fancy doors

fucking hell i was waiting dowstairs for the mail and there was a fancy knock on the door, i thought it was my mom but it was a jehovas witness guy asking to come in and i was so disappointed and tired so without thinking was like “no im a massive lesbian please go away”

Better locksmith

Context: Our party consisting of a tiefling assassin, a human thief(who has never succeeded on a lock picking check),a half-elf their,  a Dragonborn cleric and a  Dwarven barbarian (me), has been crawling through a heavily trapped dungeon for a while when we come across a very fancy wooden door

Rogue1: “I say I should pick the lock, I haven’t gotten to pick one yet!”

Rogue2: “there’s a reason for that, you suck at it.”

Rogue3: “since I’m the one who picked the last three without effort, I should do it.”

Me ooc:“I walk through the door”

DM: “you can’t do that, the door is locked”

Me ooc: “you don’t understand, I walk through the door”

*Party just looks at me*

DM: fine roll strength I guess

Me:*rolls Nat 20*

DM: “ya know what fine, you walk through the door creating a dwarven shaped hole in the wood”

Rogue2 “See Niko, even Thane is a better locksmith than you”

Oh my God, we're so sorry we blocked your doorway. Now go get your ear muffs.

I’ve had a long respectable career in game development. A couple of years ago I’ve abandoned it for a cushy corporate job, and now spend most of my days missing gamedev.

This story takes place about 10 years ago at the apex of my career.

I was the lead on a AAA project. Our parent company, for which videogames was just one of many lines of business, was going through changes. We had to move offices three times in one year. Second of the three moves, always intended to be temporary, put us into the basement of an older building long occupied by satellite departments not involved with development.

The basement we were given had been empty for years, save for the most distant office. You entered the basement through a dimly lit staircase. Then, after you snaked through a horror-movie-like maze of corridors and interconnected small rooms, you’d eventually arrive at the farthest room of all.

A golden plaque was on the door.

Trademark Compliance Department.

Keep reading

The 58 and 1/2 Minute Gap

I’m a very logical person, and I believe most things can be explained through science, but I’ve had a few experiences that I’ve had trouble explaining to myself–moments my body tells me has happened, but my mind tells me should not have. I guess, according to sixpence, they’re called “glitches”.
As I said, I’ve had a few of these experiences, but most of them have been fractions of seconds long. I’m not superstitious or overtly paranoid, but last summer, on a cruise with two of my cousins around my age, something happened that I haven’t quite been able to shake.
It was our second night on the ship, and we thought it would be funny to run around causing havoc, in a real “Leonardo Decaprio sticking it to the upper class in Titanic” sort of way. We found our way to the richer levels, and laughed our way down elaborate hallways with beautiful lighting. While walking (or rather, stomping) we discovered that each door had a doorbell. These halls were different from the rest of the ship in that they were long and dead-ended. This meant that when we decided to ding-dong-ditch everyone, it required that one person stand at the end of the hall, then sprint to the two waiting at the exit while slamming their hands on each doorbell. After much discussion, we decided that my boy cousin was faster than both of us, and would be less likely to get caught.
After a few seconds of preparation, my cousin and I danced on our feet, watching him speed through the halls, itching to run from our self-inflicted trouble. When he got to the end, a large man stuck his head out of his fancy door, and after watching us giggling and pressing more doorbells, decided to chase us. There aren’t many places to hide if you get caught on a boat, so an unspoken consensus was made that we would need to run fast enough to not be recognized.
We sprinted down levels and levels of stairs, until we reached a landing with no where to go, except for into the endless hallways. Now the hallways were set up so that if you kept running in one direction, you would go in circles, but each landing had an exit to the left and an exit to the right. We knew we had a few seconds to debate which way to go, but for the first time that night, I disagreed with them. I thought it would be more faster to get to our room if we went to the left, and they thought the same of the right. We didn’t have time to debate and agree, because we soon heard yells and stomps from the stairs in front of us. Without thinking, we split up. I pulled out my timer, just to prove without a doubt that my way was faster, and began sprinting, quickly finding my way towards our room. My timer, which I screenshotted, said 1 minute, 34 seconds. I entered the room smugly, convinced I had beat them.
When I saw my cousins talking closely when I entered, I was disappointed. When they saw me, they were shocked. They had been discussing what to say to my grandma about me getting caught by the man. To them I had been gone for over an hour. To me and my phone, I had been gone for 1 minute, 34 seconds.
The next half hour was spent debating how long I was gone, the games with the doorbells before were completely forgotten.
Everything except for my timer and my mind tell me that they were right, but I know what my phone says, and I know I would not have been able to continuously sprint for over an hour.
That night I lay awake, trying to convince myself that they were right, but I knew how long I had run for, and so I kept asking myself: where was I for the other 58 and ½ minutes?


I got a really cool shirt in a hot topic clearance section! Hot topic is exotic to me, they don’t exist in Alberta didn’t exist in Alberta until recently and are more expensive x’D

Also featuring Puke’s mystery cryptid hand

Stranded (Part 1)

where Y/N is sorry and Harry is angry.

Harry turned around as soon as he heard the bathroom door open. He could feel his eyes widening at the sight of you. With your blue floor length dress and hair up in a loose bun, you looked unquestionably breathtaking. You were heading for the celebration dinner of Harry’s movie, but Harry felt like he would be nothing there compared to the goddess standing in front of him. He couldn’t help it, he walked towards you with long strides, smashing his lips with yours and whispering,

“Baby, you look absolutely gorgeous.”

Your cheeks glowed with color as heat rushed up your neck. You smiled in gratitude before remarking,

“I think I should be the one saying that.”

Harry jokingly flipped his hair before replying,

“Yeah, I know, I’m very pretty.”

You two let out a laugh before your lips collided once more.

“How ‘bout we ditch the dinner an’ put on some of our own entertainment t’night?” he smirked, proud of his word play.

“Wish we could darling, but everyone’s gonna be there for you, yeah? Can’t leave them hanging.” You replied.

He hummed in response, well aware that he couldn’t ditch the party being thrown for him. You two headed out for the car parked outside. Your hands were tightly intertwined with Harry’s, and the two of you couldn’t have been more content at the moment.

Once you arrived at the destined place, the screams of the crowd and paparazzi increased in volume. The two of you were scurried out of the car by Harry’s event organizer. Harry wrapped an arm around your waist as the two of you headed towards the fancy restaurant.

Strutting towards the door, you two looked, and felt, like the ideal couple. However, your little bubble of happiness was soon burst apart as Harry started getting questioned by an interviewer. He seemed nice, and the pair of you didn’t mind.

Yet, soon the questions started getting directed towards you as well. Caught up in the blissful heaven of the situation, you barely noticed as you accidentally spilled out information about Harry working on his solo album.

Harry had previously decided to keep his solo music career a secret for the time being. Lots of conspiracies came along with the rumors, none of which Harry wanted to face. He had instructed you not to inform anyone about it either, and he knew that he could definitely trust you. You had gone to extremes to keep it a secret, there had been several times when it was so close to being revealed but you did one thing or other to safeguard your beloved boyfriend’s clandestine.

But this once, caught up in the happiness of the situation, and the feeling of being in Harry’s arms, you hadn’t even noticed the words tumbling out of your mouth. As soon as the words escaped you, the two of you immediately halted to a stop. Harry’s arm tightened around your waist warningly, to the point where it almost hurt. The interviewer was as shocked as could be, and continued on trying to dig out more details from either of you.

You tried to make it better, you really did, but the damage had been done.

Harry hurriedly excused you two from the press and continued walking towards the main hall. You knew he was mad, the tense way his shoulders were situated, was an obvious sign of that.

Once reality settled in, you felt like you could cry. You had revealed his secret, broken his trust. He had confided in you and trusted you to not tell a soul about something that he didn’t yet want to share.

However, before you could let out a word, Harry was whisked away by his manager, and you had been left alone to fend for yourself. Usually, Harry would be the one to hold your hand tightly and pull you along with him, but you knew that after this, the last thing he wanted was to be anywhere near you.

You were soon given company by Gigi, Eleanor and Cheryl. All of the boys were there to support Harry, and you felt horrible that you had messed up the night for him. You felt your heart ache when you saw that Harry had opted to take the seat farthest away from you at the dinner table. The night passed on with you barely touching your food and trying your best to be as social as you could in the given circumstances.

Harry was nowhere to be seen, probably he had gone somewhere with his friends, and Eleanor and Cheryl had went off to mingle with their own boyfriends, while Gigi had stayed with you. She claimed that she wanted your advice on some show that she was preparing for, but you knew that she felt bad for you. She knew what had happened, and didn’t want for you to be alone.

While you were grateful for the company that she provided, you hadn’t failed to notice Harry’s absence throughout the night. You knew that he was upset with you, but you didn’t think that he would actually ignore you the whole night through. As it was nearing midnight and Gigi was going on about her upcoming Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, a text message from Harry interrupted the both of you. Hope sprang through you as you looked down at your phone, but it was quick to die down as soon as you read the cold words that had been sent to you.

“We’re leaving.”

As you looked up, you saw Harry’s manager waving to you to come to the front door. You informed Gigi, who stood up with you.

“We’ll be leaving soon too. Just need to say goodbye to some people before we’re on our way.”

“Okay, thank you so much for today. I’ll see you soon.”

“Anytime, babe. I’m sure Harry will cool off soon. Just give him some time and space, yeah? Call me if you need anything.” She said, rubbing your arm comfortingly.

“Yeah, thank you, Gigi. I love you.”

The both of you hugged goodbye before you hurried off to where Harry’s manager was standing. She informed you that Harry was already in the car. Your heart sank a little, realizing that he was still mad. You hadn’t expected him to just forget about the whole thing, but you were hoping that his mood would be uplifted after spending some time with his friends.

Nonetheless, you knew that you had made a mistake and that you would have to pay the consequences now.

As you walked outside, you noticed the drizzle going on. It wasn’t much, but the dark clouds in the night sky made it obvious that it wasn’t long before it would start raining heavily. You opened the car door, and skid into the passenger seat. Harry already had the car started, and before you had time to buckle up your seat belt, he scurried off without a word. The tires of the car produced a sharp screech due to the force of the sudden turn.

You didn’t say anything, only adjusting yourself in your seat.

Harry continued driving towards the house that the both of you shared. But you couldn’t help but notice the death grip he had on the steering wheel. After a while, the awkward tension became too much and you felt like you were going to choke. You decided to face the consequences of your mistake as soon as possible, since procrastinating was clearly going to get you nowhere.

“Harry, I really am sorry about what happened-” You started, before he cut you off.

“Don’t Y/N, just don’t.”

He sounded so angry, unlike you had ever heard before. You had heard from a lot of people that Harry was the worst when angry. Though you had yet to encounter a seriously mad Harry, since he always made sure to control his temper around you.

It had started to rain harder outside, with heavy raindrops falling down on the wind screen. His knuckles had begun to turn whiter due to his extremely tight grip on the steering wheel. His face was set in a mad frown that was deadly to even look at.

“Harry, I promise that this wasn’t my intension. I was only answering their question and it just slipped out. I’m really sorry.”

“Sorry won’t cut it. I trusted you with my secret and you totally ruined it. I’m never telling you anything again. Now shut your mouth before I decide to kick you out of the car right now.”

This was so unlike him, the Harry that you knew would never, ever speak to you like how he just did.

Harry was known to be one of the most respectful people out there, and he had proved himself to you as a gentleman several times. Always treating you with intense care, feeding you chocolates during your period, opening the doors for you anywhere you went; he did everything to make sure that you were happy with him.

“Harry, please try to under-” Your sentence was left unfinished as the car halted to a stop.

“Get out.” He commanded.

“What?” Your voice was timid, compared to his. You had absolutely no idea about what Harry could do in his rage of anger, and you weren’t sure if you were ready to find out.

“Get out of the fucking car, Y/N. Or so help me I’ll do it myself.”

“Harry, it’s almost midnight and it’s raining so hard outside. Please don’t do this. I said I’m sorry.” You practically begged.

He wasn’t having any of it, though. In the blink of an eye, he unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car. He threw open your side of the door and grabbed your wrists. You tried to resist his grip, and he almost threw you to the ground. Your ankle twisted due to the heels you were wearing, and a painful yelp came out of your mouth. You were lying there in pain, with a ruined dress, spoiled make-up and sore wrists.

You tried to refrain him one last time.

“Harry, please stop.”

He shrugged off your hold on his wrist and went over to the driver’s side. He proceeded to sit in and drive away, leaving you a crying and broken mess in the middle of the road with darkness surrounding you and rain water pouring down on you heavily.

To some outsider, it may have looked like a scene freshly out of some movie. To you though, it was like your world had been torn apart. Yes, you had made a mistake, a horrible one at that. Harry had trusted you with one of his most sacred secrets and as his significant other, it was your duty to protect it at all costs. However, you had gotten caught up in the blissful moment and gone ahead and done the exact opposite.

In spite of that, you didn’t think that you deserved to be thrown out so harshly; in the middle of the night with strangers lurking around and rain falling hard on you.

Yes, you had broken his trust and knew that it wasn’t going to be easy to gain it back, but he had done the exact same thing, maybe worse. Your boyfriend, the very guy who was supposed to keep you safe and protect you from all the harm in the world, was himself the guy who had thrown you out in the streets, with absolutely no concern of what could happen to you.

And as you sat broken in the right middle of the street, with black tears staining your face and wet hair matted to your forehead, dress ripped and ankle twisted, you couldn’t help but wonder if things would ever be alright between you two again.

Funny facts about the Icelandic language

I get A LOT of questions about Iceland and what it’s like living here. So today I have decided to not answer any of the useful things I could tell you and just make a big shitpost about the Icelandic language. 🔆

Pika- Okay. So keep in mind that Pikachu in Pokémon quite commonly says pika. Like a lot. Pokémon is/was on TV here just like most other countries. Okay so, wanna know what píka means in Ielandic. Vagina. Not even kidding a little. ⚡️🐱

Bra- No, bra does not mean anything related to underwear of any kind. According to us, it’s the sound that ducks make 🦆

Hjúkrunarfræðingur- I know you’re probably thinking that this must mean something very smart and complicated. Nope. This unneccessarily long ass word just means nurse. Yep. 👩🏻‍⚕️

Strætóstoppistöð- another unneccasserily long word. Simply means “bus stop” 👐🏻

Leðurblökumaðurinn- In almost every country in the world Batman is just called Batman or something very similar. Yeah.. we didn’t get the note. Leðurblökumaðurinn it is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kind- it does not mean anything related to kindness or any other emotional expression. It means sheep. And according to us it does not tell you “baah” it says “me”. If it happens two times it makes “meme”. Isn’t that just wonderful? 🐑

Geirvarta- it means nipple. The weird thing is that it is made from two words “Geir” which is a pretty common male name here, and “varta” which means “wart”. Imagine if the word for nipple would be “JasonPimple”?! Poor Geir..

Not language related but: we have an app here where you bump your phones together to see if you are related before you have sex with someone. You may have heard this somewhere before but I am here to confirm that this is true. There are only 300.000 people in the entire country so accidental incest is very much a possibility. ⚠️

In Iceland we don’t have just one Santa, no,we have 13. And yes they bring you small gifts each of the thirteen days leading to christmas, but they also are known for stealing hot-dogs and candles, eating all your skyr (fancy yoghurt), slamming doors, and other not so bad but mildly annoying things. But their mom is a hideous troll lady that lives in the mountains and eats children. Yikes.. 🎄💀

We have at least two letters that no other country in the world uses: ð (capital Ð) and þ (capital Þ) and also other rare letters that are only used here and in other Scandinavian countries: ö (Ö) and æ (Æ).

To make the sounds of Ð and Þ put your tongue between your teeth and blow. Softly for ð and hard for Þ (should sound like Th in Thor/thing/thunder/etc)

Hope you enjoyed 🤜🏻🤛🏻

Distracting. { eggsy x reader short }

“The brief is simple, on paper.”

Merlin’s dulcet Scottish tones could be heard on the other side of the changing room door. Well, ‘dulcet’ might not’ve been the word but it was a word that stuck with you as you looked through the dresses that’d been selected for you. You had your hair up, keeping it out the way of zips, and you were in only your underwear, which seemed strange when you considered who was just a wooden door away.

“Fancy party full of fancy folks and you want us to go in, cause a small distraction, locate the information we need to steal and get the fuck out of there?” Eggsy’s rough London accent was anything but dulcet. You sighed, putting one of the dresses aside as a definitive ‘no’ option. “Language, Galahad.” You said through the door, rolling your eyes.

“English, (Y/N).” Her responded, in typical cocky fashion. You could almost hear the smirk in his tone. “Codenames only, please.” You said back, inspecting a dress with a considerate eye. The cut was good but the colour wouldn’t suit your skin tone. You put it aside.

“Agents, if you could pay attention.” Merlin said, remaining patient. This sort of back and forth was common between you two. He was well aware most of it was Eggsy’s fault. “Essentially, that is the mission. However, God is in the details. This mission requires the Kingsman level of discretion. As such, you’ll have to learn your roles well before you embark. It’s a standard set-up, purely a professional relationship of an employer and their assistant. Dressing for the occasion is also important, due to the dress code, as well as appearing as if you two belong at this prestigious, elitist gathering—“

“Alright, Merlin, we read the brief, we know what you’re on about.” Eggsy interrupted, in a fashion that was unbefitting on a gentleman. You rolled your eyes and supressed yet another sigh – honestly, this guy was supposed to be a diamond in the rough as a Kingsman agent, but how rough were they talking here? You were about to say something, as you always did in order to keep him in check, when you put aside a ‘maybe’ dress to reveal the final garment underneath.

Your eyebrows lifted and your mouth formed a small ‘o’ shape. Without a shadow of a doubt, this was the one. You deftly began to take it out of its clear protector bag. Suddenly, the conversation happening beyond the door became background noise as you moved to get into the dress, hoping it would fit. It slid onto your body like a silk glove. There might not even be a need for adjustments, it fit so well. Pulling up the back with the dress’ hanger hooked into zip, you turned as you looked at yourself in the mirror. Oh my.

“–I’m some kind of diamond geezer, who’s young but successful and hoping to make millions and all that, (Y/N) is my undoubtedly glamourous assistant, intended to act as a bit of additional arm candy to distract the target because he’s all about women young enough to be his daughter.” Eggsy elaborated. You could imagine him gesticulating to prove his point, as he usually did when he was annoyed. He sounded annoyed, probably because he felt like he was being patronised being told information he already knew.

Well, he deserved it. He clearly didn’t know his information well enough.

“Not quite, Eggsy.” Merlin’s tone was annoyed and he’d dropped the use of codenames. It reminded you of when he spoke to you as recruits – naïve, inexperienced and untrained. You turned to unlock and open the changing room door, just as Eggsy retorted with misunderstanding. “What do you mean not quite—“

You opened the changing room door and stepped out. The dress you wore was cross cut, clinging in all the right places to accentuate your figure, with a neckline that plunged in an elegant manner, drawing the eye to it, and the skirt was long and flowing as you walked. It was made of silk and decorated with sequins in an elaborate, beautiful pattern. In other words, it was stunning. It also happened to be your best colour.

“I will be acting as the avid, infamous diamond collector.” You said, hands coming to your hips, giving Eggsy a small, smug smile of your own. “And you will be my undoubtedly glamourous assistant, Galahad.” You were feeling pretty good about yourself. It seemed your entrance had made some kind of effect. Eggsy was doing an incredible impression of a deer caught in the headlights. Ha, you got him. Even if in a moment he would recover and give you some kind of sassy retort, it was good to savour this small moment of victory.

…The small moment elongated. Eggsy, as it happens, did not appear to be recovering. If anything, he was getting worse. His eyes were flitting about, taking in the sight of you before him. His body was tense, startled, and he swallowed nervously. Your smirk faltered and you were suddenly self-concious. Eggsy was staring way too much and–… Holy shit, was he blushing?

“—although (Y/N) will be acting as a distraction, meanwhile you, Galahad will be using the time she gathers to acquire the targeted information.” Merlin’s voice suddenly came back into focus. Blinking once, you turned to look at him, having to look as if you hadn’t suddenly just come back into focus. Merlin blinked back at you, then glanced at Eggsy. You did the same. Eggsy was blinking an awful lot, Adam’s apple bobbing as he attempted to look away from you and to Merlin. You did the same. Merlin had suddenly acquired a small smirk of his own.

“Well…” He said slowly, raising a dark eyebrow. “It seems (Y/N) will certainly prove to be… distracting.”

before it gets better the darkness gets bigger

NEW SHANCE FIC. FUCKING FINALLY lol. Sorry for the long wait, my final uni exams got in the way.
This fic is inspired by this beautiful art by @jaspurrlock .

this fic has a warning for non-con in chapters to come. it will be a dark one. warnings will be in the tags of every post as they may contain spoilers.

SUMMARY:  When Lance gets an invitation to the royal palace and the chance to reconnect with a lost love, he does not realise what he is getting himself into.

CHAPTER 01 - read on ao3 (a short one to kick it off as there is an intense longer chapter to follow soon)

When Lance steps through the large, fancy doors into the royal palace, he isn’t entirely sure what he is supposed to expect.

Under different circumstances, this would have be an honour.

Lance’s family, while they are nobility, aren’t high enough in standing to ever have been invited to official functions before.
And Shiro - No. The prince, Lance reminds himself internally. They’ve never reached a level of friendship that might have opened these doors to Lance or his parents.  

Keep reading

Tony Stark x Reader Masterlist

Originally posted by avengers-of-mirkwood


(By Request)

Summary: Your mission takes you to Paris. Back at your hotel, just as you’re about to take a hot shower and relax, Tony shows up at your door. A fancy dinner, a little wine, and a walk through the city streets… Who knew Tony Stark had a romantic side? (SMUT WARNING)

Hold On

(By Request)

Something went wrong on your mission. You just don’t know what. When Tony doesn’t come to bed after hours spent in his lab, you go to check on him. Once you find out what happened, you do your best to remind him that you’re there for him. (SMUT WARNING)

Everything and More

Tony’s POV; in honor of Tony’s birthday, you two have partied the night away. However, the night’s not over just yet. (SMUT WARNING)

Let’s Start Here

(By Request)

Having always been a little thicker than your fellow agents, you’ve always worked harder to prove yourself. The events of the day have lead to a downward spiral filled with self-doubt and anxiety. When you miss dinner, Tony comes to check on you. Then, after a brief discussion, he reminds you, spot by sweet spot, everything about you he adores. (SMUT WARNING)

Weight of the World

(By Request)

As personal assistant to Tony Stark, you’ve taken great care to get him to take care of himself. Something is off about him today. He’s slept in, something more than unusual since you moved into the tower with him. His need for comfort far outweighs your better judgement when he asks you to lie down with him. (SMUT WARNING)

The Suit

(By Request)

So, there’s this suit. The media calls it the Purple Suit of Sex. Rumor has it Tony only wears it when he’s on the prowl for someone new to take home. You once fell victim to the charms of the suit, more specifically the man in it. Something came of that night, though - feelings and a relationship kept secret from the world. That secret comes back to haunt you one night when Tony wears the suit. (SMUT WARNING)

All You Had to Do Was Ask

(By Request)

You were basically the Avengers House mother. You cooked, cleaned, and applied first aid whenever it was required - all in the name of college fees. A perk of the job was having two geniuses at your disposal. Bruce was easy to talk to, and your crush on Tony made it difficult to ask for his help. Then comes the day when you have no choice. Bruce is gone, and you have a deadline.

Thicker Than Water

(By Request)

You’ve spent your life wondering who your father could be, trying to piece him together with speculation. So, when your mother tells you it’s Tony Stark, you hop the first bus to New York. What’ll happen when you show up on his doorstep?


(By Request)

On your way to a mission briefing, you hear Natasha yelling at Tony. You join the fight when you see her holding a small camera in her hand. You’re left to wonder what he’s seen, and you find yourself intrigued by the same prospect. (SMUT WARNING)

Find You

(By Request)

After a mission goes wrong, Tony finds out that you were taken. He can’t eat. He can’t sleep. He has to find you, and he uses every resource he has to do so. (SMUT WARNING) 

The Right Place

(By Request)

Having a buzzcut in this business can turn heads and not always in the best way. It’s easy to feel out of place. It’s easy to feel less than beautiful. So, for one night, you take your appearance into your own hands. In the end, it’s Tony that helps you find your place. 

Just A Dream

(By Request)

For a long time, Tony suffered countless nightmares, sleepless nights. Things only got worse after Pepper left. Eventually, he did find comfort… in your arms. (SMUT WARNING)

Five More Minutes

(By Request)

Busy days can be tough to work around. What’s a couple of white lies when it means spending more time in bed with the person you love?


(By Request)

Song fic based on Kelly Rowland’s Motivation. (SMUT WARNING)

A Safe Place

(By Request)

You were a prisoner of a war that was being fought without your knowledge. HYDRA turned you into a weapon. The Avengers saved your life. Everyone knows it’ll take time, but there must be somewhere you can feel safe again.

Tony Stark Taglist: (PERMANENTLY OPEN) 

@captainamerotica @irishprincess9 @jaegers-and-kaijus @starkiewtf @thevanishedillusion @callingmrsbarnes @plan3tmadison @winchester-negan-one-shots @mrunmayi @purplekitten30 @babyblues915 @gabriels-trix 

I was thinking the other day about a celebration the Dalish might have for halla, inspired by Kukur Tihar in Nepal, where they adorn their antlers with herbs and flowers, and paint them with pigment. 

A Dalish inquisitor likely wouldn’t have access to any halla, so maybe they’d celebrate with any harts they had instead.

Joker Imagine - Identity Reveal

Originally posted by proud-directioner5xx4xx1

Your P.O.V.

Life was truly a mystery full of surprises. After accidentally sending my letter to the wrong person, we became very close. I was mailing a man who went by the name ‘Mr. J’ who lived in Gotham city. I was just a girl from England. To be honest that accident was the best one in my life.It didn’t take long until we got really flirty. Recently we even changed numbers but we still kept writing. It was fun.

Hello dear Y/N,

Writing to you this past year has been such a pleasure. You’re very funny and sweet. Each time I get a message or a letter from you, I feel really happy. You don’t even know what I look like or what I could possibly do yet you’re so kind. It’s like you’re really innocent but you seem to have that dark side somewhere.

Anyway, I have been thinking about something. I have a less busy week ahead of me so it would be a delight to have you here in Gotham. I could get you the plain tickets so you wouldn’t have to worry about that. My penthouse has a lot of guestrooms to choose from if you want to stay. When you receive this letter you should send me a message.

I’m crossing my fingers. You never know how much fun things are here. Please reply soon,

             -Mr J. ‘

That was one part of the letter he recently sent me. After talking to him about it we agreed that I would fly to Gotham. I was really excited and nervous to finally meet J. Yes there was a chance that he was a different person than what he had told me, but I couldn’t let this chance slip by. I cared about him.

A few days later I was in Gotham, one of the most dangerous yet beautiful cities on the entire planet. The airport was packed with people! I was tired after such a long flight but my excitement kept me going. Mr.J told me that there was a car waiting for me. He was working until 10 p.m. so we would meet at his club. 

That’s why I was wearing a really long black shirt that passed as a dress with a golden belt around my waist. It looked fancy but it felt comfortable. I also wore golden heels, a few accessories and my hair was in a low ponytail. My make-up wasn’t anything too shocking, just some lipstick and eye makeup. I also had a trenchcoat.

I held onto my suitcase as I walked through the mass of people. Then I saw a man in a black suit holding a sign with my name on it. The man had brown hair, tan skin and black sunglasses. Once he saw me, he put the sign down. I walked over with a shy smile. ‘’Hi’’ I told the man kindly. ‘’Boss told me to get you. He’s waiting’’ The man informed me very seriously. Dang J seemed like a really important business man. 

‘’Okay. I’m glad he’s waiting. What’s your name?’’ I asked J’s servant or whatever he was. ‘’I’m Frost’’ He let me know while grabbing my suitcase. What a gentleman. 

Frost and I drove away from the airport. It was raining slightly in Gotham and the skies were grey as J would often describe the city as. Cold, rainy and grey. But there were days when it was fully alive and life seemed like a party. I was mesmerized by the foreign city. I had never been to such a place!

The ride was quiet since Frost didn’t start any conversations. I just asked him stuff as we drove. Then we parked in front of J’s club. The building was super high! People were lining up by the door in their high heels, dresses and fancy clothes. The doors were heavily guarded but we got inside without second looks. 

Music was blasting through the club. I was so close to finally meeting him! I had an imaginary image of J in my head. He had crazy coloured hair that I knew. He seemed like the type of guy who had a few tattoos. I could see him in stylish clothes. But I wasn’t really sure of what I was expecting. Just a few more steps..

Frost stopped behind a wooden door at the back of the club. Then he knocked on it and cleared his throat. I heard footsteps coming closer and then the door opened. My eyes nearly fell off my head when I saw the man in front of me. He was so different but so damn hot!

Originally posted by thebreakofdawn

I saw that green hair I had heard about. Then I saw stormy blue eyes and tattoos. ‘’J?’’ I breathed out just to make sure it was him. His red lips curved into a smile. Then he opened his arms and I happily hugged him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and I leaned against his chest. He chuckled and hugged me back. Damn he was muscular!

This felt so unbelievable. He smelled so good as well but also a little like gun powder. ‘’You’re shorter than I imagined’’ He joked a little bit. I giggled at his remark. ‘’You’re hotter than I thought’’ I slipped out of my mouth without thinking. J stepped back and looked at me with a smirk. I felt how my cheeks heated up. Oh shit, way to go.

I caught a glimpse of his silver jacket and the maroon shirt he was wearing underneath. Before I could say anything to fix the situation, someone ran towards us. ‘’Joker, Joker!’’ A man yelled and stopped right next to me. Joker? J looked at the man like things were natural. Suddenly my stomach dropped as I realized something.

Mr J was the Joker!

‘’What got you running? I’m busy’’ J growled with a voice that sent a shiver running down my spine. He sounded harsh towards this man. ‘’Batman was spotted near the building. It might be a coincidence but I thought I’d let you know’’ The man panted out. I was just standing there in shock.

‘’Batsy? Ha! He won’t come in here. Now get lost before I shoot you’’ J warned the guy. He listened closely and left us alone. I didn’t know what to do. Had I been writing with the Joker for a year? Suddenly a lot of his mysterious writings started to make sense.

‘’What’s the matter?’’ J asked me while leading the way further into his office. Oh boy. ‘’I just..this feels unrealistic’’ I tried to speak. He stepped in front of me again and he put his big hands on my shoulders. ‘’Did you finally realize who I really am?’’ He wanted to know. Our eyes met and I saw a hint of worry in his. I nodded and then I took a deep breath.

‘’Does it bother you?’’ He kept questioning me. Suddenly I felt rushed to answer. ‘’No, not at all! I’m just really surprised’’ I reassured him with a smile. I wasn’t scared. If he was the same person as before everything should be fine. J smiled at my reply.

‘’I always knew that you weren’t the type of girl to run away in situations like this’’ He admitted with joy obvious in his raspy voice. Every cell in my body were screaming at me to kiss him but I wasn’t if I should. Oh fuck it, we only live once and regret the things we didn’t do!

I grabbed J’s jacket and pulled him down so I wouldn’t have to jump to reach his face. He knew what was going on so he helped me out by pressing his lips against mine. In that moment I felt like everything around us just disappeared. The warmth of his silky lips was so comforting and reassuring. I opened my mouth into our kiss and allowed him to deepen it. Before I knew it, we were french kissing in his office. My heart was beating hard and I felt so happy. It’s like this was the moment and feeling I’ve been searching for all my life.

Originally posted by theaosbacker

Things from sessions 1 and 2 of my current game of D&D:

  • The first character voice the DM used sounding like bullwinkle
  • “These are my fists, razzle and dazzle” -Tiefling Bard
  • “I roll to see if i know Wonderwall” -Tiefling Bard
  • “Can I use acid splash on the ground around them to free them?” “You’re going to kill me!!”
  • Upon coming across a large and fancy door: “Guys fuck this that has to be the boss door let’s go somewhere else”
  • To the war forged: “Oh man are you gonna Iron Giant this shit?”
  • The war forged using a door as a weapon
  • Disarming an alarm only to alert the goblins we were there anyway by tearing off the door
  • Hitting rats so hard with Ray of Frost they’re launched off the map and die
  • The mild mannered halfling monk getting all the brutal kills
  • “Can we give the halfling a piggy back ride?”
  • Essentially recreating the hula scene from The Lion King, but with a Tiefling Bard and a Halfling monk who happened to speak Goblin singing Ocean Man
  • A Kobold flirting with our sorcerer
  • “WAIT HE KNEW COMMON ALL ALONG???” “Yeah but he likes the sorcerer because she speaks draconic”
  • “I am 3 feet of whoopass” -Halfling Monk
  • “I’m gonna use ogre form” “He stands up and goes ‘ITS ALL OGRE NOW’”
  • “The d4 is the least fuckable die”
  • Critically failing on Ray of Frost and coating the floor in ice, followed by half of the party failing dexterity saving throws and ending up prone
  • Alternatively, everybody rolling nat 20s on perception checks
  • “I don’t know what it does but it sounds cool so I want it.” -Tiefling Bard
  • The entire party yelling “OH FUCK” when important plot things happened
  • Distracting a hoard of Goblins with pudding
Undeniable Heat Chapter 48: A Big Step

Jensen Ackles x Reader

1350 Words

Story Summary: You’ve just gotten a job as one of the makeup artists on the set of Supernatural. Nervous on the first day, you become completely awkward, winning the affection of the divorced Jensen Ackles. You try to fight your desire for him, but he thwarts you at every turn. Will you be able you separate work and play, or will you let Jensen win?

Catch Up Here: Masterpost

You had to admit, you were getting used to living in an actual house and not an apartment. It was nice waking up every morning without your neighbor’s music shaking the walls. Or the people above or below you yelling or arguing. You weren’t missing the elevator at all, or the hard to find parking. Sure, your last apartment had been nicer than most, but you loved the privacy a house provided, along with the easy parking and the backyard you could relax in.

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