fail playing dead


  • ❝ Is beauty all that matters? ❞
  • ❝ You’re all I ever wanted. You’re beautiful!  ❞
  • ❝ What else is there? ❞
  • ❝ I need to know that she/he loves me… ❞
  • ❝ You’re being sneaky again, ______! ❞
  • ❝ What sneaky? You deserve a nice bouquet! ❞
  • ❝ You know I’m under a spell! ❞
  • ❝ And you deserve a kiss. ❞
  • ❝ Must make a vow of “everlasting love”.  ❞
  • ❝ Will you love me? Until the day I die? ❞
  • ❝ Don’t turn it into one of your beauty pageants! ❞
  • ❝ Oh! No, no, no, no, no! It’s just a few friends… ❞
  • ❝ I think I pulled a muscle. ❞
  • ❝ I’m gonna die! I know it! ❞
  • ❝ I’m on a mission with a lame turtle! ❞
  • ❝ I-I feel so weak… I think… I’m… ❞
  • ❝ The vow I made was for you! ❞
  • ❝ There goes my reputation. ❞
  • ❝ Is that a threat? ❞
  • ❝ You’re the only one with the power.  ❞
  • ❝ I have no friends. Only servants. ❞
  • ❝ You have to make a vow of everlasting love…  ❞
  • ❝ I’ll make it. I'ts all I’ve ever wanted. ❞
  • ❝ The children seem to get along quite nicely. ❞
  • ❝ We’ll join our lands if this arrangement clicks.  ❞
  • ❝ I think we’ve got a deal! ❞
  • ❝ It’s such good parenting… ❞
  • ❝ Just make sure you’re here tomorrow night. ❞
  • ❝ Please, mother… don’t do the lip thing.  ❞
  • ❝ You’re not still thinking he’s/she’s alive? ❞
  • ❝ You’ve looked everywhere.  ❞
  • ❝ There you have it, everlasting love. ❞
  • ❝ Great, fat. It’s large and has fur. ❞
  • ❝ It’s not what it seems. It’s not what it seems. ❞
  • ❝ Every night you ask the same question. ❞
  • ❝ You know… you are really starting to bug me!  ❞
  • ❝ I would think you’d be use to it by now. ❞
  • ❝ Went and pledged your love to another, eh? ❞
  • ❝ You have no power here.  ❞
  • ❝ I made a vow, a vow of everlasting love. ❞
  • ❝ You made a vow all right. A vow of everlasting… death. ❞
  • ❝ I will never be yours, you creature. ❞
  • ❝ If you want to stop me, you’ll have to kill me. ❞
  • ❝ You see, you’ve forgotten one very important thing.  ❞
  • ❝ Tomorrow night there is no moon. ❞
  • ❝ Thought you could fool ______, did you? ❞
  • ❝ You wouldn’t happen to know who this belongs to, would you? ❞
  • ❝ You’ve come up with some dumb ideas. ❞
  • ❝ What are you talking about? ❞ 
  • ❝ And every night I give you the same answer… ❞
  • ❝ Listen to me, ______. It’s not what it seems.   ❞
  • ❝ Who did this? ❞
  • ❝ It came so quickly.  ❞
  • ❝ We - we were attacked. A great animal. ❞
  • ❝ Oh, never mind, I know where he/she/they is.  ❞
  • ❝ Working on the mystery of the Fat Animal. ❞
  • ❝ The whole kingdom’s wrong!  ❞
  • ❝ Animal’s never gonna give her up without a fight. ❞
  • ❝ Think, you must see something other than beauty. ❞
  • ❝ This is my idea… ❞
  • ❝ Only if you defeat… me! ❞
  • ❝ Don’t let her/him/them die! ❞
  • ❝ When if all else fails just play dead. ❞
  • ❝ I made the vow for her/him. Do you hear? ❞
  • ❝ It’s awful, this humiliation. ❞
  • ❝  I’m on a mission with a lame turtle! ❞
  • ❝ It’s just a few friends… ❞
  • ❝ I’m only a turtle. ❞ 
  • ❝ I can only kiss the one I love. ❞
  • ❝ You deserve a nice bouquet!  ❞ 
  • ❝ Is beauty all that matters to you? ❞
  • ❝ What? You’re all I ever wanted. You’re beautiful! ❞
  • ❝ Once you steal something, you spend your whole life fighting to keep it.  ❞
  • ❝ Whenever I have to do something in a hurry, I’ll always bring a turtle. ❞
  • ❝ I have no friends. Only servants. And they call me “your highness”. ❞


The Swan Princess {Sentence Starters}
  • "I have no friends. Only servants. And they call me 'your highness'."
  • "I'm gonna die! I know it!"
  • "She says, 'Is beauty all that matters?', and you say, 'What else is there?'!"
  • "You know I'm under a spell!"
  • "Once you steal something, you spend your whole life fighting to keep it."
  • "There goes my reputation."
  • "What? You're all I ever wanted. You're beautiful!"
  • "Just make sure you're here tomorrow night."
  • "Don't you dare let her die!"
  • "I need to know that he loves me... for just being me!"
  • "You've looked everywhere. She's not coming back."
  • "There comes a time, the possum said, when if all else fails just play dead."
  • "Is beauty all that matters to you?"
  • "I swear I'm gonna be sick!"
  • "There you have it, everlasting love."
  • "You've come up with some dumb ideas, but this one's a doozy."
  • "Far longer than forever, I'll hold you in my heart."
  • "You know, you are really starting to bug me!"
  • "I will never be yours, you creature."
  • "I think you really sorta like her, 'fess up!"
  • "You should write a book: How To Offend Women In Five Syllables or Less!"
  • "If you want to stop me, you'll have to kill me."
  • "You wouldn't happen to know who this belongs to, would you?"
  • "I would think you'd be use to it by now."
  • "I think I pulled a muscle."
  • "And with your love I'll never be alone."
  • "I-I feel so weak. I think... I'm-"
Punk Rock Rae

a/n- This turned into a monster. So my part 2 of Punk Rock Rae is going to have a part 2. Good grief. Next bit will be the sleepover, I promise. And I really wish the read more button would appear. UGH. Enjoy!

“Maybe you should just… bail out.” Archie shrugs, pushing his glasses up.

“Yeah, great idea. Then everyone will think I’m some big puss. Just what I fucking need at this point in my life.”

“Better a puss than an idiot with a broke nose… or worse. Could work for you, though. Make Rae feel extra sorry for you? She might not shag you but I bet you could at least get a sympathy wank… maybe even a blowjob.”

Finn puffs the last of his cigarette. “If you weren’t my best mate, I’d knock your lights out.”

Archie pats him on the back, sliding off the table when the bell rings. “Save all that rage for Liam and if all else fails, remember: play dead.”

This was absolute bullshit. Today was supposed to be mint. A few classes, football game and then a weekend with Rae. Alone. That thought had kept him up all night. Finn wasn’t a timid lad in bed. He didn’t claim to know everything and he was a fast learner and the girls he slept with all claimed to be ruined for life because they know they’d never find a man more attentive than Finn Nelson.

He didn’t want to fumble around Rae, though. He wanted to be proficient in the language of her body, to know her better than he knew himself. The thought of disappointing her, of not satisfying her the way she deserved to be satisfied, upset him deeply.

There were other thought, too. Things that were very much none of his business but he couldn’t help thinking about. Had there been other guys? Had she loved them? Had they loved her? Respected her?

Was this another test? Maybe it was and maybe he was failing spectacularly by thinking this weekend had anything to do with sex. She had grabbed him (and he blushed all the way down to his toes at the memory) but she was a bold, sassy girl and maybe she just meant to drive him wild (mission accomplished) and nothing more. Should he bring condoms? Was that too forward? But what is something did happen and he was woefully unprepared?

He doesn’t sleep much. In fact, he’s awake when his alarm clock goes off. Getting dressed is a chore. Making tea is a chore. His dad is giving him major side-eye (especially when he nods off and his face nearly ends up in his breakfast). “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Finn mumbles. “Didn’t sleep well.”

“Maybe you should stay home? Take a half day, at least, so you can rest up before your game.”

It’s an appealing thought, really. But Finn knows that even if he did stay home, he wouldn’t be able to sleep because he’d be worried that Rae thought he was ducking out on her or that Liam was getting a little too friendly (he knows Rae is more than capable of handling herself but he feels like he should be around, just in case).

“Nah, I’ll be ok.”

He gets to school a little earlier than usual, which is dumb because he doesn’t know if Rae is the early type or not. And clearly she’s not because he’s looked for her and hasn’t seen even a glimpse of lace. Fuck. He’s sullen when he plops down at a table in the courtyard and starts rolling a cigarette, his glare daring anyone who wasn’t Rae to approach him. It was too early for this. He hadn’t had enough sleep. A nap and a cigarette were needed (but not in that order) and he hoped today didn’t drag as slowly as he feared it would.

“Hey there!”

Finn doesn’t look up because it’s not her and he stops himself from rolling his eyes. Fucking Chloe. “Hey.”

“Alright, so I have some bad news.” She settles herself next to him on the bench.

“Is Rae ok?”

“Yeah, she’s fine.” Chloe waves his fears away from a flick of her wrist. “I think she’s in the library.”

The only fucking place he didn’t look. Brilliant. “Thanks.” He moves to grab his bag but Chloe puts a hand out to stop him.

“I still have something to tell you. Ok, you know how I’m friends with Stacey Stringfellow?”

Finn cringes at the name. “Yeah?”

“Ok, well, she is friends with Lois. Do you know Lois? Blonde hair, kinda ditzy. Really cute but in a puppy sort of way, like, I wouldn’t call her gorgeous by any means but she’s not bad to look at, I guess.” His hand starts inching towards his bag. “And Lois is friends with Amy. Do you know Amy? Curlyish hair. She got kicked out of her last college from beating this guy to a pulp. Not the sort you want to double cross, no what I mean?” He’s got one strap over his shoulder, an eye on his watch. If he left now and found Rae, that would give them 15 minutes until school starts. “And Amy is friends with Liam. Like, the Liam who likes Rae. But Amy likes Liam and I guess they hang out sometimes and last night they were at the park and Liam starts talking mad shit about you.”

“Does this story have an end?” He asks, standing up. “It’s not that I don’t like talking to ya, it’s just that-“

“Well, Stacey told me that Lois told her that Amy said that Liam told her at the park that he was going to beat the hell out of you today.”

“What?” Everything seems to screech to a sudden halt and he sits down heavily. “What?”

Chloe shrugs. “I told you to watch out for him, didn’t I? I just wanted to give you a heads up so that you could scram before he finds you.”

“I’m not running from him.” The very thought hurt his pride. Liam might have been bigger in size but Finn had enough school yard brawls to know how to handle himself. Dylan Bryan was a much bigger lad than he was and Finn had handled him just fine yesterday.

“Don’t be stupid. Liam is insane. A mental case. A real one.” Chloe studies her nails and shrugs. “Stacey said Amy told her that Liam got kicked out of his last school for trying to drown another boy in the fountain. I wouldn’t fight him. I would run away.”

He’s got a rude retort on his tongue about how she does lots of things he would never do, but she is his pal and she did warn him, so he gives her a frown and stands back up. “Yeah, thanks.”

Liam is a twat. Finn decides this as he’s going up the stairs with the library as his destination. He’d spoken a handful of words to the boy and now he wants to fight. Over what? Rae? She didn’t even like Liam, had made the plain as day with her words and here he was, ready to smash Finn because she’d picked him.
She doesn’t look up when he sits across from her, but a smile plays on her lips. “Finnley.”

“Rae.” He can play cool, too. “Homework?”

“Paper due on Monday. Figured I’d get it over with since my weekend’s pretty much screwed.”
It’s the way she says screwed with the tiniest drop in her voice that makes him swallow and shift in his seat because he hadn’t been wrong and he did need to bring condoms (lots of them, hopefully). He doesn’t really trust his voice but he’s determined not to let her one up him as she usually does. “What you got planned then?”

She shrugs, pencil still scratching across the paper. “Dunno. Thought I might go watch a football match tonight and then head to the pub. No telling what I might get into after that since my mum isn’t home.”

There’s a moment of panic when he thinks maybe she forgot that she invited him or maybe this was her subtle way of telling him that she changed her mind, but when she cuts her eyes up at him, sly smile still in place he breathes out in relief. “Could invite a lad over.”

“S’pose I could,” she cocks her head to the side. “Boys are a mystery though, honestly. All they seem to care about is themselves and I’m not much into that.”

“Maybe you haven’t met the right one.”

“Oh, I haven’t met one at all,” she’s looking him straight in the eye when she says this.

“Not a single one?”

“Nah,” she shakes her head and flips a page in her book, pencil flying again. “Have met this one guy, though. Cute, kind of a dork-“

“There’s that word again.”

“I like dorks and don’t interrupt when I’m gushing. Anyways, he’s cute and a little dorky but he thinks he’s an epic slice. Don’t get me wrong, he is and he majorly knows it,” she sets her pencil down and rests her chin in the palm of her hand. “I don’t know. He’s different, I guess.”

“Different in a good way or a bad way?”

“Oh, definitely good. Chloe says he’s the type of lad you just let whack it in you.”

He doesn’t mean to laugh but he does and he chokes a little while he’s at it and turns bright red as her eyes sparkle and she laughs, too. “Chloe is a master of words.”

“She really is.”

“So, is that what you plan on doing this weekend? Letting some dorky lad whack it in you?”

He gets a little shrug. “Beats masturbation, I suppose.”

Finn leans forward over the table and the words are on his tongue and he knows he’s passing another test when he whispers, “We better be talking about me” and she smiles and replies “I wouldn’t consider anyone else, Finnley.”

The bell rings. They both hear it but the only moving they do is to the back of the library behind a tall, dusty bookshelf. Coats are shed and her hands are under shirt, fingers trailing up his stomach and back down to tease just under the edge of his jeans and boxers. He wants to touch her, devour her but all he can do is lock his hands around her face and hold on for dear life because he’s falling more helplessly in love with her and his heart is pounding so loud that he’s sure it’s what attracted the librarian.

“What are you doing?”

Finn’s flustered but Rae is calm. “Studying.”

The older woman looks at them over her glasses, her mouth drawn down. “And what exactly are you studying?”


Finn laughs and the woman tells them to get to class or else. She trails them all the way to the door and when Rae heads to the left, she kisses Finn firm on the mouth and says, “To be continued.”

Those are the best three words in the world. Alright, maybe not. He got a bigger buzz when she told him she loved him, but this was pretty good, too. He was, at least, awake (albeit, a little wobbly as his blood starts returning to his brain and other vital organs) and classes didn’t seem too daunting.

“Finn, you’re alive,” Archie raises his eyebrows when he sees him at the next break.

“Don’t sound so surprised.”

“Chloe told me about Liam.”

Fuck. He, in getting lost in the absolute mind numbing bliss of Rae’s mouth, had forgotten that there was a psycho on the loose who was thirsting for his blood. The mates have a chat and Archie offers (in Finn’s opinion) shit advice.

“Thought about it more,” Archie tells him at lunch. “And I think the best thing you can do is tell Rae.”

His mouth drops as he looks at Archie. “Are you mental? You want me to run to my girlfriend and tell her… what the fuck is she supposed to do about it?”

“Maybe she could tell him to back off. He seemed pretty scared of her. Hell, I’m scared of her sometimes.”

“You did not just suggest I have a girl fight for me.”

“I didn’t say fight. Have her-“

“No way. That’s worse than running away. I can handle this.”

Archie stops him and grips both of his shoulders in his hands. “Listen to me Finn. Liam is crazy and he will kill you.”

“I’m not getting Rae involved,” he shrugs away from Archie. “I got this sorted. Just be a lad and back me up.”

“I’m just saying that Liam is trying to keep this low key. Have you heard anything about this fight? No. Why? Because he knows if Rae gets wind of this, she will knock all of his teeth out. Circumvent the problem, Finn.”

They pause at the door leading outside and Finn knows she’s on the other side of the door (Liam, too) and he’s not backing down. “Don’t be such a pussy, Archer.”

“When you get your face punched in don’t-“

“Who’s punching your face in?”

Both boys jump and quickly turn to find Rae with her eyes narrowed. “Hiya, Rae.”

“Archie,” she greets, eyes trained on Finn. “You’re not fighting with that twat Dylan again are you?”

Finn shakes his head. “Nah. Not on game day.”

“Then what-“

“Rae!” It’s the first time Finn is actually glad to see fuckin’ Chloe. She looks a little frazzled and she’s clutching a picture in her hand. “Can we talk for a second? Please?”

Rae points a finger at Finn. “This isn’t over. Stay here.”

They watch the two girls disappear around a corner, apparently head to the loo. “Wonder what that’s about?”

“No idea.”

Archer tugs on his sleeve. “I’m not going out there if Rae isn’t. I’m still scarred for life over yesterday. A sewing needle being pushed through his-“

“Stop talking about it.” Finn shudders. “Fucking weirdos.”

“Let’s go, then.”

“Rae said not to move.”

“Whipped,” Archie shakes his head. “Already. What a damn shame.”

“Fine, we’ll go and I’ll tell her you made me leave. “

Archie shifts and considers his options. “This isn’t so bad of a spot.”

“Thought so.”

Archie produces a hacky sack from his bag and they kick it back and forth for a bit. Usually Finn would gloat over his superior skills but he’s too busy working out how he’s going to get out of telling Rae about the fight. He’s not afraid to fight Liam (he’s actually worked out in his head that he want to fight him because Liam is obviously a threat to Rae and Finn isn’t taking this shit off of no one) but he definitely doesn’t want her around when-

“Been looking for you.”

Archie flinches and kick the little bag too hard, sending it sailing over Finn’s shoulder and into Liam’s face. He balks when Liam glares at him but it’s only for a split second before he trains his eyes on Finn.

“You have, huh?” Finn asks coolly, bending to retrieve the hacky sack. He straightens and tosses it over to Archie. “Well, here I am.”

“Here you are,” Liam spreads his arms wide, a sarcastic smile plastered on his face. But he drops the smile rather fast and takes a step too close to Finn. “Let’s cut the shit, pretty boy. You don’t belong with her and you will stay away.”

Finn knows this sort of bullying ploy and instead of back up, he steps closer and their faces are
inches away and both of them are turning red and starting to shake. “You don’t own her or did you not catch that memo?”

“It’s just a matter of time before-“

“When a girl says no, she means no, you fucking cunt.”

“Sometimes you just gotta make ‘em say yes, know what I mean?”

Finn throws the first punch. It connects hard with the side of Liam’s jaw and his whole head snaps to the side, an audible crack coming from his neck. Then they’re off, throwing fists and cursing each other, blood dotting the floor like a sick game of connect the dots until Finn’s boot smears them. Liam gets him good in the stomach twice but Finn lands a sharp jab into his thigh that nearly buckles the lad over.

“Stop it! Stop it!” Chloe is shouting as Rae and Archie struggle to pull the two boys apart. Archie gets Finn, arms laced under his, hands pushing into the back of Finn’s head so he can’t move and Rae has a hand firmly planted in the middle of Liam’s chest. It’s calm for a brief second until the door opens and two of Liam’s buddies pop in and then they’re all fighting again but this time Archer and Finn are outnumbered and Finn can keep track of who he is hitting.

“That is enough!” Rae breaks between Finn and Liam once more, gripping Liam’s collar before slamming her head into his face. He blinks, confused for an instant before crumpling to the ground. The other boys look on in horror (one of the boys had Archie in a headlock and another was about to punch Finn in the back of the head but they all stop and watch Liam lie there, knocked out and drooling, with a sort of morbid fascination). “And if any of you twats want to escape the same, I suggest you let them go!”

Both of Liam’s friends release Archie and Finn, hands up in the air. One of them grabs Liam’s legs, the other his arms, and together they drag him back outside.

“You are so badass,” Chloe tells Rae in awe. “I mean, seriously.”

“Thank you,” Rae tells her primly. “As for you two… what the hell?”

“Liam started it,” Archie is quick to tell her. “We were just defending ourselves.”

“Who threw the first punch?”

“I did,” Finn admits. “But you should have heard what he was saying.”

“And he did tell Amy that he was going to beat Finn up yesterday,” Chloe chimes in.

She looks between the two boys and shakes her head. “Boys, I swear. Well, come on.”

She hauls them both into the bathroom (the one with the out of order sign because Archie refused to go into the girl’s room) and between her and Chloe, they get cleaned up and Finn decides when he checks his face in the mirror, that Liam really did fair worse.

“It’s not right that I’m going to have a black eye and you’re just fine,” Archie tells him.

“Learn to fight better.”

“Hey, you-“

“Alright, Archie and Chloe, see you later,” Rae opens the door and ushers them out. “See you later.” She shuts the door and turns to Finn, hands on her hips. She’s wearing this dress that looks a whole lot like his red flannel shirt and some ripped tights that show peeks of her skin.

“That looks like my shirt,” he tells her, trying to distract her from whatever verbal lashing he was about to receive.

“Yeah. Made me think of you. Speaking of you… what the hell?”

He shrugs a little, suddenly bashful. “He was just saying some stuff, you know?”

“About me?”


“What did I tell you yesterday about that?”

“It wasn’t like what Dylan said,” he throws up his hands. “I told him when a girl says no she means it and he said sometimes you gotta make ‘em say yes. I don’t care how bad he thinks he is, that’s just wrong and I know you can take care of yourself, but I couldn’t just let him stand there and think he was going to force himself on you. I would rip his guts out before I let that happen.” He’s feeling very fierce suddenly and he looks her dead on. He doesn’t want her to be mad at him but he also wants her to know that this is who he is. He respects that she can handle things herself, but he wants to handle some things for her especially pricks like Liam. “You can be mad at me if you want but-“

“Finnley,” she cuts him off, her surprisingly gentle. “Why would I be mad at you?”

“Because I… I don’t know.” He wracks his brain for a reason and dumbly mutters, “Girl power?”

“You really are a dork.” She kisses him then, soft and sweet and he melts just a little and has to steady himself with his hands on her hips.

They break apart when the lunch bell rings and scurry out lest they be caught in another compromising situation. He walks her to her class and he’s still feeling fierce, daring anyone to even look at them (some glance up and look away quickly because Finn Nelson is obviously in a sour mood). He catches her rubbing her head. “You ok?”

“Bit of a headache.”

“I can’t imagine why. You need something for it?”

She fights a smile, eyes lighting up. “I’ll get something later.” She kisses his cheek. “See you at your match?”

He’s giddy at the thought of his girl being there, cheering him on. “Yep. Archie should have something for your headache and he’ll be at the match. Could grab something with caffeine in it, too. Heard that’s good for getting rid of headaches.”

She raises her eyebrows and nods a little. “Yeah, so are orgasms so I think I’ll wait.”

She steps into her class and shuts the door behind him and Finn wonders why he’s always so disoriented around her.