fakes online

my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

People really need to be more fucking careful of what they say. Especially online. The internet is not the place to express your “opinions”, there are so many impressionable kids out there. Your Snapchat story is not the place to share your thoughts on bi people, your instagram is not the place to comment about how there’s “only two genders!!1!” And don’t even get me started on fucking tumblr. It can be a great place to meet people who share your experiences, but no newly questioning 13 year old should have to come across “aces aren’t valid” when all they want is a label to hold onto.

percyyoulittleshit  asked:

When it's real- Percy and Annabeth

i see you. i know what you want. i Know

the fake dating au sequel summary: Percy can’t keep doing this anymore. (it’s in the works. i promise.)

When It’s Real

When Annabeth first signed up to play the online game Olympus, she had no idea she would rise to be one of the top heroes in the game — sixth, and one of the only two girls in the Top Ten. But a new update rolls around: the option for online “marriage,” allowing two players to level up together, get ranked on a new “couples” list, complete challenges, and share a new experience. 

Annabeth has zero interest in marrying anyone, even in a game. But rumors begin to circulate — Kr0nos, #1 in the game and better known to Annabeth as old ex-friend Luke in real life, is planning to marry her. With no intention of doing so, Annabeth searches for a solution and finds it in the mysterious Riptide18, another high-ranked player who’s looking to bring Luke down a few pegs (and ranks). 

Online or offline, marriage isn’t easy. Marriage can bring two people together in the best and worst of ways, and Annabeth and her new “husband,” Percy, are about to find that out.

send me a fake fic title + fandom or character/ship, and i’ll write you a summary!

fake news online: *exists*

people: “wow can’t believe Hillary Clinton is a devil worshipper and every celebrity is dead”

The New York Times, BBC, etc: *report accurately on Donald Trump*

same people: “fake news!!!! lying liberal media!”

Donald Trump & co.: blatantly lie, call the lies “alternative facts”

same people: “Donald Trump is telling the truth and all journalists are lying.”

scientists: *present evidence-based data, cite their sources*

same people: “fake!!! lies!!! climate change is a conspiracy theory!”

THE BEST MAKE UP OF ALL TIME

Here’s a list of my favorite make up products by category! These are all tried and true after years of experimentation 💋

FACE
- Moisturizer: Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion. Get the gel instead of the lotion if you have oily skin

- Primer: Nivea Sensitive Post Shave Balm for Men. Don’t question, just try it

- Foundation: Too Faced Born This Way or Lancôme Teint Idole Ultra 24Hr. Honestly can’t choose between them. Apply both with a damp beauty blender

- Concealer: Tarte Shape Tape. If you’re on a budget, Maybelliene Fit Me is actually worth while

- Cream contour: Clinique Chubby Sticks. Blend out beautifully

- Powder (extra coverage): MAC’s Mineralized Skin Finish Natural

- Powder (no coverage/for baking): Laura Mercier’s Translucent Setting Powder. NOT the secret brightener be careful

- Bronzer: Buxom’s Hot Escapes Bronzers if you want shimmer and Benefit’s Hoola if you don’t

- Contour: NARS Contour Duos. Color to get depends on your skin tone!

- Blush: NARS Blushes cannot be beat. Orgasm is an all time classic and looks amazing on everyone. I also LOVE the Lorac Unzipped Cheek Palette but it’s gone so you’d have to find it on eBay or something

- Highlight: Best highlight of all time is Becca Cosmetics x Jaclyn Hill Champagne Pop

- Setting Spray: Urban Decay All Nighter

EYES
- Eyeshadow primer: Urban Decay Primer Potion

- Eyeshadow: best brand for eyeshadow IMO is Anastasia Beverly Hills or Lorac. Great first palette is the Lorac pro

- Eyeliner: Stila Liquid Eyeliner NO DEBATE THE END

- Mascara: Maybelliene Clump Crusher (get water resistant to hold your curl)

- Eyelash curler: best eyelash curler of all time is from Shu Uemura which they stopped selling at Sephora but you can order it online

- Fake eyelashes: Absolutely love the Kiss brand’s Blooming line because they’re multilayered and have such a thin band and so many different styles

EYEBROWS
- Filling in: Anastasia Brow Wiz no debate

- Setting: Anastasia Brow Gel and if you’re really gonna rub them off, NYX waterproofing gel on top of that

- Maintenance: Tweezerman. Spend the money. No other tweezers are worth your time

LIPS
- Balm: only chapstick I truly believe works (and doesn’t make them worse in the long run) is Burts Bees

- Lipliner: Urban Decay 24/7 Glide On

- Lipstick: Too Faced’s La Crème line and Melted line

- Lipgloss: BUXOM!!!!! They are so unreal amazing perfect everything I’ve ever wanted. Also love the Urban Decay Naked glosses

Hope this helps anyone who’s looking for some new bomb ass make up products that won’t waste your time or your $$$!

fake fans are attention-hogging and careless swifties that are exclusively active solely when Taylor is online. they dump the idea of her when she isn’t “in” at the moment, or popular at the time, dissing and hurting her through social media and in real life to other people. they don’t truly care about others; they put themselves over all, and they do whatever they can to sell out the fandom/just get the big numbers (likes, reblogs, follows, etc.) online.

what fake fans are not are the swifties that don’t bring in enough income to buy all of Taylor’s merchandise, tickets for concerts, or albums. they are the people who, when online, really engage in the fandom for their own happiness, not to get likes or reblogs or as many followers as possible at once. they are the people who, when in real life, respect others and their opinions, even if they’re not all swifties as well. they care about taylor and other swifties, as well as their loved ones, and they’re kind to people no matter what.

just because you can’t afford to see Taylor live, buy her merchandise, or even purchase a copy of an album, that doesn’t make you a fake fan. if you’re true at heart and spread kindness, you are a swiftie.

2

Pennsylvania teen helps her boyfriend kill her mother so they can be together

Jamie Silvonek was just 14 years old when she conspired with her boyfriend, Caleb Barnes, 20, to kill her mother. Jamie and Caleb got together in October, 2014. Jamie lied to Caleb about her age saying she was 18 years old. Jamie lived in Allentown, Pennsylvania and Caleb was a cadet in the army stationed 2 hours away from her. When Jamie admitted to Caleb that she lied about her age the couple did everything they could to keep their relationship a secret. Jamie’s mother, Cheryl, found the couple in bed together one day and she threw Caleb out. She told him she would press charges against him for having sex with a minor. 

With Caleb being in the army he could face serious consequences if Jamie’s mother followed through with her threat to press charges. Jamie tried to convince her mother that Caleb was only 16 years old, and he even got a fake birth certificate online to try and prove it to her. On March 14th, 2015, Cheryl allowed Jamie to go to a concert with Caleb, but with the condition that she drive them and pick them up. The couple agreed. Cheryl went to pick the couple up and she disappeared. Her SUV was found in a pond with blood in it, and her body was found in a shallow grave near the pond. Cheryl was strangled, beaten, and stabbed to death.

When police went to Jamie’s home to arrest the couple they found them in bed. Jamie changed her story about what happened several times. She even tried to tell police that Caleb raped her. Police believed Caleb when he said that the two killed Cheryl so they could be together.

Jamie was sentenced to 35 years in prison as part of a plea agreement. Caleb was sentenced to life in prison plus 22-44 years. 

Dangan Ronpa April Fools Day Headcannons

(I have no idea if April Fools Day is actually a thing in Japan, but whatevs! Also it’s not April 1st here yet, but I’m already seeing pranks going around so I figure it’s fair game to put it up now. In order of who I thought of first.)

Kiyotaka Ishimaru

  • Spends the week leading up to the day telling everyone in the school that April Fools Day pranks will not be tolerated, especially those of a physical nature that cause damage or pain!
  • Becomes the main target for most of the nasty pranks as a results, tries to put on a brave face and says he’s glad it’s him and not one of his friends, but he still spends the day getting gradually more and more hurt and upset by the pranks directed at him.
  • Keeps having to change his uniform because they’re getting stained. Eventually all ten get damaged and he spends part of the evening doing laundry in his underwear and a towel just so he has something to wear.

Sayaka Maizono

  • Before the day even starts there’s fake screen shots of a new album from her band going around, talk of amazing sounding press appearances, basically fake news that her fans are getting really excited for
  • She doesn’t do any pranks herself, just spends the day apologetically denying all the fake rumours to her fans, and gets upset that she has to make them upset that she isn’t able/planning to do any of those things they were all really excited about.

Leon Kuwata

  • Starts the day thinking all the crazy pranks and fake online news that only gullible dumbasses would fall for are hilarious… until he sees how genuinely upset Sayaka is, at which point he goes online and start angrily lambasting everyone sharing the fake news about her band.
  • Still thinks physical pranks are funny though, and sets up several of the classic ones- buckets of water/jello/soft balls perched on doors, thumbtacks on chairs, some tripwires areas with softer flooring, etc. This is much to the annoyance of…

Mondo Oowada

  • Doesn’t really care about the day. He thinks people making their friends look stupid is bullshit, but realises it’s just tradition and they don’t mean anything by it. He’s spent the last week making it clear that anyone dumb enough to make him look like a fool is getting a beat down in return though, so no one tries anything that might hit him.
  • Ends up spending the day getting increasingly angry at how Kiyotaka is being treated, which ends up with him slamming Leon into a wall when one of his buckets of jello just happens to ruin Kiyotaka’s final clean uniform. It takes a combined effort from Kiyotaka, Chihiro and Makoto to stop him from punching Leon.

Aoi Asahina

  • Likes the idea of silly pranks, but wouldn’t dream of actually hurting anyone. Most of her pranks are food based, such as switching the sugar with salt, and offering people gross foods disguised as candy (caramel onions, chocolate-coated boiled sprouts, Mayonnaise filled donuts)
  • Feels bad for tricking them regardless, and offers them real candy/donuts to make up for it once they’ve fallen for it.

Sakura Oogami

  • Doesn’t really get involved in the day. It’s not something she’s familiar with, and it seems foolish to her.
  • No one dares target her either, aside from Asahina, so she doesn’t suffer at all. Even when Asahina targets her, she doesn’t realise it’s a prank and just tries to give her cooking tips until Hina confesses that it was supposed to be a joke.

Hifumi Yamada

  • Gets stupendously excited about the news of a new season of Demon Angel * Pretty Pudgy Princess, until he discovers that it’s fake and is crushed. But then he decides to get in on the fun and writes a post declaring that from this day on he’s quitting fan art and only drawing photo-realistic pictures of snakes. Spends the rest of the day bathing in the outcry from his disappointed fans before admitting that he made it up for April Fools.
  • Because of this, he spends most of the day at the computer and doesn’t get hit by many pranks, except for the ones set up by…

Chihiro Fujisaki

  • Knows not to trust anything online today, unless there are multiple sources for it. Doesn’t get hit by many pranks in real life, because A) No ones that much of an asshole to target tiny little Fujisaki and B) They figure Mondo would kill them if they did.
  • Plays a few computer based pranks: Troll-face stickers stuck on the underside of the mice in the computer labs (So they don’t work), sets the home page on every browser to Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up, gets Alter-Ego to imitate various people and insist that they’ve been trapped in the computer. Stupid stuff that even Kiyotaka manages to laugh at.

Celestia Ludenberg

  • She thinks the whole thing is petty, but she’s bet several of the tougher students that she can scare the life out of them at some point during the day, so she sets up various jump-scare type pranks, with help from coerced victims  volunteers. Stuff like cardboard cutouts of insects placed inside lamp shades, creepy manequins floating around in quiet classrooms, students in scary costumes jumping out unexpectedly. 
  • She wins all her bets, and spends the day making sure she doesn’t go anywhere/try anything she hasn’t just watched someone else go/try first, making her immune to most other pranks.

Makoto Naegi

  • Tries to do a few of the sillier classic pranks, but his bad luck means he ends up victim of the prank he was just attempting to play. 
  • Examples: Tries to swap salt and sugar, but fails to notice Hina’s already done it, so it’s just himself with salt in his morning coffee. Goes to set up a bucket of plastic balls over the homeroom classroom door and gets hit by Leon’s first bucket of water instead.
  • In the end he just gives up and decides to help…

Kyoko Kirigiri

  • She’s not interested in pulling pranks (Except the odd bit of teasing aimed at Makoto), and she manages to spot most of them before they hit her, especially as she’s being extra cautious today.
  • She’s still a detective though, and spends most of the day with Makoto collecting evidence to determine who set up most of them, which she then passes to Kiyotaka at the end of the day.

Yasuhiro Hagakure

  • Decides he’s going to prank everyone by just spouting nonsense instead of giving real predictions. Ironically his nonsense is 100% accurate, and he spends the next few weeks trying to replicate the effect, but without any luck.
  • Previously tried to predict what pranks were going to get played on him, so he dodges a few things, but still gets hit by a ton of stuff. (He’s also the only person other than Makoto with salt in his morning drink)

Byakuya Togami 

  • Doesn’t set up any pranks, obviously he’s far too refined for that petty nonsense! He has approved a few false news articles about ‘upcoming’ physically impossible/ridiculous Togami brand products, because apparently that sort of thing results in good viral marketing (he’s consulted Fujisaki on this though, and vetoed a coupld of ideas on the programmer’s advice)
  • Does get hit by a few of the practical jokes as well, but the jokes of them once Kirigiri gives him evidence he needs to send them the dry-cleaning bill for his fancy suits… Assuming they’ve not already had the life scared out of them by…

Toko Fukawa/Genocider Syo

  • Toko tries to spend the day hiding in her room, but gets dragged out by Kiyotaka who insists she still has to go to class and that his warnings will have prevented any wronging today.
  • About ten minutes after that she’s hit with a burst of black pepper from some pranks, making her sneeze and spend several hours as Genocider, whose idea of a good April Fools Day prank is to jump out at people screaming “You’re so fucking cute I’m gonna kill ya!” and then, once they’ve wet themselves, burst out laughing and tell them not to worry, they’re too ugly for her to kill.

Mukuro Ikusaba

  • At Junko’s suggestion, dresses up as and acts like her sister. The pair pretend Junko’s been cloned until everyone’s seen through it and Junko gets bored of the prank.
  • Spends the rest of the day being incredibly cautious not to get hit by pranks, because she doesn’t dare ruin the clothes or wig Junko lent her. Her soldier training makes her successful at this.

Junko Enoshima

  • Once she’s done pretending to be a clone, starts pulling off really crazy pranks, like breaking into the boys lockers while they’re in gym and replacing their trousers with skirts, hacking the school announcent system and having Monokuma do a broadcast, fills the headmaster’s office with balloons and finally spends the evening finding people who have fallen asleep and painting their faces with crazy makeup, then taking pictures.
  • Despite the craziness of her pranks, she’s the only one Kyoko can’t find any evidence against, so she gets off scot-free.