fake-man

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Via archivist Alan Scherstuhl - a Voice piece from 1986 about the “Favorite Dinosaurs of the Mets.” The humor here is surrealist and very ahead of its time. It’s almost modern. 

For some reason, the Mets always have weird controversies involving dinosaurs, like outfielder/crank Carl Everett, who said dinosaur bones were man-made fakes. He was not a part of the team at the time at the time of this article. 

like it’s valid to discuss “fake bi girls” basically only in the context of media. as a bi girl, i am Sick And Tired of the “quirky bi girl” who has an ex-girlfriend for the sake of the male gaze and who never mentions her sexuality other than as an oddly fetishized off-color comment. these girls almost always have dyed hair and an Attitude and usually fall for the main boy. and i get being pissed off that so much of our representation is basically “bi is a quirky trait not a matter of personal identity,” i get complaining that so many of us in media end up with boys, that it does seem through media’s lens that we’re sort of… not queer. we’re usually playful, sexually devious but willing to Settle For the Right Man, usually … fake bi. because 9 out of 10 times, they’re not written by bi girls, and as a result they’re… really dishonest to our actual experience.

all of this still does not mean that you can get mad at a real life bi girl for choosing a man as a partner. sorry bud.

So my mom’s calling me at midnight becuase we’re both nocturnal and she’s worried about the state of my health, and has relayed A Most Amusing Image.

My neighbor (Not the Tall Man) has acquired a roomba.

This, in and of itself is not such an issue but she is in possession of two Moderately Insane Dogs and a Definitely Mad Husband. 

The dogs are, in order of importance, Sampson, a large German Shepherd that came from a police dog litter but was adopted out due to budget cuts.  He’s still 90lbs of Intense Dog, and Very Protective of his house and family.  In his mind, the robot is clearly up to something, and must be supervised very closely whenever it’s out cleaning the carpets.

The second dog is Ella, the kindest, gentlest elderly golden retriver you will ever meet, who has decided that the Roomba is her New Puppy, along with Sampson, who is her Older Puppy.  the fact that her children aren’t getting along is very distressing to her, so she has to follow Sampson around and chide him every time he growls at the roomba, bopping him on the head to force him into a play-bow in the hopes that the two children will wrestle and be friends like good puppies.

This is upsetting to both dogs and also to Husband, who is a gentle being who can’t stand any conflict, so he’s taken lately to try and train the dogs to ignore the Roomba, only instead of doing the sensible thing and say, bribing them with food to sit and watch the robot, he decided for some reason that he ought to try to play with Sampson instead, crawling around on the floor after him, barking and play-bowing.

So my neighbor comes home from grocery shopping, to find her Husband crawling around on the floor, slowly going hoarse for fake-barking, two dogs kicking each other furiously and knocking everything over- including houseplants and a coffee table, all around a tiny robot, Oblivious to the chaos.

Neighbor has since decided on the sensible course of only running the roomba when Husband is away and the dogs are safely ensconced in the basement, but given that this is the man that faked a PR junket for Obama for funsies and  made “Carp In A Blender” for our housewarming dinner this is probably far from the end of the Roomba’s adventures.

Favourite things in Spider-man: Homecoming

- Peter Parker is an absolute Cinnamon roll
- Peter actually looking like a teenager
- protective dad Tony!
- “patience” god poor Cap hahaha
- the spider-man theme playing over the marvel title
- Peter just wanting to save everyone and be accepted by Tony #myheart
- he’s scared of heights
- the whole cam recording at the beginning! Why is Peter so adorable jeez
- happy hogan I have missed you
- Ned is so pure
- Flash not being the typical bully
- the gym video with Cap and the teacher is just like “I think he’s a war criminal now”
- the fact that we get to see how normal people view the avengers
- even in a school setting. Like how the girls talk about the hottest avenger and in class they are being taught the accords etc
- Pepper and Tony are engaged!!!!!!!
- Peter so badly wanting to be an avenger and in the end turning the offer down
- Karen is the most adorable AI
- Michael Keaton actually being a pretty decent bad guy
- the scene where Peter gets crushed. Tom is an impeccable actor!
- “what the fu-” god I love Aunt May hahaha
- All the girls are amazing!
- Michelle’s initials being MJ
- Peter trying to be intimidating “I’m not a boy! I’m a man!” In his fake deep voice

Cheap Thrills (reader x Bucky Oneshot)

Characters: reader, Natasha, Sam, Clint, Tony, Bucky, OC Mark. 

Summary: A bet within the Avengers becomes a battle of the sexes, with you at the center of it. Who will be victorious and could it somehow help you snag the man of your dreams? 

Song Inspiration: Cheap Thrills by Sia

Warnings: drinking, sexist behavior? Mild violence mentioned, very subtle mention of sexy times. 

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: This was supposed to be a short one, but eh. I’ve been living in the land of heavy angst with You are My Heaven and intense stress in my real life so when this fun, fluffy idea popped up, I ran with it. I’m working on a lot of other stuff so be patient, please! As always, I appreciate your feedback. Love each and every one of you!! 

Masterlist

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Originally posted by luvinchris

“Uh uh. No way.”

“It’s true, trust me.”

“You wanna bet?” Clint challenged the redhead across the table from him.

Natasha leaned forward and held his gaze, not an ounce of doubt in her demeanor. “Absolutely.”

It was too early in the morning for this childish banter, you thought from your seated position at the far end of the long kitchen table. You slumped forward, dipping the tea bag in and out of the steaming mug of liquid before you, then setting it on the small saucer beside it. Wrapping your hands around the cup’s warmth, your eyes unfocused as you continued to tune out the blathering of your teammates. The only other person in the room paying them no mind was Bucky, who was slouched in a cozy chair, thoroughly engrossed in a book.

“Now wait a minute,” a third voice joined the argument, “If we’re gonna do this, we gotta level the playing field a little. Nat could do this in her sleep. We need someone a little more…down to earth. How about Y/N?” Sam gestured toward you.

Blinking a few times, you finally broke out of your stupor. “Hey! I was only half listening to your stupidity, but I think I’m offended.”

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A couple of thoughts/theories from Rick and Morty S03E01

ok, so i noticed some things from the episode that made me connect some things

  1.  in the scene when morty takes summer to the cronnenberged dimension and some rick guards appear, morty tries to defend himself saying he’s Morty C-137

and the guard ricks just gave each other The Look

The Look says they know something, like something doesn’t fit with what morty says, something’s off… so, maybe the memory of rick’s wife and daughter dying isn’t totally fabricated, and the rick we know and love is indeed form dimension C-137, but “his” morty isn’t, bc there is no morty from that dimension to begin with.

2. The second thing that i want to discuss is this part 

bc well, he says a lot of emotionless and crude stuff, like that the real reason why he rescued morty and summer was to be accepted in the house by beth, and that his arc isn’t about getting over his dead family bc it was fake… but man… how do u explain this

like… i think he actually cares about his family, but maybe there’s a reason why he want morty to think he is a bad person, so when he finds out he’s not his original rick he won’t be as devastated as if he thought rick was a nice person

It’s time for the angsty haunted house idea no one asked for

  • Neil’s second Halloween at PSU the Foxes go to a haunted house
  • Neil is sure it is going to be boring and super lame and fake
  • But the whole team wants to go and has their whole Halloween obsession so he says nothing against the plan
  • Neil never really got Halloween anyways because a bunch of lame costumes and decorations have never been scary to Neil who grew up with every day being horrifying
  • Plus, he was told from a really young age that he was too old for the immature holiday, so he is still surprised that the others are so into it
  • So, they go to a haunted house and they go through a bunch of rooms that Neil thinks are laughable
  • This is really supposed to scare him?
  • He is not afraid of werewolves or vampires or witches or clowns or things that jump out of fake graves
  • Except then they get to a room covered in fake blood and fake limbs with a man in a doctor’s outfit covered in fake blood the wrong shade of red and he is laughing hysterically while holding an axe that is somehow mysteriously blood free
  • And instead of shrugging it off as super fake and pointing out all the things wrong with the display, Neil freezes and goes rigid in the doorway
  • Later he will find this strange and wonder why something so obviously fake impacted him so much, but at the moment his brain is hardly functioning
  • It feels like all the air has left the room as the room of fake horror triggers memories of real horror for Neil
  • He needs something to hold onto but his foggy mind is just barely aware enough to not grab onto Andrew without permission, so he reaches out with his right hand instead and grabs onto Kevin’s hand
  • Allison turns like she is going to comment on the hand-holding, but stops with her mouth open when she sees their faces and body language

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