failure and regret

Saturn And Fears [Survey Results]
  • Here are the results of my Saturn survey, where I asked for your Saturn sign and house and what your biggest fear was!
  • *Some Saturn signs are very rare, as Saturn changes once every 2 1/2 years, which makes results less variable. All answers are generalized when possible because of them being specific much of the time and repeat a lot.
  • Saturn In Aries: Loss, failure, isolation
  • Saturn In Taurus: Losing stability, not being able to be financially stable
  • Saturn In Gemini: Not being heard, public speaking, being alone, dependence
  • Saturn In Cancer: Being unsuccessful, disappointing others
  • Saturn in Leo: Not being accepted, not being significant, being forgotten
  • Saturn In Virgo: Not being able to help, trusting others completely
  • Saturn In Libra: Not finding love, being alone, being left behind
  • Saturn In Scorpio: Not being loved, being betrayed/manipulated
  • Saturn In Sagittarius: Not having freedom, not being worthwhile
  • Saturn In Capricorn: Failure, regrets, financial instability
  • Saturn In Aquarius: Being misunderstood, not being loved
  • Saturn In Pisces: Being stuck in bad situations, manipulation, being abandoned
  • Saturn In The 1st: Losing everything, being alone, not being enough
  • Saturn In The 2nd: Financial instability, not being able to provide, homelessness
  • Saturn In The 3rd: Failure in education, being misunderstood, no one to talk to
  • Saturn In The 4th: No financial support, debt, losing family,
  • Saturn In The 5th: Not finding love, not being able to create, loss of true self
  • Saturn In The 6th: Dependence, not being successful
  • Saturn In The 7th: Not finding a stable relationship, not finding love, being alone
  • Saturn In The 8th: Betrayal, manipulation, emotional closeness, sexual assault
  • Saturn In The 9th: Not finding purpose, being forgotten, having regrets
  • Saturn In The 10th: Living life without meaning, being alone, not being successful
  • Saturn In The 11th: Being used by friends, being alone, not being accepted
  • Saturn In The 12th: Karma, being exposed, abandonment, loss of memory
What’s holding me back? Guilt. Feeling unlovable. Feeling lovable but only to an extent, only on the surface. A lot of insecurity. Fear of how I come off to others. Fear of not being a lady or not being girly enough. Wondering if they think of me as often as I think of them. Wondering if he remembers as much about our relationship as I do. Fear of my future and not having found my passion just yet. Fear of failure. Regret. Self-doubt. Major trust issues. Lack of self-worth. Not being able to believe that I’m deserving. Worry. Constant anxiety about my family and their hardships. Constant. Fear. What’s holding you back?

We might not have been able to set up this favorable situation the way we did. Failures and regrets are part of being alive. What’s truly important is what actions you take next.

You’ve had the Late-Night Regret Twitch: to mourn over why we couldn’t have just done better. There are defining moments in the past where we think, “I should’ve went to that city. I should’ve gotten that job. I never should’ve dated her. I wish I could un-meet him.”

My dear friend: If you’ve really messed it up, I don’t believe you can “fall off” God’s Will. I don’t believe that God’s Will could be a fixed straight line. I don’t think God ever says, “Well, you fell off the track so good luck in the ditch for the rest of your life.”

Many earnest Christians assume that this relationship or this job or this house is the one that God really has for them, so they invest their entire heart into these things. But at any moment, our idea of the future can be upturned. We see it happen all the time. Did that mean God had it coming for them? Does that mean they’re now out of line with God’s Will and they need to claw for their dream again?

When I read Scripture, I see that most of the biblical characters had to change choices on the fly. They would run into a dead end, back up, and start again. They spent years in circles. Sometimes God would reveal what to do next; other times they would just pack up and start walking. Their lives were flexible. They didn’t have one specific dream. They did mess up, a lot. I’m sure they had tons of Late-Night Regret Twitching. I’m sure, like us, they often thought, “It’s too late for me.” But in hindsight, the very interruptions and unforeseen circumstances in their lives were part of God’s Plan A. Every wrinkle in their story was a new doorway. And God’s Will, in the end, wasn’t so much about what they were doing, but the kind of person they were becoming. The destination was important, but the journey was the pulse that beat their hearts.

—J.S. Park | Mad About God

Tokyo Ghoul Chapter 16 vs :re Chapter 120 Parallel

We have Touka using similar words as Yoshimura (after she finds out about Fueguchi Ryouko’s fate at the hands of Mado Kureo).

These are words in which she had reacted to with anger (very much alike Akira during this chapter):

And I like how the same words Touka was unable to fully accept back then as they prodded and reminded her of her failure and regrets in relation to protecting her parents, she is now able to use to try to give advice and peace of mind (and bridge the gap via understanding based on similar experience) to someone who lived in much of the same emotional turmoil.

Touka has truly grown into her role as the Manager of :re!


Words: 3941

Pairing: Jimin x reader

Genres: Angst/fluff

AO3 version

Summary: Before we could go back to being the best of friends, I had to only think of him as a friend. So this resulted in avoiding him for two weeks until he caught me in a club, backing me to a wall, and wanting answers that I stubbornly refused to give. I love him, but he shouldn’t need to know that, right?

The music drifted out of the club like a vibrating pulse. I could feel it in my bones. The night was alive with possibility. I could even imagine myself floating through the sea of people, forgetting about the life I’ve lived up till now but mostly forgetting about him.

Once I walked through the entryway of what I viewed as freedom, I immediately wished the sea of people would drift me right back out, or better yet, drown me.  

There he was.

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YUZU DAYS, 6 March 2017.
Reason for evolution “Heading for greater heights”

Olympic champion, current world records holder, 1st person with 4 consecutive GPF victories, Yuzuru Hanyu says, “I am still far from the skate that I am aiming for.”  Not content with the present situation, Hanyu continues to strive towards greater heights. 

I really hate to lose. I absolutely want to win all competitions and I don’t want any kind of regretful feelings. Even during training, on days that I cannot jump well, I feel that I have lost to myself and I will be very frustrated. I cannot help it.  (I’m) already the extreme type of ‘hate-to-lose’. [laughs]

My 'hate-to-lose’ is not just about the win and loss of a competition. When I make a mistake, I have lost to myself who have not grown. When I decide that I want to do this performance, it has to be that performance, I will think that way. Even if I can do it, I am very uncompromising (t/n. or rigid or stubborn) and so until now there has hardly been any time when I felt satisfied.  But failure and frustrated/regretful (kuyashii) feelings are a certain kind of experience. Because there is failure, so there can be reflection;  frustration and regret can also become (coils of) springs. I think that’s why I can keep moving forward.

Figure skating has many components like jumps, spins and steps; it requires not just skating skills but also expressive skills. It is a sport that is extremely multi-faceted. If there is one part that is not going well, there are other parts that can be stretched. For example, if you are not making much progress in jumps, you can polish up steps, spins or expression; there are many areas that you can grow in, if you search for it. As long as you don’t fix your own limits, there is no end to how much you can grow / improve. Further on ahead, with more years of age, even if jumps cannot be done anymore, expressive abilities can be refined, so it can become better in a different sense. When I think of this, there is still a lot more that I can evolve. This is why I think figure skating is so interesting.

Figure skating is a sport that is done by one person on the ice, but the bigger the competition, the bigger the group of people that supports that one competitor. Until I finally reach the ice, there are people who help to get my body ready, the coaches who teach me, and the people in the team. Then there is my mother who supports me in everything from daily life to competitions, and also everyone who sends me cheers at the venue. Heading towards the same direction, all these people are competing together with me. I have the feeling of competing in a team. And because I can feel that I am not alone and everyone is here for me, I can focus, I can work hard and do my best. To all the people who support me, I am truly grateful.

Translated by me.
Source: P&G,

My past translations of YUZU DAYS:  HERE

It is the future. I’m living my life to the fullest, having enjoyed every second of my retirement. I sit back in my reclined high class series alpha PC red/black gaming chair custom designed with logos of previous works I once dedicated my life to. In my hand I swirl a cup of watered down Kubanskaya with slices of pineapple, honeydew melon, cantaloupe, ice, and a couple of grapes that I have yet to realize are not Seedless. I watch the world outside my 4K window, which is really not a window but a very good TV. My kids, now grown, suddenly enter the room, uneasy and a little confused and distraught. I ask what is wrong. My daughter steps forward with her custom Horde/Zerg inspired design inscribed on her tablet she got on her birthday, and turns it to show me a picture I had not seen in many long years. “Dad, what’s Warlords of Draenor?” she asks me. I gape. I drop my drink, but the cup does not shatter, as it was in one of my four plastic limited edition World of Warcraft cups I have treasured for many long years. My only failure. My only regret. Warlords of Draenor. The one thing I never thought I would have to explain. I thought the expansions that followed it would help people forget. My children stare at me expectantly. My spilled drink has attracted ants. My TV shut off. My daughter’s tablet’s screen timer has timed out and the screen is dark now. I sit back in my seat with a sigh, but the reinforced nylon base that is supposed to hold me up has had enough of my foolery, and it snaps, and I fall into my spilled drink. My grapes are not seedless.

Accurate Typing: Tertiary Temptation

Read the full Function Theory Guide ( for more detail, including notes about common typing issues.

The tertiary function produces much of the variation among individuals of the same type because it is often used very inconsistently due to its lower position in the stack. Tertiary behaviors are likely to contradict generic type descriptions, and how the function manifests largely depends on a person’s level of psychological and emotional development. There is not much official literature about tertiary functions specifically, so I have taken the liberty to piece together expert details with my own extrapolations/research below.

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Silence in the Sorrow

between sobbing cries,
all she asked was why,
wasn’t she good enough,
how did they both collapse,
where did they fail?

he dug absently at a nail,
balled his fists, and stared,
numb, impotent flailing, 
nothing but the quiet lived,
everything of value died.

he could’ve said anything,
but it would mean he lied,
instead, he stood in the doorway,
turned from her, and faded away,
sometimes grief has no answer.

My mistake wasn’t meeting you. I would never regret that. 
My mistake wasn’t letting you go. I had to, you wanted to leave. I can’t keep you here. 
But now my mistake is remembering you when I promised myself I would forget you.
—  Acac