I’m scared that one day, you’ll wake up and realise you’ve fallen out of love with me.
You’ll no longer feel happiness when you see me smile or love the way my lips feel as they are pressed up against yours.

And when that happens you’ll wait, you won’t tell me straight. Because, you are too kind to break my heart like that. So you’ll wait, until we drift.
Until we are as far as opposite ends of the earth.

You’ll pick an insignificant day. And ask to speak. My heart will be racing, my palms moist with anxiety. The words will roll of your tongue as if you have been rehearsing them. And in reality you have. Stood in front of the bathroom mirror muttering the words over and over until they are engraved on the tip of your tongue.

You’ll utter the words. “I can’t do this amymore.”

And all at once my world will shatter.

So yes I’m scared.

I’m scared that one day you’ll wake up and realise you’ve fallen out of love with me.
—  3:30 am thoughts

“When you fall for someone, it happens gradually, in stages. I’ve always believed the small things are so much more precious than the big things. It starts out with the smile he uses to greet you that somehow means everything. A smile you can’t erase from memory; a smile that drives you to get through the day and make it to the next. It’s the accidental bump of shoulders, a touch so fleeting and gentle that somehow sets your whole body on fire. A touch that leaves you dazed for a moment before you’re inevitably forced back down to reality. It’s how he carries himself, with such grace and humility that somehow makes him stand out in a crowd as if the angels themselves follow him around with their light. It’s how he listens to you speak, so intently, hanging on to your every word as though they matter to him more than his whole being. It’s how his laughter reaches his eyes; how you long to hear that sound again and again and again as though it’s your favorite song playing on the radio. It’s how he looks at you when he thinks you’re not paying attention to him: like a mystery he’s yearning to solve. It’s how closely you pay attention to him: the sun highlighting his features as he taps his fingers on the steering wheel, the clench of his jaw as he looks toward the window, the way he occasionally glances toward the rearview mirror to shoot you that breathtaking smile. It all comes full circle. It all comes back to that smile, to that first hello. And in that smile you see a thousand possibilities, each more wonderful and exhilarating than the next. And suddenly it makes sense to you: why they call it ‘falling in love.’ Because it’s free-falling through space and time with no sense of direction – it’s your heartbeat mixing in time with the gushing of the wind in your ears as you race toward the ground with no way of knowing whether you’ll survive. And when you go home that night he’s everywhere, a secret you notice you can’t even hide from yourself. And that’s when you realize: I love him. I love him. I love him.” 

—Free Falling (S.M.)