Warnings: drinking, sexist behavior? Mild violence mentioned, very subtle mention of sexy times.
Word Count: 3.3k
A/N: This was supposed to be a short one, but eh. I’ve been living in the land of heavy angst with You are My Heaven and intense stress in my real life so when this fun, fluffy idea popped up, I ran with it. I’m working on a lot of other stuff so be patient, please! As always, I appreciate your feedback. Love each and every one of you!!
“You wanna bet?” Clint challenged the redhead across the table from him.
Natasha leaned forward and held his gaze, not an ounce of doubt in her demeanor. “Absolutely.”
It was too early in the morning for this childish banter, you thought from your seated position at the far end of the long kitchen table. You slumped forward, dipping the tea bag in and out of the steaming mug of liquid before you, then setting it on the small saucer beside it. Wrapping your hands around the cup’s warmth, your eyes unfocused as you continued to tune out the blathering of your teammates. The only other person in the room paying them no mind was Bucky, who was slouched in a cozy chair, thoroughly engrossed in a book.
“Now wait a minute,” a third voice joined the argument, “If we’re gonna do this, we gotta level the playing field a little. Nat could do this in her sleep. We need someone a little more…down to earth. How about Y/N?” Sam gestured toward you.
Blinking a few times, you finally broke out of your stupor. “Hey! I was only half listening to your stupidity, but I think I’m offended.”
I saw exo by myself after their concert and freaked
Okay so after exo concert on February last year. They let the fans out of prudential center first. Most fans had left but there were a handful that stayed. So tell me how the security tried to give us the slip (me and my friend) saying that they were going out through the closed gate which was on the other side of the building. So, we went over there because the van was actually facing that way. We saw them come out and they waved before getting in.
Then, to my utter and complete horror, the van proceeded to reverse and then go out through the other gate. My ass was like hell no. So I bolted like the Usain Bolt down the block to see if I could meet them at the corner. (Mind you I have asthma and it was raining and them blocks are long as shit) so then, I stopped at the end of the block because the van was at the stop light. And I was the only person at the corner. I ain’t know what to do. I just waved like a goofball and cheese really hard. Chanyeol waved back, Kai was staring and sehun too. My ass almost fainted.
But this ain’t the end of it yall. So my friend had to leave and I had to go back home so I had to take the NJ transit train back and I was also lost a couple times. But I made it to 32nd street. My train is at the corner of 32nd, right in front of this hotel. So, I walked up to it and stood in front of the train sign, pulled out my phone and proceeded to call my mom, however my phone died mid call.
So, a van pulls up directly in front of me but I ain’t think too much on it. Until I was hearing korean. I looked up so fast and almost shit myself. The boys came off the bus and we’re standing right in front of the entrance. I can see chanyeol, Kai and sehun watching me. I actually thought they would recognize me and I swore they did but I pretended to not know who they were and faked an entire phone call with my mom as they stood there talking for what felt like forever. Before they walked in. Now, I broke down crying the moment they stepped foot inside the hotel. The manager saw me, looked at me like he wanted to say something but didn’t and followed them. I can honestly say I went home crying heavy!
“You know when you watch someone else do something stupid and you just cringe and die internally on their behalf? That was me during Seungbae’s fake phone call. I can’t actually read that part without distracting myself. It’s so embarrassing.”
i don’t think non addicts understand
just how easy it is
to hide a drug habit
the ones closest to you won’t notice
they think your smile is genuine
because they don’t know
that the grin is fueled by morphine
it becomes second nature
to fake a phone call
while on a date
just to sneak off to the bathroom
and powder your nose
it’s even easier
to hide behind a screen
when your best friend texts
telling you about her day
and she has no idea
that in between replies
you’re on the bathroom floor
overdosing, vomiting, gasping for air
begging god to just bring you home
requested by anon <3 prompt;
you’ve suddenly started wearing make up and making more of an effort then you use to and are getting attention from a lot more boys then usual. Problem. You’re still a pretty awkward person. Though, meeting young Magneto may change your life upside down.
a/n; he is very hot
attention is…ravishing, yet your awkward demeanor and loopy smile is what gives
away that you are completely not used to it. Wearing makeup as a sort of battle
armor to gain more confidence was an inspiring idea at first, but now, as you
politely listen to the same man drone on and on about your astounding beauty
(you know he would not think so if he was to phantom what eyeliner is) for the
past hour or so, you regretted ever leaving the house. The main problem is you are
too awkward to tell him to sod off, and waiting for a savior is your only
chance of survival. You press a fake smile to your lips, nodding, trying to
direct your attention at anything else but the grinning man on the other side
of the table. The dinner is full. Perhaps it is because it’s late and people
are out for a drink. You take a sip of yours – granted, at least it was free.
Should you lie and say you are going to ‘powder your nose’? Perhaps fake a phone
call? Maybe you should just go to the counter, sneak into the kitchen and
escape through the back door…
think the lady has had enough of compliments for one night, what do you say?”
The unfamiliar low voice startles you and you blink, glancing to the side with
a taller man had landed his hand on your Romeo’s shoulder. You gulp. He sure is
a sight for sore eyes. Your Romeo frowns and his mood turns sour in an instant,
and though he seems ready to bite back something stops him, you hope it is
common sense, and he retreats, raises his hands to show ‘no harm done’ and
reciting his best pick up line takes his drink and leaves to bother another
lady for the night. The stranger, or your savior, seems amused though says
little, only a quiet ‘May I take a seat?’ and for whatever damned reason you
let him. Your plans of escaping fly out the window, but you are not distraught.
Instead, you lean back in the comfy seat and prepare your ears for another ray
of empty compliments you don’t know how to reply to – what did the girls on the
TV screen do in these types of situations? Wink? Laugh? Flirt? Neither seemed
like valid options at the moment.
something on your face.” He says, instantly making your cheeks burn in alarm
and embarrassment. You lean out, your lips open to form words but again, you
halt, your voice strings seem clogged and unreachable, no words form and you
hope it’s not some silly zit he is about to point out, “I say it’s…” He catches
your gaze and you draw blank, “Cake mixture.” You blink, “Cherry schnapps on
your lips… I’m by no means an expert, but…I’d like to think you’d look much
better without any of it.“
maybe I can show you how I look without it sometime.” You cheer mentally –
though the words are crooked and uneven in tone, ranging from cockiness to
severe uncertainty, your reply is a number one hit on the ‘Flirt List’. The corner
of his lip curls into a smirk.
be looking forward to it, then. And what should I call you?”
He recites the name as if to test the way it rolls off his tongue, “I’ll keep
that in mind.”
Just a heads up this is my first reader insert so mistakes might be made.
Summary: Lucifer is the readers guardian angel. The reader gets shoved down the stairs and Luci fights back.
Reader is a thirteen year-old girl (eighth grader)
you walked into your boring middle school (s/n) but you were followed by your not so boring guardian angel Lucifer. The only way you and Luci could talk together in public was either faking a phone call or him reading your mind. It was mostly mind reading. The hallways were filled with other eighth graders like you and little pubescent lemurs known as six graders. It was the time of year, yes finals and EOC’s. Since the seventh graders were testing the halls were slightly less congested but still filled with the asshats that picked on the outcast.
Your watch read 11:16 which meant class would end in a minute so you packed everything into your purple satchel book bag except for your favorite book (b/n). It was a birthday gift from Luci and you never parted with it because it was the original hardcopy and it was the only way to in, in public, call Lucifer when he wasn’t there. Where is your guardian angel? The chair behind you and attempting to tickle you with his wings. He was winning. It took every ounce of energy not to laugh and when the bell rang he stopped letting you release a sigh of relief.
It was time for lunch so you made your way to the stairwell which was eerily empty today. Before a foot could be placed on the first step a pair of hands pushed you down the concrete stairs. Tumbling down, you felt blood ooze down you (h/c), (h/l) hair. Laughter echoed in the stairwell until the lights flickered off. Demons was the first thing in your mind. Screams replaced the laughs and the sound of pain filled the air. The lights flickered on again and your assailants were bloody and broken atop of the stairwell. A pair of wings fluttering caught your attention as Luci flew you somewhere safe known as your home.
Since its Monday, both of your parents wouldn’t be home until at least 10:00. Softly Lucifer placed you on the couch and fetched you a blanket. Bruises began to form and your head pounded. “(Y/N), Its gonna be okay. I got you.” He placed to finger to your blood covered forehead and the injuries began to leave. “Thank you Luci.”
He sat next to you and caressed your head. “no problem my little one, no problem.”
This is going to be a bit like the Abercrombie post I just did, except that I don’t know the policy for Sephora so this is mainly just tips and techniques.
Sephora is one of those stores with SA who breath down your neck, give you suspicious looks, and judge you based on your appearance. Or at least that’s how it is in my location. Now don’t get my wrong. They have excellent makeup tips and can match you with your perfect foundation shade, but they can be so annoying when you’re trying to lift. So the first impression you make can really be important.
- Wear neutral colored clothing (white, grey, navy), nothing that will stand out on camera.
- Dress in a slightly preppy style (a blouse with a collar will go a long way), people who look respectable and professional are less likely to be suspected
- Wear heels! This is helpful because it can deter SA from tailing around behind you because the sound of your heels will make them feel like they know where you are, but they can’t see you concealing!
- Do your makeup! Pay extra attention to your eyebrows and your lipstick. Wear a brightly colored lipstick. For whatever reason, they trust you more if you’re wearing bright lipstick. It’s something I’ve noticed myself and heard other lifters talking about.
Now, the SA in Sephora will try to talk to you. They’ll ask you questions when you come in and see if you need any help. Don’t be intimidated at first-they probably don’t suspect you as they do this to everyone. However, if they continue to do this throughout your shopping trip without any provocation-GET OUT. They probably suspect you. Also, the code for a suspected shoplifter is to say “so and so needs a basket”. This is often accompanied by the SA trying to force you to take a shopping basket. At this point, get out! They suspect you.
Now, onto technique. This can be pretty hard in Sephora. You’re pretty much limited to concealing on the floor, and between the other customers, SA, and cameras (which are monitored!), it’s the technique that creates the thin line between success and prosecution for shoplifting. You have to look natural! I like to bring a friend with me just because it both makes the SA less sis and as part of my exit plan.
My technique for Sephora:
-Hang a structured shopping bag from another store one one arm. Have some clothing at the bottom-your coat or something you bought at another store will do. This is where you will be putting your stolen items-the clothing in the bag is to add structure and prevent the bag from making a crinkling noise when you drop something in.
-From the same arm, hang a Sephora shopping basket. You can ask an employee for one of these when you come in.
-Walk around the store-look natural. This is one of the most important parts. Don’t look nervous. Don’t take random products. Look at labels, test shades on the back of your hand, do things normal shoppers would do.
-When you see a product you like, take two of the same product very discreetly. Drop one into your shopping bag and one into your basket. Since they are on the same level, doing this in one movement will look natural.
-For bigger products, still take a duplicate, but walk around the area holding them in a position where looks like you are only holding one until you come to a blind spot. Here, very quickly drop one of the items into your bag and continue carrying around the other, putting it into your basket as usual.
-If you can’t find blind spots, I’ve found that a good thing to do is when you turn a corner, quickly drop an item into your bag. Or you can do this while turning around, taking something out of your purse, or adjusting your clothing. Any extra movement that distracts from your concealing!
-When you’re done, fake a phone call or a text. Tell the friend you’re with that you’re late to meet someone and mention something about ordering the products online when you get home. Say it loudly enough that the SA will hear. Then. Put your basket by the door and head on out.
Hope you all enjoyed these tips, please be careful and enjoy your new products!
so catch me at ultra, tote bag in hand, ready to steal. sombra, is this the same ultra you went to last week and stole 300 dollars worth of shit from? the answer to that question UNFORTUNATELY is yes, which was my first mistake. i thought that because last time was the weekend during the day and this time was a weeknight it would be a different crew, but one of the SAs from last time was definitely there. i right of to bat picked up that she recognized me. i don’t know if she knew i had lifted last time because i concealed one million miles away from a camera, but it still wasn’t the ideal situation.
i didn’t grab any large decoy items this time! which was totally dumb! always grab massive decoy items so even when you leave other high dollar shit, its hard for them to immediately tell when things are missing!!! mistake number two!
i got cs’d a little, but it wasn’t a suspicious amount. at some point she asked if i needed help finding anything, and i said “oh im looking for kat von d products” and she said “we only carry those at sephora” and instead of responding to that in a normal way, i basically just said, “bummer!” and continued on. eventually, after i got what i wanted, and just headed back to the hair care section–i saw an SA walking around back there by the salon area but figured she was just stocking up and all, and loaded up my bag. mistake!
as i was loading up my purse (right as i was putting my last handful of stuff in), i saw a black blur at the back of the store behind me. no idea if she saw me or not but she definitely could have.
after i loaded up my purse, i carried my tote to the front of the building, faking a phone call, but i was WAY too quiet on the phone call. i was leaving pauses in the “conversation”; it almost looked like i wasn’t having one at all, which im sure was suspicious–me walking through ultra with a full purse and empty tote, phone pressed silently to my ear? yeah. sus as fuck.
NOW HERE’S WHERE IT GETS HAIRY. the two SA’s, who were chatting with each other and being friendly the entire time i was “shopping” were standing STATUE-STILL and looking out the door as i was approaching. i thought, “that’s it, jig’s up. i better admit defeat and put everything back, cause i know sure as hell i’m not cut out for jail.” i put my tote (which was once full of all you see in my last haul post + 2 other things since the last time they saw me, now just those two other things) on the rack and was about to swerve past the door to dump my shit discreetly in an endcap, when one of the SA’s, giving me a weird look, said “have a nice night.”
to be completely honest, i panicked, and just said “thanks you too,” course corrected (looking completely drunk, im sure) and swerved out the door. once i was out of the immediate vicinity i fucking bolted.
MISTAKE NUMBER ONE: going back to a place i lifted from within a week of the last time i lifted there.
MISTAKE NUMBER TWO: not grabbing any large concealing decoy items, and not grabbing nearly enough small decoy items to replace or leave in the bag as i left.
MISTAKE NUMBER THREE: asking questions to which the answer was “we don’t carry that here” and then me just continuing on like it didn’t matter.
MISTAKE NUMBER FOUR: concealing in the vicinity of an SA when i didn’t know exactly where she was.
MISTAKE NUMBER FIVE: when doing the fake phone call method, i did not talk nearly enough and my “realistic pauses” were way too long.
I don’t know if there are any other mistakes in that last part–because i made it out okay i don’t know if i’d call anything else i did a mistake there (idk how i would’ve avoided the awkwardness), but everything i did leading up to that point was bad.
SO! make sure to avoid those five things when you go to ultra, and remember, BE CONFIDENT, BE NATURAL. You’re just a regular shopper.
so lucky i didn’t get caught, but tonight convinced me i need a break from lifting. i probably won’t be posting hauls for a week or two while i try to curb my enthusiasm. :’) stay sharp y’all!
Chuuya, dazai and ronpa having a gf who keeps playing mystic messenger. Can you make their reactions especially when their gf wakes up like at 3am just to get to the chats. How deal with gf ( its very addicting this game, all the husbands and wife !)
Ooooh, I am Mystic Messenger trash ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
It was the fifth night in a row where Chuuya found himself waking up in the middle of the night because of your Korean otome game. He watched for a few moments as you held the bright phone screen very near your face; occasionally letting out a little squeal. Sometimes you even did this thing where you wriggled around while trying to hold back some kind of excited scream.
“(Y/N)?” Chuuya groaned, tapping your shoulder. You turned around slowly, a grin on your obviously tired face.
“It’s such a fun game!” You started to repeat what you said for the past four nights whenever he asked you why the hell you loved the game so much. “The story gets interesting and the guys are soooo handsome and-”
That last part always ticked him off, he’d seen the guys before and they weren’t that good looking; to you, though, they were like Greek Gods.
Your rambling only ceased to continue when your boyfriend grabbed your phone and keyed in the wrong password so many times it was locked for several hours.
“Chuuya, why?” You pouted, thinking about how many chats and calls you could potentially miss.
“You want the honest truth?” He normally wouldn’t openly admit what he was about to say but it was 3am and he was desperate, “I. Am. Jealous. Your love is only for me.”
Surprised beyond words, he took advantage of the situation and tackled you into a hug. “Now, sleep.”
“(Y/N),” he whined as the two of you cuddled on the couch together, “pay attention to me.”
“Mkay give me like a few more minutes…” you trailed off, eyes still glued to your phone as you participated in some fake chat group.
Peeking over your shoulder, Dazai managed to read whatever was happening… Gosh, it was cheesy, did you like cheesy stuff? Should he be more cheesy to get your attention? Perhaps so…
“(Y/N),” your boyfriend purred into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine but your attention still didn’t stray. “My love, look at me, will you?”
You let out some kind of dismissive sound before your phone rang and you let out a squeal instead. Dazai huffed in annoyance as you accepted the fake phone call. It was from some red haired guy whose name was 707?
As you listened intently to the call, you could hear your boyfriend whining in the background as he tried to get your attention in various ways. He pulled at your clothes, kissed you, poked you and even licked your face at one point.
After you were done, you decided that spending the rest of the afternoon with Dazai should be okay since there should not be any more chat groups. Putting your phone aside, you found your boyfriend sulking in the corner of the room.
“Dazai!” His head whipped around, hopeful. You held out your arms, inviting him to hug you, which he did in a split second.
After discovering your obsession with the new otome game, Ranpo didn’t mind as much; but once it got in the way of your love life with him, he hated it with a burning passion.
When he woke up in the morning and looked over at you, game. At breakfast, game. Lunch, game. Break, game. Dinner, game. Before going to bed, game. In the middle of the freaking night, game.
He was sick of it and needed to get rid of it.
Thus, in the middle of the night, when he was sure you were asleep, Ranpo stole your phone and turned it off before hiding it under a loose tile. Smirking, he went back to bed.
Hours later, he was woken up with a loud sniffle. Looking over at you, he was surprised to find you on the verge of tears. “(Y/N)?”
“My phone is missing…” You looked at him with puppy dog eyes, “help me find it?” If there was one person who could find it, it was your boyfriend; because of two reasons: He had his Ability and he was most probably the guy who took your phone.
Unable to resist your charm, he gave in a little. “I will if you spend the whole day with me.”
“But I already do, we live togeth-”
“Also, pay all your attention to me and only me.”
“… Okay.” You smiled before tackling him in a hug. “I know you’re jealous,” you whispered into his ear, “but you don’t have to be…”
Something was seriously wrong and Jay knew it. He could feel it in his bones.
You were keeping to yourself lately, almost always on your phone. Even when the two of you were together there was just something off.
Maybe it was his fault? He was always working, going on tour, he’d leave you alone for weeks on end sometimes. So to make it up to you he cleared his schedule all day, but even then you were ignoring him. He shot you a glare seeing you sit on the couch, cuddled up and smiling at your phone.
“Who the hell is she talking to? Making her smile like that and shit…” Jay grumbled. “Jagi~ You wanna go to a movie tonight?” he spoke up in his kindest voice.
You giggled looking at your phone, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ears. “Nah, I’m ok Oppa.”
“Who are you talking to?”
“Hm? You say something Baby?” you glanced up from your phone.
It finally happened. I’ve been lifting on and off for 15 years and I finally got caught. I was sloppy and made stupid assumptions.
I’m going on my honeymoon soon, and I really wanted some pretty dresses, so I decided to hit up Nordstrom Rack. I had never lifted there before, but I figured I knew what I was doing (FIRST STUPID ASSUMPTION). I grabbed like 10 dresses to try on and I found a couple that I liked. I gave the rejects back to the attendant and headed to what I thought was a blind spot in shoes. As I was getting ready to conceal, I noticed a camera all the way across the store but I thought it was too far away to see what I was doing (SECOND STUPID ASSUMPTION). I put the dresses in my purse, stashed the hangers behind some shoe boxes, and grabbed something cheap to buy so I can get out. The SA who cashed me out didn’t act weird at all but I did notice a guy watching me. I thought maybe he was just checking me out (THIRD STUPID ASSUMPTION). I left the store and went into another store, at which point the guy who I thought was checking me out approached me with two other people, identified himself as LP, and asked for the dresses back. I complied instantly, and he asked me to follow him to his office. He took down all my information, took my picture, and had me sign a confession and a trespassing notice. I’m banned from all Nordstrom stores, including online, for 2 years. They’re going to send me paperwork in the mail, and I’ll probably get a fine.
After I left, I went into a few other stores to try and calm down, but I noticed this one girl kept showing up. She didn’t have a coat or purse, and she was everywhere. She was definitely plainclothes LP. I faked a phone call and left the mall.
I’m so incredibly mad at myself. I fucked up big time and I’m insanely lucky it wasn’t worse. I still can’t believe I was so stupid. Don’t be like me. Exercise extreme caution. Stay aware at all times. NEVER CONCEAL ON CAMERA I DON’T CARE HOW FAR AWAY IT IS! Wtf is wrong with me why did I do that?