It’s 2016 and I am still trying to figure out why in God’s name so many people hate Ronald Weasley.
For a moment, just think.
Harry Potter and Ron Weasley both have what the other desperately wants and needs. It’s right there in the Mirror of Erised from the VERY FIRST BOOK.
Harry is desperate for a family, a loving, caring FAMILY.
Ron is desperate to just be freaking NOTICED for once.
Ron is a part of the most incredible loving family ever.
Harry is famous before he can walk and talk, and gets bowed to by strangers in a shop.
One of the things that makes their friendship so beautiful is this stupid IRONY, and how they are friends despite this.
But Harry cannot ever give Ron what Ron needs. All Harry can do is make the matter WORSE, however hard he tries to do the opposite, because he’s HARRY JAMES POTTER and any friend of his is not going to get a look in, no matter whether they deserve it.
And then we have Ron, who is able to provide for Harry the next best thing to a family of his own, a chance to become part of a family who will treat him as if the only difference between them and him is red hair and freckles.
And Ron knows that if he does this, if he gives Harry what he needs, it will make his own need EVEN MORE UNATTAINABLE.
Because the fact that he has so many brothers and sisters is what gives him that need in the first place.
And welcoming ANOTHER damn brother?
An extraordinarily FAMOUS extra brother?
Can we just consider how selfless an action that is?
And yet he still does it, he still writes to his mum for a Christmas present for Harry, he still invites him to his overcrowded, rickety house ever summer, he STILL flies a car to SURREY just to give his friend a family, the thing he so desperately needs.
chris lee: hey dude bro suho my man my brother from my another mother my gym brother 💪 PUSSY am i right 😛👅 never stop grinding 💪 come on man ! my bro #suho #kim #junmyeon from #exo my famous brother 😂🔥lets go out to eat but as BROTHERS cause im not into that! 😂🏳️🌈like u and ur other brothas 👀✋️protein shakes dude 🥛💪 #exo #suho #LAbros
suho: please dont hurt me
It had been a few months since you’d left your life in Portland, Oregon to begin your travels with the not-so-famous Winchester brothers, Sam and Dean.
Sam had a thing for you, or so you thought. He’d shoot you tiny glances out of the corner of his eye as you sat behind Dean or in the middle of the backseat, brush casually against you in tight corners when you had to leave and enter the bathroom at the same time, and smile at the little things you said or did. And to be honest, you had a little flare for him in the bottom of your heart.
Much had changed in him since the first day in the Ministry of Love, but the final, indispensable, healing change had never happened, until this moment….He gazed up at the enormous face. Forty years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath the dark mustache. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.
Hello! This is my very first fan fiction, so if its terrible please ignore it and carry on with your day :) This was written for the ‘Lord of Shadows Challenge’ hosted by @incorrectdarkartifices and @carstairsdaily. It is based on the characters Kit and Ty from the Dark Artifices series written by @cassandraclare. Theme -April Week 9: Vampires. Thank you both for the opportunity to write it! Here it is!
The Clave had become crueler, stricter over the years, regarding the Downworld. The Accords were still silently intact, but it had been long since Downworlders and Shadowhunters had taken up arms with one another.
An outbreak of rogue vampires had swept the Shadow World. Some of Valentines experiments, from many years ago, had survived and escaped their prison, the location of which was still a mystery. They were now infecting humans and already turned vampires, turning them into a species much like that of the Forsaken, except with fangs and annoyingly inconvenient immortality.
The Claves instructions? Kill immediately. An order, funnily enough, that didn’t differentiate infected vampires from non infected ones.
The streets were dark and vacant. It was after all, three in the morning. Nothing could be seen, save for the glowing white light that floated along in the murky blackness, illuminating the figure who held it, as well as his companion. They were clad in dark gear, and the colours of their hair starkly contrasted each other; one with a head of gold blonde and one with ink black. Anyone of the New York Shadow World may have recognised them as the great and formidable Jace Herondale and Alec Lightwood, famous Shadowhunter warriors, brothers and parabatai, who were known and feared among all beings, heavenly and hellish.
Be that as it may, this was not New York; it was in fact Los Angeles, and the boys with hair that could be mistaken for that of Jace and Alec’s, went by the names of Kit Herondale and Tiberius Blackthorn.
Ty held his witchlight ahead of him, illuminating the dark asphalt in his path. Kit walked close beside him, hand on the hilt of his seraph blade, ready to unsheathe it at any moment. He glanced around him uneasily; this was only his second or third time out in the field, after 3 or so years of training, and he hadn’t yet mastered the art of total and utter fearlessness that accompanied the job that was hunting demons. Ty had offered to mark him with a fearless rune, however, Kit was very strongly opposed to that idea, especially since Ty didn’t need one himself.
Ty noticed Kit’s wariness, and hid his grin.
“You know, it would be a lot more strategic if we were to use the night vision rune, so that we could see in the dark. This witchlight is either scaring everything off, or we have 100 vampiric eyes on us right now. We are kind of a walking target.”
Kit scoffed. “Runes are much too Shadowhuntery, and I still totally object to all of this. I mean, sure there’s that one useful healing rune -”
“The iratze,” Ty drawled, enjoying winding Kit up. Kit knew exactly what it was called, and Ty knew it. He had marked them into Kit’s skin with his own stele many times.
Kit narrowed his eyes. “Whatever, THAT one is useful. The rest are just, like cheating. Magical cheating.”
“Ah,” Ty nodded mock understandingly. “So a night vision rune is too unnatural, but an angelic stone, powered by heavenly magic that only glows at a Shadowhunter’s will, isn’t?”
Kit shoved Ty, and Ty laughed. Kit liked the sound of his laugh, something he didn’t really hear often; smooth, velvety and light, kind of like music.
“So,” Ty started wryly once he’d stopped laughing. “How was your Herondale bonding session with Jace yesterday?”
If Kit wasn’t completely oblivious to almost everything around him, he might have noticed the hint of jealousy in Ty’s voice, at the fact that Kit liked hanging out with someone other than him.
“They aren’t bonding sessions, they’re training sessions!” exclaimed Kit.
It was true, Jace having taken great interest in Kit the moment he learnt of his true last name, had requested private training sessions with him. Kit, who at first, had thought upon the idea with great disgust, was swayed only when Ty had convinced him. Kit also had to admit that he was curious about Jace, and given that his entire family history had been a lie, had really no choice. Besides, although he’d never say so, Kit had come to like Jace a lot.
“Sure,” Ty grinned. “What did you guys do?”
Kit huffed, and ran a hand through his golden hair. “We practiced a whole bunch of sword techniques and then he showed me some new jumping skills and mid-air manoeuvres. Then we went out to get hot chocolate and talked about stuff.”
“Yeah,” Kit replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Family stuff, Shadowhunter stuff. I think he’s trying to pass some kind of esteemed Herondale legacy onto me, incase he never has any children. Which honestly sucks, considering he’s THE Jace Herondale and no one could really live up to that, especially someone like me.”
Kit kicked at a pebble on the ground and watched it bounce away from him.
“Of course you could,” Ty said firmly, taking Kit by surprise. “Also, I’m sure he’s not trying to do that on purpose. He probably just really likes hanging out and talking to you, you’re about the closest he will ever get to having a younger brother by blood.”
Kit remained quiet. He had never really thought about it like that. Ty had a funny way of doing that to him, making him see above and beyond, with new perspectives.
“I guess you could be right,” Kit said thoughtfully. He grinned. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to hang out with me? I’m perfect.”
“Oh please,” Ty scoffed, although, when he glanced at Kit’s clear blue eyes, golden hair and facial features of the graceful, Herondale-esque nature, he couldn’t help but agree. “I think you’ve been hanging out with Jace a little too much. Or is that arrogance an unfortunate trait all Herondales inherit? Along with that god awful blonde hair?”
“You love my hair,” Kit said defiantly.
“No,” Ty retorted. ‘Yes,’ he thought.
Kit smiled, a blinding, beautiful smile. Ty had spent quite a while internally training himself to not be entirely distracted by it, which had indeed been a difficult feat.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Blackthorn. Anyway, we talked about Parabatai. He explained that whole strange situation to me, anything I hadn’t already read from the Codex. He talked about himself and Alec, and aside from the weird intimacy of it all, I think it’s actually kind of cool.”
Ty looked at him in shock, hand over his heart. “You finally found an element of Shadowhunting cool and I wasn’t there to witness it? Unbelievable.”
Kit rolled his eyes. “The whole ‘fighting together makes you stronger’ thing is pretty neat.” He regarded Ty curiously. “Have you ever considered having a parabatai?”
Ty shrugged. “If I did, it would have always been Livvy. She has asked me a few times, but I said no. If you have a parabatai then you’re forbidden to study at the Scho -”
“The Scholomance, yeah I know,” Kit interrupted bitterly. Any time Ty had talked animatedly of his desire to join the Scholomance, to leave the Institute, Kit could only think of Ty leaving him, and could not even pretend to be happy for him.
“Anyway,” Ty continued warily. “Would you ever have a Parabatai?”
“Well, yeah I think so. Like I said, it sounds cool. Although, I don’t know who it would be,” Kit mused. “It’s not like I’m that fond of very many Shadowhunters.”
Kit glanced at Ty, the boy who had been his one and only friend, who had healed him and taught him all he knew and convinced him to embrace the part of himself he had been so adamant on pushing away. “To be completely honest, I’d probably choose you.”
“I wouldn’t choose you,” Ty said frankly, still looking straight ahead.
Kit sighed. He was never angry at Ty’s bluntness, even when they first met, he knew it was a part of him that made him different. It only sometimes made him a little bit frustrating.
“I know Ty, you told me just then your Parabatai would be Livvy. I was just -”
“That’s not why I wouldn’t choose you.”
Kit frowned. “Well then why-?” He noticed Ty had stopped walking, and turned to see him standing there, staring at him with an incredibly unreadable expression.
Suddenly, Kit remembered one specific passage from the Shadowhunter’s Codex. One he had read over many times, although he didn’t know why.
A passage that condemned the explicitly forbidden act of falling in love with your Parabatai.
Ty stepped towards him slowly. He was half a head taller than Kit, something he liked to tease him about to no end.
Kit noticed that Ty’s pale skin was slightly flushed, even though they had only been walking. He was suddenly aware of the closeness between them, and could count the light freckles that dusted Ty’s nose. He could see the way that the moonlight illuminated his angular cheekbones, sharpened his straight and defined jawline and glinted off of his black hair.
Kit was overcome with the urge to run his hands through that hair, and clenched his fists so hard that he could feel his nails pierce into his skin.
And god, his eyes. Their usual beautiful grey was now a glowing silver, framed by long, dark lashes. Kit remembered the first time he had seen those eyes, as silver as the knife that Ty had held to his throat when they first met.
He remembered 14 year old Tiberius Blackthorn, who had lonesomely ventured into the dangerous world, so desperate to protect the people he loved that he would risk his own life without hesitation.
“How beautiful,” he had thought.
Ty gripped the side of Kit’s waist with one hand and brought the other to his face. He brushed a purely golden lock of his hair out of his eyes.
Those cerulean, sea blue eyes that had barged in on Ty’s life, knocked down the walls he had built around himself and taken up permanent residency within him, no matter how hard he had tried to shake them.
Time seemed to slow down, as he cupped one side of Kits face, fingers lightly gripping the soft curls behind his ear and thumb running across his cheekbone, downward and over his lips, which were partially open, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. He felt the sharp curve of Kits jawline under his hand, and the muscles that moved as Kit swallowed.
They were so close that that Kit could feel Ty’s light breath on his mouth; the sweet smell of mint and a hint of chocolate. Kit vaguely recalled Ty chewing on a plain milk chocolate bar before they left for their mission. He had bought it for him from a convenience store, because he knew they were Ty’s favourite. Kit wondered if the taste of chocolate was still left on his lips, and found himself wanting dearly to find out.
Kit’s glanced upward from Ty’s lips, only to discover that Ty was looking at his own. Only micrometers apart, all either of them would have to do was move forward -
Kit’s eyes widened. He grabbed Ty and shoved him behind himself, holding him there. In one smooth, singular motion, he unsheathed his blade, cried out its angelic name and plunged it into the heart of the vampire that had sped towards them, towards where Ty had been seconds before.
He briefly glimpsed its deranged eyes, dark veined face and fangs coated in black blood before it exploded into nothing.
The world was silent again, save for his and Ty’s heavy breathing. He was faintly aware that he was still standing protectively in front of Ty, gripping his arm and holding it behind his back.
“Jace teach you that, did he?” Ty said, still trying to catch his breath.
Wordlessly, Kit nodded. He turned to face Ty, not letting go of him, searching him for any injury he may have sustained, when suddenly they heard a cry. They turned just as Livvy bounded into them, knocking them both over.
“Are you alright? I’m so sorry, I should have been here! Are either of you hurt? How did you kill it? Oh my goodness, please tell me you’re alright! I tried calling you to tell you that there was an Infected in your area but neither of you would pick up! Oh, I was so worried-”
“Chill Livvy, we’re fine,” Kit said muffled, his mouth full of her hair. They all sat up and Ty fended Livvy’s fussing off as best he could.
“Livvy quit it. Kit killed the vampire, we are safe, I promise. See?” Ty held up his hands, “Not even a scratch.”
Livvy wrapped her arms around him tightly. Ty responded, wrapping his own protectively around her small frame, stroking her hair, whispering reassurance and words of comfort into her ear, as they had been doing since they were tiny children.
He looked at Kit, who couldn’t look at him. “Kit,” Ty started, but Kit was already on his feet.
“You were right about the night vision rune. I’ll use it from now on,” Kit said, trying to keep his voice steady.
The shakiness of it had nothing to do with the vampire that had just attacked them.
“You’re hurt,” Ty stated with slight anguish. He let go of Livvy and lightly held Kits forearm up so that he could investigate it. There was a deep gash that was now welling with blood; the vampire had managed to claw at him before it disappeared.
He hadn’t even noticed, he was too preoccupied with making sure Ty was okay.
“Kit,” Ty said gently, “Let me -”
“No it’s fine, I’ll do it,” Kit said abruptly.
He pulled out his stele and drew an iratze on his arm. Within seconds, the pain that had momentarily been there had vanished, and the cut begin to heal itself. With a start, Kit noticed that the skin on his palms that he had broken with his fingernails had begun to heal as well.
Ty noticed this too.
He tried to speak, but Kit cut him off once again.
“We should get going. I’ll see you both back at the Institute.” With that, he walked away briskly.
“Kit!” Ty called, but he didn’t turn around. He was too busy forcing himself not to miss the feeling of Ty’s hands on his skin, of his fingers in his hair, of his soft looking lips so goddamn close.
He tried not to think about the fact that Ty had said his name three times within the last minute, forced himself to stop feeling that certain way all three of those times, no, every time, every single time Tiberius Blackthorn said his name.
He tried not to think of the reason that they would never, ever want to be parabatai.
That was just it though. However hard he tried, however much he forced himself, he just couldn’t stop.
Casey Affleck has won the Oscar for best leading actor and I just want to remind everybody he is a sexual predator and his super famous brother Ben and best friend Matt Damon have been using their A-list status to protect him.
“I’m so tired of teenage girls stopping me on the street thinking I’m my brother. I get it, he and I look a lot alike. That’s what the word identical means. But I really thought the fact that I’m covered in tattoos and he’s not would help people tell us apart. Apparently not.”
Kaufman on Kaufman: An Interview with Andy’s Brother Michael
When I was a kid I used to love Taxi. It had been cancelled for a number of years by the time I got into it, but I watched the syndicated episodes whenever they came on Nick at Nite. Thinking back on it now, most of the characters—even the ones who went on to be megastars—are blurry and ill-defined in my memory. Andy Kaufman’s portrayal of the bizarre immigrant cab mechanic Latka, however, is crystal clear. That’s not surprising. As with everything Kaufman did, Latka was memorable because he was so damn unique. He was miles away from any other character on television—on Taxi, he sometimes seemed to be on a different, more surreal show—and Kaufman was just as far away from any other human in real life. Whether he was standing alone on stage nervously playing the Mighty Mouse theme song and lip-syncing only the chorus, orwrestling women and declaring himself the World Intergender Wrestling Champion, or fucking with Letterman decades before Joaquin Phoenix, he was one of a kind, which is why he is still so widely respected today. Oh, and he was also Elvis’s favorite Elvis impersonator.
On Saturday, an exhibition presented by Jonathan Berger, titled On Creating Reality, opens at Maccarone gallery in the West Village. The show will feature a boatload of Andy’s personal effects, as well as a rotating cast of his close friends and family members, at least one of whom will be at the gallery at all times. These people—who are part of the exhibition themselves—will be available to chat with visitors and offer a unique look into the life of one of contemporary culture’s most enigmatic figures. In preparation of the show, and because I am a gigantic Kaufman fanboy, I called up Michael Kaufman, Andy’s brother, to talk about the show and his brother’s life.
VICE: Hi, Michael. I just wanted to ask a little bit about the show. Do you know what sort of artifacts are going to be there? Michael Kaufman:I know some of them. His most recognized Elvis jacket will be there, as well as his famous pink Foreign Man jacket that he would take off to become Elvis, and also the mock shirt he tore away. Andy was an author and we published three books for him after he died. Not only will the books be there—that’s not a big deal—but you’ll be able to see handwriting of Andy’s. The World Intergender Wrestling Belt will be there. His 11th grade report card, which has a lot of red on it.
How did he do? One of his 11th grade teachers said to my mother, “The only reason I’m passing your son is I don’t want to take a gamble at having him in my class again next year.” Also in the collection is a wonderful series of communications where Andy went to visit a girl who was dying. She was a fan of his, and when his plane was delayed in Chicago on its way to Washington, he drove out to Demotte, Indiana, to visit her. Word got out at the hospital and Andy wrestled three people. I have pictures. They were supposedly nurses and maybe one patient’s mother. It’s the only time he ever lost a match. He let them beat him. And then there’s a letter from the mother, thanking Andy for doing that. Seven weeks after his visit, she died. That whole correspondence will be there. Andy never told anyone about that. I only knew about it because I went through the stuff.
What was it like being Andy’s brother? Were there times when you saw a bit he was doing on TV and didn’t know if it was real or not? Yes. One time I told him not to let me know what was really going on, because when people asked me questions I didn’t want to lie to them.
Can you tell me about one of his gags that duped you? A couple of months after I told him not to tell me anything anymore, he was on the TV show Fridays.
Empress Maria Feodorovna (wife of Paul I, not the other one) commissioned a diadem from the famous Duval Brothers. The Empress wanted something that would remind of the Russian fields, and so the brothers created a diadem of oak and laurel leaves, bordered by sheaves of wheat.