“Spare me! Are you new?” you squint your eyes, already uneasy and displeased.

“Yes, just started with the bureau 6 months ago,” he informs, holding his ground.

“Are you kidding me??!! They are sending someone new? What level are you, did you even get your clearance level A yet?!” you raise your voice, annoyed. My God, what the hell are they doing sending this newbie to talk to you?!

“Not yet, soon, this is one of my tasks in order to obtain it.”

“I only deal with FBI agents that are at least level C, this is unacceptable!” you strut towards him and he doesn’t seem happy at your rant.

“With all due respect, agent Y/N, you might be level E, but it doesn’t mean that…” Collins protests, aware his skills need improvement but he’s not incompetent, otherwise he wouldn’t have made it this far.

“With all due respect, agent Collins,” you interrupt with a gesture of your hand,” don’t speak about things you know nothing about. I am involved in a very dangerous and strenuous undercover mission as I am sure you are aware. I can’t risk having my cover blown off, not after 3 years. It was very hard work to get into his world and make him trust me. I can’t risk any mistakes, that’s why I am appalled they send a new agent for our little briefing.”

“I am good at what I do, I’m not a kid. Please don’t address me as such,” he has the nerve to reply.

You chuckle, wanting to punch his lights out:

“Do you know what level E is?”

Collins nods a yes, irked you treat him like an idiot when in fact he’s very capable of handling all this. You just have your opinions so you continue:

“Level E agents are trained to do everything it takes for their missions. EVERYTHING! And The Joker is one…” and you almost scream, ”…tough insane psychopath!!! And I have to fuck him, kill for him, do EVERYTHING he asks of me since I am his ‘girlfriend’. Oh, I’m sorry, am I offending your little virgin ears??!!!” you suck on your teeth when he flaunts that grimace all over his mug. “I do EVERYTHING to keep myself in his world, this way I can give the Bureau all the info they need about the corrupt officials he deals with, future plans he might have, names, locations and dates. The Joker will go down last, after we get all we need.”

He is clearly offended and you are losing your patience. You take a deep breath and finish the meeting:

“Tell them all is good, I will e-mail them more encrypted data soon,” and you start walking away.

“I will actually be the one decrypting it!” he notifies you and you just raise your arm, shaking it as goodbye.

“Tell someone that cares, honey.”

You walk a couple of blocks to get to the alley where you parked your car. You are furious they send an agent in training and keep on mumbling to yourself. You had more things to say but because you’re stubborn, you refused to. I guess you’ll just have to send all the stuff in your e-mail.

You are almost at your vehicle when you see a shadow emerging from behind the building and you realize is The Joker.

“Baby Doll,” he walks fast your way and you nervously gulp, halting in your tracks.

“J, what are you doing here? I was just…”

You don’t get to finish your phrase because he hugs you tight, crushing you in his arms.

“I am being a gentleman and making sure my girl gets safely to her car,” he whispers and you lose your breath when you feel the sharp blade piercing through your ribs, deeper and deeper. You push him away, wincing in pain, hardly being able to still stand, shocked.

Why are you so dizzy and why can’t you move? You attempt to say something but barely manage to open your mouth. You start coughing and lean your back against the car, sliding down to the ground, everything fading from your already cloudy mind.

“Something to remind you of me, Kitten,” J stops in front of you, kicking your leg.  “The blade has been dipped in a paralyzing substance, this way you won’t struggle. As a thanks for being an awesome girlfriend,” and he reaches his hand to close your eyes. You wish you could fight, but the numbness took over your body with an alarming velocity. And now that your eyes are closed, maybe they won’t open again.


“Welcome back, Y/N,” you hear Commissar Gordon’s voice and you blink a few times, trying to focus on his face.

“Hello, s-sir…” you manage utter, coming back to reality. You are in a hospital bed, hooked to IV’s. “Where…where am I?” you lift your head from the pillow and instantly drop it back, weak and feeling drained.

“FBI headquarters, ICU unit, I guess you’re not familiar since you’ve never had to use it,” he gets up from his chair and takes a sit on your bed.

“How long was I out?” you lick your lips, thirsty and still a bit out of it.

“Two days. You were lucky Agent Collins followed you and found you in time,” he sighs, grateful you are still breathing.

“That bad, huh?” you moan in pain when you try to turn on your side. You lift the sheet up and see you are patched up where The Joker stabbed you.

“Well, it wasn’t good either. I’m glad you’re still with us,” Gordon admits and you know he’s sincere.

“Thank you, sir,” you wince in pain. “My cover got blown up, do we know what happened?” you request to find out.

“No, not yet, I think we might have a moll, we are thoroughly investigating the problem.”

“3 years…3 fucking years, and all is lost,” your eyes get teary from frustration and he touches your hand, sympathetic.

“I’m sorry, you were unbelievably tenacious and did a lot of good work. I know you’ve been through hell…”

“I’m fine,” you lie, not happy at your present situation.

“They will want to talk to you as soon as possible, they need all the information they can obtain. You don’t get to rest even if you deserve it. They will expect a full report and you’ll have to go through all the required steps, there are rules to be followed.”

“I know, sir,” you finally manage to lift yourself on your elbow.

“They are aware certain…feelings and …emotions are involved after being with him for so long, they want you in counselling and therapy too.”

“I understand the procedure, sir, it’s OK,” you agree, obedient. All this shit that follows comes with the job. “I don’t know how he followed me, I added the sleeping pills in his water and watched him drink it,” you fret, puzzled on how it went downhill so fast. “I’m a level E agent, I know what I’m doing.”

The commissar gets up, taking his leave. He knows better than to let you continue to torment yourself at this point. It’s no use.

“I’ll let you rest, then, we’ll keep in touch.”

You point your finger towards your neck tattoo, no words are necessary.

“You’ll have those removed as soon as there’s time.”

“Sir!” you yell after him when he opens the door. “Can I please have somebody help dying my hair back to black today? I can’t stand this red anymore!”

“Of course,” he exhales, contemplating about a million things he needs to do after this total fiasco of your undercover operation ending so abruptly.


A few weeks go by and you are caught in the endless twist of briefings, meetings, reports and assessment sessions to assert your state of mind, while they are looking for The Joker with no success. You didn’t even have time to remove all your tattoos because it’s a long process and right now you don’t have precious hours to spare. You just cover your skin with make-up, burying your past under and the two accursed names that will forever be ingrained in your memory: The Joker and his Red Queen.  


**Three months after the incident the SWAT team was able to capture your former boyfriend at your suggestion that he might be hanging around certain places. After all, you knew so many of his secrets and were able to predict his moves because you got to experience firsthand on how he works. You are not a level E agent for nothing! You didn’t waste so many years on this task, so much of your life and expertise just to sit around and not counteract. When you got the call in the middle of the night, you jumped out of bed so fast you almost dropped your cell, shaking at the unexpected news. He will be transported in great secrecy to Arkham Asylum where he surely belongs.

You are appointed as one of the 4 agents to accompany him to his destination and you get ready in such a hurry it scares you. Can’t wait to face the jerk and strangle him yourself if you get the chance, that is. **

You are sitting right across from a handcuffed Joker, panting and trying to control your urge to act. He just looks down at his shoes, avoiding eye contact for once. The other three agents are sitting to your left in perfect silence and alert.

J decides to move his blue gaze from the floor to your face, a total deranged smirk flourishing on his lips.

“Hi there Princess,” and he snorts, rolling his eyes.

“No talking!” one of your companions warns.

“What is it with you guys and no talking, huh?” he moves his jaw sideways, his eyes burning with madness.

The van stops at a red light and then continues its itinerary.

He winks at you, delighted in his lunacy.

“I’m glad to see you’re alive and well, Doll,” he yammers, disregarding the rest of them. “Daddy missed you!” he purrs and you clench your teeth, really straining to keep it together.

“Cut it out or you’re gonna get it!” the threat comes and he laughs, excited.

“Ahhhh, promise?… Don’t interrupt while I’m talking to my woman!!” he abruptly changes his voice to such a low tone it’s uncomfortable to hear.

You indifferently begin to wipe the foundation covering your tattoos on neck and cheeks with the sleeve of your suit, still quiet.

“Shut it down, Clown, I mean it!!!” the guy closest to you loses his patience, aggravated.

You instantly decide to verbalize your feelings:

“If you talk to the King of Gotham in such a disrespectful manner one more time, you’re not going to live through the night,” you tilt your head towards the man, chuckling and they all instinctively reach for their guns. “Thank God I was in charge of loading them, right?” you kiss the air, satisfied they fell for it. “Nahhh, I wouldn’t do that,” you pucker your lips when they still try to do something about it, getting ready to fight. “Don’t do anything stupid, you know what I’m capable of. Might I remind you I’m a level E agent?”


You kick the limp bodies at your feet, uncuffing J in the process.

“You’re mad at me?” he checks, inhaling your perfume.

“I thought we agreed you’re not going to stab me, yes?!” you snap at him, and he kisses your wrist, euphoric to touch you again. “You really took me by surprise!”
“I changed my mind, it was the best plan in order to achieve what we wanted, Pumpkin. And I used the paralyzing substance so you won’t feel pain. Am I nice to my girl or what?!” he praises himself, high from all the excitement of seeing you in action again; it’s been a while. 

“I have a scar, you know I hate scars!” you complain, pushing him away when he tries to hug you but then yank him back in your embrace, infatuated by his presence.

“But it was fun, wasn’t it? We were sooo bored, at least it was entertaining for a while. And you got me all the info I wanted right from the source,” he impatiently kisses you and it makes you weak in the knees. “How come my Red Queen has black hair, hm?” he tugs on your long locks, his hot lips kissing your shoulder up your neck. “Unacceptable!” he growls and you smile, enjoying having him so close again.

“It will be back to red again tomorrow,” you agree and you sense the van stopping. “I think we’re here,” you happily announce, relieved you’re back where you belong and don’t have to pretend anymore.


Your treachery was a strong blow to the bureau; they didn’t expect that to happen in a million years. Commissar Gordon was heartbroken at the news, he completely trusted you and had high hopes. He even saw you in a high rank within the organization as a future perspective. He would have vouch for you and supported you all the way.

But things turned ugly and it pains him to add your name to the FBI most wanted list. He took it upon himself to update your online file:

Agent Name: Y/N

Code Name: The Red Queen

Clearance Level: E

Status: Inactive

Special instructions: Extremely dangerous, approach with caution

His fingers are hesitant on the keyboard as he types in the final note:

Grade A Warning: Rogue


Magical Tip: simple faery curio

Not all faery offerings have to be useful like food and reflective mirrors. They can simply be lovely little trinkets!
•A necklace charm
•a bead with a hook, like an ornament
•a bracelet you’ll never wear again
•an earring that’s lost its match
•a gumball-machine ring
•a shiny penny (bc they’re drawn to copper)
•a fancy button
•tinfoil shapes
•jewelry wire shapes
•clay shapes
•pipe-cleaner shapes
•a string of beads
•a tiny seashell
•an acorn wrapped in tinfoil
•a twig with a bead glued to the end like a wand
•a stupid pizza-table painted with nail polish
•any bottle cap at all, flat clear plastic packaging, tape or glue the plastic over the cap after putting glitter or seed-beads inside to make a little pretty shaker thing

anonymous asked:

hc's for the paladins most memorable/passionate kiss with their s/o? when did it happen? why did it happen? how was it? how did it feel??? i must know!!! (i super love love LOVE your writing btw)

Ugh this question is an attempt on my life I swear. But thank you none the less! I am but your guys humble servant~


-It happened at night, out on a balcony with a million stars shining over head

-He had bought tickets to a swanky gala, wanting to take s/o on a romantic night out complete with dancing and getting all gussied up

-They were the best looking couple there, they had a real cinderella moment with all eyes on them as they practically floated along the dance floor

-They step outside for a breather and they are standing so close and he can count all of their eyelashes and see the moon reflected in their eyes and hes breathless and the only thing he can say is “I love you”

-Its the first time he has said it and s/o is glowing and Shiro is tingling all over and he just goes in for the kiss without another thought and its all perfect


-He didn’t even know it was going to happen, it was a spontaneous wonderful moment fueled by adrenaline 

-Keith had been training with s/o, they had been begging him for the longest time but he was hesitant cause he didn’t want them to throw themselves into battle but well maybe it was better if they were able to protect themselves

-It was a long road to getting them to his standards, a lot of sweat, tears and bruises. The ultimate goal for s/o was to be able to take him down just once

-Then one day, ONE DAY, all those hours of frustration come to a boiling point and its like the heavens opened up and they saw an opening in his stance. They didn’t think twice as they took the chance and Keith suddenly found himself flat on his back

-At first s/o thinks that he is going to be angry or at the very least come back twice at hard but instead they find him laughing. Hes grinning and before they can begin to question his sanity he pulls them in for a kiss. Its short but sweet and filled with this admiration that can’t be described in any words


-She isn’t one for casual pda so her most memorable kiss was definetly her first kiss

-She had been trying to avoid thinking about it the entire night, she had been the one to suggest going out on a real proper date and she knew that a kiss was almost inevitable but it still made her nervous

-To try and combat these nerves she tried to plan a night full of activities, a whole tour of interesting sights on a nearby planet. They actually had a lot of fun acting like completely unapologetic tourists and for awhile Pidge was able to relax

-It was so much different spending time with s/o one on one that Pidge finally actually felt like this was a real relationship and it made her chest feel tight but in a good way and she couldn’t stop smiling

-Just as the last of the suns were going down and they were enjoying food they could actually stomach on the roof of the tallest building watching all the colors melt into each other she finally did it. She leaned in and kissed s/o

-It was soft and not super involved, nothing more than a crashing of lips against each other for a few seconds but it was what really stands out in each of their minds as the moment they became a real couple


-He can probably remember each and every kiss hes had with s/o cause this boy is secretly a huge sweetheart. He is also very cheesey and has an anniversary for every small accomplishment in their relationship

-Except being a doofus he forgets his biggest anniversary, the one where they actually started dating. So he thinks that s/o is just being cute and romantic with the blanket fort and movie night. Completely oblivious to what significance this date has

-Then as s/o is stroking his hair and feeding him popcorn, making him feel pampered and loved, they ask him if this has been a good one year anniversary date and he is FREAKING OUT because how could he FORGET hes a terrible BOYFRIEND 

-He starts to promise them the entire god damn world in order to apologize. He offers to arrange the stars to spell out their names in the sky together and shut up he has a magic mechanical lion he totally can s/o just give him a chance

-S/o is just laughing so hard and its contagious and Lance realizes just how ridiculous he is actually sounding. He laughs with them and they are both in tears and cuddling and then he doesn’t realize it but they are suddenly kissing and s/o is just so warm and happy with him that it amazes him. He wants to make sure to make them this happy forever


-He totally planned the perfect night, he wanted to do something special for s/o and wanted to make it super rememorable for both of them. Not for any special occasion but just because he thought that they deserved to be swept off their feet

-And it certainly was a night to remember but mostly because everything he tried to do just ended up in total disaster. A real infamous day for the history books of their relationship
-He burned the dinner, the fancy jewelry he meant to place on the dessert plate actually got baked into the cake which ended up on his plate and made him break a tooth, he grabbed the wrong candles meaning the nice vanilla scented ones were instead Pidge’s prank candles that acted as screaming sparklers that couldnt be put out and his nice clothes got shrunk in the washer so he was left trying to squeeze in a shirt two sizes too small

-Hes so embarrassed and sulking, he just wanted this one night to be perfect and he thought he was romantic but it turns out hes nothing but a screw up. He is hiding in the kitchen, spread out on the floor and looking up at the ceiling wondering how he ever thought he could pull this off

-S/o joins him on the floor with a pint of ice cream, massaging his head and trying to talk him out of this because they still managed to have fun and the thought it what counts ect ect but Hunk is being stubborn and while he accepts the ice cream still wishes he had managed to make things special

-It is then that s/o informs him that any moment that they get to spend with him is so much more special that he could ever know. The sunshine boy is flustered and hearts are floating around his head and he can’t stop himself from pulling s/o on top of him and kissing them cause those words meant more to him than they would ever know  

Timed Prompt (20 min)

  • Prompt: Kyungsoo’s family, being the rich family they are, invite the Kims over for dinner who also have a son. 

It’s like one of those times when you really want to just plug in headphones and drown in rock music. Yea, Kyungsoo only wishes he could as he welcomes the Kims over for dinner. 

His family is a prestigious one, if you could call them that. They’re actually a leg above the snotty and gaudy families alike, having the most successful franchise in South Korea. So what does that mean? Fancy cars, clothes, jewelry and anything Kyungsoo wants. But what does he want right now? Not to be standing here in a three piece suit (that is far too tight) welcoming his father’s partner who just moved to the country last week.

As planned, they are having a dinner to commemorate their partnership. And when he says “they” he means everyone except for him. He’s only here for the food and to keep up appearances, because his mother has a need to control everything about his life. It’s suffocating, almost as suffocating as this tie which he loosens with a wiggle of his index and thumb. 

“Ah, so you are the young Do?” Mr. Kim says, smile wide and phony like the person he surely is. Kyungsoo thinks so anyway. 

And is this man dense? Whom else could he be? Surely, everyone knows the Do’s have only one son and it would be fairly awkward for a stranger to dwell inside their house. Not to mention a stranger who shares many of his father’s features, like the circular brown eyes and rich plump lips. The spitting image of his father, he is–and he absolutely hates it. 

What does he say in response though? Nothing. He smiles with a polite 90 degree bow. Manners are always important. He couldn’t be caught slipping up in the face of company. Not unless he wants the wrath of his mother to rain down on him. He gets enough of her nagging. 

Like now, as he moves to sit at the table, she berates him for slouching ever so slightly. He fights the urge to roll his eyes and picks up the napkin to place in his lap. 

The servants bring the meals to the table and it is at this time that a young man enters appearing winded and out of breath. The platinum blond hair adorning his head is tousled and his cheeks are flushed. A soft chuckle comes through Kyungsoo’s lips. Being late to a family dinner is interesting, he thinks. 

“I’m so sorry, we got caught in traffic.” The boy bows toward his family, then toward his own. 

His mother, Mrs. Kim, waves a hand flippantly, “It’s okay honey, have a seat, we haven’t started just yet.” She seems nice. Kyungsoo frowns in humor, but speculates that it could be for show. He knows how his mom gets in front of others but behind the scenes when no one else is around, she is totally different. 

The boy takes a seat beside him, scooting up his chair to the table before turning to smile at him. Kyungsoo doesn’t really know what else to do other than return one of his own. 

“I’m Jongin,” he introduces and Kyungsoo really doesn’t care, but it’s always polite to introduce yourself. 

“Kyungsoo.” he says curtly… 

Organization Tips

[day 10. how I keep organized] Organization, oh how I love thee.

Since one of the things my blog is devoted to is organization, I decided to turn today’s prompt into a masterpost. So here are my best tips to staying organized!~

Minimize as much as possible! If you saw my What’s in My College Backpack post, then you saw that I foolishly planned on taking separate notebooks for each class. THIS WAS A BAD IDEA. It was heavy and heavy hurts your back. Now I use a binder and place everything (syllabi, class notes, textbook notes, handouts, etc.) in there. Although I do take a notebook to take messy lecture notes in before tranferring it to my binder, this method is much lighter and stress-free, since all I need to remember is one binder.

Clean out things regularly! I clean out my binder every week, my backpack every night, my online life every two weeks, etc., etc. Keeping things clean lets you think better.

Have an ideal schedule to go off of! Using a study schedule printable from @theorganisedstudent, I recently was able to plan my ideal study schedule: how much I would study each day, what I would study, and when I would take breaks. I based it off my maximum productivity levels, and having this is a great reminder when it’s Friday afternoon, I have the whole weekend ahead of me, and it doesn’t seem like anything needs to be done. Beyond studying, though, plan your dream day. Be realistic, but also be ambitious. Rarely will you ever matcn it to a T, but having this skeleton to go off of gives you a good idea of when you should be doing laundry, cleaning the bathroom, and also how much time you can afford to spend on YouTube. 😉

Prepare in advance! Pack you backpack the day before! ALWAYS. Even if it’s past midnight and all you want is sleep – when you wake up, you are definitely not going to feel like dealing with stocking your pencil case with everything you need. I’m a cute and casual shirt, jeans, and boots kind of gal, so deciding what to wear is not a big to-do for me, but if you spend way too long deliberating in front of the closet, you may want to set out your outfit the day before.

Keep a planner! I know this is a pretty stereotypical tip, so I won’t go into depth about it. Just make sure you have a definite method for organizing your planner and also that you stick to it.

Study smarter, not harder! Know which classes you are weaker in and spend more time on those. For example, History is an easy A for me. I barely study. Math, however, is the bane of my existence. In order to make As in math, I need to put in 3x the effort. Make sure to organize your schedule to accommodate this extra time.

Live simply! I’m a huge fan of minimalism. While definitely not a minimalist myself, I wholeheartedly agree that the more stuff you have, the less peace of mind you enjoy. Declutter everything you don’t need or even want. Have a place for everything and try to keep everything in its place. This helps keeps your mind and thought processes organized.

Clean mental clutter! I see a lot about taking care of your body, but what about your mind? Make sure to tidy your thoughts too. (That sounds sort of creepy, lol.) What I mean is – relax. Pray, meditate, take some time to write down everything pestering your mind – whatever works for you. Once it’s out, you can focus all of your mental capabilities of whatever task is at hand.

Spend a few minutes to save a few hours! This is more of a personal one, and definitely one that not everyone thinks is worthwhile, but I thought I would include it since it’s one of the main reasons I stay organized. I find organizing things extremely relaxing. (Actually, this weekend I plan on decluttering and organizing my space, and I’m really looking forward to it!) So I do a lot of (admittedly) silly things to help myself later. I organize my closet, first by style of clothing, and within those sections by color; my undergarments, pairing all of the socks and rolling all of the underwear; my books, genres then series and then standalones by author; my jewelry, fancy with fancy, everyday out in the open; etc. My most-used items are always at the forefront. I don’t have to do this, but I like how I can easily grab what I need without having to search for it or disturb a bunch of other stuff for it.

Hope some of these helped!

anonymous asked:

I loved the Kakashi post of his ideal so! Can you do the same with Kankuro please??? ☺

Crying because I love my lil sand husband.

Kankuro is picky as hell when it comes to his women. Similar to Kakashi’s, I’ll list five traits that he appreciates in a woman. 

Freethinking - Kankuro loves a girl who can think for herself. Growing up, he was always under the watchful eye of his father. As an adult, he has to deal with the Sunagakure council breathing down his neck on certain issues. Being with a woman who is able to break free from these forces being imposed on them as a couple is refreshing. She is able to argue different points during meetings. She is able to form her own opinions based on her experiences, rather than what she is told.

Compassionate - Kankuro needs a woman who understands that his worldview is a little different than the average person. He has a few pieces of him that are still scarred from his childhood experiences. His s/o is there to hold him when he has nightmares and understands when he needs alone time to do some introspection. Her compassion extends to his siblings as well. Kankuro would never be with a woman who treats Gaara any differently because of his experiences as a jinchuriki. That sibling love between his s/o, Gaara and Temari is there because, otherwise, it wouldn’t work. It’s as simple as that.

Honorable - Kankuro has a strong moral code. He needs a s/o who has the same. Luckily, his s/o has a strong sense of right and wrong. She is the type of person who will make the tough call, no matter how tough it is, as long as it is the right one. She and Kankuro often find themselves in situations that call for a quick analysis of options and outcomes. On these missions, they both agree that they’re willing to die for honor if that means doing what’s right for their village.

Playful - Kankuro is serious around people he doesn’t know personally. Once his s/o gets him alone, however, he acts as playful as a child. His lover loves to laugh with him. They wrestle on the bed and he’ll throw her over his shoulder and tickle her. His s/o will start flour fights when they’re in the kitchen and he’d prank her with his puppets. As long as they’re able to laugh until their stomachs hurt, he is happy. 

Romantic - No one expected Kankuro to be romantic, but he surprised his s/o. He will often want to shower in extravagant gifts like fancy dinners and nice jewelry. Although his s/o isn’t materialistic in the slightest, she finds it romantic how he likes to spoil her. She finds romance in the simpler things in life, like having dinner under the stars on the roof of the Kazekage mansion. All they need is good wine and food they cooked together and the mood is set. When he has her alone like this, he showers her in affection: tender kisses on her face and temples, his fingers drawing circles over the backs of her hands, and them laying on top of a blanket so they can look up and draw constellations.