(Disclaimer: before I get started, just let me say I don’t begrudge anyone else their opinions on this matter, and perhaps there’s an in-between solution that would please a lot of us, but this is just my take on what we actually saw. Also, I am not really a wedding kind of person. My family loves to get married almost as much as they love to get divorced, so I have a cynical take on these things in the first place)
So, about that big Luke/Lorelai wedding …
I’m actually glad we didn’t get to see what was originally planned.
Don’t get me wrong, the flash mobs sound cute. And I actually like the Luke-Danes-and-Kiefer-Sutherland-are-secretly-fishing-buddies detail. Kiefer is a tad eccentric and he moonlights as a country singer who occasionally hits up the Alabama hipster club. I figure if he’s willing to hang out with our rednecks, then he can make it to a random Connecticut diner owner’s wedding.
But this big, expensive wedding where Lorelai wears multiple wedding dresses based on famous brides throughout history?
It just sounds totally out of character to me.
Even Lorelai’s OG wedding in season 6 that she so desperately wanted at the time (and IMO, she was not quite ready for, but that’s another topic) wasn’t that big of a soiree. She planned the entire wedding in a day and was going to pull the whole thing off with about four months of planning. It didn’t sound anything near as elaborate as what ASP described.
Let’s look at this semi-realistically. Lorelai planned the wedding herself in four days. (That alone is the biggest indication that this show is a fantasy, but let’s move on). She’s been romantically involved with her prospective groom for nearly thirteen years. They are around fifty years old. They’ve been living together for a decade. They’ve been married (albeit very briefly) to other people. They both have grown children.
The idea of this actually being the wedding to end all weddings is really silly.
I know there’s this idea floating out there in some quarters that ASP owed the fans this elaborate wedding because Luke and Lorelai didn’t get their “middle” (aka the early marriage, the 2.5 kids, the white picket fence). I’m not going to go into too much detail on that one (suffice it to say I think it’s ridiculous to state that their relationship didn’t mean anything unless it develops among those lines, especially since they were almost 40 and had already put in plenty of miles raising teenagers when they got together in the first place) but the fact that their wedding happens at this late stage is a clear indication of why it doesn’t need to be an elaborate shindig.
Their relationship was a long continuum that included years of friendship, almost-moments, mutual support, parenting crises, passion, fights, break-ups, reconciliations, and years of domesticity. It didn’t begin or end with their marriage. It had been going on for twenty years before they get to that point. Neither of them were fruitlessly pining for that final step this time, or holding off because one of them desperately wanted it and the other one wouldn’t budge. It happened when they both wanted it, and they didn’t feel that they were missing anything before it happened. It was part of the story, but far from the entire story.
So given all of that, it makes sense that their wedding is not really that big of a deal. It was a quiet moment that finally brought them and Rory together officially as a family, something that’s needed given the bomb she drops on her mother a few hours later. I imagine that this event will bring them closer together, and hopefully integrate the family together a little more (and that also includes April and Jess), but not that much else in their lives will change. They’ll still get up and come home to each other like they’ve been doing for the past ten years. They’ll still navigate the various foibles of their adult kids and life will go on, as it’s been going on for many years before then.
It is a happy ending, but it’s a lived-in one. Which is why the wedding we saw fits. At least for me.