“Learning To Let Go: How To Fall Out Of Love (And Be Okay With It)” (take time to read it)

We are taught to love and to be generous in love. Every moment, we are taught to care, to share and to keep giving. We dare to be brave, to take leaps and chances. And if any regret is impermissible, it is the regret of not expressing love to someone we should.

But every day, as we are greeted with lists of ways to perfectly love a person, we forget that there is also room for learning how to unlove a person. We forget that we need to learn to let go and to keep in mind that not every battle is worth the fight.

We forget that sometimes, we need to let our minds win over our hearts because our hearts are often too clouded by emotions to make decisions mindfully.

To unlove a person is difficult.

I’ve had many breakup experiences sparked by someone, whom I loved, failing me. I learned to be strong and to let go, but despite the number of times that I was forced to take this step of unloving, I still have never mastered the art of it. The necessity of doing it would always catch me off guard — every single time.

To unlove someone is a struggle.

It is going against the current; it is fighting the natural flow of your emotions. It is going against everything your heart wants; it is struggling to adhere to every move you want to take.

To unlove someone is to deprive yourself.

To love another person is one of the best feelings in the world and to deprive yourself of it means taking away the opportunity to experience the joy it can bring you.

To unlove someone is to push away.

To unlove someone is to feel his lips on yours and his hand caressing yours, but to fight every muscle in your body telling you to reciprocate.

To unlove someone is to know that there is something better waiting for you.

Because, why else would you step away from the joy of loving?

To unlove someone is to love yourself.

You unlove another because you remember to love yourself. Because in those moments when you put him first and he forgot to do the same, you remember to put yourself first. You cannot love someone in place of loving yourself and you cannot love someone who will never love you back.

If that happens, it will hurt, you will have to unlove the person, learn to love yourself and then start from the beginning.

Do I really know you?

I spent 7 years of my life loving you. Grabe, ilang years nalang sana, kalahati na ng existence ko sa Earth ang aaksayahin ko sayo. Ang tagal. Napakatagal mo. Kailangan bang umabot pa ng 7 years? Bakit? Bakit mo ko hinayaan na mahalin ka ng ganung katagal? Kaya ayan, ako rin ang sumuko. Ako na ang sumuko kung kailan okay na ang lahat para sayo.

Naisip ko kasi na ang tagal tagal kitang minahal pero hindi kita kilala. Hindi ko alam kung anong mga paborito mo. Hindi ko alam kung anong pangarap mo. Hindi ko alam kung paano ka mag-isip. At lalong hindi ko alam kung ano ang mga gusto mo sa buhay. Minahal kita sa ideya na sayo ko unang naramdaman ang kilig at lahat ng first sa buhay ko. Pero hindi kita kilala. Hindi pala kita kilala.

Sino ka nga ba? Bakit ko sinayang ang 7 years ko sayo? Bakit mo ninakaw ang pitong taon sa akin? Bakit mo hinayaang hindi kita kilalanin? Bakit mo ko hinayaang sukuan lang kita ng ganun lang? Siguro nga, hindi mo din ako kilala. At wala ng pagkakataon na kilalanin ang isa’t-isa.