fairy-tale

BLUEBEARD: WORST HUSBAND EVER

A MAN AND HIS CHILDREN LIVE IN A SHITTY COTTAGE IN THE WOODS. THEY’RE POOR AS FUCK, BUT HIS DAUGHTER IS RIDICULOUSLY FUCKING PRETTY.

ONE DAY A KING WITH A BLUE BEARD SHOWS UP AND ASKS TO MARRY THE DAUGHTER, AND HER FATHER SENDS HER OF WITH HIM SO SHE CAN HAVE A SLIGHTLY LESS SHIT LIFE. 

WHEN SHE ARRIVES AT THE PALACE, SHE GETS GIVEN A FUCKING MASSIVE BUNCH OF KEYS, INCLUDING A TINY GOLD ONE THAT SHE’S TOLD NEVER TO EVEN FUCKING THINK ABOUT USING.

OF COURSE, AS SON AS BLUEBEARD LEAVES HER ALONE, SHE FUCKS OFF UP TO THE ROOM THAT THE KEY UNLOCKS, AND GOES INSIDE. 

IT’S FULL OF DEAD WOMEN. PILES AND PILES OF MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES. IT SMELLS FUCKING AWFUL, THERE ARE FLIES EVERYWHERE, AND THE FLOOR IS COMPLETELY FUCKING FLOODED WITH BLOOD.

SHE DROPS THE KEY IN THE BLOOD, AND THEN FINDS SHE CAN’T GET THE STAIN OUT. SHE’S FUCKED.

WHEN BLUEBEARD COMES HOME, HE ASKS FOR THE KEY. HE GRABS HIS WIFE BY THE HAIR, DRAGS HER UPSTAIRS TO THE CORPSE ROOM, AND PULLS OUT A MOTHERFUCKING KNIFE.

FORTUNATELY, HER BROTHERS ARRIVE TO RESCUE HER JUST IN TIME, MURDER BLUEBEARD IN THE FACE WITH MOTHERFUCKING SWORDS, AND DUMP HIS BODY IN THE PILE OF CORPSES. NOW EVERYONE IS EITHER HAPPY OR DEAD, WHICH IS AS CLOSE TO A HAPPY FUCKING ENDING AS ANYONE EVER GETS IN THESE FUCKING STORIES.

Fairy house tree trunk sculpture by Torisaur
Via Flickr:
My tree trunk fairy house sculpture is completed! Working today to get portfolio quality pics in place. Thanks to everyone who has encouraged me through this project. What a long journey it’s been LOL :). All furniture is 1:12 scale