fake seizure

Fake Service Dogs

I’m BEYOND pissed
This is what happened at REI tonight with a fake service dog (REI’s near me only allow service animals). I went in with Kasida to get her some boots for the hot pavement. I was putting one on her to make sure it fit after I measured her paw. My back was facing the main aisle and I hear Kasida start to whine. I heard a commotion behind me and stood up. There was a dog lunging at Kasida and if I hadn’t have stood up I would have gotten attacked. Kasida freaked out and backed up and got caught on a basket. It took me 15 minutes to get her unhooked from it. My mom yelled at the guy and asked if it was a service dog and he smirked and nodded his head. I AM ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS. First your pet was going to attack my dog. Second of all its illegal to fake a service dog. Third of all Kasida is a seizure alert dog. My seizures tend to be violent and can become life threatening. Your stupid dog could have made her miss an alert, and if she had and I had a seizure, I’d potentialy be in the hospital or worse. DO NOT FAKE SERVICE ANIMALS. DO NOT HARRASS SERVICE ANIMALS. DO NOT INTERACT WITH THEM.
Sorry for the rant

come to think of it, rachel is very extra

like, imagine pretending to kidnap your clone’s daughter to get her on a plane, then actually kidnapping your clone’s daughter after dressing up as said clone and drugging her brother, shagging your clone’s ex, investigating your clone’s other ex, managing to get your father to kill himself watching old home videos, deporting your other clone’s girlfriend, getting a pencil in your eye after attempting to harvest your clone’s ovaries, faking a seizure at your clone’s mother’s house, putting another one of your clones into an induced coma so you can leave the country, telling your mother you’d rather die than have dinner with her, casually explaining to your baby clone she’s going to die of a horrible disease, destroying your nemesis’s career with your camera necklace, having your manservant tie your brother up to your bed so you can get on a helicopter, stabbing your mother and then bandaging her up out of spite and leaving her to rot in the basement where she locked you up, beating your clone, stabbing your clone, and shooting your clone

only to then casually clean the knife, put it back, don a cool suit and discuss how to use future clones as lab rats with a super shady secret board that has an immortal victorian scientist at its helm

i mean, extra


Favorite Friendships: Big Boo & Pennsatucky
↳ Remember how I was in the puppy program? Well, see, I may have palmed a doggie sedative, or four, that I have been keeping as a treat for myself in case I would like to fake a seizure, go on a vacation to a hospital and touch nurses. Do you see, this is how much I care about you, Doggett. I am willing to burn that dream on you.

Jeffrey Dahmer’s childhood friend Ted Lehr describes Dahmer as “just bad enough to be fun.” He says that the two liked sledding and throwing snowballs at cars. Lehr also said Dahmer displayed little sympathy for others. If he saw another child get hurt at the playground, Dahmer would either laugh or show indifference. Martha Schmidt, a former classmate of Dahmer’s at Revere High School, is quoted as saying: “The Jeff that was my friend was, at 16-years-old, lost… He seemed to cry out for help but nobody paid attention to him at all …He would come in with a cup of scotch - not coffee with something in it - scotch. If a 16-year-old drinking in an 8 a.m. class isn’t calling out for help I don’t know what is.” Dahmer was known for bizarre behavior such as drawing outlines of dead bodies on the ground, faking seizures at school and the mall and hurricane drills. Former classmate Mike Kukral recalls: “All of a sudden you’d be walking down the hall and you’d hear someone yelling and hollering and running through the hallway and it’s Jeff Dahmer in the middle of the day, running, flapping his arms yelling ‘hurricane drill hurricane drill everybody hide.’“ Behaving in an odd way at Revere High School became known as "doing a Dahmer.” Another classmate, Brian Bogdanski, remembers Dahmer openly drinking a beer at McDonalds in front of a cop. “He couldn’t be intimidated by anything,” Bogdanski said. When he wasn’t pursuing his favorite hobby of dissecting roadkill and preserving the bones, Dahmer also used to go into the wooded area surrounding his family home shirtless and beat the trees with sticks.

Jeffrey Dahmer was deemed the weird kid throughout highschool. He would show up to first period drunk with a Styrofoam cup filled with hard alcohol. Sometimes he would act out and fake seizures for laughs. People started calling it “doing a Dahmer”

the signs as things John Cheese has done
  • Aries: when confronted with being somewhere he wasn't supposed to be in an alternate universe holding a homemade flamethrower, he said, "We're from the Fire Department."
  • Taurus: ramped his truck over government quarantine fences while his car's radio played Bad Moon Rising by Creedence
  • Gemini: when his best friend's girlfriend fed her dog convenience store burritos to help the dog shit out a homemade bomb shaped like a dog treat she had accidentally eaten, he picked up the uncontrollably shitting dog and aimed her asshole at the enemies the bomb had been intended for
  • Cancer: purposely made sure to time his smoking just right so he was lighting a new cigarette as he was approaching a crime scene in order to look as cool as possible
  • Leo: aided his best friend in burning down his best friend's house because they saw a spider in it
  • Virgo: got kicked out of art class for submitted very, very detailed charcoal nudes of himself with six inches added to his genitalia
  • Libra: shaved half of his best friend's girlfriend's dog, at the request of the dog.
  • Scorpio: when his best friend started talking about some random guy's attributes because he thought his girlfriend could do better, John started talking about the random guy having a great ass because he wanted to feel included
  • Saggitarius: claimed he faked a seizure when some people tried to get him to leave a scene and after pretending not to speak English didn't help (note: it's possible none of this actually happened and John was lying)
  • Capricorn: attempted to make a jetpack, then later claimed the burns were from messing around with homemade fireworks
  • Acquarius: when he needed to make a group of people form a recognizable shape to communicate to some pilots that there were still relatively healthy people in their town, had them all form the shape of a penis because spelling out a word would take too long
  • Pisces: whenever he's fighting something, he constantly makes puns based on whatever he's using as a weapon or whatever he's fighting. or both.
Things I’ve Heard My Friends Say Part 2

“We’re earlobe twins.”

“Is your grandma’s birthday real?”

“Fix my butt!”

“A baby with a unibrow coughed on me on the plane!”

“I didn’t even hear him open his voice.”

“She looks like a child coming out of the womb.”

“You look more like your little sister than you look like yourself.”

“Paulina, if that guy comes over here, I want you to fake a seizure so I don’t have to talk to him.”

“That’s what you get for having large, fatty lumps on your chest.”

“She sneezed so good!”

“I electrocuted myself last night, but only like a little bit.”

“What are the chances this is drugged?— Quite high.”

“You look like you just crawled out of Beyonce’s womb.”

“There’s a bunch of bologna on my ass.”

“He’s like a leprechaun. He’s so magical!”

“Today I had to come into school twice yesterday.” (Yes, we were all very confused)

“When men get old, their ears and nose get huge.”

“Be healthy all the night.”

“They’re like foot socks.”

“Get it grandma!”

“I’m gonna be an old person with tattoos and look hella cool.”

“Does he drug?”

“I like being in your crevices.”

“Do you want to lick my chicken dents?”

anonymous asked:

I'm fairly new to the cancer crew fandom and I've been wondering about Joji's seizures so if you wouldn't mind answering that would be great and if it something that we're not supposed to talk about then im sorry and I shall leave Thanks

“I was recently diagnosed with a brain condition that ironically gives me seizures. This whole time we thought it was so funny doing these fake seizures and now…some call it bad luck, some call it karma.” - Joji

quoted from an old youtube video that is now deleted, so I can’t tell you much more. Hope this helps you better understand his condition <3

blessedthrice  asked:

5 jeanmarco

tentatively called “jeanbo creeps on his hot freckled neiiiiggghhbor”. this is like the beginning to a terrible, terrible porno. #5: “are you drunk?” from this prompt list yeeeee 

The guy in apartment 314, the one with the face full of freckles and the big brown eyes and the dopey smile, the one who was either a total virgin or a complete pervert and nothing in between, was called Marco Bodt. Jean knew this not because he actually spoke to him, but because he started creeping the mailroom and hanging out by the box labeled #314 when the mailman came in on his days off. He knew Marco Bodt’s name the same way he knew that Marco Bodt went jogging on Tuesdays and Thursdays, took a Jansport backpack with him everywhere he went, and never brought anyone, male or female, home with him. He was out the door every morning at 8, whistling some stupid song like “Someone’s in the Kitchen with Dinah”, the tune never failing to work it’s way through the thin walls of Jean’s apartment and jerk him from even the deepest sleep. He’d come in for the night no later than 10:45pm– weekend or not. He received more mail than anyone Jean had ever known in his life.

It was starting to feel a little weird, kind of dirty and invasive, but it didn’t stop Jean from poking into the mailroom and inspecting the packages the UPS man left behind with Marco Bodt #314 scrawled across the top from time to time, occasionally picking them up and shaking them, trying to guess what might be inside: A bible or a dildo, but what kind of dildo and from where? Was he a Bad Dragon kind of guy or a cheap, simple bullet type? Did he like to get fucked while reading the Bible? Was it a King James, like the one Jean’s mother was always trying to shove in his face when he’d come home to do laundry? “If you don’t make time for God, how do you expect Him to make time for you?” But maybe Marco Bodt didn’t even own a dildo, even if that bottomface said otherwise.

“I think that’s mine.”

It was a Wednesday when he was finally caught. Package clutched in hand, mid-shake, Jean froze as the soft, tentative voice came from behind. Instinct told him to play dumb, to put the small box back where he found it, laugh it off with an apology, the excuse that he thought it was his– he’s always doing that haha, kind of a narcissist, if it’s in the mailroom it must be his ha ha ha. Impulse told him to throw it against the wall and run, break his lease and move states, go by a new name and die in obscurity. The soft voice of Marco Bodt gave out a confused, “Um…” and neither instinct nor impulse won out. Jean didn’t move. His face was tingling, cheeks burning a mortifyingly furious red. His heart was pounding. He considered faking a seizure.

“Hey,” Marco was trying again, and there was a sudden weight against Jean’s shoulder, warm and gentle. A hand. The package dropped to the floor with a deafening thud. “Hey, man, are you ok?”

A low, droning moan escaped him. No words, nothing that could make the situation any less horrifying. A drawn out “Ughhhhhh” that he didn’t realize was physically coming out of his mouth until it was too late to stop himself. Somehow, he hadn’t embarrassed himself enough yet. Somehow it was only getting worse.

“Are… are you drunk?” Marco’s voice dropped to a whisper, as if he was concerned about being offensive, about someone hearing the exchange and getting the wrong idea about the man who was shaking his mail and groaning like a complete psycho. The clock on the wall read half-past two and the sun was shining through the window. It looked like a beautiful day for Jean to fling himself into traffic. Somehow, pretending to be drunk midday on a Wednesday seemed like the least terrible option in front of him, and he went with it.

“Oh.. absolutely.” He bent over, picking up the package, fumbling with it a little before turning, swallowing thickly. Marco Bodt was even prettier up close, with his splatter of freckles and his big puppydog brown eyes and with such a case of bottomface that if he wasn’t gay then nobody was. Jean would stake his life on it. He held out the box, arms fully extended, as if surrendering something near and dear to him. Marco accepted it with the same amount of care, not seeming quite sure what else to do with himself. Tucking it under his arm, he seemed to be considering Jean for a moment, a kind, pitying smile tugging at his lips. Jean could take pitying. If Marco Bodt kept smiling at him like that, he could pity him all he wanted.

“Do you need help getting upstairs?”

Marco could pity him forever, for all he cared. He gave out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.


anonymous asked:

Well, my friend basically told me that my asthma isnt real, and that I faked my asthma attack. I couldn't breathe normally for that time + I thought I was gonna die. But some bitch who fakes seizures with no diagnosis of any form can call me take!-.-

asthma is something the SJWs made up, like genders

Adorkable / EXO request

Hope you like it.

Kris: You were so happy to finally rencounter yourself with Yifan that you just couldn’t help to skip all around him making silly noises.

What are you doing?

Tao: You’re not an early person, and this morning you couldn’t be any more asleep when you dressed yourself. You had been all day long running errands asking yourself why everyone looked at you so weird, maybe it was because you had styled you hair different or maybe it was because you were wearing your shirt backwards… Tao just couldn’t miss the opportunity to immortalise your stupidity.

Luhan: This was the very first time you were going to wear high heels, it wasn’t really your style, but you wanted to impress your man, so you wore the highest stiletto heels you could find. Luhan knew you had done this for him so he didn’t say anything when you started acting out sexy but instead spread your ankle while trying to impress.

Chen: Having big boobs is such a problem, so fixing your bra is just like an unconscious act for you, and it’s okay, as long as you don’t do it front of your boyfriend and his bandmates…

EXO:    O.O

Chen: *approaches you discreetly*

Baby I don’t think you should be doing that here…


Baobei why are you so cute!!

Xiumin: The two of you were out for a romantic evening, staring at each other, holding hands and smiling. Your latte was delicious, just the perfect blend of coffee and milk, creamy and hot…  But wait, what is that in your upper lip? Haven’t you noticed it? Nope, you haven’t, but Xiumin did, and he just couldn’t help but hold his laughter as you continued talking about everything and nothing at all with your big milk handlebar.

Suho: You didn’t know how to dance, but that has never stopped you to have fun, Suho knew what he had done when he took you clubbing with them.

EXO: *whispering to one another*

Is Y/N-ah having a seizure?…


*faking smile* 

shut up or I’ll kill you.

Sehun: Finds out you like to imitate his dance moves when you are alone…

Baekhyun: You rapidly step out of the elevator after having pressed every button and leaving Baekhyun behind… 

OMO, you’re a such a child…

Chanyeol: Nobody is dorkier than him.

Dork you said?…


You:*walking towards the restaurant exit, stupidly walks into the glass door*

Kyungsoo: You had just re-discovered you can actually see your nose but your brain choses to ignore it, you you look continuously at it, so you end up squinting continuously… 

gifs/images not mine unless stated otherwise.

As a teenager, Jeffrey Dahmer became so well known for his pranks that his high school classmates began referring to them as “doing a Dahmer”. Dahmer’s pranks ranged from silly things like knocking things over in stores to serious things like faking seizures. While some of his pranks were certainly done to get a laugh out of people, others seemed to be done simply to attract attention to himself.