failed but a for effort

Never mind the “Who shot first?” stuff; THIS is the defining moment of the Han Solo character:

Everyone else was just like: “Oh, fuck: It’s Vader!” and standing around in shock and terror when Vader was revealed. Even Chewie.

Most people, I suspect, would have that reaction. 

Meanwhile, Han’s first reaction, instinctively, in less than a second, was to grab a gun and try to flat-out end the guy.

He failed, of course. But God Damn if you can’t appreciate the effort. 

10

I tried anon, i really did. I hope this passes for ‘soft and cute’ lmao. Poor Frisk can’t catch a break.

and here’s a bonus panel as if this thing wasn’t long enough already:

Loneliness

Loneliness is one of the key themes in Moomin books. Tove Jansson was very familiar with this experience. Her father had been emotionally damaged by the civil war when Tove was very young and because of this, she spent her entire childhood longing for his affection. In her adulthood Tove experienced another war and had to wait for her brother, lover and friends who were away fighting. All while her friends and family were also mourning and emotionally distant. After the war ended, Tove entered another relationship full of longing and waiting with Atos Wirtanen. Endless waiting only seemed to end when she met Tuulikki Pietilä, who was finally there when Tove needed her most.

Constant waiting is a lonely experience. But Tove was also aware of another kind of loneliness. This kind of loneliness is the kind we seek ourselves. Tove was a very private person even when she became famous and also a dedicated artist who needed peace to work. She spent years trying to find a place where she could isolate herself to work and enjoy her own company.

Loneliness appears as duality in Moomin books. The bad kind of loneliness is represented with various Fillyjonks and sometimes Moomintroll himself, especially when he longs for Snufkin. Fillyjonks are anxious and depressed people who often suffer from sudden feelings of doom. Their unstable minds and efforts to keep up respectable life often end up isolating them in large houses on the beach because their grandmother had supposedly lived there as a child or in neatly decorated parlors with only their own thoughts for company. Fillyjonks long to escape this loneliness. They will reach out for people but they often fail. It seems it’s impossible to be both polite and proper and speak up about your depression at the same time.

Moominvalley in November is a book where loneliness is the main theme. So it is no wonder that a Fillyjonk is among the main characters. This Fillyjonk is tired of being anxious and alone, so she comes to visit Moomin family in hopes of getting caught up in their spontaneous life. When Moomin family appears to be away, she tries to be spontaneous like Moominmamma herself and make people around her feel at home. She fails miserably, because a timid and orderly Fillyjonk cannot be Moominmamma. Her efforts isolate her further until she lets go and starts to be herself but with a happier attitude towards herself. In the end she manages to put together a work party and heads back home with more enthusiasm. She was able to overcome her loneliness when she accepted her limitations and embraced them and others.

Another lonely Fillyjonk appears in Tales from Moominvalley; Fillyjonk Who Believed in Disasters. This Fillyjonk ends up overcoming her loneliness without other people like the Fillyjonk mentioned above. Instead, she encounters the disaster she was afraid of and turns her loneliness from bad kind to the good kind. This good kind of loneliness means that you can be by yourself and it’s not scary or unpleasant. Snufkin basically lives for this kind of loneliness. He not only enjoys being by himself, he yearns for it and becomes anxious if he does not get to be alone. In a way, his good loneliness is the opposite from Fillyjonk’s bad loneliness. This good kind of loneliness nurtures and gives us strength to be social again. Though eventually even Snufkin realizes that maybe he did not really need to be so much alone, when he was always surrounder by people who understood him.

There is no way to talk about loneliness and healing without talking about the very personification of loneliness; The Groke. The Groke is so cold that everything she touches turns to ice. This isolates her from other people completely. So completely, that they would rather not even mention her name. Whenever she approached their light, they will turn it off and run away. She is almost defiant in her loneliness. “I’m the only Groke. There is no one like me and I will never warm up” she declares in Moominpappa and the Sea. She is bad loneliness given form. But eventually a single act of kindness, Moomintroll coming to see her on the beach, frees the Groke. Moomintroll’s company and caring drive away her loneliness and turn out to be the key to her freedom; The Groke becomes warm. Moomin books always show us characters either freeing themselves from bad loneliness or finding out that limitless amount of good loneliness is not actually a key to happiness.

The truest example of independent and good loneliness is actually Little My. She is capable of finding just the right balance between loneliness and sociality. She is with others when she feels like it and despite being sharp and brutally honest, she is willing to support and nurture them whenever they need it. But she is also capable of running away whenever she feels like it. Little My is free of sentimentality and will not miss people and company. She can enjoy both loneliness and company to equal measure, without ever getting bored or sad.

In a universe parallel to this one, you and I stay up some nights, holding hands in bed, worrying about all the versions of ourselves that don’t end up together. Parallel You says, “Somewhere we never even kiss.” Parallel Me says, “Somewhere we never even touch." Parallel You supposes that the universe in which we never cross paths must be a kinder one than the universe where we make the effort to love each other and fail at it so miserably that we part ways and never speak again. Parallel Me says, "That universe doesn’t exist.” Parallel You says, “That’s not how this works.”
—  trista mateer

Sonic the Hedgehog is basically some sort of freaky cryptid, isn’t he?

No, I don’t mean because he’s an electric blue hedgehog, though there is that.

I mean… like, back in the day when 2D platformers were all the rage, everybody wanted to be the next Mario. There were about a billion different attempts to manufacture a mascot-driven platformer franchise by corporate decree; some flew high and crashed hard (e.g., Earthworm Jim); some were bad jokes right from the get-go (e.g., Bubsy); and some have just bumbled along doing their thing, no gushing headlines but no hysterical laughter (e.g., Rayman) - and then there’s Sonic.

Sonic is the one mascot-by-committee who’s managed to make good. He has a goofy design, a self-consciously “edgy” personality, and basically nothing to distinguish him from any of dozens of failed efforts, yet everybody loves him. And on top of all that:

a. Most of his output has ranged from mediocre to terrible for longer than the bulk of his current fanbase has been alive - there are literally kids who love Sonic in spite of the fact that his last standout game came out before they were born; and

b.  He’s a console mascot for a defunct console.

… and yet he’s coasted on pure name recognition for decades, and is routinely mentioned in the same breath as mascots like, well, Mario.

Like, I’m not saying it was aliens, but…

hi everyone! i’ve been dealing with depression since may 2017. though everyone here on the studyblr community seems to be well intentioned when it comes to advise on mental health, i noticed that a lot of people feel uncomfortable, knowing that a significant part of them may not have ever experienced any kind of mental illness – note that i used the term ‘uncomfortable’, not ‘angry’. sure drinking water is important, but how is that going to help me, mentally? 

you see, i got no other knowledge about the subject than my own experiences, conversations with doctors and basic research. i can’t guarantee any of this will be helpful to you, but i can share what i’ve been passing through and try to reach a more equal level to those who are also dealing with mental illness and school. here are some things to note:

settling a time for taking medicine

  • this one can sound just as silly as drinking water, though it’s very important to the right functioning of the medicine you’re taking. it’s simple chemistry and you’ll find better results by doing that. your doctor will advise you to do so, then listen to all of their reccomendations
  • ok, so you’re taking medicine and has settled a time for doing it, great! now, you should turn it into a task. write it down on your journal, programme a phone alarm, or even find an app for this, so you won’t skip the correct time for doing it
  • however, you’re probably going to skip time for one day or another, and it’s absolutely ok, since it doesn’t become something frequent!

sleeping

  • well, sleeping is a quite complicated one: apparenty, depression can make you wether sleep too much or not sleep at all, and that’s s my case. i would wake up every night and spend 40-50 min awake. it took me 5 different pills until i found the one that made my sleep enough and regenerating again
  • report your sleeping problems to your doctor. sleeping medicine can lead your mind to some weird dreams, as it’s done to me, and your doctor will know how to handle this

doing stuff you like

  • depression is well known for making people uncapable of doing all the things they once were passionate about. i know. however, you have to keep in mind that you’re now starting a new phase, the getting better phase, now that you’ve been taking medicine and seeing the doctor. in time, maybe the day you start taking medicine or maybe not so early, you’ll return to do what gives you pleasure
  • make sure that your hobby doesn’t feel like an obligation and happens spontaneously 
  • maybe you don’t have a hobby, a hobby that feels like the stereotypical ones, like drawing, singing or playing tennis, and that’s alright: find something you do without any blame and stick to it 

studying for exams

  • this can be a great oportunity for you to try new studying methods. depression injuries your academic productivity, and by the end of the semester the only you wish is your school year to be over; then all you want is your notes to be efective
  • there are tons of study tips for your here on tumblr. don’t be afraid of trying a new note taking system or doing those vocabulary things that are so popular here
  • i know it doesn’t feel like the correct time for experimenting; you have to make it to the next year and shouldn’t get too excited planning what you’re gonna do, and then end up in a mess bigger than before. i have this thoughts frequently. but, during my last exams seasion, i was just so tired!!! i didn’t read every book, didn’t take revision notes that covered up everything in detail, but what i did felt effective
  • trust me, neither you nor these people on studyblr community can study everything to their 100%, even if they are mentally healthy. that’s impossible, so don’t push yourself too hard

receiving exams results

  • well, you can probably guess that this is about receiving bad results. good grades need no preparation for, in contrast to bad ones… erm, but we have to cover them up: your effort may not work. you may fail some subjects. it is a possibility, and it doesn’t mean that you should’ve done more or that it’s just a big picture that represents how you were never able to develop studying skills – sorry! i have these thoughts
  • you can always work on prevention. prevention from failing and prevention from feeling completely helpless if you do

letting your school know

  • you should consider letting your school teachers and headmaster know about your condition. this way, they’ll get to understand your lack of motivation and the occurrent classes that you’ve been skipping or simply away from
  • you can also get the chance to take tests at home or separately from the others, if that’s how you wish to

getting a legal absence

  • you can get a legal absence from school, if you understand that you’ll feel better at home. i decided it was the best for me to do and had my parents, doctors and school supporting my decision. if this is something that often cross your mind, make sure you have thought it through, then you’ll have to deal with all the bureaucracy, but hopefully it won’t take too long

final considerations

keeping a journal

  • the day i started taking medicine, i decided i would start a journal to monitor my feelings and simply write down moments or things i’d like to remember later on. both my psychologist and psychiatrist supported my idea. maybe you could enjoy doing so, or going for the things i did well today challenge

treating yourself

  • it can be a hobby. we all know how life is busy. if you just can find an hour when you can enjoy your body lotions, do some skin care or simply wash your hair, then lucky you are
  • though depression can depravate your want to do some of the self caring, you could find a way to reanimate these habits, when you do it only in order to take care of your well-being

starting a studyblr, studygram or a studytube

hobbies during bad days

  • i’m so glad i’ve got my hobbies to use them in my favour! they can feel pretty productive when i can’t function to the productivity patterns. my psychiatrist recommended me not to pin them to my weekly activities, so i wouldn’t have to worry about them. maybe this strategy suits you as well

i believe this is pretty much everything for now. ahhhh please let me know if any of this sounds helpful and thank you very much for reading!!! 

wishing you the very best on earth!!!

If a scene feels awkward, slow, or just not-quite-right…

(1) Try taking a piece of action and plopping it in the middle of a drama scene, or plop a piece of drama in the middle of an action scene. (Give your character something they need to overcome in order to get back to their goal.)

(2) Try taking out supporting characters who might be helping the POV character achieve their goal. (Make the POV character responsible for the goals and safety of all the characters involved.)

(3) Try upping the stakes just as the POV character realizes they’re going to fail. (Make the POV character give more effort then they originally wanted to or thought they could; make them sacrifice more to reach their goal.)

(4) Try rewriting the scene in a completely different, more suspenseful setting. (Give the characters a time limit, distractions, and/or the chance of being overheard/stopped/etc.)

Helpful things to consider along the way…

  • What goal does your POV character want to achieve in this scene? Who or what is stopping them from reaching this goal, and why?
  • Is your POV character developing, learning, and making decisive choices during this scene?
  • Are all your character’s emotions progressing naturally, and influencing their actions and decisions?
  • How does this scene impact the rest of the story? If you remove it from the story, what changes?

And if all else fails: Ask someone you trust to give you detailed feedback!

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➤ Character: Min Yoongi x reader

➤ Genre/words: Arranged Marriage! AU, Smut, Angst / 16,742 words

➤ Summary: He is the successor of his family’s business empire, and you are the female heir of yours. After the trouble his older brother had created in the past, he now must face certain requirements needed for the sake of the family’s future and to save his rights of inheritance, and you become his only way out. Everything might seem so simple, just the way they are supposed to. But everything isn’t always what it seems, is it?

➤ Warning: Mentions of death, major character death, smut/mature scene


Keep reading

2

In the beginning of her first year on Earth Jane wears an enchanted beanie made by her mom to hide all her Demonic traits and powers.  Because she was bullied a lot being a lesser Demon in the Underworld she was afraid she would be bullied for being a mutant on Earth.  Comet (Starco Baby) finds out about his housemate’s (they both live together with Marco’s parents) secret and tries to get her to go to school as her real self.  Unfortunately he consistently fails in his efforts till one day his life is in danger and she has to release her powers and reveal her true form to save him. 

How to become a good student (again) 4: Layer Yourself to Merge Yourself

Hello, fellow ex-good student!

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife and hide yo husband, cause I’m about to drop the p-bomb:

That’s right… p…p…pro…

PROCRASTINATION!

I know. I know. The moment has come, man. Procrastination has cost me so many hours of my life that I will never get back and I guess it’s the same for you.
Here’s a bit of a secret - the first three posts so far? They were actually also about procrastination. Specifically, they were about WHY you or I might procrastinate.
1. Because you’re overwhelmed by choices
2. Because, goddamnit, it’s HARD to to start
3. Because you have a screwed up relationship with studying

Now, in this post, we will be tying these threads together by looking at the WHAT and the HOW. You’ve examined the roots, you’ve gotten rid of the pesky little bugs living down there, so… WHAT is procrastination really and HOW do you defeat it and actually start studying?

Procrastinaton, for me, is a state of mind, a surround sound and most of all: a place - it’s LIMBO. It’s physically being unable to do something. Being caught in a web (very often the world wide one). Drowning in water. Being pulled apart, gaining momentum, losing control, cotton in my ears, the heat of shame in my chest, a thousand voices in my mind that I try to silence.

“You should be -”
“You have to -”
“You must -”

“Do something, do something, do something, anything, anything, anything, anything”
“You loser, you can’t even -”
“YOU USED TO BE GREAT and now you’re just-”

I hate myself while doing it. I feel horrible. I feel useless.
But at the same time, at the very bottom of my mind, there is something that I’ve refused to acknowledge for the longest time: a sense of pleasure.
Why
do I feel this weird sense of pleasure when I procrastinate? Why do I feel pleasure when I know I’m sabotaging my future through inaction? When I’m digging myself into a deeper and deeper grave? When I hate myself at the same time? Why do I procrastinate at all? Is it because of that underlying ironic pleasure?

Well, to find the answer to those questions, we first need to ask ourselves a bigger one: what is the OPPOSITE of limbo? If limbo is being caught in the middle of nowhere, floating, glitching, slowly imploding, then what is the opposite?
I’d say it’s movement, direction and action - you being in charge and moving things along, having agency, being alive and powerful and energetic and hot. I’d say it’s FLOW.

When I was a child, I had little to no problem syncing in and out of flow. It just came to me like second nature and I LOVED it. I loved the way my brain buzzed and I completely forgot about my surroundings. I loved disappearing into ideas, books, stories, video games, homework, a teacher’s lesson, a friend’s story, my own projects. I went in and out as I pleased and could turn it on and off like a light switch. It was so. much. fun. and I was so, so lucky to have had the privilege of such a talent.

Back then, I used to ache and hunger for a challenge. Things were smooth and easy and fun, but I wanted MORE - harder exercises, deeper questions, more challenging teachers. When I told my father about that, he smiled and said

“Be happy. You have put so much work into this. This is the moment it’s all paying off - you’ve turned and turned and turned your wheel and now it’s running smoothly along the street without even noticing how uneven the ground is.”

He was right, of course, but as time went on, I became more and dissatisfied with my smooth little wheel and started to procrastinate more and more. Why? And, again: where does the pleasure at procrastinating come from?

I’d argue that there are two main factors and one huge reason:

FACTOR 1: The wheel didn’t deliver on its promises

I already mentioned this in the very first post, but basically: disillusionment. I loved working hard, but I also expected it to pay off at some point. However, apart from the occasional pat on the head from a teacher or my parents’ smiles, there wasn’t all that much to be gained. There were no harder exercises, no special treatments, no big revelations - even university, my very last bastion of hope turned out to be a glorified bouncy castle.
I was just bored and the work I put into it wasn’t worth the outcome anymore. The system had failed me.

FACTOR 2: Suddenly, there were a lot of wheels

It is easy to glorify my younger self, but, really, child-me had it a lot easier.
Child-me only had one wheel to spin (school) and as I grew older, I realized that there were, well, many other wheels I had neglected.
I had a lot of catching up to do in areas like empathy, charisma, self-confidence and self-worth outside of academia, humour and fashion. And when I left school, there were even MORE wheels: suddenly, I also had to keep my job, my apartment, my much more complicated social life, my manifold hobbies and a somewhat healthy sleep schedule going.
I wasn’t prepared for this abundance of wheels. I’d grown up thinking that as long as I could keep the one wheel I was good at spinning (academia), I’d be juuuuust dandy. Well, I was wrong and I realized that, once again the system had failed me.

If only I’d had better teachers. If only I’d listened to the good ones. If only I’d worked the problem earlier. If only I was part of a better system that would recognize and foster my talents. Who knows how much I could achieve? Who knows how much I could have ALREADY achieved?

And that’s where the pleasure of procrastination comes from.
It is defiance. It is rebellion. It is a big “FUCK YOU” to the system that failed me. It is a “Look at me! I’m operating outside the system and I’m STILL getting semi-good grades. I don’t need any of you. I don’t need any of this. I’m playing by MY rules. I’m getting shit done MY way. Because YOUR way disappointed me. Because I am FREE.”

If, at this point, you’re starting to feel sorry for me (or yourself for being in a similar situation) …that’s exactly the problem. There’s really no way to say this nicely, so here we go:

PROCRASTINATION IS NO MORE AND NO LESS THAN A GLORIFIED VICTIM COMPLEX.

Let me explain.
When you procrastinate, doesn’t it feel like you HAVE TO do things? Like you’re being FORCED to do something? Like you’re POWERLESS? Like you’re STUCK? Like you’re SUFFERING? Like you’re AT THE MERCY of your negative thoughts, the system or you’re conscience? Like you’re being WHIPPED AROUND? Like you crave recognition of your SUFFERING? Like you don’t have a choice except RUNNING AWAY and not facing what you’re FORCED to face?

All of these thoughts and emotions put you in the position of a sufferer - a victim.

You see yourself as a victim of the system, the school, the state, the assignment you should be working on. You deliver yourself unto their power. You submit to a simple dichotomy: I HAVE to do this or I SHOULD FEEL like shit.
I HAVE to do this, so I MUST suffer and accept the infringement of my freedom.

Well, let me tell you something that just about changed my life when I fully, deeply and profoundly realized the truth behind these words:

YOU 
DON’T 
HAVE
TO 
DO 
SHIT. 


…or a bit more eloquently put:

You’re the one in control.

No, honestly. You are. 

If you wanted to, you could throw it all into the wind, take the next train to nowhere and see where life takes you. But do you want to do that? 
And, the even bigger question: why do you feel SO powerless that this small, stupid act of rebellion against The System is enough to intoxicate you SO much that you keep coming back to suckle on its sweet, sweet bitter nectar?

It’s because you feel trapped. It’s because you feel lost. 
It’s because you feel like you have so much potential and it’s all going to FUCKING waste and if somebody were to just give you a FUCKING hand you could really show everybody just how much you can FUCKING do and-

-let me stop you right there and let me ask you 4 questions:

QUESTION 1)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are …but what’s the use of your intelligence if you can’t use it to improve your own life?

If you’re anything like me, you find it very easy and rewarding to help other people with their problems. You easily see the roots of problems and the ways that conflicts could be resolved. You’re an excellent trouble-shooter and a strategist in video games and for your friends… but what about your own life? Why do you ACCEPT playing the role of the victim in your own life?

Why do you accept this suffering?

Long story short: because you’ve grown used to it.

You’ve forgotten what it feels like to make active choices, to exert your full agency and to take full responsibility for whatever mess might come of it. Leading me to…

Question 2)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but what’s the use of your intelligence if you don’t take anything seriously?

Be honest: when was the last time you took anything seriously and gave it your all? …no? Nothing?


Well, if you’re anything like me, I’m sure you know the neat excuse of “eh, I was just winging it, but if I REALLY tried-” and do you know what that is? It’s cowardice and it’s self-victimization.

I know I’m coming on very strong.
But the truth is this: I know this. I know this because I’ve been living this. I’ve been living a second-hand life that I allowed to be ruled by “the system” and guilt and made-up obligations …and I almost lost myself in the process.

Maybe you can realize it with me: It’s some time ago, I wake up in the middle of the night and randomly feel like taking an IQ test online. I’m still half-asleep, I roll onto my stomach, I don’t even sit up, I meander my way through the questions. Shit. I realize that time is running out and I haven’t even finished ¾ of the questions! I panick. I feel guilty. I finally sit up. I start trying harder. I’m getting faster and faster - faster than I ever thought possible. And despite 5 minutes of good effort - 
I fail. Hard.
And as I sit there in my dark room, my unbelievably sucky result glowing on the screen of my mobile phone and I look out of the window, I realize: this has been my life for the past 5 years. Winging stuff at not even 50% of my capacity and being hurt by the results. Honestly, when WAS the last time I took anything really seriously? 

The next day, I get 8 hours of sleep, sit down in front of my laptop with a bottle of water, search for the most professional IQ test I can find and concentrate from the very beginning. I score 30 points higher. 

Let me repeat that: I scored 30 points higher on an IQ test because I actually tried. Magical things can happen if you take stuff seriously.

Leading us to

Question 3)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but when was the last time your intelligence has brought you joy?

Maybe you’re familiar with the phrase “The burnt child dreads the fire”? When I thought back on my academic progress in the last years, I realized that there really hadn’t been much joy anywhere. Pretty much everything had sucked. 

Big time.

Of course I wouldn’t want to invest my energy into something that didn’t yield any good results … right?

Wrong. My lack of good results was only an indicator for the real problem: my lack of effort.
The simple truth is this: 
We are smart. We enjoy doing what we are good at. We enjoy hard mental work, REGARDLESS of the results.
But once I started to focus too much on the results and thought it was all about having a great CV and min-maxing my grades… I just didn’t have fun anymore. I didn’t allow myself to have fun anymore. To disappear into a world of thoughts like I used to as a child. To invest way too much time into a project, to have an absolute BLAST creating something complex and outstanding and super cool. 

Bringing us to…

Question 4) 
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but can you really create something extraordinary?

See that’s the thing: when I was a child, I didn’t just take school seriously.
I wanted to go the extra mile. 
And honestly? That was the whole secret. I wanted to create something that wasn’t just special but mind-blowingly special. It’s not like I knew I had it in me, but rather that I wanted grow to have more and more in me and I knew that the only way to do that was to challenge myself again and again.
That’s the difference between viewing your intelligence and your capabilities as stagnant or growing. There is no joy and no truth in regarding yourself as stagnant - the best of violin players started out sounding like a dying cat and the best athletes kept stumbling. If you want to create and become something extraordinary, you need to know that it will not happen overnight. You need to know that it will be a slow, hard and challenging hike up a hill and the only thing that keeps you climbing is your willingness to go the extra mile so you can see the view become more and more beautiful.

The real pleasure of studying is not getting good results and bragging rights - that’s just a cool side-effect. The real pleasure of studying is studying and that means working and knowing that working gets you one step ahead one step at a time.

So HOW can you change? HOW can you regain control? How can you consciously go from limbo to flow?
First of all:

1) RECLAIM YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AND YOUR PASSION

The first thing I tell myself in the morning is “My life is in my hands.”
That’s not always an easy sentence to start with, especially if I haven’t slept well or if I’m sick or in the middle of a fight or an existential crisis or just crabby.
But it’s always true. It’s MY life and it’s my responsibility to make the best of it. 

One poem in particular has really helped me, so who knows, maybe it’ll help some of you guys as well:

The Vow

No matter how deep the sadness or wide the pain,
I vow to live for a brighter day will come again.

No matter how many mistakes I’ve made in the past,
I vow to live and in the future avoid them, surefooted and fast.

No matter how many tragedies beyond my control take place,
I vow to live and stay my course within this race.

No matter how poor or rich I may ever be,
I vow to live and aspire to search for the dignity in simplicity.

No matter how much a lover may pierce the inner core of my heart,
I vow to live for like spring I’ll get a new start.

No matter how isolated and alone I may feel,
I vow to live and do something for someone else to heal.

No matter how hopeless my situation my appear,
I vow to live and reflect until my viewpoint is clear.

No matter what happens in this life – good or bad
I vow to live, do my best, and just for living – be glad.

– Malcolm O. Varner

If you want to find pleasure in studying again, you need to embrace your own passion.
I know it’s a lot “cooler” to be indifferent towards studying, to procrastinate, to do it almost out of spite and at the last minute. But is it really?
No one wins. It’s not rewarding. It’s not fulfilling. You’ll have forgotten it in a week. It just sucks for everyone involved. Love what you do. Love it like you would a lover. Be considerate, be tender and be patient.
It must not feel like an obligation. It must feel like a passion - a fiery want for new horizons, mentals fireworks and lightbulb moments. It must come from yourself, from your bowels, your fibres, your blood - not from some ominous outside force. 

“I have to do this.” -> “I want to do this!”
“I’m losing time. There is so much I have to do, I want to be done with this already.” -> “I want to give this my time. This is absolutely worth it. I really want to be doing this right now.”
“Be fast. Be faster.” -> “Slow down. Be patient. Cherish this moment.”
“This is hard. I hate it. I hate it so much.” -> “This is challenging. I love it. I love it so much.”
“I can make this perfect, it has to be perfect! I could give this my all, I can give this my all. If I’m not giving this my all, I’m a complete and utter failure. Better not try at all rather than screwing it up. Again.”   -> “This is a work-in-progress, just like anything else. I am sure I can improve it bit by bit, by devoting some of my time to it. Even if I don’t get very far today, I’m sure the experience will pay off in the long run and I might find some unrelated ideas for other projects!”

You must go from this:

To that:

2) MAKE ACTIVE CHOICES.

(Like, maybe make the choice NOT to wear that speedo)

Because that’s really what it comes down to in the end: CHOICE. Nobody actively chooses to procrastinate. Procrastination is the absence of choice. 

Years of little to no success make you feel like your choices don’t matter -> you feel like you cannot influence anything -> you might as well not try -> you procrastinate.
But here’s the thing: your choices DO matter (DITCH that speedo!) and you must regain that trust in yourself.

We NEED to be able to make choices about their own lives. It makes us feel powerful and like we are truly alive.
It makes us feel like we are, you guessed it, in the flow.

Now, of course it’d be nice if I told you “Make conscious choices sweaty <3 ;*” and you’d go out and do it and that was it. But, truth be told, it’s hella hard to get there and it will take you at least a year of constant effort.
For me, this year meant constantly asking myself “Wait, do I REALLY want to do this right now?” and establishing a neat rule for all media consumption that goes “Always enrichment, never escape”. But, as I said, that’s a work-in-progress and something that you will have to work on in your own time and at your own pace.
Luckily, I found a shortcut :D

Now, the shortcut does not replace the year of constant effort, mind you, but it can help to make it a lot easier:

THE STUDY ROOM

What’s the “Study Room”? Well…
You might have been wondering what the title “Layer Yourself to Merge Yourself” is all about. This was my thought process:

  • 1) I want to get from limbo to flow
  • 2) And I want studying to feel like a reward in and of itself
  • 3) And it’d be nice if I could concentrate on just spinning one wheel at a time, so I can really lose myself in it
  • 4) I also want it to be a conscious choice, so I can train my decision-making process
  • ….
  • ….but how?
  • …”fake it till you make it” or what, haha?
  • ….I guess what that really means is that you have to act like you’re already there until you’re there?
  • …so, like, you have to artifically induce naturalness?
  • …haha, wouldn’t it be neat if I could do that and “transform” into my “study-form” like the Avatar or a magical girl or a superhero or something?
  • …..
  • …wait. Wait. WAIT. What if I COULD?
  • What if there was a “me” that was specifically always in the flow and already loves and is good at studying and which I only access whenever I want to study?
  • So I create a new “me”, so that, over time, we can become one again and I can change into that “me” whenever I want?
  • …cool.
  • …but how?
  • I could always go to a special place, but that would limit me whenever that place wasn’t availabe.
  • …buuuuuut…..
  • …..what if it was a place I could ALWAYS access?
  • what if it was a place in my MIND?
  • ….
  • …..holy SHIT.

And that’s how the “Study Room” was born. Below, I will detail the journey to my personal “study room”, but I wager that everybody’s study room will look a little different depending on what makes you feel most comfortable, rational and “in the flow”.

STEP 1 - DETACH FROM LIMBO

Close your eyes. Lean back.
Do it with me now. Consider this your tutorial. Bring yourself to a screeching halt, throw an anchor into the the ground of the stormy sea, pull the brakes, just - stop. Stop. Slow down.
Close your eyes, lean back, keep your eyes closed for a good minute - god, how long a minute can be, right?- and feel your breathing consciously, slowly, feel how you are alive and full of hunger, feel how your heart beats, feel how much tension has built up inside of you, how much energy has been stored and how much you actually ache to do something meaningful. Feel it. Keep your eyes closed until you feel it. Then, come back to me.

STEP 2 - BECOME AWARE OF REALITY

I don’t know if you’ll need this step, but I live very much inside my head and limbo just makes that effect even stronger. So, I like to remind myself of my physicality, of my spatial realness, of my ability to perceive and interact with the world in this step. I re-connect with the world and it slows me down even more - it’s a bit like hooking myself into this world, so limbo can’t claim me so easily.
I drink a glass of water, I eat a carrot, I touch a cold tile, I feel the texture of a pillow, I play with my own hair - if I’m in public, like in a library, I usually just brush over my lips or grip the table unobtrusively. It’s a small step, one that usually doesn’t take longer than 10 seconds, but it’s one that has helped me a lot.

(When I’m really caught up in limbo, I usually lie down on the floor in my room. That works wonders)

STEP 3 - ENTER YOUR STUDY PLACE

At this point, I close my eyes again and visualize. I enter another world, the world of studying in my mind.

STEP 3A - THE DOOR

My eyes are still closed and imagine a dark, circular room: this is the entrance to my Study Room ™. I stand in the middle of the room - there is one door right in front of me, two to my left and two to my right. I have no idea what’s behind those other doors or why my imagination has conjured up a room like that, but hey, it works and here we are.
I gather all my concentration and repeat “My life is in my hands. I take on the responsibility for my own life. I WANT to learn. I CHOOSE this.” to myself. Then, I consciously choose to walk in only one direction, channeling all my thoughts into a straight line: towards the door right in front of me. I enter through it - somehow, I never have to actually open it, so it might be more like an open doorway?

STEP 3B - THE WATER

I step through the door and find myself in a space filled with water. I have absolutely no trouble breathing and I can easily swim, turn, glide and spiral like a dolphin. The water washes the last remnants of limbo off me, I feel my tensions washing away, my mind waking up, the wheel starting to move, my chest feeling lighter, my heart feeling hotter, my breathing going slow and steady. I swim in this liminal space for as long as I need to, I revel, I breathe, I wallow, I luxuriate until I feel ready to emerge from the water.
(wonder what psychologists would say about this little ritual - is it a literal re-birth? is this the womb? who knows? it works and that’s good enough for me right now …now that I think about it, that beach scene from Gravity might have been an inspiration. Man, I loved that movie already, but that ending?? Aaaaanyway, moving on…)

STEP 3C - THE WORLD

Then, I swim upwards and emerge from the water, head-first. The sun is warm and shines on my head and I step out of the water with bare feet, toes curling around grass and my lungs breathing in fresh forest air. Somewhere, a bird is singing, white clouds are languidly drifting by, all is warm, comfortable and good. I sit down on a giant mushroom by a tree (hey, don’t ask me, I don’t know), take a last deep breath and put pen to paper.
At this point, I open my eyes in the real world. I am completely relaxed, a thousand miles away from limbo, in another dimension even, calm and happy to engage with questions and wonders.

I’m in the flow.

In this world, I am a different me. A “study-me”.
In time, this me and I will merge again and we have already merged quite a bit. My walk through the Study Room process has become faster and faster and I am quite certain that, in time, it won’t take longer than a fraction of a second and it will seem like I can switch my flow on and off again like I used to. My study wheel is rolling again.

But if yours isn’t just yet, then …this is it. This is how, this is why and this is the very moment I re-connect with my “study values”, my passion and my agency, again and again and I choose to do it. Again. And again.


It is, really, all about choice.

And that’s the advantage I have over the old me. The old me studied because I didn’t know anything else and because I thought that I had to. 
The me right now chooses to study because I want to. And that makes it ten times more effective, more freeing and more fun.

So run wild, enjoy, actively enter that world of studying in your head, no matter what yours might look like (rain? palm trees? other planet? go bonkers!), it’s about choosing this and wanting this. It is about YOU saying “Yes, there are other interesting things and wheels out there, but right here, right now, I want this, nothing else and I will give it all of myself for as long as I want to.”

As you might have guessed by the gifs, I really recommend watching Free! Iwatobi Swim Club if you’re interested in overcoming procrastination.
(I swear I’m not sponsored by KyoAni, but for all their other shortcomings, their characters always have amazing character arcs when it comes to professionalism and passions) Both Rin and Haru are caught in their own versions of limbo and following Rin’s journey in Season 1 and Haru’s journey in Season 2 really helped me realize a lot of things about my own life and about how I dealt with passion, talent and my career.

The last part of this series will include a Q&A, so if there is something you didn’t quite understand or are unsure about, something you’d like to add or recommend to others, something you’d like me to explain in more detail or demonstrate through other examples, please, just write me a message (my inbox is absolutely open!) and I will answer it in Part 5 :)

Thank you for coming along on this ride! I hope some of my thoughts could help you and please, do let me know if my methods work for you - I’d love to know! :D 

Your life is in your hands,

-studyinstyle

Mrs Fluffybottom

Prompt:  omg bruh. Imagine Prinxiety where Virgil wants to make something for Roman, but gets super self conscious about it cause Roman’s CREATIVITY for petes sake, and of course it’ll look dumb in comparison to what Roman can make.  OH this is kinda sad but what if something accidentally happened to Ms. Fluffybottom and Roman is devastated, so Verge tries to stitch him a stuffed bunny? X’D ~ @this-is-ske

Pairing: Prinxiety (platonic or romantic)

General Taglist: @thebeautyofthomas @frustratedwaffle @killerfangirl3 @pippa-frost @extreme-doodles @fandomsofrandom @here-to-vent @i-prayed-to-you-cas @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life

cw: Self-loathing, negative self-talk, vivid imagery of a destroyed doll, cursing, headaches, mostly fluff

The absolute worst part about the whole mess was that Princey hadn’t even been angry

Anger, Virgil could’ve handled. If Roman had yelled, or raged at him, or otherwise reacted in the way Virgil had feared, he would at least have been expecting it. It would have made sense. Especially after all the pomp and circumstance with which he’d loaned the doll to Virgil in the first place–and the solemn promise he’d extracted from Virgil to take care good of her. 

Not that he’d done it on purpose, of course. He was just…Anxiety. Ruining things was what he did

Keep reading

The Laundry Fic

Pairing: Amazing Phil & Daniel Howell (Phan)

Genre: Fluff, Light Smut, Head-cannon?

Word Count: 1800

Inspired by:  So we all know from Dan’s latest video that he spent his early years of Uni travelling down to Phil’s flat to do ‘laundry’. Here’s that fic. (Despite the title, I promise it’s not one of those fics). 

Keep reading

frisk’s personality and actions

(undertale spoilers)

if one believes that the player is the one who influences most of the decisions in undertale, it might leave one feeling that frisk has no agency or depth as a character. as it turns out, frisk does an awful lot of things that the player has absolutely no control over. these actions change depending on whether chara is in control or not, suggesting that the neutral/pacifist actions that the player cannot control are actually frisk’s.

here is a list of most of frisk’s own choices. italicised points are actions emulated by chara.

  • frisk attempts to think of something to say to toriel during the battle (as opposed to chara’s “not worth talking to”).
  • if toriel has been killed previously, frisk will look at her before the battle “like [they] have seen a ghost”.
  • if a route has been done or aborted after meeting sans previously, frisk will turn around to shake hands with sans before he tells them to turn around.

▶ frisk moves behind the conveniently-shaped lamp to hide from papyrus.

this action is significant because it’s the first major action that contrasts with chara. chara refuses to play along in the genocide route, but frisk is happy to go along with sans. after papyrus leaves, frisk steps out from the lamp on their own.

▶ frisk hears the snowman out and only takes one piece of it.

chara keeps taking pieces of the snowman until it’s just “a useless pile of snow”. in contrast, frisk lets the snowman finish its speech. if frisk agrees to take a piece, they only take one small piece that doesn’t disfigure the snowman when removed.

  • there is no option to call the monster whose picture is on the fishing line. frisks decides not to on their own.
  • doggo has no real reaction to frisk (he shivers in chara’s presence).
  • frisk does not interrupt papyrus as he explains puzzles.
  • before the date or hangout with papyrus, frisk follows him around snowdin before he enters his house.

▶ after checking the sink in papyrus’ house, revealing the annoying dog, frisk tries to catch him when papyrus asks them to.

PAPYRUS:
CATCH THAT MEDDLING CANINE!

although frisk fails to catch the dog, they put their best effort into trying to do so. the player cannot do anything here.

  • when climbing on monster kid, they put care into being gentle with them.
  • after surviving the fall and landing in the waterfall dumps, frisk stands up on their own.
  • in the pacifist route, where frisk’s name is learned, choosing to hit the training dummy (mad dummy) will result in frisk lightly tapping it. frisk will “feel bad”.

▶ it’s implied that frisk responds in some way to monster kid affirming that they are, in fact, human.

MONSTER KID:
Yo… You’re human, right? Haha.
Man! I knew it!
…well, I know it now, I mean…

this is significant because, in the genocide route, chara makes a habit of not responding to anyone.

  • during the hangout with undyne, after frisk looks inside the bone drawer and sees the annoying dog, they’ll immediately turn around to face the screen.
  • frisk drinks undyne’s golden flower tea, but they’re hesitant to do so at first after being told it’s hot.
  • apparently, frisk drinks all the tea, prompting undyne to attempt to get them some more.
  • frisk turns to look at undyne when she leaps over to pick them up.
  • before battling RG01 and RG02, frisk plays along and follows them around.
  • when frisk is trapped in muffet’s web, the player can turn frisk in any direction until muffet appears, at which point frisk will turn to face her of their own accord.
  • after mettaton’s coloured tile puzzle, frisk turns towards him.
  • in the mtt resort room, frisk will be on their stomach under the covers.

▶ during the mtt hotel scene, when sans mentions that frisk hasn’t died a single time, frisk gives him some sort of “look”.

SANS:
hey, what’s that look supposed to mean?
am i wrong…?

based on sans’ reaction, the “look” is probably one of irritation. perhaps frisk scoffs at this a little.

  • just as frisk is about to enter the long elevator that connects to new home, alphys asks frisk to stop. frisk stops and turns to face her.
  • after alphys’ speech, frisk automatically turns back towards the elevator.

▶ when frisk runs from monsters, they do it with a smile.

during sans’ pacifist judgment, he mentions that frisk smiles when they flee from monsters, something we couldn’t have known up to this point. it speaks volumes about frisk’s friendly disposition. 

▶ reloading the game to just before sans’ judgment will cause frisk to wear a certain “look” during his speech.

perhaps frisk looked bored.

▶ reloading before the judgment once again will cause frisk to do something in order to get sans’ attention.

frisk wants to tell sans the secret codeword. it makes sense that frisk has done something to make him realise they have something to say.

▶ immediately after, frisk mentions something about a codeword to sans.

they must say this out loud, prompting sans to ask frisk to “speak a little louder”.

▶ frisk, in canon, on their own, without any prompt from the player, says, “i’m a stupid doodoo butt”.

SANS:
wow. i can’t believe you would say that.
not only is that completely infantile…
but it’s also my secret codeword.

frisk says the secret codeword out loud. sans seems to be enjoying his prank.

▶ with their own two lips, frisk says, in canon, on their own, with no prompt from the player, “i’m the legendary fartmaster”.

SANS:
wow.
that’s… uh… really childish.

frisk continues playing along.

▶ frisk might mention this being a secret secret codeword on their own, which sans corrects.

SANS:
whoever told you that is a dirty liar.
i don’t have a secret secret codeword.
however.
i do have a secret secret triple-secret codeword.
which you just said.
so, i guess you’re qualified.

something prompted sans to mention a “secret secret codeword”, and it was probably frisk.

  • in the pacifist-neutral route, in the battle against asgore, the “talk” ACT will prompt frisk to beg asgore to stop fighting. if a monster has been killed before the asgore battle, the “talk” ACT will instead prompt a response of, “but there was nothing to say”.
  • if frisk has died to asgore in a pacifist-neutral route, the first “talk” ACT will be replaced with frisk telling asgore that he killed them before. 
  • in the neutral end, after flowey says he’ll tear frisk “to bloody pieces” and then pauses, frisk bravely steps forward.

▶ frisk walks extremely slowly to the bath monster in the true lab.

frisk can walk back out of the room at normal speed while the monster is still there, suggesting that frisk has some sort of fear of it and would rather not be in this room. 

  • after each of the vhs tapes, frisk turns around to face the screen.

▶ in the pacifist route, after flowey captures all of frisk’s friends in his vines, it is implied that frisk asks flowey why he’s doing this.

flowey interrupts his speech as if he’s been asked a question, and then repeats said assumed question.

▶ during the fight with asriel, frisk attempts to move and reach their save file on their own.

although it’s normally the player who has the option to save and load the game, if a save file is present in undertale, frisk will try to reach it themself.


these are all things that frisk does on their own without any prompt from the player whatsoever. unlike the impatient chara, frisk is polite and won’t move while others are speaking. all together, these actions paint a picture of a kind individual who cares about making others happy.

» read more: frisk can resist the player

Karmic Meanings of Retrograde Planets in the Natal Chart

I found this on pathwaytoascension.com and I just wanted to share it with you because it is great information

When a  planet is retrograde, its energies are turned inward and becomes more  subjective. The energy is slower  manifesting in the external world, partly because the individual with  retrograde planets tends to think more deeply about the energies involved.  Many geniuses and leaders have retrograde   planets.

         According to Martin Schulman, in his Karmic  Astrology:  Retrogrades &  Reincarnation, Vol. II, retrograde planets tend to break the time  barrier.  The individual brings memories  of prior lifetimes into the present incarnation.  There  may be feelings of a “blending of lifetimes” characterized by the person  attempting to resolve issues that still appear to be unfinished.  The memories can be so vivid that the person   does not recognize them as “memories.” In Schulman’s words:  “He is living in a dulled phase of another  time zone whose irresistible magnetism seems even more important than his  current life.”  The individual keeps  re-living the experiences that relate to the particular retrograde planet.  

        Retrogrades operate through multiple  dimensions at the same time.   Thus, the  person may “be either behind or ahead of himself in this life while still  another part of self is not yet in this life at all.  In addition to this lack of synchronization  with chronological time, which in itself would be enough to upset most  individuals, he also experiences on still another plane, a rather unique  orientation in space.”  (Schulman)

         Schulman’s definition of a “Retrograde individual” refers to  having either:  1) 3 or more retrogrades  in the natal chart, 2) any one of the personal planets Retrograde, or 3) even  one single Retrograde planet near the Ascendant or Midheaven (the 10th house cusp is called the Midheaven).

        Again quoting Schulman:  “The Retrograde planet, with its powerful   karmic lessons being brought forward in this life tends to emphasize the matter  or form side of life, throwing man into the more primitive parts of himself  where his struggle for survival amidst the conditions and people around him  becomes predominant over the fulfillment of his Soul.  This becomes even more heightened in the case  of the inner [personal] Retrogrades (Mercury, Venus, & Mars) through which  man deals with the very same intimate, personal, and private parts of himself  which he has been struggling with since his beginning in time.”  

         It  is comforting and encouraging to know “that soul and spirit are above the laws  of karma” and all difficulties can be resolved.   Much spiritual growth can take place through the overcoming of the   difficulties involved with Retrograde planets.

PERSONAL  RETROGRADE PLANETS

The SUN and MOON  do not go retrograde.

MERCURY RETROGRADE – turns the mind inward, giving a  tendency to repeatedly go back over prior events and lessons.  The thought process is based in the   subconscious rather than the conscious mind.   This means the learning process  is more Right Brain than Left Brain; you absorb the essence rather than the  details.  For this reason, you are likely  to score lower on standardized and/or facts-oriented tests than those students  not having MERCURY RETROGRADE.  

         PARENTS,  BE ALERT – The child with MERCURY RETROGRADE is likely to be made to feel  and told that he/she is less intelligent than he/she really is.  This  child’s learning process is different, not less intelligent.

        The MERCURY RETROGRADE individual is  capable of tapping into the collective unconscious and of perceiving knowledge  from prior times.   This process is  unconscious.  Because you know more than  you can consciously communicate, frustration may set in.  You may become preoccupied with the form of  your ideas, creating barriers to the essence of your knowledge.

         Creative  outlets that require non-verbal communication, such as music and painting, are  an excellent means of expression for MERCURY RETROGRADE.  Many of our musical geniuses have MERCURY  RETROGRADE.  History is also a natural  outlet.

         MERCURY  RETROGRADE KARMA:  Relationships – with a tendency to  react to others “as if” they symbolize persons from the past.

VENUS RETROGRADE – indicates difficulty in  expressing freely your love and affection for others.  You may feel that you lack emotional  fulfillment and tend to interpret life’s events through the lens of “how much  am I loved or deprived of love?”   Emotionally based relationships can be difficult because you tend to  internalize and thereby exaggerate hurts.

         VENUS  RETROGRADE KARMA:  Relationships – reveals that your soul  carries memories of past life painful relationships and a great  misunderstanding about the nature of love.   The prior life intense emotional pain may result in a present tendency   to cut yourself off from fully experiencing the richness of love—out of fear of  being hurt once more.  You will tend to  react to the present as if it is the past, thereby pre-programming your present  love relationships.  You tend to block yourself  from happiness by trying too hard to achieve it.

         PARENTS:  Encourage your VENUS RETROGRADE child to engage in all activities that add beauty,  art, and love to his/her daily life.  VENUS  is the planet of beauty; teach your child to think and create in terms that  focus on enhancing life’s situations.   Loving an animal may be helpful; just make sure the child is also   learning to love people freely and within the present context.

MARS RETROGRADE – shifts the outward thrust of energy  characteristic of MARS and directs it inward.   You will tend to expend a lot of energy reliving internally your past  experiences.  Because you are constantly  to the past, you may inflict past life roles upon the persons in your present   life’s environment.  There is a strong tendency to place priority upon  fulfilling your spiritual desires, resulting in neglect of the physical body’s  needs.   An intentional focus on holistic  growth is needed.  Sexual experiences  can be less fulfilling because your energy is turned inward.  However, sex that is deeply rooted in love   between two partners and that strives for a mutual spiritual orgasm can be a  much more natural expression for MARS RETROGRADE.  

         MARS  RETROGRADE KARMA – indicates your actions  tend to be an effort to recreate situations from your prior lifetimes. You may expend energy in attempting to find people  in the present who can symbolize those who fulfilled you in the past.  You may try to act out all that you could not  express in prior lifetimes.  You may   over-react when your efforts fail to produce your desired results.  This over-reaction can result in “coming on”  too strongly, only to have people pull back.

JUPITER

Rules the Eternal  Self, the Planet of Wisdom

Jupiter is a source of enthusiasm, optimism, and the urge to seize the  opportunities offered to you in life.

JUPITER RETROGRADE turns its energy of expansion  inward, so that much inner growth takes place, often through spiritually  oriented studies.  JUPITER RETROGRADE tends to procrastinate and to plan, then  re-plan, to the point of failing to get anywhere with the thoroughly planned  project.  JUPITER RETROGRADE offers the opportunity for a highly spiritual  incarnation. You must seek your own Truth; for, the mundane and status quo is  likely to leave you feeling discontent.    You are a free-spirit and  cannot follow happily in the footsteps of others.  Great wisdom and prophetic ability can be  present, especially as you attain spiritual maturity.  JUPITER RETROGRADE can bring many déjà-vu   experiences; you can feel at home anywhere on the planet. 

THE DWELLER ON THE  THRESHOLD

The planet of self-discipline,  SATURN’s goal for you is perfection.

SATURN helps us  bear our karma and successfully pass our tests.  Until we willingly accept  self-discipline, we experience SATURN as feelings of limitation, deprivation,  delay, and disappointment.  SATURN’s  true desire is to grant us wisdom and compassion.

SATURN RETROGRADE is your signal that you are re-doing a lifetime.  This incarnation is your 2nd chance; thus, you will feel the burden of dealing with two lifetimes at  once.  You can, therefore, experience  inner doubts about your self-worth and your ability to overcome  difficulties.  The good news is that your  soul knows you have achieved the spiritual maturity required to re-do  successfully a lifetime.  You have in  prior lifetimes advanced through great personal struggles and sacrifices.  Now, as you learn to flow with SATURN’s  discipline, you will be rewarded with enormous wisdom.  SATURN is comfortable in RETROGRADE motion, and  as you flow with it, you develop the capacity to tap into all of your past life  wisdom and talents.  SATURN RETROGRADE is a sign of an old Soul who has advanced far on the  spiritual path.  Now, you have incarnated to perfect what you have learned. 

         SATURN  RETROGRADE KARMAthe re-doing of a  lifetime, with the extra weight that entails.  SATURN RETROGRADE will be serious about  getting it right this time.

OUTER RETROGRADE  PLANETS

URANUS RETROGRADE – creates difficulty in being  aware of and expressing your inner individuality.   There can be a rediscovery of ideas from  previous lifetimes.  URANUS RETROGRADE  gives you a compelling sense of responsibility toward personal growth because  you sense that human progress as a whole is enhanced as well.  You  are a forerunner of the future, very tapped into the richness of life.  You must be original; you must explore the  new; you must share your ideas with others.   You are a free spirit and  cannot be bound by seeking to have others understand what you are about.  Your path may be long and crooked, but you  can know extreme happiness while traveling it.

         URANUS  RETROGRADE KARMA – relates to karmic  family and societal difficulties. In  your efforts to both relate to others and to reform, your unconscious mind can  be transformed.  URANUS RETROGRADE can  play havoc with relationships because of your changeability, which can make you   appear hypocritical.  Your mental and  emotional bodies may struggle with each other, as you know you need to do one  thing while feeling that you need to do another.  URANUS RETROGRADE would have you lift your  consciousness above the emotional/mental bodies and focus on the intuitive  body.

NEPTUNE RETROGRADE – gives the desire to unveil mysteries and to expose religious shams.   You will have an intuitive awareness of  your subconscious mind, but may have difficulty making conscious  attunement.  NEPTUNE RETROGRADE attunes  much easier to the subconscious/unconscious when the focus is diverted by the  use of a tool, such as astrology, or while the conscious mind is occupied with  the task at hand.  It is, therefore, important to listen to and heed insights  that appear to come to you from “out of the blue.”

         NEPTUNE  RETROGRADE indicates the urge to view the material world in terms of its  significance to the Soul and its growth.   Thus, NEPTUNE RETROGRADE offers you the opportunity to achieve a very  advanced stage of spiritual evolution during this incarnation.  NEPTUNE RETROGRADE requires that you live in   the material world while remaining separate from it.  To  others, you will seem to lack the common sense that motivates the behavior of  others.  Instead, you vibrate to a  higher music, possessing a direct attunement with your Soul.  You are much more in touch with the cosmos  than the material world and know far more than you can express in words.

         NEPTUNE  RETROGRADE KARMA – You are living through a karma of learning how to distinguish between the dreams that will  bring true fulfillment and those that simply appear to do so.  This learning process can mean that you  attempt living one dream after the other.   Because NEPTUNE RETROGRADE, functioning on the personality-centered  level, can be confusing, you may tend not to trust your intuition—even though  you are highly intuitive

PLUTO RETROGRADEturns its transformative energy even more deeply into the   superconsciousness, bringing about an inner illumination long before you are  able to give it expression in the outer world.  PLUTO RETROGRADE indicates a carry-over of psychic powers from  previous lifetimes. These powers are  to be used in constructive ways only.   You will feel the struggle humanity is going through within yourself—humanity’s struggle is your struggle. You are aware of and feel responsible for  lifting your conscious awareness so that the consciousness of humanity can be  thereby lifted.

         PLUTO  RETROGRADE KARMA – A karmic debt is  owned to humanity stemming from the age indicated by the sign in which PLUTO is  located.  This debt is to be paid  through selfless service to humanity.  Tremendous spiritual growth is possible;  you have the opportunity to rise above the karma of the human race and step off  the wheel of rebirth.  PLUTO RETROGRADE  joins NEPTUNE RETROGRADE in asking that you live in the world, while remaining   separate from it.

I did not write this but you can message me if you have any questions :)

BTS: dating Jungkook would include

▪ this dork would have to go through so much teasing before finally asking you out

 ▪ literally every time you’re over to hang out with the guys, they’d make it so obvious that he likes you 

 ▪ esp Jin that cheeky lil pickle

 ▪ “hey, I didn’t make enough food, you and y/n have to share, oops…”

 ▪ “Yoongi, don’t touch her! Do you want to feel the maknae’s wrath???“ 

▪ "I’m only going to the bathroom for 2 minutes, pls don’t do anything ok kookie?" 

▪ then he’d get fed up and just confess, mostly out of annoyance

 ▪ but then he’d think you’d take that the wrong way, and softly apologize and say he liked you too much to admit it to you before 

 ▪ but now that the cat’s outta the bag, you wanna hold my hand?

 ▪ would only initiate skinship if he’s known you for a while or he knows 100% ok with it 

▪ he then does it in front of the others to annoy them or get them to leave the room

 ▪ they’d just groan and throw pillows at you two, but continue with the teasing 

▪ but they’d be so so protective of you and treat you like a little sister (or a mini Jungkook) 

▪ rarely fighting with him

 ▪ bc there’s literally nothing that you can fight about with the other 

 ▪ you’re always very honest with each other, no matter how teasing and spontaneous your relationship may be

 ▪ so much showing off in front of you, he’s so dedicated to making you blush 

▪ tries to get Jin to teach him how to cook a v special meal for you 

▪ fails miserably, but you still appreciate the effort 

 ▪ jealous kookie is a scary kookie

 ▪ hates it when your attention is on someone else, or when other guys stare at you for too long or ‘accidentally’ brush themselves against you 

 ▪ he gets blinded by jealousy and rage and might end up throwing some hands 

▪ but you quickly pull him away and he’d proceed to apologize to you a million times

 ▪ but you’ll never admit how attractive he looked when he had that murderous look in his eye yikes

▪ sometimes won’t even act out on rage, he’d just cling to you or start playing with your hair to get your attention 

▪ then you’d ask him what’s wrong and he’ll just pout and play with your fingers until you two leave 

 ▪ is ready to be cuddled 24/7, beware

 ▪ you just can’t resist his pout and "please, jagi, I’m so lonely and cold and if you don’t hold me I’ll freeze to death" 

▪ takes his time to kiss you, just to make you weak in the knees

 ▪ but when he does, it’s so worth it bc it’s slow and passionate and he’s very caring 

 ▪ until Tae walks in and pretends to puke, but still somehow not completely ruining the moment

 ▪ loves it when you’re the big spoon, esp when he wakes up in your arms all cuddly and warm and happy

 ▪ aw, pls treat this happy dork well 💖

Originally posted by kook-tae

If one consistently puts in their best effort, they cannot possibly fail. How? Because true failure only occurs once one stops trying.
—  Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin