Quickest player death.

D&D story time.
I was running the first sesson of a new campaign. Everyone starting at level 1. We had an Elf Druid, a Half Elf ranger, a Dragonborn Sorcerer, and a Tiefling Rouge. As the party was going through introductions,

5'2 90 lb. Tiefling “I don’t like to be touched.”

6'3 250 lb. Dragonborn “I pat her on the head.”

Tiefling “I bite his hand”

Ok so you bite his hand… roll to hit

Rolls NAT20.

Roll 1d4 damage…?

Rolls 4 doubles to 8

Dragonborn sorcerer only has 8 hp.

Ok so you bite his hand off and he is now bleeding out.

No one has any healing pots or magic. All level 1 charactors.

Dragonborn rolls 3 on death save.
Next save Nat 1.

Dragonborn is dead.

Tiefling “I said I don’t like to be touched.”

7

(he did)

Admiral Horatio Nelson, died at The Battle of Trafalgar 1805. His last words were “Kiss me Hardy”, but many tried to later pass it off as “kismet” to avoid embarrassment.

random MCR drawing bc I just miss them alot ok.
words from Famoust last words, Danger days spider and Revenge on the left hand 🖤🖤🖤🖤

Famous Last Words
My Chemical Romance
Famous Last Words

‘Cause I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I’d never speak
Awake and unafraid,
Asleep or dead

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone

Honey, if you stay, you’ll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home



He called my bluff!

Context: playing Curse of Strahd. Players are in a town that the vampire couldn’t get into and pissed him off, and so clouds full of lighting with his face appeared over them and was hitting the general area with lighting.

Fighter: literally has 5 hp left “Ha! That’s right! Why don’t you come down here and fight like a man?!”

Monk: has 6 hp and no Ki left “oh no.”

Paladin: not wearing armor, has 9 hp “you didn’t.”

Fighter: “what?”

DM: “… so another flash of light hits the ground, and Strahd appears before you. He thanks you for the invitation.”

Everyone starts screaming.