fadeaway

the endless winter

how much longer do I have to wait
how many more nights do I have to stay awake
to see you
to meet you

Summary: Your whole life has been plagued by the sight of gray: cold and lonely and unbearably plain; you thought you were the exception to a system of fate and destiny that brought two people together. That is, until your favorite Kpop group undergoes their first international tour.
Pairing: Jimin | Reader
Genre: Fluff; Idol/Fan AU + Soulmate AU (the one in which colors get brighter and brighter than closer you are and fade into gray when they’re too far)
Word Count: 11,869
Author’s Note: This was an idea I originally had for Hopeless Hearts, but it didn’t feel right in comparison to what Hopeless Hearts has become now. I knew I wanted to write something for Jimin again so this idea came back to me with more details and it just felt… right.

ALSO thank you Katie aka @minsvga for reading my outline and basically letting me talk you through the entire plot and letting me update you whenever I hit different word counts.

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You always thought you were broken—a failed outcome of a nearly flawless structure that has bounded and tied two people together since the very creation of human beings. You had heard of those special cases, of people who just saw gray their entire lives no matter how many oceans they covered and no matter how far they traveled, no matter if they searched the deepest corners or sought out the tallest mountains. You’ve heard of people in which distance wasn’t the problem—it was just them. Their existence had been doomed from the moment they were born, to live their life in monotone quality. Quite literally too, in fact. Knowing that there would be no one waiting for them on the other side as they slowly ventured through, never knowing a sunset or a sunrise or the grass—their life like an old film, classic and hazy and left behind.

For the first seventeen years of your life, the thought of just not having a soulmate was something that you didn’t necessarily think too deeply about. Some of your friends were of equal level to you, basking in the gray plaguing your line of sight. Albeit, there were a small handful who caught glimpses of red and yellow and blue, all of which were tinged in gray, during the duration of high school. And then there were an even smaller handful who were immediately gifted with the sight of the rainbow right out of the gate—their soulmates are the ones they end up going to prom with or are in the running for best couple in the yearbook, or other varying degrees of gross shit like that.

At a young age, the idea and concept of a soulmate, the concept of forever, was far too grand and far too wide to understand or grasp entirely. It also just seemed much too gross for you to want to understand. The thought that there was someone out there made just for you? Preposterous.

For the first seventeen years of your life, you didn’t really care. And you knew there were many others like you who shared that same belief system. No one wanted to have to settle down too early.

But none of you understood the true gravity of what it would be like to finally find your soulmate and the sensation of experiencing something you had been deprived of your entire life—henceforth you continued not caring, not knowing what you were missing out on in spite of everyone gushing endlessly about it.

Finding one’s soulmate has always meant to be a personal experience, something that could never be replicated or repeated—for a soulmate is supposed to provide as a ‘one and only’ occurrence; something that people could talk about yet not understand unless one had also uncovered the discovery of what would follow upon meeting a soulmate.  

For the first seventeen years of your life, the art of ignoring those type of conversations shared between parents and girls who thought they were better than anyone else gradually started to become second nature to you. Yes, you could grasp that meeting your soulmate was going to mark a momentous occasion in your life, but was it really that important? You were going to meet him eventually, so what was the point of rushing through everything?

You were going to meet your soulmate eventually.

Right?

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