falling out of love

it doesn’t happen all at once
it happens slowly
like a flood
water rising cautiously
a quiet rebellion
spilling over enemy lines with a vengeance
minute by minute, you feel it
the gravitational pull on your body
moving you further and further apart
your mother says that you will
find your way back to him,
but you are not so sure
it does not happen all at once
it happens like the
continents drifting apart
a few centimeters per year
it happens so slowly
you can’t even see it
until it is too late
until the love waltzing in the ball
room of your chest goes quiet
and everyone stops dancing
he grabs your hand and asks you
to go someplace quiet
you don’t go with him
you stay silent
your heart is a still drum
he takes your pulse with his teeth
tells you he doesn’t
understand
how you could change your mind
so suddenly
it doesn’t happen all at once
remember that, even when he
tries to convince you that things
were fine the day before
tell him that the earth is moving
microscopic distances as you speak
that neither of you are in the same
place that you were
yesterday
—  falling out of love | Caitlyn Siehl

1. The pain of falling embarrassingly out of your first love will be soothed by the amnesia created by the slow ease of drifting into your second love.

2. Do not dwell on the memories of the one you lost, but focus on making even better memories with the one you have found.

3. Go on dates. Lots of them. Go to new diners where you’ll steal the ketchup off his plate with your fries. Sneak into undiscovered parks in the night to steal secret kisses.

4. Gaze into his eyes and realize he looks at you like you threw all the shooting stars into the sky just for him to find, only to wish for you to be in his arms. Realize when you look into his eyes you feel a familiar warmth, you feel at home.

5. Never compare your second love to your first. Your second love is supposed to teach you all loves are different, and each one better than the last.

6. Allow yourself to fall into his arms with trust. He will catch you. He is honest and worthy of your trust. Remember each secret and story he shares. This is him beginning to trust you as well.

7. Do not hurt him, be kind and considerate, because just like you, he has suffered the pain of losing the first love. He is also scared of being hurt again. Care for each other.

8. Remember you will both make mistakes. You will both mess up and say the wrong thing once and awhile. Don’t give up, you know you’re both too crazy about each other. Always listen and always forgive.

9. When he sleeps beside you, hold him close and listen to his heart beating only for your ears to hear. In that moment you are the only two people on Earth.

10. Open yourself up and he will do the same. Make him not only your lover, but your best friend as well. Let yourself love and be loved again as though you had never been hurt at all, while still holding on to the wisdom you gained from that past pain.

—  Steps to falling in love, after you’ve fallen out. (12/02/2013)

One day you’re going to wake up and realize you don’t feel the same way anymore. It’s like every single butterfly in you’re stomach has died and there’s no way you can resurrect it. Not another kiss or a hug or even the simple way of saying I love you. It’s just that you don’t feel it anymore. In his eyes, you search for the answer but there is none. You look for the feeling again, in his kisses, maybe somewhere beneath his words, but again there is none. Everywhere, you search and you find nothing. Emptiness. A sudden void in your heart. Even in your memories, he has never looked lesser magnificent and wonderful and breath-taking until this moment. And then it hit you. Suddenly you can un-love a person; or maybe love a person less. You don’t want to hurt his feelings because he loved you, he loves you and this is what he gets for loving you. And then you realize you’re stuck in this labyrinth with horrifying twists and turns, and even when you desperately look for a way out, there just isn’t one. And it’s suffocating. Really. 

  • It’s okay to break up with someone because the relationship feels wrong.
  • It’s okay to break up with someone if you’ve fallen out of love with them.
  • It’s okay to break up with someone if you do not like them like that anymore.
  • It’s okay to break up with someone if they’re hurting you, physically and/or emotionally.
  • It’s okay to break up with someone if they wrong you.
  • It’s okay to break up with someone if you simply do not want to be with them anymore.
  • It’s okay to break up with someone if you’ve changed your mind about them or the relationship.
  • It’s okay to break up with someone if you do not have feelings for them anymore.
  • It’s okay to break up with someone.
I think I was okay being without you today. Yet something makes me sad about the fact that I no longer wake up with the sound of your voice, that your laughter isn’t the only thing that makes me smile,that you’re no longer there for me and I’m not there for you. I’m falling out of love with you, and it may very well kill me.
—  19/5/15- I never see you anymore