fails as usual

While rehearsing at SNL, I often wonder, “WWID?” or “What would I do?” because the answer isn’t always clear. I want to do things “the right way” and make everybody happy, but when I do, I usually fail. I’ve generally done better when I tried to ignore how I think something “ought” to be done and just listened to the bizarre little worm that lives in the apple of my heart. Be still and listen to the worm—unless it’s telling you to do something illegal.
—  Kate McKinnon, occasional lifeguide
3

He’s gonna die

Back to the otp prompts. Day 15: first kiss. Bear is a Shoot shipper #2 (#1 is the Machine, obviously). I actually wanted to draw That Scene In The Stock Exchange for this prompt, because I’m a heartless bitch that lives for drama, but remembered about that half through drawing this one, so I decided to stick with it. 

Why the Zodiac Signs don’t reply to your texts.

Aries: Taking pictures with the highest aesthetic level in the world or they’re baking the cutest mini cookies, each with a special theme, to give to all of their friends on special occasions.

Taurus: Living their second life that no one knows about or excelling, at like, 100 sports at the same time because they’re just THAT good.

Gemini: Not in the mood for anyone when they’d rather be screaming song lyrics at the top of their lungs or they’re busy making sushi.

Cancer: Ignoring you because you left them on read so their feelings are hurt (very badly). They’re trying to give you a taste of your own medicine (usually fails at this) or they’re busy crying because life has hit them hard.

Leo: Either sleeping till 2 in the afternoon or just scrolling on Tumblr without any self control to stop.

Virgo: Busy cuddling with their thousands of pets and would rather nap with all of them than deal with the stress of life or they’re out travelling the world.

Libra: They’ll always reply to your texts within a matter of minutes because they’re never seen without their cellular device.

Scorpio: Making plans to fight a b**ch or going out to party till the cows come home!

Sagittarius: They’re carrying too much food and too busy eating it or they just want to be alone (and eat) than do anything else.

Capricorn: Living that no wifi life at home and there’s no way they’d waste their data on messages, it needs to be saved to look up memes or they’re just gone ??? no one knows where they go ???

Aquarius: Sleeping, sleeping and some more sleeping. Also on Tumblr.

Pisces: Out on an extravagant date with their significant other or watching videos that make no sense but it drags them into an endless spiral.

tfw the raging migraine you didn’t realize you were suffering through flips off like a switch and it’s like, hey, wait, that’s why I was so upset and grumpy and nervous and incoherent and unable to sleep and in so much pain for the last 36 hours.

Wow. Hi. Good morning. Afternoon. I feel like I blinked and everything just snapped into HD around me. There’s a little bird singing outside my window. What the heck.

3

I like you. As long as your heart’s strong, I’ll follow you. But if I think your heart’s weak even for a moment, I’ll take over your body. My name’s Asuramaru. Call my name when you need my power. Open your eyes, make your strong desire stronger, and open up a new path to the world, Yuichiro Hyakuya.

Aight I'm going to redo this orchestra post listen up
  • Violin I: BEHOLD. I can lean forwards and backwards repeatedly while moving my bow dramatically up and down some strings.
  • Violin II: *trying to copy Violin I but failing*
  • Viola: usually looks very comfortable and content. Generally satisfied.
  • Cello: Angst. Pain. Despair. And that's just the opening chord. Get ready for a bumpy ride into 5th position on the A string my friends.
  • Double Bass: tries to pluck strings harder in pizzicato so as to be heard. Fails. Cries.
  • Clarinet: looks confused but that's probably because they have a stick in their mouth
  • Oboes/Cor Anglais: Swears at their reed a lot. Looks like they have constipation permanently.
  • Bassoon: Jolly. Enjoys laughing.
  • Flute: *prances around meadows with pixies* or at least that's what the drugs they're taking are showing them
  • Trumpet: cocky lil shit I ain't even gon give you a funny one
  • Trombone: ayyyyyyy slidey slidey funtubes
  • Horns: Beautiful. Pure. Shouldn't be seated near the Brass, Mr School Orchestra Conductor. Edumacate yourself.
  • Saxophones: get out you are not merging with this orchestra
  • Percussion: probably has anger issues, I mean they hit things for a living
  • Piano: "What are all these other instruments doing here when you could have just me?"
  • Harp: YES MY TWO SECOND SOLO IS COMING UP *plays arpeggio* OMG THAT WAS AMAZING
  • Celeste: *eye twitch*
When INFJ meets INTJ

INTJs are well-known masterminds. They see through people’s weak logic and attack it with their intelligence, making others feel completely incompetent.

INFJs are little-known masterminds. They analyze people’s personality and emotional weakness. INFJs see shallowness of people and carefully listen to their insecurity and worries. Now they know all your secrets.

What is interesting is when INFJ meets INTJ. INFJ will try to figure out emotional depth of INTJ. INTJ will try to measure INFJ’s intelligence.

Both usually fail because INTJs rarely reveal their emotion or personal concerns and most of the time already figured out all their problems. And INFJs, who usually seem peaceful, are extremely insightful and sharp when it comes to intellectual conversation. Plus, due to their introverted-intuitive nature, their interaction is very fast-paced and dense. While people around them try to understand what the hell they are talking about, they both conclude “This person is different”.

Then they become best sarcasm duo.

History remembers the Boston Tea Party as the night when angry patriots ended a standoff with a bunch of British ships by boarding them and throwing crates of tea into the harbor, thus giving birth to America. What history usually fails to mention is that this event would probably have ended much more diplomatically if said angry patriots hadn’t been raging drunk on the night in question. Hell, there’s a better-than-even chance that most of them didn’t even remember it the next day.

The drinking started after a meeting led by Samuel Adams at the Old South Church, when a group of men gathered at the house of newspaper publisher and tea-hater Benjamin Edes to discuss what to do about the British ships. Among the participants was a potent “punch” of red wine, rum, and whiskey to facilitate the flow of ideas, served in Edes’ family punchbowl, which his son Peter was instructed to keep topped off like the country itself depended on it.

Hours later, the Sons of Liberty were deeply under the effect of Edes’ freedom juice, and the party began to reach that precarious point in a heavy drinking session at which property damage becomes an inevitability.

The 5 Most Important Things Ever Done While Black Out Drunk

Dating a young Severus Snape would include:

requested by: @winterelf94, we hope you like it! :)

► Meeting Severus in your fifth year; he’d be your tutor in potions, a subject you usually failed miserably. Your head of house would talk you into taking extra lessons and in the end you’d agree after hearing that Severus would teach you. His talent for potions was remarkable and you would be stupid to give up the opportunity to learn from one of the best students in school, especially if you wanted to pass your O.W.L’s.

► Him already being there when you’d enter the classroom. He’d look up from his potions book and your eyes would meet for the first time. Before that day you never really had anything to do with each other since you are in different houses and your group of friends couldn’t be more different. Nonetheless you always admired his talent for potions and you made sure to tell him that during your first lesson.

► You not knowing at first, of course, that ever since that first encounter he took a liking to you because, unlike so many other people, you didn’t flinch away from him, insult him or look at him in disgust and during those lessons you’d get to know each other better. You’d do homework together in the library and work together in the classes you had with each other. Sometimes he’d even walk you to your next class without saying a word about it. Time passed and during the holidays you wrote each other letters every week and as soon as term started again you’d greet him with a bone crushing hug. He’d always hesitated to hug you back at first but in the end his arms would circle around you and hold you close.

► Him finally building up the courage to ask you out at the end of your sixth year and you agreeing happily. Your first date was the last Hogsmeade weekend and even though he never really liked the visits, he knew that it would made you happy and went to the village with you. 

► Missing him over the summer holidays enough to lie to your parents about visiting your best friend. Instead you went to see Severus and when he saw you standing in front of his door one of his rare, genuine smiles broke out on his face.

► Affectionate glances when you pass each other in the corridors, while you are both sorrounded by your friends.

► Stolen kisses in empty classrooms, and secret touches behind the greenhouses, where noone could see you. Severus would be extremely uncomfortable with public displays of affection, and therefore even more eager to show you how much you meant to him when you two were alone. 

► Comforting him after a fight with James Potter and Sirius Black, reassuring him that their words meant nothing, and that he should not listen to them, while holding him close, your face lying against his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat. 

► Inventing usefull little spells with him in your free time, like the Muffliato charm. He even trusts you enough to show you his potion book, where he scribbles his notes in the margins and everytime you read it as if it were the most fascinating thing he’d watch you and couldn’t help but smile slightly at you.

6

☆ [ Kyuuketsuki darake no Haruyasumi LOG 2 ]

I wasn’t sure of what to expect from the third track but it didn’t fail to deliver the usual comedy/fansevice xDD

In the first part I’m not sure of the ‘position’ Hyde & Licht ended up after they bumped into each other, specially because of Licht’s reaction www but I loved how Lawless literally goes DOKI at the fact that (he thougth) Licht was reaching out his hand at him <///333 

When the gym class pat started I just kept picturing Licht with the japanese gym bloomers….. I couldn’t help it….. I’m not sorry (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ 

Aaaah and Hugh being a sensei!! So cute <33
Ok, the comic strip thing I made obviously only happened in my head… I think Tetsu was actully doing some wrestling chokehold or something ww but just shhh, let me think he wanted to hug Misono(?) <’3

Asdgfhjk and Lawless being embarrassed when the others actually call him “Lawless-chan” even though he keeps introducing himself like that was unexpectedly adorable; specially Licht calling him “Hyde-chan” <//3 ♥ ♥

The truth is I had planned on drawing at least +10 more scenes, but I think I need to stop now…. Drawing nonstop is tiring, uguu.

I had a lot of fun making this!! And I hope you enjoy the result haha :’) 

I need a blind date au where jim’s first sight of bones is of him strolling into the coffee shop casually, backpack slung over one shoulder, sleeves rolled up to reveal a plethora of tattoos, fucking skinny jeans clinging to every inch of his legs, stubble and a sarcastic half-smile on his lips

jim is instantly aroused and also confused, since uhura (who set them up) described him as ‘the perfect southern gentleman’ and what’s standing before him is the literal embodiment of sass, grunge, and rock and roll

as they sit drinking coffee, jim falls in love with bones’ colorful phrases and insight on ‘country living’, amazed that someone so rough around the edges could find his home in medicine and frankly, boring academic life

and of course, by the end of it, jim’s realized he hasn’t really even said a word about himself, too enthralled by the mystery of the man beside him to speak coherently

and just as he’s about to say something, bones leans in and offers casually enough, “since i’ve spent the past 3 hours talking your ear off, why don’t you repay me the favor at the bar across the street, darlin’?”

and jim never agreed to anything so quickly in his life

YouTubers AU

-Percy’s channel(Aquamancabin3) is all over the place the boy is a mess he has no clue what he’s doing

-A lot of it is food tasting, story telling, and his mom

-His viewers love Sally so much she’s so nice and he makes videos with her and posts then every monday(it’s definitely named Momma Monday fight me)

-He does a lot of collabs with his friends and makes up ship names for them all

-Jason(Saving-Grace) has a schedule that he follows very closely he hardly ever strays from it

-Also does lots of collabs too but without the ship names

-He tries to do tutorials but usually fails

-Piper is on his channel a lot bc he loves his girlfriend

-Annabeth(Wisegirlmusings) teaches her viewers how to do things

-~Diy queen~

-She does all of the diys all of them and slays

-She has Percy over sometimes and he fails but she just smiles and says “Good job, seaweed brain”

-Piper(BeautyandBeast) slays too she does sfx makeup and kills the Halloween game

-She uses her friends as models all the time and gets them all ready for Halloween

-Her Halloween vlogs are killer funny and cute ‘cause everyone is together partying and getting ready and goofing off

-Hazel(Diamondintherough) has a very nice child friendly channel that is mainly vlogging

-Her videos always end with her struggling to work the camera

-She gets Frank to help her edit and upload her videos because she can’t figure it out

-She has Nico in her videos with her the most and they’re the cutest

-Her most watched are “The Sibling Tag” and “My Brother Gets Me Ready For A Date”

-Frank is second most

-Frank’s channel(Beastboyx-treme) (he let Leo name it) is half work out videos half cute girlfriend

-He also does some song covers with Hazel and she talks Nico into joining in with a piano sometimes

-Every year on their anniversary he posts a video full of clips of him and Hazel being cute

-Leo(Supersizemanprize) does lots of pranks and video games

-He tries to act tough but the horror games scare him so much he falls out of his chair

-He sets things on fire a lot and everyone loves it

-“I’m glad you guys enjoy me nearly burning my house down”

-Nico(GhostkingdiAngelo) explores abandoned places and tells ghost stories and conspiracy theories and stuff

-He gets really serious during story time and it’s really scare it don’t watch at night

-He does things with Hazel all the time and they’re so cuTE I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH THEYRE ADORABLE

-He does piano covers sometimes and sings along and gets really into the music like he cried once when he did Ave Maria and a few days later made a video to explain why(*coughmamadiangelocough*)

-Will(Doctor Sunshine) does videos on what’s good food and what to do to stay healthy

-He gets Nico to 'pretend’ to be his patient in the videos but let’s be real Will’s actually doctoring him there is no pretend

-He plays the ukulele a lot and appears in some of Nico’s cover videos

-He also does an anniversary thing for him and Nico

2

“the white noise in my mind won’t calm down. you’re all I think about.”

b&w kaisoo, requested by @okaysoo