fancy cheeses for all

one-lost-at-sea  asked:

Agree or disagree: Season four Benedict is like prime gorgeousness


unaired pilot, he is fresh meat. that succulent, so fresh, so full of potential, ohhh you just KNOW it’s a good cut of meat and you’re looking, not realizing you’re licking your lips because you’re so ready to get that fresh meat and thinking about all sorts of ways you can cook it into a delicious, juicy, meal

Originally posted by sherlockjw

s1 sherlock is like… damn this fucker, he’s like raw meat that you just took from the fridge. still cold, but you know when you defrost and tenderize him, he’ll be cooked till he taste so good. Medium-rare, that’s just right for this lil piece of deliciousness. Careful though, don’t cook for too long coz the meat is thin and you don’t want to overcook this soft fucker

Originally posted by consultingdads

and then there’s s2 sherlock, which is like “hello my name is SEX” and you died before you even manage a bite of your meal

Originally posted by consultingdads

s3 sherlock is like some serious fancy cooking meat in a red wine reduction sauce served all fancy with a cheese tuile

Originally posted by elennemigo

and then s4 is like a fancy ass steak sprinkled with motherfucking olive oil and rosemary and squeeze some lemon and a dash of salt and char grilled and caramelized to fucking perfection and even if you feel full it’s like “fuck i can’t look away” 

Originally posted by the-life-of-stella

how do i choose????

also i may or may not have been watching masterchef australia the whole day


warning: triggers apply. adult language, sexual themes, violence, offensive subjects, offensive behaviors. please read & reblog with caution.

❛ And what exactly does “hooked up” mean? ❜
❛ It’s like a car wreck… you can’t not watch. ❜
❛ What’s that smell? It’s either vomit or fancy cheese. ❜
❛ There is no God. We’re all gonna die. ❜
❛ The hell? You’re supposed to negotiate! ❜
❛ If you’re looking for money, I don’t have any yet.  ❜
❛ How do you feel about metal splinters to the eye? ❜
❛ Are you up-to-date on your rabies shots? ❜
❛ I don’t like that you’re getting hurt on purpose to make money. ❜
❛ You’re kidding me? You’re actually serious about this shit? ❜
❛ You’re kinda growing on me. ❜
❛ Wanna see how fast I can unhook your bra? ❜
❛ You make my life a living hell and I want you out of here now. ❜
❛ Half of the world has penises, why do people get so upset about seeing them? ❜
❛ You’re nothing but a warm mouth to me. ❜
❛ I think I’m depressed. I’ve been feeling kind of funky lately. ❜
❛ I never said it was yours. You just wanted it to be. ❜
❛ Wouldn’t be the first time somebody’s disappointed me. ❜
❛ I don’t mean to be an asshole. It’s just… genetic. ❜
❛ Fuck you is what you were invited to. ❜
❛ I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of pussy you’d be in juvie. ❜
❛ I want normal people problems. Like, am I getting enough fiber? ❜
❛ Hey, I think I just insulted myself. ❜
❛ Hey! What the fuck man! He’s/she’s dead! ❜
❛ Oh, could you be a little more vague? ❜
❛ You came all the way down here to talk about my pubes? ❜
❛ How the fuck do you not have a gun? ❜
❛ Sure you’re ready to pop your armed robbery cherry? ❜
❛ You should have seen your face. ❜
❛ You don’t know who you messed with, bitch. ❜
❛ You fuck with the bull, you get an ass full of horns! ❜
❛ I’m not used to having people yell at me all day long. ❜
❛ I have this friend. I think you two might really hit it off. ❜
❛ I’ve seen you put out after the first drink. ❜
❛ You know, I’d hug you but neither of us would like that. ❜
❛ I don’t get why just don’t use her/his face for target practice. ❜
❛ I want a fucking lawyer motherfucker! ❜
❛ You’re covering your own ass and you know it. ❜
❛ You know I used a condom. ❜
❛ Do you know where I can buy a gun? ❜
❛ You think you scare me? Bring it, bitch! ❜
❛ I’m starting to get fucking homicidal. ❜
❛ I will make this kitchen my bitch. ❜
❛ They’re having a party for kids across the street. No booze. ❜
❛ A shrink at school says I’m one of God’s mistakes. ❜
❛ I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is fuck you! ❜
❛ Did the two of us finish an entire gallon of box wine the other night? ❜
❛ I can’t handle anything up my ass without alcohol! ❜
❛ I’d be crying right now if I wasn’t so high. ❜
❛ I’m not my dad. You hear me? I’m not my fucking dad! ❜
❛ I would never do half the shit that you’ve done to us. Why are you even here? ❜
❛ Even the homeless get better stuff than us. ❜
❛ I am just as likely as anyone of this family to make something of myself. ❜
❛ You want to get shit faced in the middle of the day.  ❜
❛ You have no money yet you’re going into a grocery store. Interesting. ❜
❛ Let’s go get drunk and buy a gun. ❜
❛ It’s a shame when someone you love gets taken away, isn’t it? ❜
❛ If this is a relationship you wanna save, then you gotta fucking save it. ❜
❛ Off to deal drugs on a Saturday morning? ❜
❛ I’m probably biased, you deserve better than him. ❜
❛ If you don’t get out right now, I will shoot you. ❜
❛ Still don’t want your family to know? ❜
❛ Did I mention that I’m falling in love with you? ❜
❛ You can’t feel a persons headache by touching his head. ❜
❛ Are you robbing me with my own fucking gun? ❜
❛ How can you tell when you’re in love with someone? ❜
❛ Is that supposed to be some kind of insult? ❜
❛ I’m done living the way other people want me to live. ❜
❛ I think I was trying to prove something, not to you but to myself.  ❜
❛ If it wasn’t sex then what was the problem? ❜
❛ What do you want me to say? That I’m self-destructive? ❜
❛ Random destruction makes you think of me? ❜
❛ I haven’t abused marijuana like the rest of you, so yes I remember. ❜
❛ Your turf? What is this West Side Story? ❜
❛ All I’m gonna be thinking about while you choke me out is how much I love you. ❜
❛ If I don’t invest in myself, no one else will. ❜
❛ It smells worse than a dead hooker’s ass in there. ❜
❛ I don’t wanna be me anymore. ❜
❛ Why would anyone go to the zoo sober? ❜
❛ I’ve had so many abortions the next one is free. ❜
❛ I’d trade my left nut for one more hour of sleep. ❜
❛ How do you do that? The nice thing? ❜
❛ I’m sick of living in your shadow. ❜
❛ I never thought I’d say this but you were right. ❜
❛ Where can I get knives and blunts? ❜
❛ I can’t share a room with someone in constant state of arousal! ❜
❛ I’m sneaking antibiotics into his toothpaste just in case. ❜
❛ I got tasered for like a second and I crapped myself. ❜
❛ I’ve never seen you put on deodorant before. ❜
❛ I haven’t had a drink for two days…well granted I was unconscious. ❜
❛ I’ll be in the bushes across the street stalking you. ❜
❛ Is there anything more enjoyable on earth than humiliating your peers? ❜
❛ I need to buy a gun. For protection. In case there’s a shooting here. I’m scared. ❜
❛ It’s my job to tell you when you’re making a huge mistake. ❜
❛ Have you ever woken up naked in the street with no idea how you got there? ❜
❛ You’re either boning or you’re waiting to bone. ❜
❛ Doctors are thieves, they just have degrees to keep them out of jail. ❜
❛ You want me to be realistic? Okay, I’ll be realistic. ❜
❛ I confided in you and you told everyone. ❜
❛ I have no idea what that means but I’m enjoying trying to picture it. ❜
❛ I never made any fucking promises to you! ❜
Pepe and Pear

DISCLAIMER: None of these characters belong to me. They are the property of Crying Breakfast Friends and Pepe’s Burgers.  I just wrote this for fun.  PLEASE DON’T SUE ME!

Rating: PG for romance and crying.

The club was called the Midnight Snack.  In it’s prime, all of the ripest fruits and fancy cheeses in town showed up at it’s doors to dance and be merry.  But that was years ago, and now the club was just a rundown dive for all the snacks that the fridge had forgotten.

Everything at the Midnight Snack was almost past its expiration date.  Everything, that is, except for Pepe and Pear.

Pepe was a burger.  He played the ivory keys.  Pear was… a pear.  Every night, she would sit herself atop the piano and the two would sing duets that could make an onion cry.

They sang songs of romance and unrequited love.  It was their act, but Pepe always wondered if it were… more than an act.

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Uncle Jim and Joanna HCs
  • “You lied to me,” Joanna says, narrowing her eyes at Jim. “No, I didn’t,” Jim replies, a hand on Joanna’s shoulder to keep her near him in the crowded mall, “I volunteered to look after you while your father’s performing a very important surgery.” “You promised we’d go out and do something fun!” Joanna counters. “We’re out in a mall to shop, how is that not fun?” “You’re only here with me because you forgot dad’s birthday is tomorrow,” Joanna says, “and you need me to help you find a present.” “I’m so offended,” Jim replies, pulling Joanna with him towards a perfume shop, “also, don’t tell your dad. Please?” “Only if you get me one of those old fashioned GameBoys.” “Fine.” “Fine.”
  • Being as clever as she is, and generally quite mature, it’s easy to forget that Joanna’s just a child. And that sometimes, children are the best nuisance. Jim finds out the hard way; been flirting with Bones all night. Quiet movie after Joanna’s gone to bed, even going as far as a fancy wine and cheese platter to pretend to be a sophisticated couple. Jim’s all over Bones quickly, though. The movie barely finished, and Jim drags the other to bed. Heated kisses and hushed whispers. But then they catch small footsteps, and then a quiet “daddy?”. Bones pushes Jim off him, and immediately sits up straight. “What’s the matter?” he asks. “I had a bad dream,” Joanna says. “D'you want me to bring you back to bed?” “No,” she replies, approaching Bones’ bed, and Jim figures that’s their chance for the night gone. “C’m here,” Jim says, patting the space between them, and Joanna happily crawls in between them, “no monster’s gonna get you here.”
  • “What are you doing here?” Joanna asks Jim when she shows up at her school. “Hey,” Jim says, “I’m here because your daddy’s at work.” He sits down on the available chair next to her, casually leaning in to rest his hand on her back. “You wanna tell me why the principal called?” “I hit someone,” Joanna replies equally casual. “Why’d you do that?” “He was being mean,” Joanna says, “said I couldn’t be a captain because I’m a girl.” “What?” Jim asks, “there are loads of amazing female captains. That boy’s crazy.” “I know! I told him that. I even listed the first 10 female captains since the beginning of Starfleet!” Joanna says. “So did you hurt him?” Jim asks, and Joanna shrugs. “Not really. Just scared him. He doesn’t even have a bruise.” “Well,” Jim says, “violence is bad.” “You kick bad guys in the ass all the time,” Joanna interrupts, and Jim huffs. “Yeah, but that boy was just dumb, not bad. You know what you gotta do? Become the best damn captain Starfleet’s ever seen, that’ll prove him wrong.” Joanna sighs, reaching out for Jim’s hand when he gets up. “Can you try and talk daddy out of grounding me?” “Sure,” Jim says, “no problem. I’m very persuasive.”
  • He’s not. And somehow, Jim Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise, and adult man, gets himself grounded, too.
  • Joanna gets sick with flu. And Jim, being the worried guy he is, gets himself sick trying to take care of her (also fully ignoring Bones’ advise to let him take care of that instead). The two of them lie feverishly in bed, TV on while Bones makes sure they’re properly tended to. “You’re a doctor,” Jim says, “you can heal us in a second.” “I know,” Bones says, resting the palm of his head against Jim’s forehead, “but y'know what? That won’t help you build up an immune system for when a disease rolls around I can’t fix.” “You suck,” Joanna says, and Jim huffs. “I agree.” “Oh, well, you know, when you talk sweet to your dad like that, he’s definitely not healing you quicker any time soon,” Bones says, getting up from Jim’s side of the bed to make sure Jo’s got a clean glass of cold water, “now rest. Both of you. And stop whining. A little suffering is good for the soul.”
  • Bones is always depressed for the first few weeks after they leave Joanna behind for a new Enterprise mission. He’s still in contact with Joanna once a week on scheduled times, and so Jim knows Bones is devastated when he’s stuck in surgery. But rather than just letting that opportunity to have contact slide, Jim chats with Joanna instead. He records it all; them trash talking Bones and Joanna’s grumpy “I miss dad. And you too, a little, Jim.” When Bones finally does get to his quarters, Jim plays it back for him. It does miracles for Bones’ mood, and Jim finds himself thinking that’s so much more important than the sex that happens because of this gesture. That’s also when he realizes he’s madly in love with this stupid doctor, and he really wouldn’t have it any other way.
Pickup Limes

Based on this tumblr post. Was supposed to be a drabble, but it didn’t cooperate. Though I guess it’s still a drabble by my standards, yeah?

Summary: Lily loves to blow off steam in Waitrose. Tonight, she spots an unbelievably gorgeous man in the bakery. Modern AU, Muggle AU, Grocery Store AU (still def not a thing)

Read it on FF or AO3

It was probably ridiculous (no, it was definitely ridiculous), but she loved, really, really loved, a good trip to Waitrose.

Yes, it was posh, and yes, if she was coming from home, she had to take the tube past basically a dozen Tescos to get there, but sometimes she really needed to wander around and think about the kinds of people that would genuinely buy goose eggs.

She never really came here to buy food (she was not going to pay an extra £3 for muesli for fucks’ sake), but there was something soothing about walking around, looking at all the fancy cheeses and wines, wandering around the bakery bar and trying not to drool at the baskets of baguettes and shelves and shelves of bread and cakes.

Her head was still pounding from what had ended up being an incredibly stressful workday when she walked through the glass doors, and she headed straight towards the back of the shop. She’d just walked into the bakery when she spotted what had to be the world’s most attractive man standing in front of the artisan bread rack.

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last-to-fallaway  asked:

Mikannie head canons?

  • They are the epitome of enemies to lovers. They hated each other when they met, born out of jealousy. But, overtime, that jealousy turned to admiration, and they started to respect each other more than despise each other, and then they started to find more things to like. And eventually, they just fell together. Gradually, slowly, they grew to love each other. And everyone likes to talk about how it stared off so horribly and ended so wonderfully. 
  • They’re workout buddies. They love to go on runs together, sometimes taking a slower jog to just talk after a long day and other times in an all out race to decide who has to wash the dishes that night. They go to the gym together, lift together, swim together, etc. They encourage each other to be their best, and love to have another person at their level to workout with. 
  • Mikasa does all the cheesy romantic stuff, and it makes Annie a blushing mess. Mikasa’s all about getting flowers for big occasions, or making mac and cheese for dinner but make the apartment look all fancy with candles and everything. She uses cheesy pick up lines when they’ve been together for years. She’s the most cheesy romantic, and Annie pretends to hate it while loving it so much. 
  • Annie’s always cold, and is constantly stealing Mikasa’s jackets both at home and when they’re out. She always forgets to bring one, and Mikasa always has to pretend to be upset handing her own over (and eventually she just starts to bring two all the time.) Also, Annie’s feet and hands feel like ice 95% of the time, and Mikasa always jumps when Annie grabs her hand out of the blue or when they’re feet brush when they’re cuddling. Annie will sometimes just run her toes up Mikasa’s calves to make her squirm cause it’s too cute. 

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anonymous asked:

Butterfly kisses bc I don't know which ones are those

“have you ever had a butterfly kiss?” shawn asked.

the question was out of the blue, and you glanced over at him in surprise. “what’s a butterfly kiss?”

“i’m taking that as a no, then.”

“you still haven’t told me what it is,” you pointed out, sliding your chair closer to his. it was midday and you were in the kitchen with him, eating lunch. a fruitful trip to the grocery store had resulted in the spread of meats and cheeses that were set up all fancy on a tray, and you had picked up a baguette as well. it all felt very parisian, even if you were in canada and most of the meats were probably actually italian.

“it’s the eyelash thing,” he said, mouth full of food. you grimaced at him and he raised an apologetic hand to his mouth to cover it as he chewed and swallowed. speaking more clearly, he clarified, “like, when you flutter your eyelashes on someone’s cheek. so it feels like butterfly wings.”

“eyelashes?” you said. “that… sounds like a really weird sign of affection, but okay. try it.”

shawn laughed but leaned in suddenly, and your heart did that thing it always likes to do when he gets close - which is to say, speed up to an almost alarming rate. but instead of directing his plush lips to yours, he made sure that he was eye-level with your cheek. you stared down at him in skepticism, or as much as you could without going cross-eyed.

then shawn began to flutter his eyelashes, slow at first and then speeding up so they beat like, well, butterfly wings. the sensation tickled a little, but you didn’t move, lips curling into a grin at the feeling of it.

“so?” shawn said, pulling away only slightly so that his breath fanned over you. “is it still weird?”

“nah,” you denied, leaning forward to blink against his cheek just once to return the favor and hear the sound of his laugh. “it’s honestly kinda cute.“

read the other kiss-themed blurbs here!

Random thought?? So Stan is a skilled artist in his own way, he creates taxidermy creatures and cobbles together various crafts. What if one of the tourists who comes in is a snooty gallery curator and sees the stuff around the Shack and is like “Mr. Pines, this is exactly the kind of avant-garde outsider art my gallery is looking for. There is a certain je ne sais quoi to these, and people will pay a hefty sum for these eccentricities”  “Don’t know what Juno says quack is but you had me at ‘hefty sum’. So that’s how  Stan gets to be in an art gallery with all his stuff on display everywhere. He drinks a lot of wine, and eats all the fancy cheeses, and wrangles patrons. “My oh my, what is this delightfully quirky creature?” “What’s it look like, it’s literally a squirrel-duck. Lookin’ at it costs you five bucks.”  I mean, Stan being in a fancy art gallery opening (with his stuff being displayed) is hilarious to me for some reason?

and yes, basing your nation’s export economy on oil is stupid but my country’s export economy is based on selling milk powder and fancy cheese to China so maybe let’s all ease up on Venezuela
Hold My Hand

Fandom: DC Comics/ The Flash

Character/Ship: Barry Allen x Reader

Warning: FLUFFFF

Writer: Cassie

Words: 557

Requested by: Anon

Summary: Barry and Y/N go to scope out any danger at a millionaire’s party, as a rich newlywed couple

[Based off of:] Number 65 on this list

Originally posted by theflashdaily

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Dating Jimin would Include

o   Compliments 20/24

o   « Isn’t my (y/n) just perfect? »

o   “Look at you rocking those jeans”

o   “That booty thou”

o   “ Jimin your booty is cuter than mine”

o   Just that will make him turn into a blushing mess

o   Hair porn

o   Eye smile

o   Tickle fight

o   Him trying not to laugh while he record you & zoom on your face

o   Taking embarrassing pictures of you

o   Chasing after him


o   Both of your phone gallery will be picture of both of you

o   Sending you selca EVERY !! SINGLE !!! DAY !

o   If he sees you sitting in the audience , he’ll go overboard . So extra

o   ‘ Get that tongue back inside young man’

o   RUDE

o   Playing with his hair because it’s perfect

o   “What shampoo do you use? Unicorn tears? ”

o   Jimin punching my whole family & I , would hurt less than dating him

o   Skinship

o   His hands is glued to your body

o   Even if the boys are there , he’ll casually put his hand on your thighs & you’re like

o   “Jimin , we’re not alone”

o   “  I know ~”

o   If they start teasing you ,  he’ll ask them to stop but of course they won’t , so he’ll just sit far from you ;however, a minute later his head will be on your lap

o   Lol , you thought he won’t do it again ? I’ve some news for you

o   Nothing can stop Park Jimin from physical contact

o   Holding hands is a must ok , even if it start sweating you’ll keep holding hands

o   “Jimin, my other hand is feeling lonely; can I have this one back?”

o   “No ~”

o   ‘Jimin , my butt isn’t for you to hit’

o   Probably think that Jungkook is cuter than you at times

o   Nicknames

o   At first , he’ll get flustered when you call him by a nickname but then he’ll keep muttering it to himself

o   “(Y/n) just called me chimchim” I’mbadwithnicknamesi’msorry

o   “Chimchim”

o   “Chimchim”

o   “Say Chimchim one more time”

o   Dates

o   He’s a romantic awkward turtle sprinkled with cheese

o   Fancy restaurant

o   Stargazing on a rooftop  with all the lights and junk food

o   Random dates at unbelievable hours

o   ‘Jimin it’s past midnight’

o   ‘ It’s never too late for a road trip’

o   Shining smile

o   Taehyung third wheeling 5 times out of 10 we both know you’ll be the one third wheeling

o   ‘Is Tae coming?’

o   ‘Of course, the more the merrier!’

o   Ending at a PC bar

o   Getting close with Tae

o   Taehyung being a huge shipper , making you do weird stuff

o   ‘ Ok , & now Kiss ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ’

o   And you both are like ‘ WHAT’

o   Precious giggle

o   Dorm dates : Movie night with the boys

o   Sharing him with the whole squad duh , especially Tae & Kookie

o   ‘(Y/n) , just come and watch the movie , Jimin ain’t yours tonight’

o   Jealous Chimchim when you’re too close to a member

o   ‘I’m your favorite right?’

o   #Jiminprotectionsqaud

o   Jimin teasing suga like there is no tomorrow

o   Protecting Jimin from Yoongi’s wrath

o   ‘I’m too young to die’

o   Protecting Jimin from all the hate , because he’s an angel

o   ‘No , you don’t need to lose weight’

o   ‘But-‘

o   ‘Your tummy is cute as it is’

o   Stuffing his mouth with food

o   ‘Tae’s grandma likes us chubby’

o   Pickuplines

o   Deep awkward seducing voice

o   ‘Put your expensive ‘hard to get’ title down just for tonight , just for tonight..’

o   ‘Who taught you that?’

o   ‘ Namjoon hyung ?’

o   Puns

o   ‘What did the oceans say to each other?’

o   ‘Nothing they just waved! ‘

o   ‘Park Jimin.’

o   ‘Just one more: What do you call a fake pasta?’

o   Praising this ball of sunshine

o   ‘ You did well ~’

o   ‘Our Jiminie is working hard’

o   ‘ I think I’m blind , your smile is just too stunning’

o   ‘Have you eaten a CD? That high note was gold’

o   Him liking it too much & getting all shy or him smirking and biting his lip

o   Being the kind of couple that make people cringe

o   Flowery background ‘Shalalalala ~

o   Always got each other’s back. ALWAYS

o   ‘You can do it!’

o   ‘I’m rooting for you babe’

  • Often asking you if you love him 
  • and you’ll always have say yes & give him tones of reasons & he knows but he just like to hear you saying them
  • Pillow talk
  • He’ll mostly whisper because it’s a precious time of the day where he get to talk to you about everything & nothing , things that made him laugh or things that hurt him 
  • His hands will go through your hair & will be drawing circle on your palm 
  • He’ll always want to hear about your day & will be all ears .

o   Precious giggle

o   Jealous , protective Jimin if he feel competitiveness

  • Playing Pranks on the members or at each other 
  • Sunshine 
  • Jimin caring Jimin
  • Hard working Jimin
  • Him making you so proud

o   You can’t get mad at him , you  just can’t ok .He’s too precious

o   Stealing his sweaters

o   Jimin with glasses

o   Big scarf Jimin

I tried my best ,this is so cheesy I’m sorry.

 Jimin is just so perfect

Admin Pon-

Warm Places (Twelve Days of Christmas)

❄️ 4/12

A/N: this Christmas would be the Christmas Bucky Barnes finally showed you how much you mean to him.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: fluff, cuddling, kissing, Christmas, present giving of cuteness, pure fluff, you’re welcome


Originally posted by sebastianstahn

Originally posted by heartsnmagic

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Hellenic Polytheism 101: Xenia

Xenia is a concept in Hellenic polytheism that is very close to my heart. It’s really one of the core parts of my practice, and I don’t know if I would be comfortable trying to separate it from my practice, because it is so heavy wrapped up in everything I do.

Xenia is hospitality. It’s our responsibility as hosts to treat our guests well, and our responsibility as guests to be kind and thankful to our hosts. There are dozens of examples of xenia in ancient Greek writings. From Penelope and her suitors, to instances of the theoi disguised as humans seeking shelter, food, and drink from mortals. Xenia goes beyond a religious act, confined to ceremony, to a daily practice and a way of living our lives.

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Cavemaster Brian pulling a taste out of a beautiful wheel of @jasperhillfarm Bayley Hazen! He’s using a fancy cheese tool called a “trier,” which allows us to taste all the way to the center of the wheel!

Made with Instagram

anonymous asked:

Brotp Kai and wolf headcanons please

That one’s interesting because we really didn’t get a chance to see them interact much over the course of the series, but I’ll give it a shot.

  • Wolf is initially kinda awkward around Kai (around pretty much everyone he doesn’t know well, actually), but they eventually bond over mutual respect for Cinder and making fun of Thorne (who, to be clear, everyone loves, but who is also teased by all).
  • At official events, Wolf usually just hangs out in a corner somewhere because the limelight makes him feel sub-conscious. Without fail, Kai will join him for a while at some point during the evening and sits next to him muttering snide remarks (this is Emperor Sass we’re talking about here) about the people he doesn’t like (Linh Adri. Snotty lunar aristocrats. Etc.) until Wolf is first snickering, then chuckling, then flat-out guffawing. It helps make those evenings a lot more pleasant for Wolf and Kai wants everyone to be happy at his events. 
    • Bonus: Wolf’s guffaw is this wonderful rumbly-growly bark. Cress may or may not have recorded it at the last Peace Festival and Scarlet may or may not have made it her portscreen’s ringtone.
  • Also at said official events, there are always a few particularly obnoxious journalists who trail Kai around, snapping unflattering photos and asking prying questions and he just cannot get rid of them…but Wolf can. They’ll be hovering around Kai and suddenly there’s just this malevolent presence behind them. A shadow falls across their vision. They turn around and there’s Wolf just hulking over them, brawny arms folded, eyes narrowed, teeth bared in a smile that really, really, really isn’t a smile. Needless to say, they typically don’t bother Kai for the rest of the night.
  • Sometime after Winter, when everything’s a bit calmer and everyone has a little more time on their hands, Kai asks Wolf if he would consider giving him some of the self-defense training he gave Cinder because he really doesn’t like being helpless in tense situations. Wolf is more than happy to oblige because he is basically everyone’s big bro and Kai flies out to the farm every week or two for a lesson.
  • As a thank you, Kai keeps sending those samplers you get from gourmet food retailers with all the different fancy cheeses/meats/fruits/etc. for Wolf to try since he’s still testing out Earthen cuisine.

Send me a BrOTP and I’ll do headcanons!

I just got back from a 6 mile hike and I’m….. so excited 2 take the best shower of my life and then spend all evening drinking wine, eating semi fancy cheese, and watching shadowhunters

Haus Cat

i really need for the Haus to get a cat because reasons so here, join me

  • one day bitty goes to pull his pie off the windowsill and there’s this orange tabby cat with one ear a little messed up and an infected eye from what was probably a fight with another stray or maybe a raccoon
  • bitty enlists ransom and holster’s help to catch the poor stray but, obviously, they fail miserably (seriously who thinks to catch a cat with sriracha and peanut butter???) and call dex who seems like the kind of person who can catch animals. he shows up with a half a pound of cold-cut turkey and a cat carrier. the stray is safely contained in ten minutes.
  • nursey comes along and pays for the vet bills. it turns out that the cat had an infection in her eye (they find out it’s a her cause the vet) and the vet gives them medicine and does a full check-up and tells them the cat is okay aside from the infection and tells them to give her all of the medicine
  • they bring the cat back to the haus and make sure it doesn’t get out until it had it’s full dose of medicine. by the time the dosage is up, the cat has become accustomed to the pie crumbs and the fresh turkey and the special kitty-pouches that cost a fuckton of money but make the cat so fucking happy that she won’t leave. no one protests. a new container goes up next to the pie fund labeled “cat money”
  • somehow the haus has adopted a cat. it only goes downhill from there
  • no one can agree on a name. bitty says it should be something pie related since he’s never heard of a cat who likes pie before and holster thinks they should call her “lemon” after liz lemon and nursey wants to name her after some cat in some obscure poem or novel that absolutely no one has read (”Ms. Mistoffelees is a great name” “shut up nursey”) and jack just calls her the word for cat in Quebecois
  • they cat usually goes to whoever she wants or responds to the person who is holding food because she has so many different names it’s hard to keep track and to be completely honest she loves food.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

as someone not from michigan, what is a pickled bologna and what makes it so important

it is exactly what it sounds like and as someone who loves vinegar and someone who loves mystery meats i consider it a perfect food. ideally consumed with butter crackers and pinconning curds, but a good colby or cheddar is also acceptable. it is impossible to make it look appetizing because it isn’t, it’s garbage, it is so so good but it’s impossible to try and fancy it up the way you can with summer sausage because it’s bologna. make all the fancy meat and cheese plates you want with it but in the end it’s vinegar bologna and it will always look like a lunchable with delusions of grandeur.

there are other brands but they are irrelevant because koegel’s is the good shit

christmasace  asked:

Do you have any cute Nathanaël headcanons? ovo I love the stuff you have for all the other characters too though, so also funny Plagg headcanons?

Aw, I’m so glad that you like my stuff!!! :3 I try really hard, so I’m glad that you enjoy it

As for Nathaneäl, he can sing a high tenor because he’s a late bloomer. He’s really smol now, but once he hits college (college, not collège), he grows two feet and suddenly is taller than everyone and no one has any clue how that happened. Also he is swarmed with women because he is now a tall, shy, sensitive, artist boy. He is so scared. He was never prepared for this. Someone help him.

And Plagg, well, one time he snuck into a fancy restaurant and ate all the cheese they had. It was awful and there was almost a riot of rich people who wanted their goddamn cheese. He is also responsible for eating several of the past Chat Noir’s out of house and home. He once tried to fly to the moon because someone said that it was made of cheese. It did not work.