fake j. crew

Alright so I’ve been thinking right

the criminal masterminds heists are the whole “one person gets killed, it’s all over” type deal so there’s definitely more pressure to survive

And obviously that’s closer to how non immortal fahc would be anyway ofc so people are looking at this series and thinking that this would be how they’d act in a real heist

Which yeah totally I can understand that

But there’s a lot of people saying that bc Gavin and Jeremy are always trying to be in the less dangerous positions, they’re afraid to die in fahc au

And okay sure I’m sure a part of that plays into it to some degree (tho I have a whole thing on Gavin and his own sense of mortality but that’s neither here nor there right now)

But you cannot look me in the eye and tell me that’s how Jeremy would act

Because the whole reason he’s “afraid to die” in criminal masterminds is because he totally expects SOMEBODY to die and fuck it up like that’s essentially a definite in his mind and he’s terrified that it’s going to be him because he doesn’t want to disappoint everybody and he sure as hell doesn’t want to disappoint himself

He doesn’t want to be the reason everything goes wrong

Which is most certainly NOT how fahc Jeremy would see things because there would be no “oh if I fuck this up we’re all fucked so it’s better if I stay out of it”

You can’t tell me that Jeremy wouldn’t be trying his fucking hardest to make sure things go right BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY

He would ABSOLUTELY be going fucking hard to accomplish this shit and make sure everybody got out safe

He wouldn’t be afraid to die and fuck things up

He’d be afraid he’d fuck things up and somebody else would die

So what if the immortal Fake AH Crew chose when they would stop aging? Like they were a select few who knew they were immortal and they decided how old they would appear once they stopped aging.

Geoff chose to stop getting older when he was 38. He said he didn’t want to be 40 because “that’s when you become officially old” and Geoff Ramsey never wants to make his inner child grows up. But he also chose older rather than younger so he would have some wear and tear to give him some Edge. And, let’s be real, his decision was influenced on the fact that he wouldn’t be carded at a bar.

Jack stopped when she was 32 and her mother died. She was scared of death and didn’t ever want to be around it. She regretted her decision for months because she had to move from place to place to avoid being caught, which meant leaving her and her mother’s belongings and houses behind. After nearly two years of travelling, she settled in Los Santos when hearing rumors of people like herself living at the height of luxury there. Who cares if she is now surrounded by her once fear? Now she had an eternal family.

Ryan was 24 and no one believes him when he says it. They also didn’t believe him when he said he was a model before he became a well-known hit-man, but that turned out to be true so there wasn’t much room for the crew to argue. He tells everyone he didn’t have a reason to stop aging- he just felt like not getting older. Anytime someone in the crew (mostly Gavin) asks why he doesn’t look 24, he says that the crew aged him 10 years with stress alone.

Michael was never concerned with not aging. Every year on his birthday he would question why he would need to pick a year to stop getting older. As a kid he didn’t want to stop because it meant he wouldn’t have anymore birthday parties, and he wasn’t about that at all. Then when he was a teenager, he considered it when he got into fire and explosives because teenagers have less consequences when they set their neighbor’s trash cans on fire every garbage day for three weeks. He finally chose to stop at 27 when he was caught in the middle of an explosion he set up on a heist. He felt it was time to stop aging before he got to old to get himself out of the pain that getting caught in the explosion was. 

Gavin was 21 and did it purely for cosmetic reasons. His skin was finally clear, no wrinkles, no grey hairs, and barely any imperfections. He didn’t want to ever be old enough for his eyesight to get worse or for his body to lose the fast metabolism he currently wields. He couldn’t wrap his head around why the other waited so long because he felt fine stopping as soon as his ID said he was old enough to drink. 

Jeremy stopped also stopped at 27. He originally wanted to stop at 19, but he gave himself the extra eight years in hopes of growing a few inches. It was less of a choice and more of just giving up. He met the crew by accident while they were robbing a bank. He just wanted his paycheck, but then the Vagabond had a gun to his chest. Jeremy’s response was a blunt “can I stop aging first so I’m not stuck with a whole in my chest for the rest of my life,” and instead of killing him, Ryan pulled him into the heist vehicle and drove him to the penthouse at the end of the heist. He stopped aging to not get any scars after he became a member of the crew. 

FAHC Gavin whose at a deal, in full Golden Boy mode, all smiles and sharp wit. One of the boys are with him, acting as bodyguard, but Gavin doesn’t think he needs it. The deal is going wonderful, splendid, the other guys are eating out of the palm of his hand. Gavin is about to tie the deal up in a neat little bow when he sees it.

An unholy screech comes out of his mouth, setting everyone off, guns raised and on red alert. While they are looking around for the threat (eyeing each other, was this a trap?), Gavin prances (fucking prances) over to where a kitten is and scoops it up. Cooing and smushing the cat against his face, phone raised to snap a selfie.

The boy that’s playing bodyguard (most likely Ryan or Michael because Jeremy can’t make too much a deal of it when he does the same thing only with dogs) just. Facepalms. Because of course Gavin would pull this shit during an important meeting. The asshole can’t help himself.

And Gavin feels no remorse. Not when the other crew demands an apology (or a favor from the Fakes. Which. Geoff would laugh in their face if he wasn’t so busy fuming) for almost causing a shootout. He doesn’t even look sorry when Geoff and Jack pull him aside to chew him out for potentially ruining a big deal or worse, ruining his reputation.

It doesn’t help that Lindsay fist bumps him and demands the pictures Gavin took so she could squeal about it too.


Jeremy being the big fan of the Fakes he is, uses Halloween as his chance to cosplay as the other Crew members. Each costume practically consumes him, as he never breaks character until Halloween is over. His first Halloween with them, he dressed as Gavin because he knew he’d be the least upset with it. From the moment he walked out of his room with the self made Golden Boy outfit, everyone lost it. Relief washed over Jeremy as he subconsciously decided to dress up as his friends every year. The year after that he was Jack. She was touched, even though he went with a gender swap, because him being a girl was a bit hard. This year he can’t wait to be Michael so he can try to out rage the angry Lad. He has to wait to be Geoff so he can master the look of the man’s mustache and his disappointed demeanor. He saved Ryan for last because he wants to really get the character down so he can scare the rest of the Crew. The level of commitment the newest member has for these costume is the only thing that scares Ryan.

“I’d rather be dead.”   Then I have some good news for you.

When Ryan is unavailable, Jeremy takes over the role of torturer.

His methods aren’t the same. He isn’t creepy or crazy like the Gent, but he is damn well effective.

Everyone expects the Vagabond, so when a 5’4” thug with a shock of purple and orange hair walks in, they think Ramsey has gone crazy. This kid is gonna get them to talk?

Short answer: yes.

Reality: Jeremy can get them to say whatever he wants.