I’m writing this essay because I’ve seen countless amounts of people (whether they’ve read the books or not) accuse Alec of being biphobic in City of Fallen Angels. I say City of Fallen Angels because there are no other incidents in these books that could be confused with biphobia.
While I was reading through this particular passage myself, I found Alec to be rude and crass—not unusual for an 18 year old—but I didn’t really understand why people accused him of being a biphobe.
I was reading this book over and over to try and gain some insight into this fact, and it hit me why I found this so weird, because
a) I don’t think Magnus would stay with someone that despises bisexual people, regardless of how much he loves Alec, and
b) the supposed biphobia comes out of nowhere, the disappears into nowhere.*
But I still didn’t understand why Alec would say these particular things, when it clicked.
Before you all riot and accuse me of being biphobic myself—an impossible feat, I assure you—or just making excuses for Alec, I just want to lay out the scene before I get into the analysis.
Magnus and Alec have been away for a 7 week romantic vacation for half the book, so we don’t really know what went on or what happened between them in this space of time.** According to the book itself, they have just come from Vienna and an opera that they were supposed to see together, when Magnus gets a text message/fire message/call or whatever from the Institute or Conclave, that Camille, a rouge vampire, has been captured and is being held in the Sanctuary, and will only speak to Magnus. We don’t know whether he knows then that she’ll only speak to him, or he finds out later on, when Mayrse explains it to him. Regardless, he knows that Camille is being held in the Institute, and whisks back home with Alec immediately.
Magnus, of course, knows who Camille is, and understands why she won’t talk to anyone else. Alec, on the other hand, doesn’t know who this random vampire is until Magnus says it himself, all the way back in the Sanctuary. To Alec, it seems as if Magnus has cut short their vacation together to interrogate a random vampire.
(A quick note before I start explaining everything—I’m not going against Magnus in any way, I’m just trying to explain what this must have looked like on Alec’s behalf.)
Before Magnus and Alec started dating openly, they most likely didn’t talk about anything to do with Magnus’s past, merely because they didn’t have to time on their short dates, or because Magnus narrowly avoided the topic, and Alec, who hasn’t dated anyone before and doesn’t know how it works, is none the wiser.
However, on their 7 week vacation, in which they spend every moment with each other, Magnus can’t really avoid talking about his past sneakily, and Alec is bound to have noticed something off about this, but probably doesn’t comment, because a) we know he bottles things up— as seen in CoLS—and b) he probably doesn’t want to fight during their vacation. Also, in Alec’s own words, (CoLS), Magnus is good at changing topics and avoiding them.
Alec most likely has frustration mounting with Magnus, as he won’t tell Alec anything about himself, but of course, like Alec always does, he keeps this all corked up until the bottle explodes.
I’m not condoning these actions, and Alec and Magnus should have both definitely talked about their problems together, but they don’t. And that’s the whole point of the next book, and the break up. Their relationship is meant to have problems. That’s the plot line of the second half of TMI. The whole point of this is that they talk everything over with each other, and become more trusting of one another, and become a healthy couple again.
Back to my original point, Alec doesn’t know why Magnus has cut their vacation short, as he says himself—“I really don’t see what any of this has to do with us,” Alec said. “So you caught a vampire who was up to something nasty. Aren’t they always?”—so when he finds out that Magnus has cut their time together short because of his ex-girlfriend and wanting to talk to her, he’s understandably upset, after all the avoiding of this topic. Also, before the rest find out what Camille has to do with Magnus, a ‘sort of energy crackles in between them’ when they first make direct eye contact—which everyone in the room notices—and Magnus gives a ‘wistful smile’ towards Camille, which also doesn’t go unnoticed by anyone.
Magnus then reveals that Camille was his girlfriend, blah blah blah, and everyone is astonished, including Alec.
Magnus then says ’I’ve been alive for hundreds of years. I’ve been with men, been with women—with faeries and with vampires, even a djinn or two.” Judging by the way Alec reacts, this is probably the most he’s heard about Magnus’s past relationships—and it’s in a public setting, with Magnus’s ex, Simon, and Alec’s mother, who looks ’mildly horrified’ after Magnus says this. Not very good for the bottle (the metaphor for Alec’s feelings).
Magnus and Alec then have a conversation about this, which again, is probably the most Alec has heard of this topic, and wants answers desperately.
“How many other people?” Alec asked. “Roughly.”
Magnus shook his head. “I can’t count, and it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is how I feel about you.”
“More than a hundred?” Alec asked. Magnus looked blank. “Two hundred?”
“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation now,” Magnus said to no one in particular.
Simon was inclined to agree, and wished they weren’t having it in front of him. “Why so many?” Alec’s blue eyes were very bright in the dimness. Simon couldn’t tell if he was angry. He didn’t sound angry, just very intense, but Alec was a shut-down person, and perhaps this was as angry as he ever got. “Do you get bored with people fast?”
“I live forever,” Magnus said quietly. “But not everyone does.” Alec looked as if someone had hit him. “So you just stay with them as long as they live, and then you find someone else?” - City of Fallen Angels.
Now, when reading this particular excerpt, it’s very important to remember:
a) Alec is an 18 year old Shadowhunter that has no concept of living forever, and has no insight into the topic of immortality.
b) Again, this is probably the most Magnus has ever said on the topic of his immortality and his relationships, and he’s only saying it now because the topic can’t be avoided now, as they’re in a room with Magnus’s ex.
Alec was behaving a little rude and invasive, but that’s kind of the way he is. He’s an canonically honest and blunt character, and hiding things doesn’t really sit well with him at all. We saw how he was when he was hiding his secret from everyone, and to quote Clary Fairchild:
“[Alec] was a jerk [when I first met him], but he wasn’t a jerk because he was a bad guy. He was a jerk because he was unhappy, and he felt like he had to pretend to be someone he wasn’t”.
Obviously, secrecy doesn’t sit well with him, so Magnus hiding all these things from him will understandably make him more than a little mad.**
The scene then changes to Jace and Clary, and then back to Camille and Magnus. While we know—the readers and the people in the conversation that takes place—that Magnus loves Alec for who he is etc etc—Alec doesn’t. We can see the facial expressions written on the page, and the tone of the way things are said. However. Alec has been listening outside the door to this entire conversation, judging by the way he acts afterwards, and things he says afterwards, and listening to Camille has obviously struck a bad chord with him. (Camille is a ‘master of manipulation’, remember?)
The way Alec acts at the engagement party is because of a few things in this conversation. I’m going to list some quotes, but hopefully I won’t need to spell out how these words felt to Alec, without hearing the way things are said properly, or seeing either Magnus or Camille’s face. I’m going to bold some sentences that may have affected Alec in a particular way.
“I’ve missed you, Magnus,” she said.
“I have heard things about you Magnus, I have heard that you are under the wing of the Shadowhunters these days. I had heard that you have won the love of one of them. That boy you were just talking to, I imagine. But then your tastes were always diverse.”
“But we had all of eternity,” she protested. “You must have known I would come back to you—”
“If you want me to speak for them to you,” Magnus said, “you have to tell me at least some small thing. A show of good faith.” She smiled brilliantly. “I knew you would speak to them for me, Magnus. I knew the past was not entirely dead for you.” “Consider it undead if you like,” Magnus said.
“…[she murmured, her eyes half-lidded] Come here, Magnus. Come close to me.” [Magnus stands ‘close enough to touch her’] Remember, Remember London? The parties at de Quincey’s? Remember Will Herondale? I know you do. That boy of yours, that Lightwood. They even look alike.”“Do they?” Magnus said, as if he had never thought about it. “Pretty boys have always been your undoing,” she said. “But what can some mortal child give you? Ten years, twenty, before Dissolution begins to claim him. Forty years, fifty, before death takes him. I can give you all of eternity.”
(I know Magnus says something that kinda contradicts what she has said about Alec, but it doesn’t matter. Camille, master of manipulation, has planted the seed in Alec’s mind that will grow. — this is also shown in CoLS. And I realise this was murmured, but Alec has clearly heard it, due to what he says later, so he must have activated his listening rune.)
“The Institute door opened, and Mayrse stood in the doorway, outlines by the witchlight behind her. Beside her was Alec, his arms crosed over his chest. Magnus wondered if Alec had heard any of the conversation between him and Camille through the door—surely not?”
And also we have to take in the fact that when Mayrse and Alec opened the door, Magnus was sitting very close to Camille, with his hand on her cheek.
So we can sum up this conversation with:
a) Camille and her words have gotten under Alec’s skin ,
b) He’s now starting to doubt himself and his relationship with Magnus—a factor in his lashing out later on
c) Magnus still hasn’t explained to Alec any of this clearly, which is making him feel confused about a lot of things.
And so we get to the engagement party, where Alec and Magnus fight. This is the part with the supposed biphobic remark. There are no other instances where Alec’s words can be confused with biphobia.
Alec is clearly upset, by his body language, “Alec, his arms crossed over his chest, was staring ferociously into the distance.” There’s then a long pause, and Magnus asks Jordan about his Praetor Lupus badge, and talks about someone from his past openly, something that he probably shouldn’t have done, in the state that Alec was in. Alec then asks, “Did you sleep with him too?” In an obviously rude way.
This isn’t right at all, and Alec shouldn’t have bottled up all his emotions until they exploded like this, but that’s the part of his character that gets developed over time, so he’s not like this anymore.
I’m not condoning what Alec has just said at all, I think it was crass and embarrassing, but it wasn’t biphobia. He’s hurt about the whole Camille discussion from earlier, and the fact that Magnus hasn’t told him anything from his past, and everything else, so he makes a rude and hurtful remark. He’s bottled up all these emotions all this time that we’re threatening to spill over, and now they’ve exploded in an ugly way.
Alec then says—when Magnus reacts—“Well, I don’t know anything about your past, do I? You won’t tell me anything, you just say it doesn’t matter.” A point worth noting for readers.
Right. Before I get into this bit, I want to make something very clear. I don’t believe Alec was biphobic in the books, and I understand that a few of the things he said here do cross over with biphobic micro-aggressions, but it had nothing to do with the fact that Magnus was bi. It had everything to do with the fact that he knew nothing of Magnus’s romantic past. He makes these remarks with that in mind, not the fact that he hates Magnus because he secretly hates bi people.***
This particular post caught my eye one day, and it really explains my feelings on this matter.
It reads: “Alec’s actions towards the Magnus/Camille thing never came about from “biphobia”. It came from insecurity which Alec was in the right to have. It has nothing to do with the fact that Magnus was bi, it had to do with the whole fact that Alec knew next to nothing about Magnus’s romantic past. Something that Camille took advantage of and preyed on Alec. Alec made a mistake, but guess what he learned from it, Magnus forgave him and that was that.”
Moving onto what Alec actually says: I’ve taken a photograph of the page so you guys don’t accuse me of lying or whatever, and so you can have the full context.
Read ahead, bearing all what I’ve said above in mind.
As I said before, if you take it out of context, it sounds as if Alec is being biphobic. So if you haven’t read the books (i have no idea why you’re blatantly accusing things if you haven’t read them) PLEASE READ THIS! IF YOU TAKE IT OUT OF CONTEXT, IT SOUNDS AS IF ALEC IS BEING BIPHOBIC, BUT HE IS NOT.**** HE’S MAKING A DIG AT THE FACT THAT MAGNUS HAS TOLD HIM NOTHING OF HIS ROMANTIC PAST, AND THAT CAMILLE HAS JUST TURNED UP.
He was also making an indirect comment about Camille; “Or there are plenty of pretty girls here[…]” Alec has noticed that Camille is quite beautiful, (insert quote here) and the way she and Magnus were acting before most likely made him feel uncomfortable.
A later conversation shows that Alec was lashing out because he felt trivial, and he didn’t like thinking Magnus was ‘only with me because I look like some dead guy you like.’ Obviously the conversation upset him, because of the topic of him and looking like Will and the over-exaggeration that Camille made suggesting that Magnus had a more intimate relationship with Will, (which Magnus doesn’t deny, even at this point, which was a bit of a mistake.)
Magnus says here: “And yes, [Will] did look like you, but you’re not anything like him. Jace is much more the way Will was, in personality at least—and my relationship with you is nothing like the one I had with Will.”
The only problem here is, Magnus isn’t being specific.**** ’My relationship with you is nothing like the one I had with Will,“ that could mean anything to Alec, who knows nothing about his relationship with Will, other than what Camille implied. It could mean Magnus was together with Will, but he didn’t love him as much as Alec, it could mean that Magnus’s relationship with Will was more significant, Alec doesn’t know.
They then say this:
In which Magnus is still skirting around the subject, and this is obviously playing into Alec’s doubts. They then talk about immortality, which is a master post for another day, but the point is, Alec still hasn’t gotten a straight answer.
It’s mentioned later that Alec is ’still sunk in a gloom about Magnus’ etc etc, and he comes across Camille when he’s separated from Magnus and gone to rescue Simon.
Alec is still insecure about what Camille said, so he thinks stuff like;
”The last thing he wanted was to look like a fool in front of Magnus’s ex-girlfriend,“
”She was very beautiful.” (connecting to my point about the ‘pretty girl’ thing that Alec said to Magnus earlier)
“Alec wondered if she had once looked at Magnus like this.“
And then he asks about Will, ’The words came out abruptly, unexpectedly, and much to his horror’ and Camille plays on his doubts.
(This leads onto the next book, which I may discuss on another day, but not now.)
Then Alec has a discussion with Magnus, later when he’s out of danger. Alec tries to bring the subject up again, and then Magnus finally addresses it, but he says things in a vague way that don’t really help events into the next book, and then they kiss and that’s the end of their input in this book.
This leads onto CoLS and the whole immortality thing and whatnot, but the point is that they didn’t really confront their fears, Alec didn’t really mention his doubts and insecurities, Magnus didn’t say anything more about his past, and this is obviously unhealthy, and leads to problems in the next book. But the relationship isn’t supposed to be perfect. It’s meant have problems. The whole point of these two problems in the books was that then Magnus and Alec spend time apart, Magnus realises that he’s fucked up and made the relationship not so good, Alec realises that he fucked up and made the relationship not so good, then they finally talk properly at the end of CoHF and lead a happy, healthy relationship after that, and tell each other everything.
They learnt. They made mistakes, and learnt from them, and developed their characters and relationship.
tl;dr, Alec’s a jealous, insecure guy, Alec bottled things up and eventually lashed out, Magnus should’ve reassured him and told him more, Alec wasn’t biphobic.
At least, that’s the impression that I and many others got. If you have a different view, please feel free to tell me! (If it’s backed up by support and quotes from the books you’ve obviously read lol)
* This was what really got me thinking. Alec hadn’t shown any problems with Magnus being bi before or after this book, so why would he become suddenly biphobic for a day?
** Of course, we’ll learn so much more about why Magnus didn’t tell Alec and Alec’s suspicions on their vacations in LBW, so I may come back to this later.
*** Like i said before, I think Magnus would have definitely either left Alec before they got very romantically entangled, or at least sat down and talked to him, if Alec was actually biphobic.
**** Honesty, it makes me really sad to see people hate on the books when
a) they haven’t read them
b) they take things completely out of context.
***** Again, I’M NOT HATING ON MAGNUS. I’M TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND WHY ALEC THOUGHT/DID WHAT HE DID, AND TO GET PEOPLE TO SEE THINGS FROM HIS POV.
And so, perhaps, the truth winds somewhere between the road to Glastonbury, Isle of the Priests, and the road to Avalon, lost forever in the mists of the Summer Sea. But this is my truth, I who am Morgaine tell you these things, Morgaine who was in later days called Morgan le Fay ”
✨ I am not, nor have I ever been, a good girl. Loyal, caring, and self controlled, yes, but good, oh no. Freakier and kinkier than one’s wildest dreams, my sexual sovereignty is a gift, life giving, healing, and transformational. ✨🌿comment a 🍌or a 🌹if you too are not a “good” girl and a 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 if you are a man who makes safe space for women to be sovereign sexual beings #thankyou #happyfullmoon #sexyfullmoon #aquarius
Unpopular Opinion About Tamlin: Maybe We’ve Been too Harsh?
I enjoy the “Tamlin the Tool” tag as much as the next person, but ever since I wrote my ficlette “What Rises from the Ashes” (in which I use the fact headcanon that Amarantha was Tamlin’s mate to explain his behavior) I have been thinking more and more about Tamlin.
The Preface:: I think Tamlin is emotionally and physically abusive (based on how he treats Lucien before UtM and his tantrums destroying rooms). Now, he’s not the kind who would beat someone for not having dinner ready on time, but I do think he’s abusive (I’m not getting into defining that, this post has other purposes). I do not subscribe to the headcanon that Tamlin is bipolar. Just putting that out there. He also seems to have some inherited misogyny and racism as far as his views to women & faeries proper places.
After Under the Mountain, I think Tamlin suffers from severe PTSD, and that finds a poisonous mix with his other character flaws that basically turns him Amarantha-adjacent.
Now, About Tamlin…
If you look at the series from Tamlin’s point of view- is it really so difficult to understand why he did what he did and where he was coming from?
I think Rhysand and Feyre started vocalizing this bit by bit in ACOWAR as they thought more about it, but if you look at the story from Tamlin’s point of view, here’s how things played out (remember, TAMLIN’S point of view only)–
After UtM Tamlin obviously suffers from PTSD. Feyre repeatedly begs him to let her go out, but he forces her into the role of his wife. He might need things to have a sense of normalcy, he might think he is protecting her, and he might think it’s what she needs- probably a mix of all 3.
Feyre looks utterly terrified on their wedding day, and then Rhysand appears. It was obvious she was about to reject Tamlin, but at the time- if his mental state was anything like Feyre’s- he probably linked those two separate events to Rhysand causing Feyre’s fear, like she could sense him coming through the bond or maybe he spoke into her mind directly.
No one seems to know that Rhysand was Amarantha’s sex-slave. Even the High Lords are surprised and suspicious when he reveals it in ACOWAR.
When Feyre returns, she passes on that Rhysand showed interest in the possibility she has this potentially devastating array of powers.
More and more, Rhysand comes for Feyre and repeatedly reminds Tamlin he is powerless to stop it.
Tamlin tries locking Feyre in the house, and one of the most powerful figures in the Night Court strolls right into his manor and takes her away.
Eventually, Feyre sends a mega-short letter dumping him. If this conversation had happened face-to-face, the rest of the series probably would have been VERY different.
The Night Court- and a High Lord Tamlin betrayed to the death of his mother and sister- now has Feyre and might be interested in some more retribution (I know they were friends once but that ship is long since sunk).
In ACOTAR and early ACOMAF, Rhys’ court is repeatedly said to be what Amarantha was inspired to re-create. Basically, Amarantha(’s willing little lover) now has Feyre.
The next bit is based on what Tamlin himself says in ACOWAR and what others imply (not dealing with the execution of the sentries because that was wholly knee-jerk).
Tamlin, at some point over those months, begins to realize he was choking the life out of Feyre and that she suffered from as many nightmares as he did if not more (again, we have no knowledge of what happened to Tamlin UtM when he wasn’t in front of the crowd. Did Amarantha do to him what she did to Rhys?).
At one point in ACOTAR, Lucien hints at inter-court spying and it sounds as though there are eyes in the Court of Nightmares that report directly or indirectly to him.
If that spy does exist: All Lucien and Tamlin hear after desperately searching for Feyre is that male-Amarantha suddenly shows up with Feyre one day out of nowhere and very nearly fingers her in front of everyone. When she is not with him (before he enters and when he has her step away), she is immediately surrounded by and remains slavishly close to his inner circle- his spymaster, warlord, and that very same woman who dragged Feyre out of the house. To an outside, biased observer they might appear to be her handlers.
When Lucien tries to rescue Feyre, she suddenly sprouts wings like her “master”.
At some point, Tamlin goes to Hybern to make a deal to get Feyre back.
I want to focus on that deal Tamlin made. He was called a traitor to his entire continent for that decision. But from his perspective- wasn’t he just doing what Feyre did for him?
He made a bargain with a demon in order to try and free the female he loved, who he honestly believed loved him and was under the control of a massively dangerous male who (again, only as far as he knew) had willingly been Amarantha’s lover.
Feyre sold herself to Amarantha for a chance to save him. After failing her so wholly and completely, he probably thought he was being gallant and returning the gesture. Amarantha controlled him so that even when Feyre was tortured in front of him he never dared blink an eye or behave in a way Amarantha did not allow, what if Feyre was doing the same? What if Rhys was controlling her through his powers, taking advantage of her already shattered mind, or if he’d tortured her into submission like some kind of Stockholm Syndrome (or whatever the Fae call it)?
Moving on a little bit—
When Feyre is freed she explicitly incriminates Rhysand, saying he held her mind. Rhys confirms this.
Over the next few weeks, Feyre does not outright say Rhysand repeatedly raped her, but she makes leading statements and to Tamlin that’s the same thing. She never contradicts him or Lucien when they dare talk about it and they immediately back down to spare her the memory.
Tamlin seems to have learned his lesson- he lets Feyre leave whenever she wants to, even when he doesn’t like it. When he really doesn’t approve, he just comes along. He never locks her in again (threatens to but she reminds him how well that went last time and he backs down).
I mean, if you look at the story from Tamlin’s perspective, he thinks he’s this great and mighty hero come to save the woman he loves- only to have it all thrown back in his face like a mountain of shit (why I ended the list where I did and didn’t go through the High Lords meeting). He’s pissed for being played the fool, embarrassed, and utterly enraged every time he’s called a traitor for trying to be a hero.
Again, I love “Tamlin the Tool” and think he’s abusive with that temper of his, but just from his point of view- are his actions really so hard to understand? Now, add Feyre and Rhysand’s perspectives back in the mix and it’s a whole different beast, but Tamlin didn’t have that benefit when he made his decisions. He didn’t know the whole picture.
So… when he said he thought he was doing the right thing, can you really fault him in the same vein as Hybern?
Request: Y/N has been Alec’s best friend since toddlers (and Izzy’s Parabatai) and they always loved each other,but never admitted,afraid it might ruin their friendship.when they find out that he’s about to get married,everyone freaks out,and he admits his feelings,until they found out that they’re to be marry to each other.what do you think?
Word Count: 3.1K
Warnings: Mild Language
Authors Note: Hey! Sorry this took so long to write, I hope you enjoy none the less. And I hope this is what you imagined! Thank you for all the support recently! You guys rock ❤️
“ So, do you guys want to come out to the Pandemonium with me and Meliorn?” Izzy asked, pulling a heavily jewelled necklace around her slender neck. She was struggling with the clasp so you moved to help her.
“ Izzy Im not sure if Mom or Dad would be happy with us all going out with a Faerie” Alec says strongly, folding his arms across his chest. Frowning at his sister as if to say ‘you’re joking right?’. He had been super tense since his parents suggested the idea of marriage to him. He had discussed arranged marriages with them but you could see he was terrified of the thought.
You quickly distracted yourself by letting your eyes wandered to his biceps, damn they looks amazing. Alec’s physique always got you drooling, the way his hair flopped from side to side. How he had a crooked but sexy smirk that made everyone blush. But you had told yourself that he was off limits, Alec had been your best friend since you moved to the Institute. In fact you were certain that he thought of you as a sister seen as though his mother, Maryse and his father Robert had brought you up as one of their own.
“ Come on Alec it will be fun” Izzy rolled her eyes, looking at you with an expression as to say, help me out here.
“ Yeah, it will be fun! Come on Alec! You cant be boring your whole life ” you finally laugh out , eyes connecting with Alec’s. He quickly nodded and muttered that he was going to get ready.
“ Woo! High five!” Izzy cheers lifting her hand up that you gladly accepted.
“ We are going out! And you young lady” she says pointing at you as moves to her closet “ are going to find yourself a man”
You almost choke on the surrounding air, “ Wait! What did you just say?” You stutter out, you weren’t really the adventurous type when it came to meeting new people. Especially if they just wanted to get into your pants.
“ You heard me! Meliorn said that a few of his friends are going to be there, and that apparently one of them has taken a liking to you” she winked, you pulled a disgusted face.
“ Whoever it is hasn’t even met me before!” You whine, flopping down onto Izzy’s bed. This was a very bad idea.
“ And? That makes it even more exciting!” She says returning from Narnia, with a black dress. “ Here you’re wearing this.” She grins, throwing the garment at you.
Lifting it up, you realise that the dress was extremely short, like it was a just below the arse kind of dress that showed way too much cleavage for you liking and that was tight enough to be a second skin.
“ You have to be shitting me?” You mumble, looking up at Izzy who was holding up a pair of black Stuart Weitzman heels, damn those were some nice looking shoes!
“ Nope and you are wearing it! No ifs or buts” she insists and throws the heels at me. “ Now go get changed”
You followed her demands and made your way to your room. After closing the door you began to remove your current clothing. When you were just down to your underwear you heard your door open.
“ Hey Y/N do you still ha- by the angle” you quickly spin to be greeted by Alec. His eyes were scraping up your body at a very slow pace, taking each inch of you in; which made you blush, was he really checking you out? Like for real?
“ I er- erm.. I should of knocked” he stutters out regaining eye contact. “Im sorry…”
“ Its okay, what did you need?” You say quickly grabbing your silk dressing gown from the end of your bed, and quickly slipping it on.
“ I was wondering if you still had my grey hoodie” he says, scratching the nape of his neck, was he nervous?
“ Yeah, one sec I will just grab it for you” you smile, wandering over to your window seat, you picked up a grey hoodie that Alec had lent you on your last mission. The one were Jace went undercover as a bodyguard, it was really funny.
“ Here you go” you say sauntering back towards Alec. He quickly took it from your grasp, your fingers touching for a split second. Fireworks went off in your stomach, but your face remained blank. You couldn’t give it away, the fact that you found him extremely attractive. No! You couldn’t do that, it would ruin everything!
“ Thanks” he murmurs turning to leave before turning around to face you again “ Again Im really sorry”
“I said its fine, now get out if here so I can change” you laugh, pushing him playfully out the door. And swiftly closed it.
You didn’t have much time to get ready now, you quickly slipped the tight dress on. Constantly pulling it down whilst trying to fasten the straps on the heels. You really weren’t built for this lifestyle, you were a more for the combat and dangerous side of life. Not dressing up and going to bars to get wasted.
After applying minimal make up, simple cat eye, mascara and a bit of chapstick. Your face wasn’t prone to bad acne so foundation wasn’t really a big fuss in your life, which you were highly grateful for due to the fact that it used to be real bad in the early teen years.
You quickly grabbed a leather jacket and made your way out to the hall. Izzy and Alec were already waiting there for you.
“ Iz Im telling you this dress is wayyyy to short, you sure this isn’t a shirt” you chuckled as you walked down the hallway towards the pair.
“ Nope defiantly a dress, and damn girl the faerie boys are going to be all over you tonight” she shrieked in excitement. “ doesn’t she look AMAZING Alec?” She says turning to her older brother that was once again scraping his eyes up your body, really again?
“ Alec!” Izzy shouts, snapping her fingers in front of his face.
“ Hmm?” He says, a bit clueless to what had just happened.
“ I said doesn’t Y/N look amazing, but I guess you’ve already seen for yourself” she chuckled, turning for the door. Leaving both you and Alec blushing like hell.
Alec why are you being so stupid?! Really? Checking Y/n out was one thing but getting caught by your sister? I just cant help myself, Its difficult being attracted to your best friend…
Walking into Pandemonium, I could smell the Downworlders, like rotten cheese. They all reeked of it, I crumpled my nose up in disgust. By the angel how did Izzy hangout with these people.
“ Hey, I going to go get us some drinks” I say loudly, trying to talk over the roaring music. Y/n and Izzy nod, so I head over to the bar.
Downworlder, werewolf to be exact was the bartender.
“ Well look what we have here, a child of the Nephilim” the guy behind the bar says in a sadistic tone.
“ You would be correct there, wouldn’t you… Lycanthrope” I say back in a mockingly way just to piss him off.
“ What can I get you Shadowhunter?” He says, glaring at me.
“ Three Tequila Sunrises, please” I reply pulling out my wallet.
“ coming right up”
After grabbing the drinks I tried to find the girls. Moving over to the dance floor I managed to snag a booth, where I placed our drinks. I took a gulp from my glass, the alcohol burned as it traveled down throat, damn this was awful but it was relaxing.
From the other side of the club I see Izzy dancing with Meliorn, where’s Y/n? My eyes quickly scan the dance floor only to see her stumbling away from a group of men. She looked like she was crying… What the fuck?!
I immediately ran to her, dodging the odd vampire in the process. Finally reaching her, I moved to grab her shoulders. She flinched from my touch but soon after realizing it was me, held onto me for support.
“ Hey, what’s wrong?!” I shouted over the blaring music. She just hugged me harder.
“ Are you okay?!”
She lifted her head and came closer to my ear.
“ Can we go, please?” She mumbled into my ear, I quickly nodded and began leading her to the entrance.
Once we made it to the pavement outside I asked her what had happened.
“ A guy tried it on with me and wouldn’t take no for an answer, nothing happened… I’m okay” she gave a weak smile. My blood began to boil how dare somebody do that to such a sweet girl.
“ wait here” I mutter, heading back into the club. My adrenaline was pumping, I was going to teach that twat a lesson! I stormed over there and pushed my way to the ring leader. Two faerie women were sat on his lap.
“ May I help you?” He laughs.
“ I’d like to have a word with the guy that tried it on with my girl” I spat. The whole group erupted in laughter.
“ You mean the one that tried hitting on your little shadow girl?” I rolled my eyes at his pathetic lie.
“ If that’s what you want to call it” I replied, folding my arms.
“ Well our boy Oscar here was the one that took a liking to the young lady . ” he chuckled pointing to a guy that was literally blue. Faeries just cant keep their hands to themselves. I strode over and connected my fist to his face, then again and again… He gets a hit in, right in my eye, but I knocked him to the ground. The next thing I know is the bouncer was pulling me away and dragging me to the entrance.
“ BY THE ANGEL!!!! ALEC ARE YOU OKAY?!” I hear Y/n’s frantic voice as she runs towards me. Pulling me into a hug, more to support me due to me being lightheaded.
“ Yeah I’m grand” I chuckle, hugging her back. Once we pulled away she placed a soft hand onto my cheek and gently stroked my now swollen eye.
“ I cant believe you did that for me” she whispered. Looking me in the eye then back to my pulsing wound.
“ I’d do anything for you Y/n” he whispered back, studying her face, she was so beautiful.
“ Thank you Alec” she replied and leaned in. My heart started to race, her lips met mine and suddenly I was in another world. Her arms snaked around my neck, pulling me closer to her. Not like I was complaining.
YOU WERE KISSING ALEC!!! What the actual fuck?! Where had this burst of confidence come from? But the thing you were so surprised about was the fact he kissed back!!!
The make out session lasted a good couple of minutes, till you guys pulled away for air.
“ Wow” he mumbled catching his breath.
“ I know ” You grinned, his arms still around your waist.
You guys finally made it back to the Institute, giggling as you walked through the door. Wow this night was turning out great, minus a few moments.
“ Hey do you want to watch a movie?” You suggest, taking the heels off your aching feet. Then making your way to the kitchen.
“ sounds like a plan” Alec beamed, smiling as he took his grey hoodie off, revealing a navy blue t-shirt. Damn he really suited dark colours.
“ great” you smiled back as you go to grab the microwavable popcorn from the top cupboard. You reached up on you tiptoes to try and reach the box.
You suddenly felt a body behind you, Alec’s warm breath on your neck. He grabbed the box effortlessly.
“ let me get that for you” he whispers, making your spine shiver.
“ yes Alec?” You whisper in reply.
“ I really really like you”
“ I really really like you too” you breath out shakily.
With one sudden movement you were on the kitchen counter and a wild Alec attacking your neck with soft kisses. His lips attached to yours for the second time tonight. Your hands made their way to his hair, pulling him closer to you. You could do this for hours…
A sudden cough coming from the doorway broke you two away. Robert was stood smirking, oh my god…
“ You two having fun?” He chuckled.
“I.. Erm..” Alec stuttered, obviously embarrassed that Dad had just catch him making out.
“Your mother and I would like to speak to you in the study” he smiled and headed back down the hall.
Alec turned back to you, and within seconds you both burst into fits of laughter.
“ You better go see what they want” You giggle trying to compose myself.
“ I suppose you’re right” he sighs nearing you, quickly pecking you on the lips “ I will be back in a minuet ” he whispers rubbing his nose against yours. You smiled internally and externally at his cuteness.
“Okay, don’t be too long” you say, jumping down from the counter and began to prepare the popcorn.
What on Earth could my parents want at this time?
I slipped into my Mum’s study, closing the door behind me.
“ you wanted to see me?” I say curiously.
“ yes, please sit down dear” Mum says with a slight smile, motioning to the couch in front of her. I quickly sat and looked at my parents to explain why they needed me.
“ so what’s the matter?” I question.
“ we have picked your bride to be, the wedding is going to be in two weeks” They both blurt out.
I cant marry anyone right now! I’m not ready! And what about Y/n…
“ I cant do it” I say looking at my hands.
“ Nonsense” Mum brushed off “ you are now dismissed ”
“ Do I not have a say in this?!” I say raising my voice, standing.
“Wow just wow” I say sarcastically storming to the door and slamming it on the way out.
The popcorn had finally stopped just as Alec appeared in the doorway. He didn’t look too happy…
“ I’m guessing it didn’t go so well?” You ask softly, pulling out two glasses and beginning to fill them with soda.
“ I’m getting married Y/n” he blurts out in a monotone voice. You pause suddenly.
“ when?” You say in an emotionless voice, you heart was racing, panic taking over.
“ Two weeks”
“ Ah a beautiful spring wedding, that will be lovely for you.” You say concealing your true feelings.
“ What?! Why aren’t you pissed off that I’m getting married? ” he says raising his voice coming closer.
“ Because Alec, there isn’t anything I can do about it!” You reply in the same tone back, turning to face him.
“ Well I’m furious! I don’t want to marry some Idris freak that doesn’t even know me! I want to marry somebody that I love! Someone that makes popcorn and soda for movies, I want you…” He rants, catching his breath, looking you deep in the eyes.
“ Alec… You’re getting married to the person your parents have picked… Thats how it works, trust me I wish things were different” you mumble the last sentence, grabbing your soda and bowl.
“ look I’m going to go watch Footloose, so if you want to come you can” you mutter heading back to your room.
The Next Morning
The sun shone through your blinds creating a pattern on your duvet, your eyes fluttered open. Two strong arms were holding tightly to your waist.
You move slowly to face the snoring boy, Alec looked younger and more innocent when he slept, all of the worry and concern left his face.
“ stop staring” he groans, opening one eye.
“ If you don’t want to be stared at don’t sleep in my bed” you reply, placing a hand on his cheek; gently stroking his cheek bone.
“ But I wanted to sleep in your bed” he sighs in his morning voice. Damn morning voices were always the best.
“ Tough then” you grin. Alec quickly moved so that he was straddling you.
“ shocking” he mutters, with a smirk.
“ I want pancakes” you groaned, pushing his body off yours, and getting out of your bed. You had black Nike shorts on with a pain tank top on, meh good enough.
You grabbed your teddy bear slippers and popped them on your feet. Before moving to the door.
“ bye” you say as you head towards the kitchen.
You entered to see Max at the breakfast bar, colouring in one of his books.
“ Hey Max, want some pancakes?” You say in a happy tone.
“ yes please!” He grinned nodding, then focused back to colouring.
After breakfast you began to make your way back to your room only to be stopped by Maryse.
“ Hello Y/n”
“ Hey Mrs Lightwood” you reply politely.
“You mind if we have a chat?” She says indicating towards her study with her head.
“ not at all” you smile, following her into her study. In the room was Robert and Alec… Wait why was Alec here?
“ Just take a seat next to Alec dear” Maryse smiles, sitting next to her husband. You quickly pop yourself down next to Alec. You question him saying why are we here with your eyes but he doesn’t have a clue, so just shrugs.
“ So Alec must of told you about the wedding then?” Robert starts.
“ Yes he did mention it” you say quietly, avoiding eye contact with him.
“ Aw that’s good, so when do you want to start wedding dress shopping?” Maryse questioned, with a huge grin. Yours and Alec’s heads snapped up in shock.
“ I’m sorry what did you just say?” You say quickly with wide eyes.
“ well the weddings in two weeks you will need a dress to get married in”
“ wait… I’m marrying Alec?” You ask, excitement building.
“ yes dear” she laughs, looking between me and Alec “ you two are clearly in love”
“ I don’t know what to say” you mumble, looking at Alec; who was ecstatic right now.
“ You don’t have to say anything, you can go if you would like” Robert smiles.
“ Thank you” you say with a grin, you grab Alec’s hand and drag him from the room, to your bedroom.
“ When were you going to tell me that I was the one you were going to marry?!” You laugh out, closing your door.
“ I didn’t know ” he chuckled, hugging you tightly, but suddenly holding you to arms length.
“ You do want to marry me right?” Ge asks with a serious facial expression.
“ Of course you dummie!” You giggled bringing him closer to you.
“ I couldn’t think of anyone that I love more that I would want to marry” you whisper, looking Alec in the eye.
“ Me either” he mumbles rubbing his nose against yours.
Aebh (Also Aobh)- A Goddess of Ireland who was the wife of the sea God Llyr, her son is the shapeshifter, Aed Mac Lir.
Aife (Also Aifa, Aoife)- Called the Princess of the Land of Shadows, she is a Celtic Queen associated with Scotland and a rival of the Amazonian queen Scathach. She is defeated by Cu Chulain and his son. Also the consort of the sea God Manannan and mother to Connla, she is associated with the swan, crane, and the alphabet of knowledge.
Aine- A primary Earth and solar sovereignty Goddess of Ireland associated with the Summer Solstice, she is still worshiped on Midsummer’s Eve and appeards on St. John’s Night. Queen of the Faeries and women of the Side, she is a Goddess of love, fertility, and desire. She is the daughter of Dannan Owel, wife and sometimes daughter of Manannan Mac Lir, and mother of Earl Gerald. As a powerful sorceress, her magickal symbols are the “red mare”, fertile crops, cattle, and the wild goose.
Amaethon- He is a wild husband-man and God of agriculture and the harvest. The Welsh word for farmer is “amaethwr”. Called the Harvest King, his symbols are the fruits of the harvest and farmer’s tools, particularly the sickle, hoe and plow.
Andraste (Also Andrasta)- She is an Icenian warrior Goddess of victory, war, fertility, life, and death. The British have sanctuaries dedicated to the Goddess Andrate in a sacred woods, like the forests of the Island of Mona (Anglesey). She is associated with the hare.
Arawn- He is the Welsh king of Annwn (Annwfn), the Brythonic Underworld; The Land Over Sea, Land Under Wave, Caer Sidi the Revolving Castle. He is shapeshifter, God of death, rebirth, ancestry, and war. He sent the swine to Pryderi, and is associated with cauldrons, sweet water springs, magickal beasts, the ancestral tree, and the pig.
(Source: Exploring Celtic Druidism Ancient Magick and Rituals for Personal Empowerment by Sirona Knight)