falcon slap

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Requested By Anon


Clint has created a chatroom.

Clint has invited Natasha.

Clint: Hi.

Clint: Natasha.

Clint: Hello.

Clint: It’s me.

Clint: Your favorite Archer.

Clint: Naaaaat.

Clint: NAT NAT NAT NAT NAT NAT NAT NAT NAT NAT NAT NAT NAT!

Clint: Say that really fast and it’s just nanananananananananananana.

Clint: reply pls.

Clint: pls.

Clint: tasha

Natasha: CLINT. WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A MISSION! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

Clint: Okay so you weren’t ignoring me?

Natasha: No…

Natasha: You’re supposed to be covering Wanda, not chatting!

Clint: I am! Plus Vision is not letting her leave his sight….  OR SHOULD I SAY NOT LEAVE HIS LINE OF VISION! BA DUM TSSSS!

Natasha: I’m blocking you.

Clint: No wait!

Clint: I have a question.

Tony has joined the chat.

Tony: Clint why are you using your phone?! Use the optical head-mounted display I designed for when we’re on missions.

Clint: … the what

Bruce has joined the chat.

Bruce: It’s like Tony’s helmet. You’d be able to see the chat and reply by speaking.

Natasha: Always ready to answer questions…

Clint: … why didn’t anyone tell me about this?

Natasha: I thought you knew about it.

Steve has joined the chat.

Steve: ARE YOU PEOPLE SERIOUSLY CHATTING RIGHT NOW?! WE’RE BEING SHOT AT!

Steve: I don’t see why we can’t use our comms instead of this, Tony.

Tony: EMOJI SUPPORT. 🖕 (middle finger emoji)

Steve: 🖕 (middle finger emoji again)

Tony: 🖕 (and again)

Steve: 🖕 (once more)

Bruce: I’m shocked, Steve.

Natasha: Gasp! I always thought our precious Steve was a saint!

Wanda has joined the chat.

Wanda: Why is Clint sitting in a corner texting? I don’t think that’s very safe.

Clint: If only someone told me about the new invention I wouldn’t be. If only. Back to my question.

Natasha: Shoot.

Clint: WHEN DID WE RECRUIT THE AVATAR? She took out not one, not two, BUT 10 GUYS BY JUST EARTH BENDING OR WHATEVER. She’s got this. We don’t even need to be on this mission.

Wanda: That’s Y/N. She’s probably my favorite Avenger now.

Steve: I thought I was your favorite…

Wanda: Besides Steve.

Tony: And…?

Wanda: And Tony.

Natasha: :(

Wanda: Okay, you’re all my favorite!

Clint: She makes Thor, the mighty Thor, look weak.

Thor has joined the chat.

Thor: TAKE THY VILE WORDS BACK BEFORE I SMITE YOU!

Tony:

Natasha:

Wanda:

Steve: dot dot dot

Steve: How did you guys do that?!

Bruce: LOL shame.

Clint: I’m sorry but… I… You’re mighty, Thor. Very mighty.

Thor: I am just jesting! Yes, Lady Y/N is quite powerful indeed.

Steve: She’s been a member of the team for… 3 weeks now?

Natasha: Yeah, I’m honestly very surprised that you didn’t know, Clint.

Clint: DID YOU SEE THAT?

Clint: SHE JUST SLAPPED THAT GUY UNCONSCIOUS WITH WATER

Clint: WATER.

Bruce: Only Clint would describe that as being slapped with water.

Sam has joined the chat.

Sam: Steve ON YOUR LEFT!

Steve: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT DROPPING BAD GUYS NEXT TO ME LIKE THAT?!

Sam: Revenge is mine.

Bucky has joined the chat.

Bucky: Steve tell Sam to stop saying “Falcon Punch!” every time he punches someone.

Sam: I’m not.

Sam: FALCON PUNCH!

Bucky: The proof is there, Steve. PROOF.

Sam: I DIDN’T SAY IT!

Sam: FALCON KICK!

Bucky: Oh my god.

Y/N has joined the chat.

Y/N: Why does Sam keep shouting that?

Sam: I’m not!

Y/N: Sam honey, you do realize the chat is voice controlled? Whatever you say will show here.

Clint: Water. Earth. Fire. Air.

Bucky: How is he an Avenger?

Sam: FALCON SLAP!

Bucky: HE SLAPPED MY ARM!

Steve: Concentrate on the mission!

Tony: We should have left them at home.

Sam: FALCON SLAP!

Bucky: STOP IT!

Sam: FALCON SLAP!

Bucky: I’M WARNING YOU

Sam: FALCON SLAP!

Clint: Long ago, Bucky and Sam lived together in harmony.  Then everything changed when the Falcon Nation attacked.

Bucky: BUCKY SLAP!

Sam: STEVE HE HIT ME ON MY ARM!

Bucky: ONLY BECAUSE HE HIT ME FIRST!

Steve: Sam stop hitting Bucky! Bucky, don’t hit Sam!

Wanda: … And we call Peter a kid…

Sam: I didn’t do anything!

Bucky: The proof is right there!

Sam: FALCON SLAP!

Sam: NO IT’S NOT!

Bucky: BUCKY SLAP!

Y/N has been disconnected.

Clint: Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop Sam.  But when Bucky needed her most, she vanished.

Bruce: Is Y/N okay?

Tony: It’s time the other guy made an appearance. Y/N needs help near the warehouse.

Bruce has left the chat.

Sam: FALCON SLAP!

Bucky: BUCKY SLAP!

Sam: Stop copying me.

Steve: You two are grounded.

Steve: No more missions for the next 2 months.

Tony: Why can’t they be like Peter? He’s so well behaved.

Y/N has joined the chat.

Y/N: I’M REALLY GLAD THE HULK HELPED ME TAKE ON THE REMAINING HYDRA AGENTS BUT

Y/N: HE’S REALLY SCARY

Y/N: AWESOME BUT SCARY

Clint: Three weeks passed and I discovered the new recruit, an airbender named Y/N, and although her airbending skills are great, she still has a lot to learn before she’s ready to save Bucky.

Sam: FALCON SLAP!

Wanda: I take it the mission is over? Since we’ve defeated everyone. Well, Sam still has to defeat Bucky.

Bucky: BUCKY SLAP!

Natasha: Why can’t we have normal missions anymore?

Tony: What fun would that be? They’re literally just swatting each others hands. No actual slaps. It looks like a fight between two kids.

Y/N: Nope, kids can fight better than that.

Tony: True.

Tony has left the chat.

Steve: Nat, get Bruce and we’ll regroup at the jet.

Natasha has left the chat.

Sam: FALCON SLAP!

Steve: Y/N, get Bucky. I’ll get Sam.

Thor: Is Lady Y/N going to float Sir Barnes in the air while Sir Rogers carries Sir Wilson away like a mother would carry their child?

Y/N: Yes.

Steve: Yes.

Thor: I would like to witness this.

Thor has left the chat.

Steve has left the chat.

Y/N has left the chat.

Sam has left the chat.

Bucky has left the chat.

Clint: But I believe Y/N can save Bucky.

Wanda: Clint Vision says stop being weird.

Clint: Tell Vision he’s grounded with Bucky and Sam.

Wanda: He says sorry.

Wanda has left the chat.

Wade has joined the chat.

Wade: Hi there.

Clint: Hello, Wade.

Wade: How embarrassing. He thinks I’m talking to him.

Clint: We’re the only ones in the chat!

Wade: I just want to let you know that the Author will be on hiatus for a short while.

Wade: But once she’s back, there shall be the DC/Marvel crossover AND the new recruits chat.

Wade: Which I’ll be in both, of course.

Clint: What crossover?

Wade: So stay tuned for that!

Wade: Do you think Clint would get along with the Green Arrow?

Wade: Hahahahaha probably not.

Clint: Who?

Wade: I’m looking forward to seeing Clark.

Clint: Who?

Wade: What about you? Maybe batsy?

Clint: Who?

Wade: I know some of you are looking forward to uh

Wade: Barney Alan.

Wade: Berry Alien.

Wade: Betty Aladdin.

Wade: Whatever, he’s fast okay.

Clint: WHO?

Wade: Are you an owl now, Clint? Don’t be rude. Can’t you see I’m having a conversation over here!

Clint has left the chat.

Wade: Remember short hiatus. Till then, beautiful reader!

Wade has left the chat.