170722 Music Core pre-recording fanaccount #1
  • Chen: You've been here since 8pm last night?? Isn't it dangerous?
  • EXO-L: Yes~~
  • Chen: Wah... You guys are tough...
  • Suho: How is it possible to be dangerous when there are 300 of them? They just have to say they are EXO fans and no one would touch them. We (EXO) are people who have superpowers.
  • Chen: If i earn a lot of money, i'll turn the EXO-L lightsticks into tasers.
Osaka dome fanaccount 180218

I’m writing this after getting some food in my stomach while sitting under the covers in my hotel room and looking out at the night lights in Osaka. I feel incredibly grateful I got to experience these concerts. I know what it’s like to be sitting at home streaming and wishing you could be there, because that’s usually where I am. And I know this time, even though there was a lot of apprehension, so many people wanted the chance to support SHINee in person. I’m thankful I got that opportunity, and I hope I was able to bring at least a portion of all of your well wishes for SHINee into the Dome along with me.

Today was so much easier. Infinitely easier. I’m sure there are people who won’t feel the same, but I feel lighter and more hopeful tonight than I did yesterday. I’ll try and write about some things I didn’t before so I’m not too redundant.

SHINee had an easier time tonight. I won’t pretend it wasn’t difficult for them or they don’t feel a huge weight of grief, but they smiled and were more at ease and teased at each other and clearly felt better than they did yesterday. Even if some smiles were forced, I don’t believe for a second they all were. Yesterday, pulling that band-aid off, made it impossible for them to hold the pain in, and today was a lot less raw.

Because SHINee seemed to be doing better — and probably because many of us knew what to expect — the mood of the concert was dramatically different. We were able to feed off each other’s energy and be more comfortable. Because of that, I was able to pay much more attention during the high energy and joyful parts of the concert today.

So, on to the concert itself:

The opening VCR is really beautiful. Whoever worked on it did an excellent job.

Colors of the Season was more stable vocally today. SHINee starts out standing in a line on stage with spotlights on them, and I realized it was the only time other than the end that they stood on the flat stage like that. During the song, the stage lifts them up high toward the lights before lowering them back down.

I didn’t talk about this before, but I really liked the medley of songs with the clock ticking in the background they played during the first break. It was a look back, and the way they edited the audio was really haunting. It hurt, because I couldn’t help but think of happier times, but I also don’t want to ever forget those memories. I liked that they had little audio snippets of their history. A reminder.

When they came out and started Stranger, the mood was already better than the 17th. I was seated about 10 feet from the middle track that they traveled down a lot and close to the front stage, so I could see their expressions well. The stage moved out towards the center and Key was faced toward my section. He went up close to the edge of the stage (this always makes me so nervous!!) and hyped us all up a lot. Right before the lights went out, he smiled at us, and I felt something loosen in my shoulders. It was clear that today would be different.

I saw a lot of people say Taemin seemed angry-sad yesterday, and I’d have to agree. I don’t think he was pissed, but he seemed closed off and like he was trying to focus on hitting his marks well. He already seemed more, I guess, normal at this point in the concert. He also started shedding clothes, so. You know. Definitely more back to normal. I saw the other members do something to perk him up a few times in like the first half hour of the concert, but after that he was running well on his own steam.

They had their short first ment, which had the same content as the first night but was nowhere near the same. Yesterday they stood in a stiff line with their hands folded together, often looking down when it wasn’t their turn to speak. Today, Onew smiled softly when he spoke (again, I felt such relief), and Key also seemed to have an easier time.

This next part, the Jonghyun tribute, was of course still hard, but I still found it easier than yesterday. I think this was in large part because I knew what to expect, but SHINee held it together the whole time and I think that also contributed. Kimi ga Iru Sekai was the most heart-wrenching for me. Just the image of them standing around the empty center platform is a lot. I saw Key mouth “I love you” when they turned to face Jonghyun’s spot. I thought I must’ve misunderstood because it definitely looked like I love you in English, but since he said it later I think it really must’ve been. It seems like he was doing that throughout the concert, because other people spotted him doing the same at different times.

If I didn’t love Diamond Sky before, I do now. Making that diamond shape has become absurdly meaningful, and raising up my hand alongside SHINee and the music and all the other Shawols in the crowd was so powerful. It’s not a feeling I want to forget any time soon.

The fanlights all changing color to a medley was next and was so cool. I love these wi-fi controlled lights and hope someone got a video of it for you guys. They did all sorts of cool things throughout the concert, like shifting into the shape of multi-colored stars across the stands and flashing like cameras and turning into a shifting rainbow along to Colorful.

SHINee came back out and performed Sherlock. This is one of the songs I thought would be difficult for them to cover, but they did a really good job both nights.

Love Like Oxygen was next, and I completely forgot about this yesterday but it was one of my favorite parts. They sing up to the bridge and then the music pauses and the lights dim. Some deep blue ones go on and the stage they’re on rises. They stay frozen in place and this eerie, haunting music reminiscent of the earlier “journey through our past” medley plays. Then Jonghyun’s vocals played out so clear and pure and echoed through the whole stadium. Only after that do the lights come back up and they continue on with the rest of the song. It was a beautiful, subtle tribute and indicative of how they did their best to incorporate him throughout the concert.

Hello was a lot of fun, and they were smiley and joking through all of it. Lots and lots of cute fanservice. Same for To Your Heart, and the crowd got really into it.

I wrote yesterday that the Dazzling Girl - Lucky Star - Downtown Baby trifecta was fun and one of the only happy parts of the concert. And I still feel they did a great job with it yesterday, especially in the context of such an emotionally harrowing concert. But today was ENTIRELY different. The girl next to me had also attended the day before, and we kept making big eyes at each other because it felt like we’d stepped into another concert altogether. I can genuinely say I had fun during these songs. After yesterday, I’d kind of been dreading the second day, but suddenly I had this big smile I couldn’t get rid of. SHINee was just out there giving it everything. Taemin was grinning and messing around with fans. He also shouted something at the beginning of one song, and I have no idea what it was but the whole place laughed. Which was really nice <3 Onew was pulling silly faces and waving his arms like crazy at everyone while going around on the carts. At the end of Lucky Star, he moved around the blocks (they got it on Star!) so that they said “Stay” then he hopped up on them and did that one move from Danger with his arms flung behind his back. He stayed like that for a good five long seconds too like a total goof. Key was being so sweet and soft to people he passed by and kept the energy up. He was far away from me the whole time, so I saw less of him sadly. I watched Minho a lot up in his hot air balloon, and he kept pointing to people and telling them to smile and then giving them a thumbs up and a firm, approving nod when they did it. He reminded me of a dad lol. He was really, really emotional and almost serious, kept putting his hand to his heart, and I could feel how much he loves us. Seriously.

Next was the dancers’ solo (which was good!) and then Hitchhiking which is still so. cool. The part where they’re on opposing stages coming closer together and having a dance-off… SO COOL. I was sat right in the middle of it so I got the perfect viewpoint. It’s almost like they’re each daring the other pair to go harder, and they got really into it. I don’t have too much to say about the rest of the songs in this part other than they definitely kept the energy up.

They went away for a while again and we chanted “SHINee”, and then Shaband came out and led us in clapping and starting to sing Sing Your Song. Still love this one at concerts <3 Yesterday, we only sang it a capella once, but today they had us keeping going just “once more” like four times. (Key helped us keep going when we faltered.) It was beautiful. The whole place was full of singing, and they stopped for a while and let us do it alone. Minho took out his in ear to hear better, and Taemin smiled really genuinely. Onew had sparkly eyes. You could tell they all wanted to hear it.

I’m With You was a return to something a bit more solemn. The lyrics have taken on a real poignancy. It almost feels like a message to Shawols.

There was another short ment, and once again they were more at ease than before. There were some small smiles and little laughs from shawols. They introduced the new song, and I’m looking forward to everyone getting to hear it clearly. It’s great and catchy, and I think I liked it even more the second time.

Then came Replay with all the old footage on the screens. It wasn’t just old performances of Replay — they had all sorts of meaningful moments like the first Tokyo Dome concerts, all the way back to debut days. This was still hard for me, and they didn’t look at all happy during it.

SHINee went around and did their bows and once again were smiling and waving soooo much at everyone. Much different from yesterday. They stood and talked, saying mostly the same thing as yesterday with a few additions. But their attitude was very different. They weren’t standing so stiffly in a line (like they were nudging each other and silently communicating things as they normally would more) and they spoke more comfortably.

Key said “I love you” to Jonghyun in English and sent kisses up to the sky. At one point, the others must have thought he was done talking, because they bowed and Key looked at them like “huh? what?” and shawols laughed.

After each one of them was done speaking everyone shouted their names loudly and cheered for an extended amount of time. I think everyone wanted to get across our support as much as we could. The cheers were especially loud for Onew.

Before they went backstage, we started chanting SHINee as loud as we could. Minho took out BOTH of his in-ears to listen and Taemin clapped his hands high in the air in approval. They waved goodbye and the curtain/partition came down to block them.

We kept chanting for them until they came out to perform the last song. As soon as the lights lit up the mic stands, people all over started shouting “Jonghyun”, just like we’d shouted for the others when they finished speaking during the ending ment.

This song will always be a gut punch. I knew by this point that they were singing “I’m by your side” and Jonghyun’s last line was “I’m by your side always”. This song hurt the most and there’s no contest. They performed it beautifully. At the very end, Key began to cry and put his head down. Minho looked at Jonghyun’s empty place while the recording of his voice played. He really had a rough time too, but not until they’d already finished singing. Yesterday we were silent (well, crying) while they put their roses on their stands and left, but today people shouted for them. I heard plenty of people shout “Jonghyun” again.

It’s a hard way to end the concert, although it’s fitting. The lights come up and they start playing other music, and you’re left there in this other headspace. I didn’t talk to anyone for a few minutes while I gathered myself.

So while today may not have been exactly easy as we might’ve used to think of it, it was definitely easier. There was more genuine happiness. Yesterday I was nearly left feeling like I couldn’t see a way forward, but not today. I’m feeling a lot more optimistic.

I’m glad I got to go to both shows. I think we all needed yesterday, even though it sucked. It didn’t feel good at all. But I think maybe we needed to let it out, all together, and I’m including SHINee in that. Having done that, it was like we were allowed to try and be a little happier. Yesterday was straight-up raw, barren, cold pit in the stomach grief. Today still had a lot of sad, but it was at least a little bit more peaceful feeling. There were still moments where I felt pretty scraped up. But we’re always going to have those.

I hope if you were listening along you could feel the energy change. It was really palpable. Shawols were more ready, and SHINee seemed more ready too. They really managed to turn an experience I was dreading — after that first day, I wasn’t sure I could do it — into something beautiful and touching and honestly, genuinely fun for good parts of it.

Please don’t mind me getting a little personal here, but sometimes I have doubts. I trust SHINee a lot, and I find that they’re generally very open and honest with us. But occasionally I’ll have a little niggling doubt that they’re just saying something because they feel like they have to. I know it’s k-pop — I know that’s not uncommon.

But there are a few things I know for a fact after all of this:

They love each other. (Although I never doubted this)

They love us.

They love this group and treasure what it means to them.

I know that’s all true.

I can’t predict the future, and it’s all scary right now. But I can at least hold on to those things. They tried so hard to reassure us through these concerts, and I think they were also trying to reassure themselves. I hope we did enough for them. I don’t know if we can right now. Before they went off stage, Minho and Taemin put up their pinkies in a promise and we put ours up in return. I really want to keep that promise, no matter what.

They did Jjong proud. I didn’t have a lot of expectations one way or another going in to this. I just wanted to be there. But the concert was put together beautifully and thoughtfully. They did this unimaginably difficult thing with so much bravery, and my heart’s full because of it. I think I cried more writing all this up than I did all day today, just because I’m so incredibly touched by what I saw. I keep having images flash through my head of their earnest expressions, and their smiles, and their little moments of communicating with shawols. I’m in awe of what a special, unique thing we have.

I’ll join the streaming crowd next week for the Tokyo concerts. Until then and forever, let’s keep doing what Minho asked and remember Jonghyun, our wonderful, shining diamond in the sky and fifth member of SHINee.

Seventeen members names on Mingyu’s phone:

Hoshi: ttungji (chubby hamster)
Jun: moon juni
The8: yongpali (probably referencing a movie of the same name)
Dino: dolmaengi (stone/boulder)
Dokyeom: doreunja (crazy do)
Jeonghan: angel
Wonwoo: jeon-sang
Joshua: hong josa
Woozi: woozi music (although some other fanaccounts heard it as woozi woozi)
Scoups: escoupstastu
Vernon: vernoni/beononi
Seungkwan: jinjja boo seungkwan (the real boo seungkwan)

Edit: all the names have a ❤️next to it

© Marvelous Mingyu
Trans © @97skmn take out with full credits please

( 180914 ) yeongdeungpo fansign
love violet ☾ do not modify.

( translated by tentagonly, yeodachi / source toomuchidol, yap_kino )

kino cried at today’s fansign. they were talking about ‘just do it yo!!’ lyrics, and he talked about how 11 persons (members ?) used to live in a dorm, and the water pressure in the bathroom is weak so they would washed up by twos… then he cried. after he stopped crying, he said, 'my feelings don’t go the way i want them to these days.’

180416 CBX Busan fansign
  • Fan: Oppa, i hope everything that is giving you a hard time will come to me
  • Baekhyun: I won't allow it
  • Fan: I am good at forgetting things (that gives me a hard time) like that
  • Baekhyun: I am good at forgetting them too
  • Fan: Ah...
  • Baekhyun: I will absolutely not allow it