fake-man

FF Mad Scientist AU - Chapter 4

@joji-beats i could not do this without you thank you so much. this chapter focuses on kohe and fake. hope you enjoy~


The TV behind Fake turned on, startling him from the window. He turns around and it’s just static, so he walks up to the TV and turns it off, then returns to the window. As soon as he turns back around the TV turns back on and a horrifying screeching noise fills the room, piercing his eardrums. He spins around to the source and sees a form coming out of the screen! It scares him for a moment before he stops and rolls his eyes. 

“Kohe, knock it off! Can’t you see I’m busy?”

The transparent form pauses entirely and then floats the rest of the way out of the television. The ghostly Kohe hovers above the ground, crossing his arms. “Nan de?” He floats over to him, lazing about in the air. “What are you doing anyways? I’m bored.”

Fake glares at Kohe and is silent, judging the ghost’s neutral expression. “If you have to know, I’m trying to see what the fuck Frank is up to. I can’t see shit though!” He looks again through the blinds and then closes them for the moment. “Wanna go somewhere with me?”

Kohe raises an eyebrow. It wasn’t often that he was presented with the opportunity to do something, and he had been exceptionally bored. Safari Man was always gone, Frank had been holed up, Sal was suspiciously hanging around out of the apartment, Pink Guy was busy with his music… Being brought back from death had been more boring than he had expected. Fake was the only one who was here and would talk with him. 

“Where?”

“Wal-Mart! I need some spy stuff, and you can help me. Being a ghost is good for spying,” he propositions. Not that Fake would ever admit it, but he liked hanging around Kohe and enjoyed his company. When Kohe continues to be quiet, he lets out a sigh. “I’ll buy you some pokemon cards,” he suggests hopefully. 

“Ii daro,” Kohe replies loftily. “And I get to pick the music.” He flits out towards the front door with no regard for Fake, who just sighs and follows behind him out to the car he wasn’t allowed to be driving. 

A song from Kohe’s favorite album was playing loudly, and Fake didn’t mind. The ghost had few things in his afterlife that he still enjoyed, so he could have this. “I don’t trust Frank,” he told Kohe as he started to drive. “Ever since he worked with Chin-Chin to bring you back and sorta fucked you like this, he’s been acting real strange.” 

When Kohe died, Frank made what he deemed to be the necessary sacrifices to bring him back. Unfortunately because Chin-Chin was a complete jerk, he brought Kohe back more as Ghohe, an 80/20 ghost/human mixture of a being now permanently stuck in this dimension. Of course, Kohe had nothing to add to what he said about Frank. 

“So we’re gonna get some spy shit and some rat food and we’re gonna fuck shit up, okay Ghohe?” Fake suggested, glancing over at the translucent form bopping his head to Reganomics by Lemon Demon. 

Kohe’s lips perked up in a slight smile at the nickname Fake had given him. “Hai, nyako,” he responded in his usual soft tone of voice. Fake understood little to no Japanese and at this point  mostly gave up trying to convince Kohe not to use it, since that wasn’t really fair. However, the inflection of his voice made it seem affirmative, so he rolled with it. 

As the man and the ghost drove off in the dead of night to Wal-Mart, Frank and PInk Guy remained at the warehouse into the wee hours of the morning. Frank was still preparing this chemistry/alchemy shit that he didn’t entirely understand, and Pink Guy was still kind of coping with seeing Safari Man dead for the first time by working on his giant speaker in the other room. 

“I’m gonna bring ya back, Saf,” Frank promised to the corpse on the table. He refused to think about why he cared so much or why he couldn’t let go. This was just what he was doing and no one needed to fucking worry about why. Who wouldn’t want one of their friends back after all? 

This was fine. This was fucking fine. 

“It’s FINE!” he shouted into the nothingness surrounding him. He growls under his breath and returns to his whiteboard, scribbling down more confusing formulae and getting lost in his mission. 


nan de? - why?

ii daro - it’s a deal

hai, nyako - okay i understand, kitty cat.

3

Via archivist Alan Scherstuhl - a Voice piece from 1986 about the “Favorite Dinosaurs of the Mets.” The humor here is surrealist and very ahead of its time. It’s almost modern. 

For some reason, the Mets always have weird controversies involving dinosaurs, like outfielder/crank Carl Everett, who said dinosaur bones were man-made fakes. He was not a part of the team at the time at the time of this article. 

Cheap Thrills (reader x Bucky Oneshot)

Characters: reader, Natasha, Sam, Clint, Tony, Bucky, OC Mark. 

Summary: A bet within the Avengers becomes a battle of the sexes, with you at the center of it. Who will be victorious and could it somehow help you snag the man of your dreams? 

Song Inspiration: Cheap Thrills by Sia

Warnings: drinking, sexist behavior? Mild violence mentioned, very subtle mention of sexy times. 

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: This was supposed to be a short one, but eh. I’ve been living in the land of heavy angst with You are My Heaven and intense stress in my real life so when this fun, fluffy idea popped up, I ran with it. I’m working on a lot of other stuff so be patient, please! As always, I appreciate your feedback. Love each and every one of you!! 

Masterlist

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Originally posted by luvinchris

“Uh uh. No way.”

“It’s true, trust me.”

“You wanna bet?” Clint challenged the redhead across the table from him.

Natasha leaned forward and held his gaze, not an ounce of doubt in her demeanor. “Absolutely.”

It was too early in the morning for this childish banter, you thought from your seated position at the far end of the long kitchen table. You slumped forward, dipping the tea bag in and out of the steaming mug of liquid before you, then setting it on the small saucer beside it. Wrapping your hands around the cup’s warmth, your eyes unfocused as you continued to tune out the blathering of your teammates. The only other person in the room paying them no mind was Bucky, who was slouched in a cozy chair, thoroughly engrossed in a book.

“Now wait a minute,” a third voice joined the argument, “If we’re gonna do this, we gotta level the playing field a little. Nat could do this in her sleep. We need someone a little more…down to earth. How about Y/N?” Sam gestured toward you.

Blinking a few times, you finally broke out of your stupor. “Hey! I was only half listening to your stupidity, but I think I’m offended.”

Keep reading

A couple of thoughts/theories from Rick and Morty S03E01

ok, so i noticed some things from the episode that made me connect some things

  1.  in the scene when morty takes summer to the cronnenberged dimension and some rick guards appear, morty tries to defend himself saying he’s Morty C-137

and the guard ricks just gave each other The Look

The Look says they know something, like something doesn’t fit with what morty says, something’s off… so, maybe the memory of rick’s wife and daughter dying isn’t totally fabricated, and the rick we know and love is indeed form dimension C-137, but “his” morty isn’t, bc there is no morty from that dimension to begin with.

2. The second thing that i want to discuss is this part 

bc well, he says a lot of emotionless and crude stuff, like that the real reason why he rescued morty and summer was to be accepted in the house by beth, and that his arc isn’t about getting over his dead family bc it was fake… but man… how do u explain this

like… i think he actually cares about his family, but maybe there’s a reason why he want morty to think he is a bad person, so when he finds out he’s not his original rick he won’t be as devastated as if he thought rick was a nice person

Stupid

Hey y’all! Happy Wednesday! Hope you enjoy this little fun one.

Bucky x Reader

Summary: Reader uses her power of invisibility to teach Bucky a lesson for shamelessly flirting with her.

Warnings: Language, Touching…?

I swear to god Bucky Barnes knew that I had a crush on him. A big old, stupid, little kid crush that made me pretty much speechless around him. I avoided him like the plague because every time I ran into him and tried to talk to him, I would trip over something, stutter like crazy or say something that was just plain stupid. I really didn’t know what was wrong with me.

Natasha used to tell me that he liked me too, but I always doubted it. She’d pull the whole we were trained by the Russians together bullshit to try to convince me she knew everything he was thinking. But I just didn’t believe it.

He was a goddamn super soldier, and a pretty one at that, and I was the runt of the Avenger’s litter. There wasn’t much I could do besides make myself invisible. I was the new kid and I was still learning how to fight and I didn’t go on many missions yet and well… I was a potato compared to Bucky Barnes. 

But I accepted this. And I accepted his teasing.

Until one day when the whole team was watching a movie and he teased me a little too much for me to not fight back. This is the story of how I wrapped Bucky Barnes around my little finger. 


The whole team was in their designated corners of the living room, lounging on their choice of furniture. The only person missing was Bucky, but that wasn’t surprising. He was never on time to anything. 

Wanda and I were tucked into a small sofa with Natasha in the middle of us. I was perfectly burritoed in my favorite blanket when the opening credits started.

“Hey, (Y/N), mind if I sit next to ya?”

His voice sent shivers down my spine that I tried my hardest to ignore. 

“Go find another seat, Buck, there’s no room here,” Natasha snarled at him.

“Nah, there’s plenty of room,” he said. Before any of us could respond, he was lifting me up and placing me gently in his lap where he held me tightly around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. I had no doubt he was giving Natasha a victorious smirk. “See?”

“No! Buck, get off!” Wanda whisper shouted as Natasha kicked his legs. 

“Alright, alright,” he said in surrender. He stood up and placed me back on the seat of the couch with a wink. When he straightened himself and looked around the room he asked, “Where the hell am I supposed to sit, then?”

“You were late, so you sit on the floor,” Steve delivered, making me laugh. I lived for Steve’s rare sassy moments. 

Bucky sighed and laid on the floor, stretching himself out and leaning on his elbows. When he was situated, Tony asked him from across the room, “How’s the floor treatin’ ya, Barnes?”

“Just fine,” he answered. Then he looked up at me with his stupid blue eyes and said, “I could use some company though. Wanna join me?”

I rolled my eyes but smiled. “No, see, I have a seat because I wasn’t late.”

He chuckled at that. “That’s alright,” he said before directing his gaze to my bare, crossed legs in front of him. “I like the view from down here anyway,” he said, brushing his rough knuckle against my ankle.

I had to stop my jaw from hitting the ground and I immediately regretted wearing my pajama shorts. Before I could shoot a reply his way, Sam yelled, “Just everyone shut up and watch the damn movie.”

I felt heat rising to my cheeks as I tucked my legs under me and covered them with the blanket. I heard him chuckle from below and I threw a small couch pillow at his head. 

“She fights back!” He said with a fake gasp. “What a sight!” Then he leaned closer to me and said with a low growl, “That turns me on even more than your legs do.”

“Buck. Watch the movie,” Steve warned for what sounded like the last time. 

“Yessir,” Bucky said with a salute. He turned to me and winked one more time before settling on his elbows and concentrating on the movie. 

Once my pulse slowed and the blood ran out of my cheeks, I turned to Natasha and whispered, “Be right back.” She gave me a raised eyebrow, like she knew my exact plan. Damn those Russians for teaching her to practically read minds. 

I quietly climbed over the back of the sofa so I wouldn’t catch Bucky’s attention, and left the room. Once I was outside everyone’s view I stuck my hands out in front of me. With a gulp and a blink, I watched them disappear and snuck back into the living room. 

Once I stood above Bucky, I crouched down behind him. I was surprised my thundering heartbeat didn’t give me away. Time to get some revenge, I thought. 

I slowly lowered my hands onto his shoulders, making him jump and turn to look over his shoulder. When he didn’t see anyone there, I could almost see the cogs turning in his head as he tried to figure out what the hell was going on. I took this as a chance to continue.

I ran my invisible hands forward and down his chest, ignoring how thick and firm he felt under my fingertips- this was about getting him hot and bothered. I felt his breath quake before he spoke. “Natasha, where’s (Y/N)?”

“In the bathroom,” she said. By her voice, I could tell she knew exactly what I was doing and she was happy to have a front row seat. 

I leaned into his neck and felt every muscle in his body tighten. I remembered all the times his flirting had left me flustered and embarrassed and was encouraged to crank it up a notch. I latched onto his ear with my teeth and as my hands neared his belt, he said, “Huh. Are you sure?”

The sound of his raspy voice told me I won this battle. As soon as my hands were there, they were gone and the next time Bucky saw visible me was when I was walking back into the room and jumping on the couch. 

“Buck, you don’t look so good,” I said, giving him a look of fake concern.

“She’s right, man, maybe you should jump in the shower or something,” Steve said. 

“A cold shower,” Natasha mumbled, making Wanda and I giggle. 

Bucky cleared in throat and turned his blue eyes to me. “I think I’m just gonna grab some water. (Y/N), care to join me?” 

“Sure,” I said, winking at Natasha and Wanda and following him to the kitchen. I grabbed two glasses and handed one to him to fill. 

“I didn’t know you played dirty, (Y/N),” he said with a smile, handing me a cup full of water.

“I don’t usually.”

“Well, you seem like a pro to me,” he winked. 

“I just wanted to see you get flustered for a change,” I said before taking a sip.

“Are you kidding?” he asked. Jesus why was he so cute?

No, I’m not kidding! I’m the one who looks stupid all the time, now it’s your turn!” I confessed, playfully slapping his arm while he laughed at me.

“I’m the one who’s stupid. The guys always tease me for how I get around you. I cringe at what comes out of my mouth sometimes.” 

His laugh mixed with mine and echoed off the kitchen tiles. I heard Sam shush us from the other room and burst into a whole new fit of laughter. 

“Alright, how about we stop being stupid around each other? Just go on a regular, non stupid date?” he asked.

“Okay,” I laughed. 

We whispered the details to each other as we walked back into the living room to watch the rest of the movie. Once we both plopped down into our seats, I heard Bucky ask Clint what he missed while he was gone.

“Nothing. This movie is stupid.”

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wild world condensed
  • good grief: death and how confusing it is
  • the currents: donald trump sucks and so does the media
  • an act of kindness: regret and self loathing
  • warmth: how to recover from 2016
  • glory: oHMYGOD WHAT IS ThIs bLESSInG
  • power: an abusive relationship??? the media is shit????? who knows not me but i hope no one hurt dan
  • two evils: again, more self loathing but slightly more optimistic self loathing
  • send them off!: religion, demons and jealously?? insecurity??
  • lethargy: anxiety (particularly about dying)
  • four walls: the song about a convicted murderer
  • blame: two gangsters fighting??? thanks dan for this deep meaningful song
  • fake it: idk man i suppose it's about how shit the media is?? (again)
  • snakes: more anxiety, this time about life in 2016 in general
  • winter of our youth: MORE self loathing and nostalgia and anxiety
  • way beyond: the media, if u didn't already know, is SHIT
  • oil on water: sex, but empowering sex. u go girl, u have all the sex
  • campus: don't stay in school kids y'all are wasting your time it's a trap
  • shame: bad blood 2.0, otherwise known as, "u were my best friend and then u changed and ur horrible now" (also, hidden self loathing)
  • the anchor: so yeah conclusion i hate myself but ily