fairy angel

“Anime is for kids.”

“Girls are just there to be sexualized.”

“The main characters always end up together.”

“Its too serious.”

“The characters are all the same.”

“There’s no surprises.”

“There’s no good back stories.”

“There’s always a happy ending.”

“All the characters are happy-go-lucky.”

“The main character is too good.”

Ten things that happen when you clap your hands

1. A fairy gets its wings.

2. A request is put out to the suppliers of the wing factory to produce an additional unit of wing materials to help replenish stock levels.

3. Entirely incidentally, a passing bee misinterprets the clapping noise as the sound of a wasp farting. It sniggers. Have you ever heard a bee snigger? Clap and listen carefully. This is all the more remarkable because bees normally have a very mature sense of humour.

4. The gnomish feather shop sends the hob-and-lanthorn out on the moors again to pluck feathers from unsuspecting seabirds. They bill the wing factory for the cost of five hob-hours and a large plucker.

5. An advert is put out for a tendon-stringer second class to act as maternity cover for the wing assembly line, which has become rather stretched with this latest request.

6. You are invoiced for the cost of the wings via the unseelie post. You do not read your unseelie post. The bill goes unpaid.

7. A minor administrator at the wing factory is tasked with investigating the unpaid bill. The administrator realises that two quotes have become stuck together with syrup in the order queue, causing an error. The first quote is about clapping your hands to show that you believe in fairies. The second quote is about angels getting their wings whenever a bell rings. As a result, a number of spurious deliveries have been made to fairies, and a number of bell-related requests have gone unanswered.

8. There is a queue of angry angels at the factory door. They do not have wings. They do have burning swords. Now would be a good time to make a shedload more wings. However, the factory is having major cashflow problems because nobody has been paying their bills.

9. The fairy has buggered off with the original wings and is nowhere to be found.

10. Basically what I am saying is never clap. You may end up being the cause of a major supernatural incident. Just show your appreciation by grinning or something.