This is the text post connected to that drawing I made.
And today, November 30th, marks the end of my first year on Tumblr.
Of course I’d celebrate by drawing 44 people in one sitting.
But seriously. This is more of a celebration of the fact that within one year of creating a Tumblr because of Homestuck (and, consequently, a Twitter account), I’ve made so many friends that I never expected to have.
When I say I love you, I mean it. Sometimes it scares me how deep the feeling is rooted in my heart, but love is something nice to have and I’m happy just giving out so much because you all deserve it; sometimes I’m scared that I might be a little too overbearing, hahaha.
It might sound cheesy, but you all brought colour into my life. That’s the reason why I asked you your favorite colours; that way, every colour that I see now has a special meaning to me.
(It also made me realize that a lot of you guys like shades of blue and green and I should have drawn out the lineart AFTER asking for your favourite colours but welp hehehe)
You all mean so much to me, and I love you a lot. Every single one of you. Even those who aren’t here in this huge as butts family portrait of sorts. It’s sort of doodly and not very nice looking, but I was smiling the entire time I was drawing this, and I guess that’s what counts.
It’s sad, actually, how after nine months have passed since I arrived in a new country I still haven’t found any people to actually see every day, go out with when I need to, talk to whenever I need to, just like I did at home. Sure, I’ve made acquaintances, but there’s always a sense of detachment there. The funny thing, though, is that even if I’ve never met you in person, you guys were always there for me from the very beginning, and even as my circle of friends on Tumblr and Twitter soon began to grow, you’ve remained steadfast and present, even if sometimes we can’t talk that much anymore because of school or other reasons.
Looking back, it’s almost a miracle, making friends with all of you. I admire everyone because you’re all so talented and have so much to be proud of that it makes me proud to be your friend as well, and I’m glad you consider me your friend. I feel so, so lucky just to be laughing with you and crying with you and excitedly peeing all over the Internet with you or whatever shenanigans we get up to (there are always shenanigans, it’s an occupational hazard). You have no idea.
You guys were and are always there for me, and to be honest I don’t think I would’ve made it this far without imploding if it hadn’t been for your friendship. Loneliness is dangerous, and I’m grateful that just by being there to scream at me or talk to me over Twitter or through asks or Skype or text message, you kept me from succumbing to this loneliness entirely.
I call you my famiri and my friends, and I mean it every single time. You’ve done so much more for me than anyone else (other than my friends at home) ever has, ever since I had to leave the place I called home all my life for some frigid landlocked province in Canada.
Even my parents are glad I have you. They’ve gotten so used to me talking about you that I don’t even refer to you as “Internet friends” anymore — just friends. Friends who happen to live borders and continents away, but friends nonetheless.
I’m thankful for the fact that everyone has been so kind to me and so welcoming, even though I’m not as talented or as good at what I do as you all are. It’s always been a constant struggle for me, having to deal with a low self-esteem that I always do my best to hide, yet you accepted me, flaws and all, and it’s probably the greatest thing you could ever have done for me — being so far from home, alone and literally lonely, it’s a lifesaver, knowing there are people who legitimately care for me other than my family and all my friends across the seas back home.
I’m not used to life in this place yet. I don’t think I ever fully will be. But with you guys around, everything is a lot better, and I love you so, so much for that. Thank you.
tl;dr I love you.
PS. I want to meet every single one of you someday, and give you a hug for easily making one of the hardest transitions in my life into a wonderful year full of laughter and happiness and feelings and the wonderful feeling of being right at home just through my conversations and interactions with you.
PPS. If I’m already crying this much just from typing this up, then I’m probably going to bring about the end of the world through a great deluge when I finally get to meet you guys in person. Gomen in advance.