fairly amusing

Gravity Falls AU

Rather than being twins, Lance and Pidge are best friends who wind up at the Mystery Shack because of Pidge. She’s been searching for cryptids her whole life, and she has a pen pal by the name of Hunk who is constantly sharing all of these stories about his home town and the weird things that go on there. So, directly after graduating high school, the two of them set out to Altea (Gravity Falls).

Pidge here is, obviously, taking the place of Dipper. She’s searching for the abnormal, the mysterious, wants to prove to Lance that things like Bigfoot and aliens do exist. Her older brother Matt went missing when she was just a kid, and she’s convinced something paranormal took him and needs to prove it. He was 16 when he disappeared, she was 8, and he vanished while on his yearly camping trip with some friends in Altea. 

Lance becomes Mabel, obsessed with knitting and boys (and girls) and, even though he is skeptical about all things supernatural (except ghosts, ghosts are totally real), he cares about Pidge a lot and he knows she wants to find Matt. He calls her the little sister he wanted instead of the ones he got (she’s a year younger than him, skipped a grade in middle school, and he stood up for her against a bunch of bullies. They’ve been joined at the hip since). 

Hunk, Pidge’s pen pal in this au, is Soos. He works for the Mystery Shack, so he gets a first hand look at everything that goes on in the woods surrounding the area. He has also just graduated high school and is saving money, taking a skip year before going to college for engineering, and his friend Shiro offered him the job. 

Shiro is replacing Grunkle Stan. Shiro is 25, and he moved up to Oregon after a camping incident that happened when he was just 16 (shocker, same one that made Matt vanish). He’s agreed to take Pidge and Lance in when they get there, seeing as he has an extra room upstairs, so long as they pitch in every now and then. If Hunk trusts them, so does he, but Hunk failed to mention that Pidge was Matt’s sister, so the moment Shiro lays eyes on Pidge he almost passes out, she looks so much like Matt. Pidge doesn’t recognize Shiro, having only met him twice, before he had scars and muscles and a prosthetic (which he got from a nasty encounter with a certain shapeshifter), so he keeps quiet about her missing brother. 

The only other person who works at the Mystery Shack is Keith, taking on the role of Wendy. He has a rocky relationship with his father and brothers and spends most of his time working. He’s fairly chill, irked but amused by Lance’s cheerfulness and Pidge’s enthusiasm. 

Couple of other, minor things:

- Kaltenecker instead of Waddles

- Haggar instead of Bill (lets be honest, she’s the real villain of Voltron)

- Coran as McGucket; his mind was fried a long time ago, but he’s still an incredibly brilliant scientist and inventor, and anyone who sits down and talks to him realizes that he’s actually kind of a genius. 

- There wasn’t really a character that fit Allura super well, so we’ll say she replaces Lazy Susan and owns the diner. She flirts with Shiro every single time he comes in, and can kick ass when necessary. Her father was the former mayor.

- Shiro, unlike Grunkle Stan, isn’t scroogey about his money for greed reasons. He needs it to fund his underground research into what happened to Matt. Of course, he knows; Matt was sucked into a portal directly on top of the property where Shiro built the Mystery Shack. But he needs to figure out how to get him back. 

- Zarkon is a bit of a lesser evil; he’s the shapeshifter that Lance and Pidge find in the bunker under the Shack, and he’s obsessed with getting the journal back. 

- Among the things they run into: Arusians (replacing the gnomes, and slightly less hostile), Luxia, a mermaid stuck in the local pool, a bunch of Galra who attempt to teach Lance about manliness (Manotaurs; cue I’ll Make a Man Out of You sequence with Thace and Ulaz), Nyma, a video game that tries to kill Lance (Giffany), and Balmerans, who they find trapped in the underground sap whatnot after Kaltenecker gets stolen by a pterodactyl (cows belong outdoors, Lance). 

- Keith is a champion at climbing trees, skinning things, and all around being a badass. Lance is more than a little infatuated. 

- Voltron is created when all five of Matt’s journals are brought together, forming a spell that has the ability to defeat Haggar, who drove Matt insane during the camping trip. 

- Pidge constantly thinks the handwriting in the journals looks familiar, but she can’t quite place why.

- Matt started the journals when he and Shiro were 12, when they first started going camping in Altea with their parents, and continued them all up until he was 16, when Haggar started harassing him. He hid four of them around the town, paranoid that someone was going to find them, and entrusted the last one to Shiro before he was swallowed up by the portal. Each of them is marked by a different color on the “V” symbol; the one Shiro has is black, and the one Pidge finds is green. Lance later finds a blue one hidden behind the arcade.

- Sendak becomes Gideon, and he’s found the yellow one. When he’s defeated, Shiro takes that one for himself. 

- Pidge’s symbol remains the pine tree, seeing as she is a nature spirit. Lance, instead of being a shooting star, is a wave, Shiro a bolt of lightning, Keith a flame, and Hunk a mountain. Allura is a flower (shaped suspiciously like a juniberry) and Coran is a wrench. Matt, when he comes back, is the Voltron “V”

- If none of this convinces you: 

Look at this cute doodle by @artsyfalafel of Pidge in Dipper wear and Lance in a mermaid sweater

I’m GMing a campaign for a friend of mine and she’s playing solo. Her elf hunter character is exploring old ruins where and NPC has disappeared, possibly captured. Upon entering the ruin he comes across a group of bandits guarding the first room and manages the charisma roll to approach them without them attacking him on sight. He then starts talking how he’s just a tomb raider looking for easy money. Eventually he asks if he could join the bandits.The leader of the bandits isn’t exactly taking him seriously.

Me (Bandit leader): “You don’t just join my group in a whim. One, I’d need to have a reason to believe I won’t find a blade in between my shoulder blades the second I turn my back. Two, you’d need to have something going on between those pointy ears of yours, of which I’ve yet to see any proof. And three, you’d need to prove you’re actually worth something.”

Hunter: “Well, how do I prove it?”

To sum things up, the bandit leader is honestly getting bored with the assignment to guard the entrance and she thinks this might be a good way to pass the time. So while her band gathers to watch, she tells the hunter she would test his combat skills. They choose to fight without weapons and though the difference in their stats is HUGE (the bandit leader was effectively a mini boss), the hunter manages to land a hit or two. All the while the two characters are doing some snarky banter in the midst of attacks and the hunter rolls charisma every few turns to see if the bandit appreciates his humor. Finally, this happens:

Me: “OK, she sidesteps to dodge your attack and is now right behind you. She’s about to strike you in the back. What do you do?”

My friend: “…I smile as charmingly as I can and hopefully stop her attack for a second or two.”

At this point, I’m losing it and I tell her to roll for it. Charisma is the hunter’s leading stat, but it’s still a very tough roll, as I judge it wouldn’t be easy to stop a bandit boss mid-attack with a freaking smile. But son of a gun, the roll succeeds.

Me: *after taking a moment to calm down my hysterical laughter* “OK, OK… You turn to smile at her with your most charming smile and she freezes out of pure surprise, looking at you like you’ve completely lost your mind.”

My friend: “I know it’s a dick move, but can I roll to punch her now?”

Long story short, yes, her hunter lands a hit. After a few turns, the bandit leader tackles him, fairly amused by not only the fight but also by their banter. So she lets him sit by their fire, he tells the real reason he’s in the ruins and she lets him go on his way on the condition that once he finds the ones who captured the lost NPC, he won’t kill them. Because she still wants the other half of her promised pay. 

And that’s the story of how my friend’s character made friends with bandits. 


Dabb vs cars

Surprisingly, not the next round in my ongoing, bitter feud about his continuity problems. A “I come in peace” study on parking.

I watched 10x09 today and I did the usual OTP “aw they’re so far apart” sad heart feeling at the shot of them all outside Sharkey’s.

No, not Dean n Cas.

The Impala and Pimpmobile.

Anyway it got me thinking about in that moment it represented pretty well how Dean and Cas were doing with each other. Of course there isn’t room to park beside Cas’s car, so Dean goes and parks on the other side of the door, leaving this big gap between them, bigger because there’s a parking mark thingy Cas is about to trip over before the shot abruptly ends. (I hope Misha was okay.) The cars have a clear line of sight to each other, but there’s just something so unutterably sad about there being no way for them to park side by side, per Cas’s parking, and Dean putting that extra space between them. (Also so they can go in the door… I’d say unobstructed but the longer I watch the gif the more I become convinced there’s footage out there of Misha ruining the impression of Cas’s reserved dignity…)

In the context of season 10, where Destiel was at right then was the first time they’d seen each other since 10x03, when Dean cleared his bed for Cas like, thanks for saving me from myself pls make yourself comfy, and Cas freaked out and gabbled some stuff about work and Hannah and such and told Dean to rest up, then fled the scene. Dean is pissed off Cas called for help over trying to deal with Claire (and it kind of looks like making excuses of busywork to not come home, when you flee with an apparently important mission and it turns out you’re wandering around trying to earn back brownie points with your vessel’s daughter, having randomly and abruptly swapped onto a personal mission without telling Dean a word of it) and in general the car placement amused me by seeming to echo how they were doing.

Being me, obviously thinking about that made me start thinking about Dabb, cars, and his old Carver era patterns. He got the one per season (two if we were lucky) Deep Emotional DeanCas Talk, to give us a real, solid moment to show how they were truly doing. 8x08, 9x10, 9x22, 10x09, and 11x10 spring to mind though obviously in other episodes he wrote with them they also still shared some pretty epic emotional moments or there were other strong Destiel things. However he is the one who gave us Cas’s original car, and two of these instances are directly before the Big Talk to tide things over and give us the emotional background for later. I figured some thoughts about some notable Dabb car stuff would be a nice thing to do. After my amused nostalgia run through Carver era moments, I’ve included Dabb era in general and picked out some other moments.

9x10 is the start of all this, once Cas finally gets some wheels of his own. The most interesting set piece barely involves any driving, but is the first time the Impala and Continental are parked beside each other. Like, RIGHT beside. Like, Dean n Cas should be this close to each other all the time. Cas’s car is a step ahead (I mean, I assume so he could get out the door). All episode Dean n Cas are a beautiful emotionally supportive unit, but Dean can’t cope with this, and so he gets in his car and leaves, pulling away from the closeness he’s offered from his family, the thing with the cars being exactly what he did when he walked away from them on the bridge too. I mean, that’s fairly obvious, I’m just amused after I went back to look, HOW closely the two cars were parked, like they wanted Cas’s car in that shot, next to Dean’s, and they’d force the most unrealistic parking job ever when there’s all that unused space around them, to get all the random details into the shot they needed. As a bonus, Dean had to have been the one to park the Impala so close blocking Cas’s car in. Unconscious desire to be so close to him and to keep him? He’s still recovering from asking him to leave.

(I know the Impala and Continental shared space in several end of season 9 episodes but not 9x22 as far as I recall in the earlier parts, and the Worst Dabb Vs Cars Fuckery Of Them All occurs in the final driving moment of that episode, just putting Cas IN the Impala for the drive home despite the fact his car ends up the Bunker at the start of 9x23… That’s a symbolic gesture of what he was trying to convey in the moment of Cas sitting in the back of the car but for the sake of talking about how they park together, useless. I feel like in 9x18 it’s just a reminder Cas HAS the car, and the show doesn’t do anything useful with it to represent Cas…)

Onto 11x10, and honestly my favourite of Dabb’s Dean n Cas chatting scenes because it’s technically pretty superfluous except for the fact he really really wanted a final DeanCas chat before Cas got Casifered, and so he made one heck of a driving continuity snarl to wrangle it. Obviously Cas followed Dean’s longing to his spot because how else… Anyway, he parks a long long way off. In season 11 he’s feeling very distanced from Dean by his anxiety and trauma. This is the epitome of the “I came as soon as you called” behaviour, with Cas dropping everything to come help Dean, and romantic blurring into focus walk aside, the long shot shows us beautifully that Cas is hesitant to approach, and maintaining the distance with Dean. After all the season 10 and early 11 drama between them, including several rounds of mind controlled punch ups, they’re fragile and miserable, and Cas’s last interaction with Dean on screen was an angry and frustrating one. Cas himself bridges the distance betwen them but his car waiting off in the background suggests his reservations, and the rest of the episode spells out everything, before he chooses to do something he thinks will help move their cars closer, as it were.

Entering Dabb era proper, in 12x02 we see Cas’s new truck (still with hay) and Dean pulling up to it. Obviously they’ve got their mission to save Sam, the jokes about Mary being brought along to chaperone their date, etc. But since the car conversation in 11x23 the ball has been in Dean’s court to approach Cas, and I would assume the mythical instance of mixtape giving is somewhere between 12x01 and 12x19; the point is, here, as the first 2 episodes of season 12 in general showed (and Dean in 12x22 confirmed talking about how happy he was to have Cas and Mary back in the same breath), Dean approaches Cas, parking right behind his truck, as a symbol of the confidence and comfort they have now. They work great as a team in this part of the season, although Cas has been standing around by his lonely parked truck waiting for most of the episode up to that point, and is forced to continue standing by the truck for most of the rest of the episode.

12x12 Cas is still in the “I’ll just wait here then” mode, hanging out at their designated meeting place as Sam, Dean, Mary and Wally arrive in a convoy and park on the other side of this parking lot, so he has to come to join them (Dean rotating on the spot as he does so… heh, I love that moment.) By the middle of season 12 Cas has run away to find Lucifer, echoing 10x03’s parting, and also killed for them and invited cosmic consequences, and in 12x10 given a firm well-communicated emotional talk to help him feel included and loved, and yet he also leaves to search for Kelly some more, echoing other times he’s gone off to do a side project and been very much on the outside. Once again he’s waiting for them to catch up, and Dean seems to breeze by him - and there’s so many other people with them (and part of why he left in 12x03 was to give Sam and Dean space with Mary, exclusing himself from the family). In the diner scene Cas has the whole waitress thing to deal with, with Dean acting up around so many people with conflicting needs to perform. Cas has been waiting for an incredibly long time, but if you ever needed a more firm “the ball is in your court” it’s the “I love you” at the end of the episode.

12x19 also has a important “where the cars are placed” sequence, which you could really do with a whole gifset of, but of course the Impala is there because Kelly stole it, and it’s been left off to the side by them; likewise Sam and Dean are left to the side by them as they drive off. Sam and Dean placed the truck before they did that and took it back (and all the stuff about Cas and Dean and fixing the truck in the episode is a whole ‘nother thing)… From this angle it looks ominously like the park in which Dean found Mary, with the lights behind the trees going on - of course night has just fallen rather than the sun coming up, and Cas is driving away from the light. As Dean walked Mary into their lives, newly resurrected, Cas drives out of their lives >.> Between all the stealing cars and rushing into save Cas, the gap between them as they’re parked is obvious and as a result of the circumstances. They’re apart because there’s too much going on, Kelly made off with Cas in the car, and Sam and Dean were helpless chasing after them. The distance and swapping around of cars and using them as part of the chaos is very effective. Cas calmly takes possesion of his truck again, freshly fixed by Dean, but drives off with Kelly. In 12x23 they steal some stock Destiel phrases to exchange, and it’s touching the truck which opens the rift. I had a nose around the outdoors scenes and couldn’t spot Cas’s truck and the Impala even on the same side of the building, and honestly am kind of confused about where the truck went. Not, as I said, that I’m trying to continue the feud with this post. But I mean.

*clears throat*

I’m just saying he ruined the continuity in 12x01 for 12x02 by doing the exact same thing as 9x22 by just not using Cas’s truck when it would make sense to take as many vehicles as they can get their hands on so they could split up… Obviously all the many set pieces to do with cars worked best/could only work if there was just the Impala but it’s all style over function again… So in 12x02 to let Cas split up to help they add an extra day to let him get the truck so he can follow leads and do the legwork, and Mary and Dean end up back at the Bunker, immediately falling back into old static patterns when it would have made so much sense to just have them in a motel NEARBY instead of abandoning their hot trail on finding Sam so Mary could shower… He handed them that excuse on a platter and killed the urgency and Dean n Cas were split up all episode when they could have been at least local-ish to each other and maybe had that phonecall in person and and and… shh Lizzy

Hunted {BTS Mafia!au}

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

Pairing: Yoongi x reader
Genre: BTS mafia au
Warning: angst, smut (at some point), violence, mentions of prostitution/drugs, swearing, other dark themes I can’t think of right now

Writer: Bom

Word count: 1629

Originally posted by emmareader


Y/n wakes up in the head quarters of M.A.D, briefly confronting Jungkook. And finally coming face to face with the handsome leader of M.A.D, Min Yoongi. But can Y/n piece together why Yoongi wanted her so badly?

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Baby Project (Pt. II)

Tyler Joseph Series

Part I

Summary: Two long life enemies, who supposedly hate each other with a burning passion are forced to spend more time than preferred together.

(A/N): Hey party people, I hope you all are doing well. Enjoy x PS there‘s a movie reference hidden in this chapter, hola at me if you know which one 

Words: 744

(Y/N) straightens her posture, takes a deep breath and presses the doorbell. No more than a minute later the door flies open, revealing a shirtless guy. 

“Ms (Y/L/N)“, the brown haired man greets with a hint of ridicule, “To what do I owe the honour of your presence?“ he asks with a smug smirk, casually leaning against the door frame. 

“I need you to take care of the baby“ she answers straightforwardly and presses the object in his hands, catching him off guard; yet he still manages to get a grasp of it. However, the doll immediately wakes up from its slumber and starts crying.

“What no I can‘t-“ Tyler protests while trying to soothe the baby, but gets cut off. 

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It’s my birthday so what better occasion for some Captain Cobra Swan silliness?

“You two are absolutely ridiculous.”

Both Henry and Killian tore their attention from the video game currently on their television at the sound of Emma’s voice. The distraction proved to be fatal; neither one of them could regain their rhythm. “Aww, man!” Henry cried when the game ended abruptly. “Thanks a lot, Mom. I had a good streak going, too!”

As she tucked her phone out of sight of her boys, Emma swallowed a chuckle. She was trying her hardest to appear annoyed by her boys’ choice of activity but she was fairly certain her amusement was clear as day on her face. “This is what you play when you play video games?”

“The control devices for Henry’s other game systems are not made for one-handed pirates, love,” Killian reminded her, somewhat out of breath from his previous effort.

“I get that but this?” Emma threw her hand out in the direction of the television. “This is what you decide to play instead?”

Henry shrugged. “You don’t need hands, just feet.”

“Aye. Although,” Killian interrupted, frowning down at Henry, “I’m not entirely sure what this particular activity has to do with dancing. I know how to dance. This is not dancing. It’s simply stepping rapidly.”

Henry considered his point “Maybe that’s where the ‘revolution’ comes from.”

“Well,” Killian huffed, “there are some revolutions that just shouldn’t be fought.”

That finally did it. Emma busted out laughing.

Always happy to make his Swan laugh, Killian smiled at her. “What’s so funny, love? I don’t suppose you’d be willing to try your hand at this activity. Or your feet, I suppose.”

No, she most certainly was not, thank you very much. In answer to Killian’s question, she held up her phone. Henry, who must have just now figured out what she’d been doing before she interrupted them, grinned. “I was just thinking,” Emma replied, “that I now have the fearsome and debonair Captain Hook on video playing Dance Dance Revolution.”

With a teasing grin on his lips, Killian stepped up to her and plucked the phone from her hand. “Turnabout is fair play, love. It’s only right that I get to record you.”

Emma heaved a mock put-upon sigh. “All right, fine, I guess if I have to.” She turned to a grinning Henry. “Is this the one with ‘Forever Sunshine?’”


“All right.” She turned to Killian and smiled. “Watch and learn,” she said, thanking the heavens for the few years of fake memories and the year of real ones in New York of repeatedly playing this exact game with Henry.

When she was done with the song, Killian was suitably impressed.

The three of them ended up spending the next couple of hours playing, taking turns sitting out and only stopping for good when it was time to get dinner going. Who would have thought that one of the best days Emma would have would involve nothing more than her, her boys, and a ridiculous video game?

anonymous asked:

ohh do you have some of the quotes and references to sexuality that johnny makes in his book please?


  • ‘They were lively nights, and I sat on the floor, watching and listening to handsome men and pretty women rocking as the night got more raucous and the bottle caps flew off.’ (p. 14)
  • ‘If it’s not exactly 100 per cent true that ‘clothes maketh the man,’ then it’s definitely a fact that clothes can maketh the man look a bit more interesting to girls and to other boys too.’ (p. 26)
  • ‘Marc Bolan became my idol. I collected every poster and photo of him I could find, usually from girls’ magazines like Jackie, and I went to the cinema to see his film Born to Boogie. Like George Best and Bruce Lee, Marc Bolan was small, audacious and good-looking, but best of all he was a pop star who played the guitar.’ (p. 28 - 29)
  • ‘Buying ‘Jeepster’ as my first record was a total fluke. It could have worked out differently had it not been for the picture of Bolan and Mickey Finn on the label.’ (p. 29)
  • ‘My friend Tony was a beautiful creature, another Bowie fan, with a blonde Ziggy haircut, high cheekbones, and green eyes like a Siamese cat. He wore red Oxford bags with white platforms and a black harrington jacket. Tony was three years older than me and was the first guy I knew who was openly gay.’ (p. 43 - 44)
  • ‘We were together a lot, and it got some people talking, which didn’t bother me at all - we had a lot of things in common and plenty to talk about. The two of us were in Piccadilly Gardens one Saturday afternoon just after I’d had my hair cut. We were waiting at the bus stop when two big uglies with north Manchester accents came over and started making cooing noises and blowing kisses. I looked at Tony’s face as he continued talking to me, and I could see he was aware of the situation. ‘Eh,’ said one of the lads, ‘are you queers?’ They were obviously up for a fight. I readied myself for the inevitable as Tony continued to talk to me with his back to the goons and appeared to be ignoring their remarks until one pushed him in the back and said, ‘Eh, y’fuckin’ queer.’ With that, Tony grabbed my head and kissed me on the lips for what seemed like a very long time, then spun around and attacked the biggest of the two with really hard punches to the face until the lad went on to his knees. He then grabbed the other guy, who was backing off, punched him very hard in the face and threw him down into the road full of traffic. I thought the guy was going to be killed, and as we ran off towards the train station Tony turned to me and said, ‘That was nice’ and then, laughing, he added, ‘Don’t worry, I won’t do it again.’
    On the train home in my platforms and Budgie jacket, I looked at Tony and thought about ‘All The Young Dudes’: ‘Now Lucy looks sweet ‘cause he dresses like a queen. But he can kick like a mule, it’s a real mean team.’ I loved the song, and there was no doubting it, pop music was for me and my friends.’ (p. 44 - 45)
  • ‘John’s hair was always tinted some shade of blue, red or green, and unusually for the times he was very ‘out’ as a young gay man, in a way that was brave and inspiring.’ (p. 123)
  • ‘[The Smiths, for their first gig] also planned to do a song by the girl group The Cookies, called ‘I Want a Boy for My Birthday’, which I realised would send out a message that not only didn’t bother me but which I was fairly amused by and quite excited about.’ (p. 132 - 133)
    (You can listen to a demo of I Want a Boy for My Birthday that Morrissey and Johnny recorded in Johnny’s bedroom in 1982 here!)
  • ‘Morrissey had suggested that for the gig we invite his friend James Maker to introduce us. I didn’t know James, but I thought that being introduced for our first show sounded good, and when I discovered that he would be wearing high-heeled stiletto shoes while he did it, I liked the idea even more.’ (p. 136)
  • ‘I stood with Marilyn, the so-called gender-bending pop prince, who was on before us. I couldn’t work out if he was nervous or aloof; he seemed to be both. We were looking at each other, but we didn’t speak. Maybe he thought we were provincial nobodies. I couldn’t tell. What I did know was that his record wasn’t very good but he looked totally gorgeous.’ (p. 188)
  • ‘I liked living in Earls Court. It was good being able to walk around the streets at all hours, and it was good that I liked being around Australians and gay guys too, as Earls Court in 1984 was swarming with backpacks and leather vests.’ (p. 201)
  • ‘There was a whole generation of American boys who were dissatisfied with the model of masculinity they had been expected to conform to and that was irrelevant and totally out of date. They saw in the British bands a way of being that was anti-macho and pro-androgyny, where the question of whether you were gay or straight didn’t matter at all.’ (p. 222 - 223)
  • ‘[Billy Bragg] came to my studio and liked the track [Johnny had been working on], and over the next few days we made the single ‘Sexuality’, with me producing. It was a great pop song with brilliant lyrics.’ (p. 310)

I think there are actually a few more, but those are the ones I tabbed!

anonymous asked:

Yesterday, my friend told me to put my seatbelt on, but I turned and told him "seatbelts are for people that don't wanna get hit by a car" and he replied by slowly removing his seatbelt. This is why we've been friends for 7 years.

i find this fairly amusing lmao and relatable ;)))

- azen

“I had a fun time with you“

(A/N): FYI (Y/I) stands for (Your/Initials), Enjoy x also, i have not proofread this yet i apologise 

Words: 1,845

Originally posted by jcsephsdun

“The anonymous street artist (Y/I) strikes once again…“

As soon as the familiar name is mentioned his attention is immediately drawn to the television. Apparently the mysterious person, who has been leaving several paintings all over the city, has almost been caught yesterday during the process of creating another masterpiece. Since the cops were incapable of catching hold of them, the anonymous artist has once again slipped through their fingers. 

Josh has been fascinated by their work from day one. Even though each portrait has its own individual interpretation, all of them hold the same message, which could be defined as diverse, observant, equaled and human. The country itself has been taken over by republicans, after being governed democratically for eight years. A lot of insurrections and turmoils have surfaced ever since the new president has been elected. (Y/I) paintings are often responses to countrywide but also citywide political occurrences, representing their own personal opinion, which should frankly speak to every person who has a slightly sense of humanity. In the eye of publicity their performance is seen as some act of rebellion, since the art pieces are mostly against the decisions and choices made by the new government. 

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kazuhikonaori  asked:

Senpai!! You know I love Aomine, right?~ so how about scenario of him, his wife and their son go to Disneyland for their kid's first vacation and wear that disney headbands, when his wife go somewhere and left their son with Aomine, a group of teenage girls saw Aomine and son and fangirling over them? Hope this is not too detailed lmao. Thank you so muchhh

Of course I know how much you love Aomine! A lot of you do! I hope you enjoy the fluff!

How long does it take for you to use the bathroom?

Aomine makes a face, holding his little boy in his arms as his eyes scour the entire place. He wishes he knew some English, so he could ask some of the passing people if you’d been seen.. It’s not that he didn’t want to be here..

But the giggling from behind makes him uncomfortable and turn several  shades of red.

‘Isn’t he the cutest thing?’

‘Is that his son? They’re wearing matching ears! So cute!!’

‘Do you think they’ll get a picture with us?’

‘Are you crazy? I doubt they will, plus look at him! You can tell he’s a foreigner!’

‘Who cares?! He’s insanely hot!’

He continued to fidget in his spot, though most of the attention he was receiving was because of his son..  It didn’t matter.. If he knew English better, he’d be able to understand what they’re saying.. Instead it comes out in pieces.. and it makes him confused and baffled.


He breathes a sigh of relief when you come running, baby carrier flapping around with your movements. He’s quick to stand, handing you the smaller boy, who seems fairly amused by the entire situation, helping you strap him in before pulling you away.

“We’re leaving.”

“W…What? But Dai-chan-!”

“No buts ____. It’s hot and too much sun will hurt him.. We should go back.”

You make a motion to speak, but shut your mouth, eyes downcast. You barely notice the small group of teenagers, who continue to chatter and whisper amongst themselves. When you look back at him, you notice his cheeks are red, and you only sigh, frowning at his childish behaviour.

“You just don’t want to be around those girls..”

At your words, he suddenly stops, whirling around to look at you, surprise in his eyes.


“It’s obvious Daiki.. They like you AND our son! But you’re not used to the attention.. It makes you uncomfortable being here because you don’t know what they’re saying…” you huffed, holding your son and walking around him.

“If you didn’t want to come here, you could’ve just said so.. Or paid more attention during English.”

He moves to stop you, but he can tell you’re upset, so he sighs, running a hand through his hair. He wishes there was something he could do.. Something he could say.. because he did like being here.. But he’s not Kise.. He can’t handle all this attention…

He finally stops you, pulling you into a hug when you reach a tree, giving him some privacy, although it’s not enough.. He rubs your back, trying hard to think of the right words to say.. 

“I.. I didn’t mean to upset you…” he mumbles, feeling his cheeks burn, “I…If you want.. We can stay a bit longer… But I’m taking the ears off! They’re itchy, hot and I’m worried my head is going to have a weird mark because of it!”

You blink, finding yourself giggling at his words, pulling him into a soft kiss, before taking them off, placing them in your backpack.

“Fine.. But after this, we’re getting a family photo with the three of us wearing them!”

He knows there’s no sense in arguing, so he nods, finding his mind relaxing just a little.

“Also, I’ll allow you to flirt with your little fangirls for a bit too.. But your son is staying with me..” you walk away, ignoring his gaping face, “Just don’t spend all day gawking at them, because this is a family event. You’re part of it.”

“… I… I wasn’t planning on doing that… Oi! ____!! Wait for me!!”

In the background, you could hear the girls giggle once more, only this time, about how adorable the three of you were as a family.

Lips And Tongue

Can you do one where everyone , including the main character (can her name be devyn?) thinks that jaime preciado hates her but he actually is in love with her and has smut?? Thanks!

So, I’ve been off for a while. I started this some time ago and had nothing to do for a little while so I finished it. Please give me compliments so I feel the need to write more. Here you go. -Love, Kaila 

You laughed out loud as you put your beer down. Vic just told a great joke, though you couldn’t tell if the joke was really that great, or if you were just to drunk to notice it wasn’t. You looked around the bus, every member of Pierce the Veil was sitting on the couch getting drunk out of their minds. You’d known both Mike and Vic for the better part of your life and they were like brothers to you.

„Can you please stop doing that?” Jaime turned to you with an annoyed expression on his face.

„What?” You laughed sheepishly as you turned to Jaime and gave him a bit of a confused look.

„Just stop laughing, I hate the sound you make.” He replied.

Your smile faded and you shared a look with Mike.
Mike looked like he was quite unhappy with Jaime’s remark, nevertheless he didn’t think it was his duty to tell him off. You and Mike had had a conversation about Jaime the day before. You’d always known that you weren’t one of Jaime’s favorite people, however, lately he had been just plain horrible to you. Mike told you he had no idea why Jaime was acting this way, he said that if you wanted his attitude to chance, you’d have to stand up to him. Mike wasn’t going to do anything about it. Except maybe joke about how Jaime secretly liked you.
Jaime noticed your face, smirked and leaned back. He looked amused and fairly happy with himself. You noticed Vic raising an eyebrow. Obviously you had talked to him about jaime too. His reply was about the same as his brothers, you had to confront him yourself.
And then again, why shouldn’t you stand up to him. You’ve got nothing to lose.

„You know what Jaime?” You said, surprised by your determent tone of voice.

„Oh, it talks.” Jaime stated with another smug smirk.

„Why are you always so horrible to me?” You asked him, slightly raising your voice as you sat up, straightening your back.

Jaime didn’t respond, he just stared at you. From your eyes to your lips to your chest. Why were you even waisting words on this fucking pig. You got up and raised your middle finger at Jaime.

„Fuck you. Just don’t fucking talk to me again.” You said before leaving the bus.

Great move, you really thought this through. Leaving the bus, your only place to sleep. Then again the bus had to leave at some point and you knew it wouldn’t leave without you. So you’d probably be the reason they were going to miss their next show or something. Of course you could just set your pride aside and go back in, just try to ignore Jaime. However, you weren’t that good at setting your pride aside. You turned around, wanting to walk back to the bus.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. You had no idea where you were. Fuck. Nothing looked familiar. You’d just been looking at your own feet, not at all at your environment. You checked your pocket, for your phone. Fuck. No phone. You must have left it back on the bus.

„(Y/n)?” You heard a familiar voice behind you, you turned around again. Just to see Jaime standing there, with your phone in his hand.

„Just what the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” You asked.

„(Y/N)…” He sighed. „I- I…”

„You what? If you’re here to insult me some more I suggest you fuck off.”

„You know what?” Jaime said and he took some steps towards you. „Fuck it.”

He kissed you. That was the last thing you’d expected him to do. And the most surprising part to you was the fact that you kissed him back. As you kissed, your bodies got closer. Closer and closer until his hand was on your lower back and your hands were on his chest and shoulder. His tongue entered your mouth and he placed a second hand on your butt. You felt yourself getting wet already.
Oh shit. You wanted Jaime. You really wanted Jaime.
The kiss intensified, everything suddenly became so much more passionate. Jaime pushed you up against a brick wall. His hands ran up and down your body as your hands rested on his hip, the other tugged his belt, pushing his lower body against yours. Jaime slapped your ass, you felt him smile.
He broke the kiss, you saw each other for the first time since you kissed. Jaime had really pretty eyes. You could just get lost in them. He flashed you a gorgeous smile.

„I’m sorry.” He suddenly said. You didn’t know how to reply. You just looked at him.

Your eyes focused from his eyes to his lips. You just wanted to kiss him, you wanted to be as close as possible to him. So you kissed him again. This time he slid his hand down and undid your shorts, you felt his hand go into your shorts. He rubbed you through your panties. His touch felt so good. You moaned into his mouth.
He grabbed your thighs and lifted you up against the wall. You undid his belt. God, you wanted him.
A car drove by. It hit both you and Jaime that you were outside, anyone could see you. Granted, this wasn’t a really crowded area, but still.

„You wanna go somewhere a little bit more private?” Jaime asked, playing with your hair.

„I’d love to.” You replied as you grabbed the hand that was playing with your hair, gave him one kiss and walked in the direction you had thought the bus was. You felt Jaime move in the other direction and still being pretty buzzed, you almost fell over. He caught you and laughed.

„It’s this way, dork.” Jaime flirted.

„Screw you I was lost anyway.”

„Well then I guess you’re lucky I found you.”

„I guess so.”

You walked hand in hand, back to the bus. Jaime lightly pushed you up against one of the equipment vans and kissed your neck. The kissing got rougher fast and you were sure there were quite some hickeys on your neck at this point already.

„Jaime…” You said, he groaned as he kept kissing your neck. You took a deep breath, making your chest swell a little. „I don’t want to do this in your bunk.”

The kisses stopped and Jaime looked at you with one of those ‚fuck I haven’t thought about that’ looks. Now you just missed the kisses.

„Wait I have an idea.” He smiled. „Don’t move your sexy ass.” He grabbed your ass before he ran off.

You heard the bus doors open, but you weren’t really wondering what he was gonna get from the bus. Now you just missed Jaime. His presence, his warmth, just him. You sighed and leaned against the bus. This, whatever it was, it was really happening.
You heard footsteps approaching, Jaime came back, he had keys in his hand. He held them in front of your face and shook them. He took your hand and led you to the back of the van where he opened the door.
There was a big case inside, probably for some type of fancy equipment the band would just end up throwing across the stage like they could easily afford a new one if anything went wrong. However, what was inside that case, it didn’t matter. What did was what was happening on top of it, right that moment.
Jaime took your shirt off and pushed you down on the case. He got on too and closed one of the doors to the van, the other was left open just a tiny bit so you could get out eventually. He took his own shirt off and kissed you as you undid your bra and tossed it aside.

„You’re sure you wanna do this right?” He asked, not wanting to take advantage of the fact that you were tipsy.

„I do. Do you?”

„Hell yeah.” He replied, kissing your neck again.

He made his way down slowly, kissing and sucking on your collar bones as one of his hands massaged your nipple. He kissed down until his mouth was on your other nipple, slowly sucking and biting a little. You felt his tongue slide down your stomach until he reached your shorts. He tore them off and kissed you over your panties.

„You’re so wet, is that all for me?” He bit his lip.

His hand teasingly rubbed circles around your clit. You were a moaning mess underneath him. He slowly pulled your panties down, you felt his hot breath on your center. It felt so good. But not nearly as good as his tongue, licking your clit and his fingers, slowly pumping in and out of you, curling up inside you exactly in the right way. It made you want to come instantly.

„Just fuck me.” You moaned, you couldn’t take it anymore, you needed him inside of you.

„What’s that, sweetie?” Jaime replied with a naughty smile. You knew he heard you.

„Please fuck me, Jaime.” You said, louder this time, but not too loud. There could be people around.

„As you wish.”

You heard him pull his pants off faster that humanly possible. Without any warning, he was inside of you.

„Fuck you’re tight.” He groaned. Jaime kissed you again as he picked up the pace quite a bit. He put your legs over his shoulders and thrusted in and out of you roughly. You moaned a little bit louder with every single thrust as you felt yourself getting closer and closer.

„Shit, I’m gonna come.” You said, fairly out of breath. Jaime just smiled as his thrusts got slower and sloppier. You came as he filled you up and rode out his high. Your nails dragged across Jaime’s bare back while you were still on cloud nine due to the best orgasm you’d had in ages.

„Well, I’m glad we worked this out.” Jaime smiled as he pulled his pants back up. You just smiled back at him.

„Here’s your shirt, and your cute little shorts.” He handed you your clothes. „I can’t seem to find your bra.”

„Fuck it.” You jumped up, after quickly putting your clothes back on, out of the van. Jaime pulled his shirt on and got up too. He kissed your softly.

„You’re so beautiful, you know that.” He whispered while tucking your hair behind your ear. Again you didn’t reply, you just smiled. Jaime wrapped his arm around your waist and you walked back to the bus.

„It’s getting pretty cold, maybe you should sleep with me tonight.” He winked at you.

„Maybe I should, I don’t want to catch a cold you know.” You casually replied.

„Exactly.” The door opened and you walked to the bunks. „Though you’d still be beautiful if you did catch one.”

Everybody was asleep.

You fell asleep with your head resting on Jaime’s chest that night. Mike had been right, about confronting Jaime and about the secret liking part. This night turned out weird, but really, really great.

„I’m sorry for how I acted, (Y/N).” Jaime’s sleepy voice whispered. „I just don’t know how to act around you, because, I think I might love you.”

You fell asleep with a big smile on your face.


When you were dressed like this, your hair flowing freely, spilled over your shoulders, a golden coronet adorning the crown of your head, Eomer almost mistook you for another fair maiden and certainly not the valiant warrior who rode to war by his side.

Eomer: You fought valiantly, Lady Y/N, the Little Sun.

A blush crept your cheeks, you had thought had been left in Rivendell where it should have stayed there. You inwardly winced at the mere memory of it and the one other person in this room that would call you that. You knew the likes of Eomer, he was honest to a fault, but he is also kind, wise, amongst many other things.

Y/N: No more than you did, it was an honor, fighting alongside the Riders of Rohan.

Eomer: You’re more than welcomed anytime to come stay in Rohan, my lady. Of course to stay in Rohan as my lady would be preferred.

As he said so, he raised your hand to his lips to place a kiss on your knuckle. It’s not very often did you get tongue tied in fact you can’t for the life of you remember the last time you stumbled for the proper words, you had always been eloquent.

A tipsy Legolas and a fairly amused Aragorn observed as the scene unfolded before them, seing Y/N as bundle of nerves before the epitome of chivalry, Lord Eomer.

Legolas: Has she had too much ale? Her cheeks has turned scarlet. Is that not a sign of being intoxicated?

Aragorn: It’s a diffrent kind of ale my friend, intoxicated all the same.

Eomer: Will you not consider this Lady Y/N, as I pledge myself to you?

Aragorn’s was impressed at how quick Eomer had progressed. The Elf laughs, watching on as Y/N had been reduced to hiding her face in her hand from embarrasment.

Aragorn: Well, Lord Eomer truly doesn’t waste any time. Perhaps we ought to rescue her from Lord Eomer before she swoons, yes?


Last night at the baseball game a couple of older girls were doing cartwheels and Scotty Joe has now made that his life mission to figure out how to do that lol. It’s fairly amusing to watch because he’s too small so he just kind of tries to throw himself around without actually getting off the ground. 

TalesFromRetail: Let me get my board stretcher

I worked at a large regional home improvement store in college. I worked in the yard outside, helped people load up their lumber, siding and stock and clean everything.

One day during the summer, someone comes up to me and we have the following conversation:

Me: hey there, what can I help you with

Customer: I bought 2 2x4x14 (14 ft 2x4s) inside, but can you cut them down to 2 10’s and an 8?

Me: thinking what I should say to this person… I can cut them down to 2 10’s and 2 4’s…?

Customer: oh, never mind

I was a bit too stunned by the question to have more fun with it, but the customer wasn’t thinking at all. It was kind of funny.

I think the customer may have gotten what I said and asked to swap them for the boards they mentioned but I don’t remember for sure. Thought it was fairly amusing, my coworkers did too.

I’ve got some other stories from there too. It was fun times for a couple years there.

By: analyticgamer

title: tempest in a teapot

relationships: jaykyle, side dickroy, batfam

summary: bruce may be just a little biased when it comes to his children dating people associated with his not-friends. (it’s not a good kind of a bias.)

a/n: listen idk what it is. just take it? happy late holidays, i guess

[on ao3]

By the time Bruce gets home, he’s already having a pretty nasty headache. And he has a feeling it’s only going to get worse.

He’s in his study when Alfred comes in with tea, as requested. Bruce takes off his reading glasses and puts them down on the newest Wayne Enterprises contract he’s been checking through. He carefully observes his butler as he speaks up in a low, even voice, “Did you know.”

Alfred, seemingly unphased, just arches one brow at him. “About what, sir?”

“Who Jason has been seeing recently,” Bruce says, slowly breathing through his nose. “As in. Dating, I suppose,” he clarifies, probably needlessly. Alfred watches him in a way that tells Bruce he’s fairly amused because of his obvious internal struggle.

“That would be Kyle Rayner, I suppose,” Alfred answers nonchalantly after a beat. Bruce does his best to glare.

Keep reading

Time Clash, Chapter 8

Ruby started to chuckle in response. “You actually parked a space ship in the middle of London and no one noticed it?” she asked him, laughing, “I’ve realized that you think humans are thick, but we’re not actually that thick.”

“Oh?” the Doctor scoffed and there was a smile on his face as he looked down at her that Ruby thought looked fairly amused. “What if I told you you’ve already seen my ship?”

In reply she frowned at him and thought back to a few hours earlier. No, it couldn’t be. “It’s not that police box, is it?” she enquired, trying not to let her disappointment show, “Because if it is, I better call Sarah and ask her to let me back into the flat. I’m not sleeping in a cupboard. Besides, it’s made out of wood.”

Read on AO3 or FF.net