A man sneezes while five other men are talking over him. You know exactly which one sneezed.
Your brain is now unsure if someone has actually said this or if you can hear their voice in your head.
There is a cult for an editor. We are all members of said cult. We all bring our hands together above our heads. We worship this editor. PE/\KE. SPE/\K. P E /\ K E S P E /\ K
There is an infinite number of Adams.
You click on a video that is 10 minutes long. You black out and come to hours later, watching a different, but similar video.
You are called a shizno and you feel insulted. You do not know what this word means, but you are insulted.
All your money is disappearing. You don’t know where it’s going, nor do you remember spending it, but merchandise keeps showing up on your doorstep. You have so much merchandise. Your room is covered with so many posters that they cover the windows. No way in. No way out. You only wear merchandise now.
One man is constantly constantly shirtless and this is not questioned.
You wanted to watch a silly show about soldiers in a canyon. You didn’t know what you were signing up for. It wasn’t this. Anything but this.
There are two pairs of Joel and Adams and no one ever knows which one a person is referring to.
There are screencaps of tweets on tumblr before the staff has even tweeted it.
Another hypothetical situation has been discussed. They must have hundreds of millions of dollars at this point.
A man is impregnated with an alien child, but this is fine. This is perfectly normal. This child grows up and plays on the basketball team. This is perfectly normal.
You feel the strange compulsion to add “as dicks” to everything you say.
There have been terrible, terrible things done For The Kids.
For some reason the dynamite is kind.
Certain state names make you cry.
One man is simultaneously the dumbest and smartest person alive. You do not question this.
A different man is at once a murderous dark god, a loving husband, and a gigantic nerd. This, too, is never questioned.
There are four of the exact same person. Not cloned, however. The clones are a different story we must never speak of.
Everything is also a gun.
You must pick a team in the great battle of red versus blue. Friendships have been ruined over picking the wrong team. There is no remaining neutral.
No one thinks twice about giving a child access to weapon gun hybrids, nor do they reconsider letting them fight the monsters of the world. Clearly, a man has made many, many mistakes.
You do not know who this drunk man declaring that he is the cheese master is, but you accept his mastery of cheese.
We wonder why we’re here. We see it as one of life’s greatest mysteries.
I played around with GIMP the other day, using the Achievement Hunter logo to test some features- here are some of the results. Transparent ones are above, white background ones are below. Feel free to use (but please credit)!
(all above images are 839x765px; feel free to trim down/resize, and contact me if interested in recolors.)
Could you do an Ethan (Crank) where the reader and him go one a mini gold date and end up angry and screaming at there shit golf skills like in the Golf With Friends game and its hella cute because Ethan is like on the ground yelling at the ball to listen to the reader. Thanks!
Word Count: 946
“I’m really glad that you came today.”
“Yeah, me too! It’s been so long since I’ve played mini golf.” Ethan had just payed the man at the front and he turned to look at Y/N and saw the excited grin on their face. A smile played on his own lips and he didn’t notice that he was staring until they arrived at the first hole and Y/N shook his arm.
“Ethan? You ok?”
A small blush crept up his cheeks. “Yeah, I’m great! I’m in my natural habitat.”
They raised their eyebrow but smiled nonetheless. “Natural habitat?”
“Yeah, I’m the best golfer alive, this is my domain!”
They didn’t say anything else, but the smile on their face turned into a sly grin as they motioned to the golf ball. “Alright then, Mr. Domain, work your magic.”
He hesitated a little before grabbing the golf club and walking towards the ball. “Don’t mind if I do!” He swung the club around a little until Y/N cleared their throat, causing heat to crawl up his neck. After stalling for almost a minute, he finally lined up the ball and swung the club back, only to completely miss the ball when he swung back.
“That was fantastic! You’ll have to teach me that move sometime!” Sarcasm was dripping from every word they spoke as they slowly clapped their hands.
“Oh please, I’m just warming up.”
After another ten tries, however, Ethan had only hit the ball once, but by the thirteenth time, he finally hit it into the hole. The whole time he was violently groaning as he tried to stay calm. He didn’t want to look like an even bigger idiot than he already did. Y/N, however, was leaning against a wall with a smug smirk on their face.
“Ok Mr., I’m the Best Golfer Alive, step aside and watch the real champ show you how it’s done.”
*five minutes later*
“YOU FUCKING BITCH. GET IN THE GODDAMN HOLE!”
The golfers around them were giving them dirty looks and on guy yelled over to them, “Hey guys, it’s just a game, calm down.”
Ethan looked up from his spot on the ground, where he had been yelling at the golf ball, his face as red as Y/N’s. “HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?”
Y/N hit the ball again and it passed right by the hole, just barely missing it. “GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. I TOLD YOU TO GO IN THE HOLE.”
“LISTEN TO Y/N, YOU BASTARD.”
They tried again and finally, it went in the hole and Y/N screamed out in surprise. They turned to Ethan and wrapped their arms around his neck.
“I FINALLY GOT IT IN!”
“Heh, that’s what she said.”
They gave him a deadpanned expression but it soon broke into a small eruption of giggles. Ethan looks at them and smiles but his smile falters, which Y/N notices.
He hesitated as he fiddled with his thumbs. “It’s just that, I brought you here because I wanted to impress you. I was going to show you how good I was at golfing, which I am, by the way! I don’t know what the hell happened today, but I am great! And then I was going to offer to show you how to get a hole in one, and I was going to do that cheesey thing like in the movies, you know the one?”
“Ethan,” They took a step towards him and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, “I’m having a really great time. I believe that you’re good at golf, you were probably just nervous, I know I was.”
They both grin at each other and continue to the next whole, where Y/N motion Ethan over to them. “Go ahead.”
He raised his eyebrows. “What?”
“Do the thing.” It took him a few more seconds to realize what they were talking about but when he did, he squeaked out a small, ‘oh!’ and rushed over to them. He didn’t automatically put his hands around them, instead he hovered them over their shoulders until they chuckled and pulled his arms around them.
It only takes a few seconds for him to relax and wrap his arms around them tighter and rest his chin on their shoulder. They line the ball up with the hole but before they hit it, Y/N turns their head towards him so that their faces are only a few inches apart. They can feel each other’s breath as they both lean in a little until their lips connect.
When they pull away, they’re both smiling like idiots and Ethan buries his face in their neck. They stay like that for another minute before finally hitting the ball, only for it to go nowhere close to the hole. They don’t say anything but it seems like everyone at the golf course is waiting for one of them to blow up. Still in the same position, they look at each other and nod.
“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.”
“WHAT THE FUCK.”
“YOU HAD ONE JOB.”
“WE CAME OUT HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND I’M HONESTLY FEELING SO ATTACKED RIGHT NOW.”
“JUST GET IN THE FUCKING HOLE.”
“THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.”
They’re both yelling so intensely that they don’t notice the employee walking over until he taps on Ethan’s shoulder and tells them that they have to leave. Supposedly they were being “obnoxious,” and “not appropriate for the children,” and evidently “you can’t cuss out the golf balls.” After flipping off the golf balls one more time, they leave the course with their arms wrapped around each other and happy grins on their faces.
It’s been like five years, hi guys.
So I was feeling some of those, didn’t go to rtx blues so I drew up a cool dude I will hopefully meet someday.
I tried doing a repeating background for the first time so Woo, not great yet but I’m working on it!