fake tacos

An episode of Chopped:

ALEX GUARNASCHELLI: This dish is like a beautiful breath of fresh air for my mouth and reminds me of my childhood.

Amanda Freitag: *waking up from nap* I just uuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm don’t really understand this dish?

GEOFFERY Zakarian: this dish of plain noodles is too spicy

Aaron Sanchez: this is not a fUCKING TACO YOU PUT THIS FAKE FUCKIBG TACO IN FRONT OF ME YOU MOTHERF–

Chris Santos: *stares dickishly at dish* you know my biggest problem here is that you touched the table then touched my food I can’t eat this its unsanitary

Maneet Chauhan: *looks fucking beautiful and is perfect*

Marcus Samuelson: egg shaped face

Scott Conant: You put red onions on this you fucking idiot, you complete imbecile, you worthless dirty asshole do you see how tall my hair is you think you’re better than my hair youre an embarrassment to this show, to the viewers, to–

Ted Allen: Be well chefs, call me if you need anything, I care about all of you as if you were my small chef babies you are important and beautiful

Me: I love this show and I hate Scott Conant

We are not sombreros, zarapes, mustaches, maracas or fake american tacos. Learn some Mexican culture before you celebrate something as mexican when we don't even celebrate it!

Though yes it is an important day when México defeated the French Army in the city of Puebla, it is not a holiday like that for us. IT IS NOT OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY.
And more important, DON’T CELEBRATE MÉXICO WHEN YOU DON’T EVEN WANT MEXICANS IN YOUR COUNTRY.
Thank you.

4

i frequently think “this is probably viral marketing for something” and then never find out what it’s viral marketing for. like, phones? it’s probably phones.

Those London shows

I am still in CSI mode and buried under the media coverage, the timeline and the 36 pages of fakebabycsi tag, but here is a quick rundown of the London shows. I hope you don’t mind my sharing it outside of the masterpost, but it is hilarious.

Sept 24:

  • RBBSBB back: HAVING A FUCKING WEDDING and Larry Grayson. Under a spotlight.
  • Liam mentioning rainbow flags, During Girl Almighty the stage has the colors of the rainbow 
  • Simon in the stands. 
  • Ashley Jessica tweeting: Get ready :)
  • Ashley Jessica going back to private after this tweet
  • Twitter user jenxalice posts a picture of Briana, bump covered by a cordon.
  • Said twitter user has 400 followers but is a mutual of Simon Cowell and has a follow from Jay.
  • On the pic she posts Briana is standing with legs spread (like when you are very pregnant!!), picture immediately torn apart by the angle that the *big* bump is caused by her arm dressed in black, covering her belly.
  • NOT ANYMORE SIMON.

Sept 26:

  • B in the arena shop buying food, with Fizzy alone. No budyguard. Nothing.
  • Liam and Louis having fun as Liam puts on a Simon mask during LITTLE WHITE LIES.

Sept S8:

  • Another possible candidate for Briana is pictured but it was quickly cleared that it was a friend of Lou Teasadale’s

Sept 29:

  • A pic posted where her bump is covered by a fence/gate. From the side it looks like she is ready to pop, the bump is so low.
  • KIIS FM, Ryan Seacrest and Ellen talking about fake pregnancies.
  • Seacrest even tweeted. Taco Bell replied.

Sept 30:

  • Her belly looks like she is more than ready to pop.
  • Buscandoelparaiso Anna sees her drinking from a pint glass.

Nov 2:

  • Papped with a bump that changed size and is now too small. Bump no longer low, back to normal place.


Sugarscape:

Sugarscape later:

Looking back. H.O.L.Y. S.H.I.T.

Things Taco Bell Never Advertises Because They’d Rather Do Boss Wraps: Vegetarian Edition

Did you know Taco Bell is the first fast-food restaurant to be certified vegetarian-friendly in the United States? No? Congratulations, you learned something today. Here are some life hacks for the veggies among us next time your friends are craving tacos:


1) Any item on our menu can be made vegetarian at no extra charge by substituting pinto beans, black beans, or rice for meat. (If your cashier seems new and can’t find the button, you can tell them–nicely, please!–that it’s on the second page of Modifications with the same buttons you use for stuff like “sub chicken for beef.”) Your Taco Bell Lady suggests trying a Crunchwrap Supreme with refried beans. Yum.


2) We’ve already got a pretty badass vegetarian menu, no modifications required. Your options include both our Tostadas, the Seven-Layer Burrito, the Veggie Cantina Bowl (yum), the Veggie Cantina Burrito, the regular Bean Burrito, the Black Bean Burrito, the Cheesy Bean and Rice Burrito, the Spicy Potato Soft Taco, the Triple Layer Nacho, the Cheese Quesadilla, and pretty much all of our sides (Fiesta Potatoes, Black Beans and Rice, Pintos and Cheese, Nachos).


3) Any vegetarian item can be made vegan at no extra charge, and very simply, too. Just order it Fresco–it replaces all dairy-based items with pico de gallo. The side of nachos can be ordered as “Chips and Guac” or “Chips and Salsa” if you want vegan nachos, too–if your cashier seems lost, the buttons are on the Cantina screen. Both of these are a few cents more because the raw materials cost more than nacho cheese. That’s okay. The Cantina Salsa is delicious and your Taco Bell Lady recommends it whether you’re vegan or not.


4) You’d think there would be a Vegetarian menuboard. There isn’t, so don’t waste your time looking–just check the list above. Taco Bell has a national menu with very few regional variations, and this should be the vegetarian menu everywhere.


5) For best results, order your bean tacos soft, not crunchy. We have a scoop like an ice-cream ladle for our beans, and it’s really hard to spread beans evenly in a crunchy taco. Your line crew will thank you and your tacos will taste better in a soft shell.


Have at it, veggies. Feed your need for fake Mexican food.

drunkenpinderhughes  asked:

My knowledgeable brotha; while i may agree with you on certain aspects of your statement about how Bun B > Eminem, and i feel that the argument could be made either way; i wonder are you prepared for the backlash of your comment?

Yes lmao, Eminem fans make no sense to me. All they do is talk about his record sales like that means anything about the quality of his content. Cause taco bells sells some fake ass booty ass “tacos” and still sells a lot, doesn’t mean they sellin the best taco out there. Just means we have a lot of peeps who fuck with stale shit.