fairly badass

Improv

DM: Okay you guys, there’s this dude up on a ledge above you. He’s got this giant rock pendulum thing.

Rogue Dwarf: (ooc) Okay, Tex (me), you know that thing we talked about?

Me: The Wonder Woman thing?

Rogue Dwarf: Yes, that.

DM: What are you guys trying to do here, exactly?

Me: Okay, so i’m a bard but i’m also a dragonborn, so we had this idea that I could, like. Pick up Doris and throw her, like that scene in WW.

DM: …Okay, yeah, that sounds fairly badass. Here’s what we’re gonna do. Tex, roll a strength check and Doris roll an agility check.

Me: [rolls an 11] Well, this may end badly, y'all.

Doris: [rolls a nat 20] Holy shit. Nat 20.

DM: [laughs] Okay, so Doris turns to Tex and yells “LUTE!” and runs at him. Tex puts his lute up and Doris jumps on it, and he pushes her up. His push isn’t strong because he’s a twink of a dragon-

Me and Doris: [laughing]

DM: -but Doris saves it by doing a sick flip and grabbing the ledge, kicking up and over the Kobald guy and landing behind him.

Ranger: Seriously, guys? Are you that extra?

DM: Okay, back to fighting-

Doris: I kick the guy off the ledge.

DM: Alrighty, he takes a 12 foot fall and drops the pendulum. Good job. Tex, agility saving throw.

Me: Shit.

6

♥ it’s time to spread your podcast palette ♥

We’re late into July with August around the corner and the fall slowly but soon enough approaching us. Before the thrills that come with fun in the sun are washed away like sand in the sea, let’s settle under the shade with the best sounds I could find.

Survive, conquer, and stay underground as these picks will ease you through the remainder of your summer days with some style.

Looking for something fresh to please that sudden thirst for audio storytelling? Look no further as PodCake has six more podcasts you’ll certainly love. 

1. The Far Meridian

The Far Meridian tells the story of Peri, an agoraphobic young woman whose home starts to show up in a new location every day, as she searches for her missing brother. 

From the same people who brought you Ars Paradoxica comes The Far Meridian, a vastly different direction from their usual time crunching with the same sense of suspense, sarcasm, and psychological storytelling you’ve grown to love coupled with excellent writing and music composition.

Follow along with our darling heroine, Peri as she must fight against her fears to solve a pressing mystery that might be deeper than it seems at first glance. You can tackle this one in or outdoors to your leisure.

2. Liberty

Welcome to the world of Liberty – serialized sci-fi tales told in comic books and audio drama stories. The colony of Atrius has been cut off from humanity and endured generations of civil war. What remains is a gleaming city and beyond its walls, a lawless expanse known as the Fringe. Liberty features many tales from this world such as the harrowing Fringe expedition series Critical Research and standalone horror stories of Tales from the Tower.

From Critical Research to Tales from the Tower, Liberty comes with a couple of quality tales that may tickle your fancy and your ears. Start off first with Critical Research as we tag along with a special group sent to investigate the treacherous Southern Fringe. 

Though if this promising crew will be prepared for what’s the come is the real question. I’d say count your bullets, save your audio logs, and try to stay alive for this one. (It even has a blooper reel.)

3. Radiation World

Three thousand years since nuclear devastation has razed society to nothing, humans have moved underground to eke out a meager survival while outside the wild has taken over, mutating beyond anything anyone can remember or imagine. When a group of mysterious visitors arrive on a ship, our heroes must make a quest across the wild, encountering an abundance of adventures along the way.

For those who want to take their apocalypse stories a little less seriously comes Radiation World. When the world becomes inhabitable due to nuclear devastation, what better way to get by than passing time in the best bunker available and maybe setting up a sacrifice…if you have the time.

If you’re a fan of The Bunker with a bit of Wooden Overcoats style comedy and Our Fair City levels of world building, and still need your fill of catastrophic hi-jinks, this might be the best pick for your survival kit. In other words, it’s everything you’ve ever wanted.

4. The Orphans

A tale of survival on an unknown world. The Orphans is a cinematic audio drama chronicling the castaways of downed starship, The Venture - Stranded on a hostile planet, struggling to remember how they arrived and who they are. Mysterious creatures hunt them, and in this seemingly unpopulated world, a tower looms. 

When a group of survivors of a crashed ship are thrown into a vast alien world, it’ll take only their wits and teamwork to get by and get back on the track home. The Orphans comes with a cast of colorful characters all with witty banter and some fairly badass moments sprinkled in between some honestly sincere and sweet ones.

In this fast paced story of survival against the odds and a dangerous alien wilderness comes a podcast chock full of fascinating scenarios for those looking for the most out of their sci-fi. You’ll land safely with this one.

5. Hector Vs The Future

The world’s largest museum of obsolete technology is threatened with closure unless Hector - its cantankerous, turnkey-operated clockwork curator - can match the popularity of the cutting-edge Uptodateum across the road. Only George - the mild mannered in-house caretaker with the mysterious past - steps up to help him. 

Rev up your outdated technology and tune that dusty radio to Hector Vs The Future, a comedy podcast for those stuck in the good old days and just too hipster to pass up a show that lovingly revels in the past. 

Those who love their goofball science fiction comedies like Hadron Gospel Hour will enjoy the quirky sense of humor and the occasional musical number derived from situational gags and absurdity. Concluded at only seven episodes and last updated in the distant past of 2016, Hector Vs The Future will offer you just the right amount of entertainment in the present day.

6. Otherverse

Otherverse is a serialized science fiction audio drama podcast. The story follows the invasion of Earth by aliens from another universe, and an alien that wants to save humanity from destruction through their surrender. Invasion is not a simple task.

Hello and welcome to a radio frequency playing from another universe. A higher plain of life has taken over and has been kind enough to offer this nifty little show in our wake. From some of the same minds behind Jim Robbie comes a hefty dose of science fiction black comedy from the eyes of aliens.

Though early in production, Otherverse does make a good first impression with its fairly original premise and inspired narrative that is sure to blossom into some excellent stories in the future. It’s best to sit down surrender, and face the noise.

now, get to listening. 

My Top Fiveish Favorite Yuri Picks

I felt the need to do this, seeings as it’s primarily a yuri blog, with my occasional interests weaved in.

Number 1. Shizuma and Nagisa from Strawberry Panic.

This was the very first yuri I ever watched, and I hold it close to me. I’m not sure what it was about this series that lured me in, but it was very beautiful and captivated me.

Number 2. Homura and Madoka from Puella Magi Madoka Magica.

I watched this at first expecting what mostly everyone else expected: A cutesie magical girl series. I never expected it to be such a mind-fuck. And the “yuri-undertones” just make it that much more rich and better for me. ON TOP OF THE AMAZING artwork in both the anime and manga! If you seriously love a combination of artist styles, and don’t mind being mind-fucked, I highly recommend this. It’s beautiful.

Number 3. Uranus and Neptune, aka Haruka and Michiru from the Sailor Moon series.

I grew up watching Sailor Moon, and these two were so badass. Fairly certain a lot of people who grew up watching it knew that they weren’t “cousins”, if you watched it in the US. I can’t express just how much I love these two. Even though Makoto is my waifu, these two will always be on my top favorite couples. They were just so iconic at the time they were introduced.

Number 4. Inukai Isuke and Sagae Haruki, as well as Namatame Chitaru and Hitsugi Kirigaya, from Akuma no Riddle.

It was suuuuper hard for me to pick a couple from AnR. I really love both Isuke and Haruki’s character designs. And I love that their characters get some sort of story in the anime. I haven’t read the manga yet, but after seeing all the yuri fanart of those two, it made it really hard to pick just one couple from this series. Chitaru and Kirigaya were pretty much the most outgoing yuri couple I noticed in the anime and the first to fully captivate me, next to Tokaku and Haru. And the only reason I say that is because if the hand-holding didn’t strike something, then their own episode where they were Romeo and Juliet did. That was also the one episode that had me bawling my eyes out.

Number 5. Chikane and Himeko from Kannazuki no Miko.

This was the fourth yuri I watched. Even though it was kind of rough for me, I still loved the idea behind it. And I still love the concept behind these two characters. No matter how many times they rebirth, they’ll always find each other. <3

Honorable mentions:
Shinobu and Kaede from Ninja Nonsense/ Shinobuden/ 2x2=Shinobuden

Lucia and Sumire from Venus Versus Virus.


Nishimikado Tami and Tokiwa Machi, from HaNaYaMaTa.

War and Peace and Bare Shoulders

BBC One will be airing their production of War and Peace, because we really needed another one of those, with some rather unexpected casting.  Lily James as Natasha Rostova is hardly surprising, as she’s currently sailing on a cloud of corseted success from Downton Abbey and Cinderella, with Pride and Prejudice and Zombies rolling out next year.  Grantchester’s James Norton twists away from rival blond costume ingenue Holliday Granger (Lucrezia Borgia, Bonnie of Bonnie and Clyde, and Cinderella’s stepsister–not the one played by Daisy by Downton Abbey, the blond one) in Lady Chatterley’s Lover (where he’s the crippled husband, not the hunky gamekeeper, leaving that to Lily James’ Prince Charming from Cinderella, Richard Madden, better known as Robb Stark, but Lily’s getting him back as Romeo to her Juliet for a Branagh play as well, because why the hell not–are you following this?  I haven’t figured out how to make a chart yet) to uniform up as Prince Andrei Bolkonsky (right).  This is honestly the hardest one for me, because James Norton does nothing for me, but I’ve always thought of Prince Andrei as one of the hotties of classical literature.

(Not pictured here:  One of the hotties of classical literature.)

Dweebing his way into this tangled web is Paul Dano as Pierre Bezukhov, who is pretty dweeby, but I still can’t see him as anything but the Nietzsche fanboy brother in Little Miss Sunshine.  Pierre’s always been a lame, boring character, so moving on from him.

Before we get to the costume I really want to bitch about, though, can we have a snicker at Tom Burke (better known as The Musketeers’ Athos), who thought this was a pirate movie?

Arrrrrrr, maties.  How do you say “maties” in Russian?  I have no idea.  Not really known for their piracy, the Russians, although Peter the Great built a fairly badass navy, because Peter the Great.

One more before we get to the main event.

Tuppence Middleton as Pierre’s slutty and manipulative wife, Helene Kuragina, who has strolled in from something set in the early 1930s, when you could still rock a jazzy tiara with a cowlneck slip dress thing.  This is rather a pretty dress, and I suspect Middleton will be able to saunter around in it exactly the way it wishes to be sauntered in.  However, not pictured here:  Napoleonic War fashion.

Okay, here it comes.  

Yes, that is Gillian Anderson.  In either a prom or bridesmaid dress, you pick.  

Which somebody, having heard that Napoleonic War-era fashion was classically influenced and all, threw a chunk of organza around and stuck a cameo on it and called it a day.

Yes, that is a bare shoulder.  In the first picture, you can see how the sleeved side pulls up under the bust, while the sleeveless side sags down, because the prom dress doesn’t fit at all under the bust, and is desperately wriggling around, begging for some support. 

What have we learned here?  We have learned that in an empire waist dress (particularly one cut like this, right under the bust, and going straight to the skirt, with only a seam and no waist embellishment or tape or anything) there is nowhere much to put the rigid structure required to give the girls comfortable baskets, and they get what they can from the dress, because with a ONE-SHOULDERED DRESS you can’t wear a proper set of stays underneath (at this point they still had shoulder straps) to provide historically accurate support.  We have learned that a one-sleeved prom dress does not a War of 1812 costume make.  We have learned that we can’t even rely on the BBC, of all people, to get circa 1812 costumes, of all things, despite the number of Jane Austen productions which must have filled the costume warehouses by now.  We have learned things we definitely did not want to know.

 I saw this post about dorky headcanons about volleydorks and, well, @heyyyfuturefish and I got carried away…

so here.  have some dumb headcanons that really have nothing to do with anything but we found to be wonderful:

  • Daichi has so many shirts that are similar colors and leaves them around his room all the time instead of in a hamper so he has to do the sniff test on them all the time 
  • Iwaizumi always ties his left shoe first
  • Kuroo tries to look fairly badass but he literally only has tswift on his iPod
  • Tanaka has a collection of hair ties (most of them are his sister’s that she lost)
  • Akaashi has rock music and nature sounds on his ipod
  • Suga has like 5 alarms on his phone to get up, In 5 min increments.  Each one has a different alarm sound and increasingly vulgar labels
  • Bokuto made up his own language/code when he was 10.  He still uses it to take notes in class a lot of the time.
  • Noya wakes up at like 3 am every single day for no reason.  No alarms or anything just awake.  Then goes back to sleep.  He then needs an alarm to wake up for practice.  But he’s still an early bird and instantly awake.
  • Iwaizumi owns a version of each generation of Pokémon games.
  • So does Hanamaki.
  • They battle each other all the time.  Iwa always picks fire types.  Hanamaki has a Magikarp named Oikawa.  He never let’s it evolve
  • Almost every single sock that Yaku owns has holes in them
  • Lev has like 8 pairs of gloves and none of them match and they hardly ever fit so most of them have the fingertips cut off
  • Yahaba always forgets his deodorant at home and constantly steals Watari’s
  • Kyoutani absolutely has to stop to pet every dog he sees. If he doesn’t he has really bad days, as if he’s plagued with bad luck
  • Hanamaki has 4 blankets on his bed at all times and sleeps on and around and under them in a tangled mess
reasons i love alphys and undyne

Alphys:

  • is a scientist! she is skilled in robotics and monster biology/magic
  • helps her friends significantly, she made mettaton his body and aided  frisk in their quest in the pacifist run
  • is bisexual, she also had a crush on asgore which lead her to make mettaton to impress him
  • is passionate about her favorite show and rants about it whenever she finds the opportunity to do so
  • is fat and hella cute
  • isn’t “femme” or “butch” she just wears her practical lab coats and her dress on special occasions
  • has trouble coming to terms with bad things she’s done becaus she worries that her friends will turn against her for them, but she overcomes these fears and is brave and honest
  • is crazy in love with undyne

Undyne:

  • is a knight! she has a pure heart and protects the kingdom valiantly
  • selflessly fights until the bitter end to protect the ones she loves
  • enjoys having a very healthy lifestyle but doesn’t force alphys to change
  • is tall and lanky and hella strong, you can sill look “girly” and be a warrior (trust me, i know, i play girls rugby)
  • isn’t “femme” or “butch” she has her practical armor and her at home and date night clothes are collectively fairly feminine and badass. her hair is long but up in a ponytail for practical reasons, and she styles it more for their date but not excessively. she also appears to be wearing red eye shadow all the time if those marks aren’t natural.
  • says she’ll still enjoy anime even if it’s not real for her gf’s sake
  • is loud and funny and doesn’t shrink herself down for anyone
  • :3
  • is crazy in love with alphys

I know you got your percico and your jasico, but hear me out, okay?

Butchico.  Nico and Butch, the son of Iris.

Why?  Welp…

1) Butch already appeared in the books already, so no sudden write-ins.  

2) Both of them are horribly blunt and fairly badass without actually being the same person.

3) Every time they’d do the do, a massive motherfucking rainbow would appear over Cabin 13.

Think about it.

ok so I went to see Ghostbusters last night (fairly enjoyable, badass fight scenes, would watch again) and they were handing out logo pins at the movie theater which I was super excited about so I got like 3 of them. I decided to pin one of them to my backpack, which I wore to the summer camp program I was working with today. 

One of the 8 year old girls saw the little ghost pin and her eyes went wide - “did you see Ghostbusters?!?” and I was like “yeah, wasn’t it awesome?” and she smiled really big and said “yeah it was so cool!” and the girls around her smiled too. this same thing happened multiple times throughout the day when different kids noticed it. I did not hear one kid complain about the movie. 

so anyway who cares if it wasn’t the Cinematic Masterpiece of the Year™ this movie made some little girls happy and that makes me happy too